2. Forty

Ethan's words kept rolling in my head every time my brain was free to actively think about something. I was going crazy about all the arguments I was having with myself in my head.

It had been two days since I had told Ethan the selective truth about Harper while lying on a gym mat. Not the best of places, but still, it was better than nothing. 

These past two days I have been busy writing am essay which was due to be submitted today. Granted the teacher had assigned this essay three weeks ago but I had just gotten around to doing it. 

All this drama had started affecting my academic life and I hated it. I had always kept my grades up because I knew it was one of the many ways, I could be independent and take care of myself in the way I wanted to do. I have always had ambitions and boy trouble was the last thing I would let get into the way of that. I had already shifted schools mid-year; I wasn't about to ignore my studies.

It was time I set my priorities straight and the number one on my list was me and my studies. So, trying my best to ignore the boy's troubles and the presence of supernatural creatures in my life, I did what I had to do. 

I shut off the part of my brain that was boy-crazy and activated the simulating part which helped me get ready to complete my essay. I rolled my sleeves and dived into the essay, staying up the last two nights to do the best I could. I wasn't going to be modest, I thought I did well. Hopefully, the teacher thought so too.

I was done with my extra tutoring lessons too, so I had even more extra time on my hands. I treated myself to an Oreo shake after I finally handed over my essay to the teacher today. 

It had been a few hours since I had got back from school. After I got back, I did my share of the chores and tried my best to not scream at the sound of the bed creaking down the hall. My sister and her mate were crazy and didn't mind that the whole apartment building was listening to their active sexual life. Neither the apartment building nor me, their sister. I couldn't even emphasize how uncomfortable I felt when I saw them in the mornings.

I lay in bed, shuffling in my duvet, deciding on my next course of action. What did I want to do, did I want to give into my strong attraction for Ethan and see where it goes, or did I go back to the person I still loved, after all this time, to see if what we had was any way salvageable? I had never been so afraid in my life and I wasn't even jumping into some torrential river in an adventure sport or something.

I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep, deciding that whatever happened, I would at least call Harper. It was the safest and most reasonable option I could think of. I would unblock his number and call him as soon as I woke up.

***

I was floating and falling.

Not being able to feel anything.

Darkness.

The feeling of the softest grass under my body.

Walking to the cliff.

Finding the white woman on the edge of the cliff.

I huffed when I saw the moon goddess, who was surprise surprise, dressed in white from head to toe. Her hair and dress billowed in the gentle breeze and I rolled my eyes at the pretentious ethereal quality of the scene.

I crossed my arms over my chest and rubbed my arms as my bare feet came in contact with the damp grass. If I had known she would visit me in my sleep, I would have worn my stupid sneakers to bed. 

Why was I here anyway? What more did she want to talk to me about? Hadn't she told me enough, done?

"You haven't been in contact with anyone from the pack back home. Have you?" She asked, not bothering with pleasantries. Funny how it didn't bother me at all.

"Why are you asking me that? I'm sure you know the answer to your question."

"I do. I just thought as you have no way of knowing what's going on with Harper and his pack, I'd give you an update."

"How kind of you! " I snapped and rolled my eyes. If my sarcasm bothered her, she didn't say anything. If anything, it looked as if she didn't want to be here, she seemed to be in a hurry and restless. She also looked drained and somehow, less godly.

Even though I was acting like I didn't care, I did and what ticked me off was the fact that she probably knew it too. I had no idea what had been going on with Harper and the pack since I had left. I had been gone three months and no news. I had pretty lost contact with Seb too, because it felt weird to stay in touch with him. I knew if I was going to detox, I needed to flush everything out of my system, and that unfortunately included him.

I had no idea if they had even figured out who murdered Elijah, a pack member who was killed and crucified while shifting back into his human form. His features were frozen mid-shift and was one of the most grotesque sights I had seen.

"There is a rogue group who is targeting the pack and all its members. They were the ones who murdered Elijah, attacked and almost killed Harper and attacked-" she listed.

I gasped in shock at her words. Attacked and almost killed Harper? When the fuck did this happen? "They attacked Harper?" 

"Shot him with an arrow at the pack border. It was laced with wolfsbane. They planned to kill." She said, her voice tight and somber.

My whole body was numb at the moment, I didn't know what to think and feel. Harper could have died while I was here, worrying about my grades and other stupid things. Before I could ask her if he was alright, she continued telling me her news.

"The rogues attacked the whole pack during a celebratory event. Many of the pack members were killed and some gravely injured."

I gulped nervously and wrapped my arms around myself, reeling from the shock. How was it possible that all this happened in such a short time?

"Was anyone I know hurt?" I whispered and instantly felt bad for asking the question. Other lives mattered too, and not just the ones I knew. 

"Seb was hurt. Gravely. He's in a coma. He might lose his wolf."

My mouth opened in shock, unable to process what I was hearing and the disaster that was happening back at home. Sebastian was a white wolf and in the short time I knew him, he was extremely proud of his ability to shift and run in the forests. I didn't even want to imagine what he would feel if he woke up and came to know his wolf was gone. When not if. When he woke up.

"Is he going to live?" I whispered and asked the goddess. Being a goddess, she was supposed to know these things, wasn't she? Suddenly, I felt grateful that she had chosen to come and update me on everything.

"I don't know. I'm trying my best to keep his wolf alive but it's been draining so much energy out of me." She said and smiled sadly at me. 

"Also, the celebratory event was about the birth of the second child of the alpha couple. Eva gave birth."

I frowned and mentally calculated how many months it would be right now. If she had given birth, it would have been a premature baby. 

"It was a C-section." The goddess replied, confirming my thoughts. "It was a girl bit you already knew that."

I nodded because I did. The first time I met Harper's parents, the goddess visited me and asked me to break the news that Eva was pregnant and also told me the gender of the child. She told me that it was the only way Harper's parents would be able to accept a human mate for their white alpha son. I had gifted them a pregnancy kit but they refused to know the gender of the baby. They wanted to be surprised and I respected that. It seemed so long ago, even though it was only a couple of months ago. 

"That's not the only reason I came to you, tonight." She said and I watched her as uncertainty washed over her features. Was she wondering if I was ready for the information she was about to give me? Like always?

"By now, you know that you and Ethan are attracted to each other. I came here today to let you know that his relationship with the white alpha isn't the only reason for it."

My head snapped up to meet her eyes. The last time we met, she had told me that I wasn't ready for the information yet. What had happened since then to make her tell me the reason now?

"Ethan's your Batair, Zara."

"He's my what?" I wondered. 

"You ask him the next time you see him. You must do."

"Can't you tell me that yourself?" I huffed and rolled my eyes.

"I could but I have to try to someone's dying wolf." She reminded me and gave me a sad smile.

Well, now I wasn't going to stop her.

"Till next time, Zara." I just nodded and my eyes closed again.