CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

"1 handful of bhuljao glöma flower petal

1 flask of water from fountain of oblivion

3 silver feather from nocturnal bird

2 drops of your soul bipartite's tear

And finally, you'll need to wait three straight days and nights." Harvey said as his weary eyes looked at me.

"Stop looking at me like that dude." I replied, intimidated.

"Seryoso ka ba Liam? Kakagising lang ni Harvey from comatose. You also know that his bipartite souls case had something to do with that, and now you're asking stuffs about it?" pakisali ni Yuki.

"Liam, I know what you're up to." Harvey.

"I may look desperate but I don't want to suffer more." I said as I felt a pain in my chest.

"This won't be that easy. I'm telling you." sambit ni Harvey.

"I know."

"And the consequences?" tanong ni Yuki.

"I'll face it."

"Wait, ano ba kasing nangyari at biglaan mo na lang gustong tapusin ang lahat ng koneksyon mo kay Cindy? I thought you're madly in love with her?"

"I do. I do really love her."

"Then why are you doing this?"

"Yesterday, when I was about to visit mom, I received Yuki's message that you're awake." I said looking at Harvey. "I entered the mental hospital but before I reached her room, I heard cries in there. I took a peek from afar and saw Cindy with her dad. That's when I replied to Yuki and told him to call Cindy, and tell her that Harvey's looking for him."

"So that's why hindi ka nakapunta kahapon?" tanong ni Yuki.

"Exactly. I waited hours for Cindy's dad to leave before I entered and talked to mom.  I was actually shocked when mom told me that Cindy's dad insists that they know each other before." paliwanag ko. "Nahirapan pa si mom alalahanin kung ano ang sinabi ng dad ni Cindy. And I was halted when she said that he was telling her that they were soul bipartites."

"What?!" sabay na tanong ni Harvey at Yuki.

"Even me. Hindi ako makapaniwala."

"And what is the reason you're gonna take the cure?" tanong ni Harvey.

"I want to end every connection Cindy and I  have. Why still fight if you already lost? I see no reason to keep carrying the pain knowing that Cindy loves another man." I said as I smiled bitterly.

"Worry no more man..." Harvey said looking at my eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"Tinapos ko na ang connections namin."

I just saw myself sitting in front of the bar counter with my chin on my both palm. The loud music silenced my painful sobs and the lime lights lit up and hid my emotions.

"I see you're alone, want to have someone tonight?" a woman said trying to seduce me.

"No I don't. Leave." I said without even looking at her.

"Rude... but I like your voice. I hardly think that'll be better with moans." sambit pa nito at hinawakan ako sa balikat.

"Are you that dirty? Go and fix your life. There's a wider world aside from sex." sagot ko at ngumuso siya bago umalis.

"Another bottle please, as usual." saad ko pa sa bartender sa harap ko.

"May bago ako. Gusto mo i-try?"

"Why not? Just make sure malakas yan ha." biro ko na sinundan ng tawa naming dalawa.

"Ilang taon ka na pabalik-balik dito. Halos dito ka na tumira. Mas matagal ka pa rito kaysa sa duty ko. Alam ko na ang tolerance mo. Mas mataas pa sa Burj Khalifa."

Tawa na lamang ang isinagot ko at ini-on ang phone ko. I saw a message from my workmate and one from Yuki. 4:11pm, I should have been working but here I am, drinking and completely upset. I heaved a sigh still thinking if I should continue and set Cindy free.

In no time I saw myself walking out. Some flirtatious woman tried to approach me but I didn't even gave them a glance. I noticed that everything was waterlogged as if  a cloudburst just ended. I took my phone from my pocket and felt my heart started beating uncertainly.

Shaking, I typed a familiar contact and nervous swallowed me. As it rang, I felt my throat getting dried. I gulped.

Aren't she going to answer? Maybe she's doing something? Perhaps… she forgot about me.

I tried several more times but she's still wasn't answering. Ilang sandali akong nagpaikot-ikot at hindi napakali. I tried for one last time and she finally answered.

I cleared my throat and sighed before uttering,

"Cindy... Let's cut our silver string..."

I drove off my car and immediately went where I told Cindy to go. Since I told her, my heart didn't stop beating wildly. Hindi ko pa alam kung paano ako magsisimula sa kaniya.

"Ate, may kulay pink pa ba nito?" rinig kong malakas na tanong ng isang babae sa isang tindera.

"Wala na eh. Pero may violet pa." sagot naman ng tindera.

I didn't know that there's a bazaar happening at this very moment.

"Violet?! E'di nagmukha akong naglalakad na ube?! Pink gusto ko ate." pag iinarte ng babae.

"Ayaw mo ba ng violet? Para nga magmukha kang bisaya."

"Ako pa? Ikaw nga itong orange ang damit, neon green ang leggings, naka black shoes at may tali pang jacket sa bewang. Sige nga ate." tawa nito. "May pa-budots ka pang napakalakas na background music "

Tumawa ang tindera at nakipag-apir pa. I just walked pass through them and sat on a bench under a lamppost. I put my hands inside my pockets trying to find warmth. I sighed and it made a foggy effect telling me how cold it is.

I looked at my phone and saw few minutes just passed after I called Cindy. A little more time and my heart took a sudden leap as I saw the familiar figure I longed for a while.

From her sneakers, denim bottom that suits her curves, and her red sweater. His hair was quite messy yet that made her look more gorgeous. Her skin, her eyebrows, her lips, her nose bridge, her eyes and everything about her. I missed her like damn.

I took a gulp as she started looking at all directions trying to spot me. When her eyes met mine, my heart almost jumped out of my chest. My eyes started getting blurry as tears built up in it seeing how her tears unstoppably poured down her cheeks. Every step she took made me realize that I can't lose her, when in fact she was never mine.

"H-hi!" I awkwardly greeted.

"How are you?" she asked as she stopped right in front of me.

Damn I missed her voice. I missed how it sounded like a great lullaby in my ears and gave comfort every single time. I badly wanted to cry but god I don't want her to see that I'm hurting... still...

"I'm fine..." I bit my lower lip as I felt my voice was about to crack.

"Good to know." she replied and wiped her tears.

"And you?"

"How would I be fine if I think of you every once in a while?"

"Wha-" I was shocked.

"How would I be fine knowing that a person's hurting because of me and my foolishness?" she said and her voice cracked.

"Cindy..."

"I won’t make it any longer Liam. Later the night I last saw you... things were uneasy."

"What... do you mean?"

"I regretted! I regretted everything I made you feel. The thought that I broke someone's heart unknowingly, that I hurt you because I was loving another man that turned out that was just taking me for granted, and the fact that I broke a man who loves me just to be broken too..." her tears fell straight to the ground. "I was so stupid!"

"Cindy..."

"But it's fine though. I see you're better now. And you told me to end what we have." tuloy niya na ikinadurog ko.

"I won't be better without you. You are the only woman I loved who made me feel every single emotion, one can imagine, in one particular time. Imagine, I was madly in love with you, I was happy for I was able to tell what I feel for you but I am breaking at the same time... fantastic how the world revolves around irony."

"Liam?"

"I missed you Cindy... I missed you more than I can bear but god, we had enough." I said looking directly at her eyes and I wasn't able to stop my tears anymore. "We had our time, let's end this."

She didn't answer and her hand touched mine. She was trembling, so as I.

"Cindy, we're bound to fulfill what mom and your dad weren't able to do. We're destined to end up together for mom and tito Adam should have ended up too. Unfortunately, after two trials, we both failed." I said feeling the heaviest pain in my chest.

"Liam... don't you love me anymore?"

"I do! I freaking love you and that never changed even a bit. It would be a great lie to tell you I don't love you anymore because it still hurts. If I don't love you then it shouldn't have hurt me... but everyone knows how I break everytime I fight for my love for you. I reckon it's fine, one fine day will come and I won't feel the pain again. And that's when I don't love you anymore."

"Liam... Why cut our silver string if we could actually start a new one?" sambit niya kasabay ng malalakas na hikbi.

"And Harvey?"

"H-he ended our connections. I thought I would never be fine after that. But then I realized, the moment you called and I heard your voice. I love you..."

"Cindy...?" I asked in great confusion.

"If I don't love you then I shouldn't have been affected. If I don't love then I shouldn't have felt pain seeing how wrecked you were. If I don't love you... then why did I feel the same pain you had?"

"Dahil naaawa ka sa akin! That isn't love! That's mercy! You are into the idea that you are hurting someone, that is why you feel regrets and you are trying to put yourself in my position kaya nararamdaman mo rin ang sakit." sambit ko kasabay na bumuhos ng mabigat na emosyon.

"N-no! What I had for you was pure love. It just happened that I realized it too late... and that's when you left. You don't know how hard it was for me. I almost died in regret. It made me thinking that I was so stupid to make the man who loves me hurt. I wasn't doing anything to love you because I was preoccupied looking at the man I thought I love, that happened to be looking after my sister... my twin sister." another wave of tears fell from her eyes.

"Cindy..." my mind was crowded up by confusion.

"After all this time... napakatanga ko dahil ako ang talo. I turned my back from you, I lost you. I walked to Harvey, I lost him too. But wrong choices are made to tell people to be wiser right? That's why I'm choosing you now. I may have realized it late but I'm afraid it's real."

"Cindy... I love you. Words will never be enough to tell how much I love you. And you're telling me you love me too... But our time has passed. When I had you that night, I accepted the fact that we can't be together."

"I love you and you love me... but why are you doing this? Isn't it enough? Isn't it something worth fighting for?"

I bowed as I felt a bang in my chest. I can hardly breathe for I was crying so damn hard.

"Love isn't a requirement though."

"Then what should we do to win?"

"It isn't about winning anymore."

"Liam ano ba? Tell me, ayaw mo na ba?"

"What happens easily tell us that we can't be together. Our friends, your dad and my mom... your sister... magulo. We were like the silver strings we had, iniisip mo lang na maganda because you are blinded by the thought na dahil iyon sa pagmamahal and you are avoiding the fact na buhol-buhol ito at magulo."

"E'di ayusin natin together. This will be better if we do it with each other. Us against all odds."

"But it's not about us... it's what our relationship does to everyone around us."

"Liam... We can tell the world how we love each other and show them how far can we risk anything for us together. And thats..."

"Setting one another free... Cindy... let's end this." I said and my tears fell.

Cindy cried harder as she sighed. I was completely wrecked and I don't know if I can still handle my emotions. It seemed like I'm draining. Just then, from the loud music from bazaar, it started playing a song and it resonated around us. There seemed no people and it was just all about us two.

Suspended in the air

I hear myself breathing

Hanging by a thread

My heart is barely beating

I felt a chest pain hearing every lyrics that stabbed my chest directly.

I haven't fallen yet

But I feel it coming

Tell me would it be too much to ask

If you break it to me gently

"Liam..." she uttered my name. It sounded full of pain and that was enough to break my heart.

And I'm waking the next day

Without you beside me

And you hold on to the day

Tomorrow will just be a memory

That I would look back at all of this

I wonder why I stayed in here

Just to watch you disappear

I uncontrollably sobbed and tears fell down my cheeks again.

So I breathe and let you go

How do I breathe

And let you go

Mula sa makakapal na ulap sa itaas na unti-unting bumabagsak bilang milyon-milyong pinong patak ng ulan. Dalawa kaming nakatayo sa gitna ng kawalan. Unti-unting nilalamon ng dilim. Ngunit wala 'ni isa ang gumagalaw for we know we'll be loosing one another soonest as we take a single step away.

"Liam..." she said looking directly at my eyes and made me feel all the pain she has.

I looked at her tracing every detail of the face I will forever miss. I know someday, our paths will meet but we won't even look at our faces for we don't know each other. Our names, memories even how we used to look at one another. And no one would know about our story. Afterall, it will be just a part of our painful history.

So before it's too late

I'll take a step away

I know one word will make me go

Rushing back to you

I sighed heavily. Though I'm breaking, I forcibly moved my knees and started taking a step to her. I cupped her face and made her look at me. I wiped her tears off her cheeks.

So I'll just shut my eyes

Forget that you were mine

How do you go from making one your home

And then just letting it all go

Without any word, as if the universe was pushing me to do so, I slightly pushed myself to her and felt her warmth.

Let me take it in

Before it sinks in

I slowly inched our gap and closed my eyes. The surrounding was silenced by our heartbeats and not a single sound stops it for our hearts beat simultaneously.

She wasn't moving and I felt her warm breath on my neck. Until slowly and slowly, my tears fell once again as our lips touched. We had our lips touching that made us feel what one another does. I can feel every pain she has up to the tiniest despair.

Let me take it in

Before it sinks in...

For the last time, I smiled at her. And there I saw the most painful smile on her lips.

"I now have the cure... all we need is each other's tears. One last step and we can end this." sambit ko at ramdam ko ang bigat sa d****b ko.

"Are you... really sure about it?"

"I ain't sure but this is the best thing to do."

"H-hindi ka ba nanghihinayang sa kung anong mayroon tayo?"

"Of course I do. I just tell myself that in the next lifetime, I'll make sure to turn every sob you made now into happiest laughs. Every tear you had will be brought by the most genuine joy. And there, I'll make sure I'll have you. I'd rather not to have the chance to live again if I won't be with you in the end."

"Liam..."

"Cindy..."

"I'll assure you one thing... One day will come, you'll utter my name and I'll say yours with no pain...But joy and love."

"Cindy..."

"Liam, let cut our silver string." and with the last bitter smile, she took a gulp and her tears fell.

In no time I found myself holding a flask, trembling. I looked at Cindy and she was staring at the flask she's holding.

"R-ready?" I asked shaking.

She nodded.

With no cue, to complete the cure, we both added each other's tears. With heart pounding so hard, we looked at each other's eyes and drank our cures.

Cure to end what he have, cure that will stop all hurting and pain, and cure that will set us free.

In no time I saw us still standing there. No one was making a single move. Until I felt something so painful right at my chest. I slowly ran out of air...

...until everything went black...