Feeling her mates pain

“I ended up in this pack because the rogue pack had been attacked and to my sense I felt running away from the hurt and pain was the only thing I could and hence I ran to where my feet and the sounds in my ear could take me” she said as she let go of Jacqueline’s hands.

“I really am sorry Nathie” she apologized still as she could see the distance and hurt in the eyes of the girl before her.

“I am surprised I could survive an entire five hours run without crumbling to the ground” she said as she remembered running that day until she thought something was wrong with her with the way she had left and just ran the entire yard not looking back even once. 

What if they had followed her? She wouldn’t know and maybe she would have been caught but somehow she was here and extremely thankful she was here.

“Oh Nathie, I really am sorry for what you went through, Xavier and I and our entire pack would never want to hurt you” she said encouraging the young Luna to get comfortable with them and Xavier in particular.

“But what if he does decide to hurt me someday? I am a rogue and I have lived with rogues all my life, I smell like them and somehow one could say I smell like them. I am looking for my family, my mother, my father and my older sister Lucy. They all probably think I am dead” she signed trying to make her point gotten by Jacqueline.

“Well I am sure and certain if you let your mate bond help and work Xavier will find them for you” she said hoping she was signing sensible sense to the lady.

“I think you sure are missing the point, I am broken, I have been used, I don’t think properly without my brain having fear, and to make all the matters worst who would like to have a mate who is deaf? I am deaf Jacqueline, he just might get tired with the fact that I am deaf and might just hit me one day when I don’t respond the way I am supposed to respond” 

“Because you are his mate he is going to accept you, because he loves you he has already accepted you, he is supposed to love and cherish you even if you are not a wolf, be you rogue or wolf your mate still wants you and he hasn’t rejected you, if he didn’t want you the moment he had found you he was going to reject you immediately and that would have probably broken you even more and even maybe killed you since you were broken it would have come with a force that you couldn’t handle at all” she signed explaining why Xavier for sure loved her and was never going to let her go because he loved her for sure.

When she heard all of these she sighed and lay back in bed she was thinking, it seemed they indeed loved her and wanted her around but she had a lot of problems on her and she just didn’t want to throw them on this pack and their Alpha. It just might break and crumble him.

Suddenly she could hear growling from afar, it was intense as it almost shook the house off the floor, it sent shivers through her body she felt an intense guilt of pain and as the growling continued she felt sadness broke her even more as she felt an even more distant pain in her chest and probably her heart.

It was as though her heart was breaking and all she could do was hope that she could have some medication for it.

“Is he upset?” she signed asking Jacqueline who was looking at her quizzically.

“Yes he is upset and probably just sending out his pain” she explained.

“Why is he upset?” she asked frowning as she could not understand him and his anger mood swings.

 “Because he thinks you are rejecting him as you keep running away from him” she explained even more.

“Rejecting him? I haven’t even told him anything about acceptance or rejection” she said as she still was wondering what was happening.

“When mates find each other they need to accept each other so as to flow in everything but in your case you haven’t accepted his stance of entrance into your life, he feels you are rejecting him hence he feels upset” she explained even more.

As she heard those words the guilt worsens within her as she knew for a fact that she for sure was feeling something for him but she just wanted to go see her parents and make memories with them, what did this mating thing mean at this moment?

“If I accept him what will happen?” she asked.

“If you accept him, he can read into you and you read into him, he is going to share in your painful and happy moments he would make sure you are always fine, you both will spend the rest of your lives together, loving and protecting one another”

Her bottom lips trembled, the anxiety of it all, she knew he was going to want to be intimate with her he would want her to explain a lot of things and she was not just ready for any ot at this moment and point.

“What if I don’t accept him now that I am getting better?” she dared to ask even after being told she could die from the impact.

“If you don’t like I said you just might die, but since you are already getting better the rejection might change his mind off goodness and only he knows what punishment he might give to you since then he won’t see you a mate anymore but an enemy and a rogue who had dared to enter his pack” she replied with a sad expression feeling her face as she knew if he changed from being good to bad everyone was going to suffer not just his mate who rejected him.

She nodded going into a zone of her own thoughts at least this time not all lost but she was thinking she wouldn’t like them going through all bad things because she had made their Alpha so mad at her by rejection and she didn’t want to make them have to beg the moon goddess to take away their Alpha because he had become unbearable.

As she was deep in thoughts Jacqueline had to touch her arm so she didn’t get into that point where she just might need people to hold her down to calm down.

“But I promise you, if you accept him you would find your family, Derrick is going to have to pay for all he has done to you, your mate needs you and he is desperate he for sure wants you Nathie please give him that leverage to get through to you”

“How do you know that he really needs me? What makes you think he is desperate and would only be calm if I accept him? Just how does this man love me even in my darkest of sides?” she asked still trying inside her mind to accept and to send away all the thoughts that were trying their best to derail her mind.

“Just because I know baby, he would love you and you alone would feel it, what am I saying? He already loves you for just coming in here and wanting to be with you all through alone should show you that that man would do anything for you and your heart already feels the way he drifts as you run away from him that is to tell you that he wants you desperately, his wolf has been waiting for you for a hundred and forty four days” 

“What if he starts asking questions when I accept him?” she asked.

“I will make sure he doesn’t ask you questions so fast you would be telling him what you feel comfortable to tell him till he finally gets all of the information needed” she assured her.

“And if you need anything you can always come and meet me and I will be ready to help you with no questions” she assured her even still.

Nodding slowly she was building her trust firmly around Jacqueline as the lady had been with her from the very first day and had not maltreated her like the servants at the rogue pack had made feel pain and insulted her even when she didn’t hear anything but she knew the insults were wrenching with the way they made sure to twist their faces when saying it.

And how they used to pinch her on the wounded spots, they already had wounds and the pinches renewed the fresh red skin as blood oozed out of it.

Jacqueline noticed the food by her bed had not been eaten hence she forced her to make sure she ate of it as she knew she needed food to be healthy and not malnourished.

She had insisted on her eating fruits and vegetables even more as she wanted her to have more fiber so that she could be vibrant and well start looking for her family as that was the most important stuff that was on her mind.

She began to eat as Jacqueline signed the last thing she knew she just might hate this evening, “I will have to keep you here for just this night so I can check your vitals before you return to the room that was given to you at the Pack house okay?” she stated and she had no choice but to accept it.

“You have got to try hard so you can accept having male company and that is your mate Alpha Xavier okay?” 

“I know I just have a hard time trying to accept and trust him the way I have come to trust you but I am trying I will make sure he feels that I am beginning to accept him and not just cause I want do so but I will love him the same way he loves me” she said in a bright smile.

“What’s wrong?” she asked as she looked at Jacqueline who had suddenly become quiet and tensed for a moment.

“Do you discuss with your inner wolf?” she asked.

“My inner wolf?” she asked trying to understand where this conversation was taking her to.

“That fluttery feeling you have in your tummy when Xavier comes close to you is your wolf wanting to connect with his wolf Mathias so have you given yours a name yet?” she asked.

“I guess I am waiting for her to return she had disappeared for a while just coming to tell me not to bother when I was been beaten and when I had ran but if she is coming back I really do want her come so I can communicate with just as you said at least I won’t have to sign with her” she said with a bright smile to which Jacqueline returned.

There was a knock on the door and Jacqueline let her know it was Xavier who had returned and she shook her head accepting for him to enter the room.

“Are you okay?” where the first words he asked and the next moment she sent her hands out slowly but she wanted to do it as she pulled him in for a hug.

Her body shivered but she had to do this, he loved her and she was his mate so obviously she had to make sure that their bond remained intact.

“I am sorry” was the next thing he said as he knew she had felt his pain when up there because he too had felt her worry self as she asked those questions that needed answers.

“I will pick you up and take you to bed okay?” he asked tenderly and she shook her head in agreement.