Chapter 49

"Daddy! Daddy!" Nagulat ako nang sumigaw si Aedin at masayang masaya siyang nakatingin sa dalampasigan!

Halos malaglag ang panga ko nang makita si Niko na masayang nakatingin sa amin! Kung hindi pa ako siniko ni Max ay hindi pa ako makakakilos sa kinatatayuan ko.

Kaagad namang nagpababa si Aedin kay Jen dahil nasa mababaw na lang kami at tumakbo na ito patungo kay Niko. Kaagad naman niya itong sinalubong ng yakap at binuhat. Nakangiti sila pareho pero napasimangot ako at padabog na umahon mula sa dagat.

Nakangiti siyang nakatingin sa akin na akala mo ay parang walang nangyari kaya tinignan ko siya ng masama nang tuluyan akong makaahon. Tinawag niya ako nang nilampasan ko siya pero hindi ko siya pinansin at dumiretso na ako sa lounge chair dahil nandoon ang tuwalya ko.

Para naman siyang nagulat sa inakto ko pero sumunod pa din siya habang karga si Aedin. Hinawakan niya ako sa braso ko nang hindi ako tumitingin sa kanya kaya iwinaksi ko ito.

"Mommy, are you mad?" Paiyak na tanong ng anak ko.

Lalo lang akong nanggigil kay Niko! Bago pa ako nakasagot kay Aedin ay nakalapit na si Max at kinukuha siya.

"Baby, come to ninang! Mommy and daddy will talk, okay?"  Masuyo niyang sinabi at kaagad nang kinuha si Aedin. Umiiyak siya pero wala na siyang nagawa.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Masuyo niyang tanong sa akin at hinawakan niya ako sa aking braso at marahang pinaharap sa kanya.

Tinulak ko siya sa dibdib nang mapaharap ako sa kanya pero hindi ako nakawala nang yakapin niya ako ng mahigpit.

"Ano ba Niko?! Bitiwan mo nga ako! Bakit ka ba nandito?!" Singhal ko sa kanya at kinailangan ko pang tumingala para magtama ang mga mata namin.

"What's wrong?" Tila litong lito niyang tanong sa akin.

Pinagsusuntok ko naman siya sa dibdib niya para bitawan niya ako. Nang pakawalan niya ako ay parang wala pa din siyang ideya sa ginawa niya! Napakagaling naman niyang magpanggap!

"Huh! Ano ha, magmamaang-maangan ka?” Nanggigigil kong singhal sa kanya.

Nang hindi siya nakapagsalita ay muli akong nagpatuloy dahil napaka bigat talaga ng dibdib ko ngayon at malapit na akong sumabog!

“Tinatanong mo pa talaga, what’s wrong? Manhid ka ba talaga, Niko? Nakaugalian mo na din talaga ‘yong bigla bigla kang mawawala na ni ho, ni ha ay wala ano?” Sabi ko sa kanya sa mapait na tono. Napatungo naman ito.

“I’m sorry baby if I have not texted nor call you because-“

“Anong excuse mo this time?” Inis kong sabi.

“I lost my phone and I didn’t get the chance to buy a new one because I was really busy.”

Napatawa ako ng pagak. “Busy kay Celine?” Punong puno ng pait kong tanong.

Tila naman siya nagulat sa tanong ko at napakunot noo pa siya.

“Oh ano? Lulusot ka pa? Nawawala daw ang phone!” Pauyam ko pang sabi.

Napaawang naman ang kanyang mga labi at sinubukan pa ulit akong hawakan pero umatras ako kaya napabuntong hininga na lang siya.

“Celine was there but I was not with her. I was too busy with work.” Tila pagod na pagod niyang sabi.

“Hindi ko alam kung paano pa ako maniniwala sa’yo.” Napapailing kong sabi.

“Baby, please listen to me.” Marahan niyang sabi kaya napatingin ako sa mga mata niyang para nang maiiyak.

Muli siyang napabuntonghininga bago nagpatuloy. “Hindi ko saulo ang number mo so as much as I want to call you ay hindi ko magawa. Their internet was down for days, too.”

“Kung gusto madaming paraan, kung ayaw madaming dahilan. Bakit hindi mo nalang aminin na nagkita lang kayo do’n ng girlfriend mo do’n? Wala namang problema kung siya ang mahal mo! Magsabi ka lang para hindi ako umaasa!” Hindi ko na napigilan ang pagpatak ng mga luha ko.

Muli siyang lumapit sa akin at pinunasan ang mga luha ko. “Celine is not my girlfriend and I don’t even love her. Ikaw lang ang mahal ko..” Marahan niyang sabi.

“Siya ang nakasagot nang tawagan ka namin ng anak mo. Tulog ka na daw dahil ‘napagod’ ka..she even told me that she’s your girlfriend. Hindi ko na alam, Niko..” Seryoso kong sabi sa kanya at pinalis ko ang mga luha sa pisngi ko.

Napabuga siya ng hangin at tumingala sa taas na parang problemadong problemado. “Alright, she’s my ex and she wants me back.” Hindi na ako nagulat sa sinabi niya dahil alam ko nang siya ang first girlfriend niya.

“Hindi ako pumayag dahil hindi ko siya mahal. Nakaraan na siya pero ikaw ang kasalukuyan ko at ang hinaharap. Ikaw lang ang mahal ko.”

"Kung mahal mo ako, bakit mo ko iniwan?" Hindi siya nakaimik. Sinamantala ko ang pagkakataon na ‘yon para magpatuloy.

“Alam mo pala na buntis ako noon pero anong ginawa mo?” Punong puno ng pait kong tanong sa kanya.

"I.. I thought you.." Halos hindi siya makasagot!

"You thought what?! That I cheated on you, right? Ba’t gano’n Niko? Mula pa noon ay wala ka nang tiwala sa akin? Kailan ba ako nagtaksil sa’yo? Ah, dahil na naman sa mga pekeng larawan, tama?”

"I was miserable for months.. but I came home for you. I was ready to accept everything but..but I saw that doctor half naked outside your house. I was devastated so I flew back to US. I.. I’m so sorry baby. I love you so much." His voice broke.

"You should've asked me! Alam mo din bang muntik nang mawala si Aedin dahil wala akong ginawa kundi umiyak nang umiyak noong hindi ka na nagparamdam sa akin? Halos hindi ko kayanin, Niko. Halos hindi ko mapatawad ang sarili ko.” Umiiyak kong sabi sa kanya.

Parang naging sariwa ulit ‘yong sakit na naranasan ko noong iniwanan niya ako kaya napahagulhol na ako nang tuluyan.

Napamura naman siya ay naikuyom ang mga kamao niya. Tumingala siya na tila pinipigilan sa pagpatak ang mga luha niya. Alam kong masakit din ito sa kanya..alam kong mahal niya si Aedin.

"Si Ethan.” Napangiti ako nang mabanggit ko ang pangalan ni Ethan. “Siya lagi ang nandiyan para sa amin ni Aedin. Mula sa paglilihi hanggang sa panganganak at hanggang sa pagpapalaki kay Aedin. Sa totoo lang, kung kaya ko sanang turuan ang puso ko ay ginawa ko na para maibalik ko ang pagmamahal niya sa amin ng anak mo.”

Muli siyang nagmura at hindi na niya napigilan at nag-uunahan nang pumatak ang mga luha niya.

"Ginawa niya lahat ‘yong mga bagay na ikaw sana ang gumawa! Pero lintik na puso ‘to dahil kahit na winasak mo ‘to ng paulit ulit ay ikaw pa din talaga.” Humahagulhol kong sabi sa kanya.

Hindi lang ako nasasaktan dahil sa paulit-ulit niyang pananakit sa akin kundi nasasaktan din ako dahil alam kong masyado kong nasaktan si Ethan! Tapos ganito lang ang gagawin niya sa akin?

Umiiyak na kami pareho pero kahit papaano ay gumaan ang dibdib ko. Dahil na din siguro  nailabas ko na ang pait na kinikimkim ko sa puso ko.

"I owe him a lot. I hate myself even more!" Umiiyak nitong sabi at paulit-ulit pang nagmura.

Napasabunot pa siya sa buhok niya habang umiiyak at paulit-ulit na humihingi  ng tawad sa akin.

Alam kong doble ang sakit ng nararamdaman niya ngayon pero kahit na ano pang pagsisisi ang gawin niya ay hindi na niya maibabalik pa ang mga oras na nawala. Dahil lang sa kawalan ng tiwala.

Sabi nga nila kapag nagmahal ka, dapat ka ding magtiwala. At kung sakali man na masaktan ka sa bandang huli, atleast alam mo sa sarili mong ginawa mo pa din ang tama. Kesa puro panghihinayang tulad ngayon. Napakarami tuloy 'kung sana'. Madami kang mapapalampas na masasayang mga pagkakataon dahil sa kawalan ng tiwala.

Napabuntonghininga akong bumaling sa kanya.

"Saka ka na lang bumalik kapag kaya mo nang magtiwala." Sabi ko sa kanya at tinalikuran ko na siya.

"Baby, please don’t leave me. I love you so much. I’m sorry. Please..” Pagmamakaawa nito sa akin at hinawakan niya ako sa braso ko.

Hindi ako lumingon pa sa kanya dahil baka hindi ko siya kayang tiisin.

"Bitaw, Niko." Seryoso at malamig kong sabi sa kanya pero hindi pa din niya ako binitawan. “Pakiusap.”

Dahan-dahan niya akong binitawan at hindi ko na nga siya nilingon pa at dumiretso na ako sa kwarto namin.

Niko's POV

"Dude! No choice, we have to watch this. Sayang ang 10 points! You know how kuripot that instructor is." Jeremy said while shaking his head in irritation.

We all agreed. Damn NSTP! I can't believe I have to watch this cheesy stuff just for the heck of it!

We are about to watch Romeo and Juliet role play something. Ugh, I better sleep! I sat comfortably but as I was about to close my eyes, the curtain slowly opened so I got a little curious and I decided to pay a little attention. Hmm let’s see.

Wait, man, the girl is beautiful! I was immediately captivated by the way she looked.. at Romeo. I don't understand why I suddenly got jealous and wished I was Romeo. Damn! She's so beautiful I couldn't take my eyes off her. The boys just couldn't stop teasing me because I was attentive the whole show.

Few days later, I thought it was just nothing but I still couldn’t get her out of my head! I was just literally thinking about her when she suddenly appeared outside our classroom! I think I am hallucinating. No, man! That's her!

"Hoy! Sinong tinitignan mo diyan?!" Divine asked, my lesbian classmate.

"Do you know that girl?" I asked.

"Ah! Jazmin ‘ata pangalan niyan. Kaibigan ‘yan no’ng crush kong 2nd year. Nursing yan."

Jazmin.. what a nice name. See you soon my princess. I bit my lower lip trying to suppress a grin.

"Bro, where are you going?" Von asked after our first class.

"Call of nature bro! Sama ka?" I teased.

"Eh bakit sa kabilang building pa? Babae titignan mo eh!" He teased back.

I just laughed because he was right. Dude, I am smitten!

There she was. My heart's beating so fast. I never felt this way before, not even for Celine. I was nervous and it was not really my intention to bumped into her because I was supposed to say  'hi'. But man..

"Aray! Ano ba yan?" She yelled at me so I was caught off guard! She was even more beautiful up close!

I picked up her books and gave it back to her.

"Oh ayan. Sa susunod tignan mo dinadaanan mo." I can’t believe I said that! I fucked up! Damn!

I followed her once. Luckily there's a vacant apartment near theirs so I decided to rent the place and moved there right away with my cousin Von who's ever supportive. Hell, cheesy but yes.

I always get nervous every time she's near. Am I really torpe? I guess I really am!

We met again in the bar. She was already tipsy when I got there but she looked cute. She's not just beautiful, she's also sexy and.. damn hot.

"Hala! Bro, can you accompany Jazzy to the rest room please?" Gab said.

Oh, my baby was about to throw up. That was my chance so I willingly obliged. I like her so much I wanted to protect her. I wanted to punch those men who look at her like hungry lions waiting for their prey.

I even rode a bus just to be with her. She fell in my lap that I almost forgot to breathe! Geez!  She invited me to have dinner or snack in the bus stop. Well, that's where it all started I guess. I mean, that's when my ka-torpehan ended. Geez!

I can't believe she's asking me to kiss her! I have always wanted to kiss her since day one but hell no! She's drunk!

"Bakit ha? Pangit ba ako? Where's Von? Maybe if I ask him to kiss-"

I stopped her by kissing her but I suddenly got into my senses. I should not take advantage because she's drunk for crying out loud! But she got mad and... I lost control.

I was the happiest when we became official. But hell, I always get jealous especially to her best friend Jeff. I knew he likes her. And I also knew he was her first love. Who wouldn't get jealous, right?

We sometimes get into small fights.

"Jazmin, a-are you sure about this baby?" I asked.

I lost all my damn control when she nodded. We made love that night. I couldn't wait to marry her.

After we graduated, I asked her to marry me. Not because I was threatened when lolo wants me to marry another girl. They can do whatever they want but nobody can control me. I married her because I love her so much and I can't afford to lose her.

Being married to her is the best thing that ever happened to me. But I haven't told her that I needed to fly to US to take my masters. Everything went well eventually. But it was too hard for me to leave her but I had to. I can't wait to be with her again.

"Son, you have to look at these pictures. I was right all along. She's not the right woman for you."

"Mom, what are you talking about? We have talked about this over and over! I love her! Why can’t you understand?" I was really pissed!

I was so tired from school and here she is video calling and badmouthing my wife!

"I'll send you the pictures! She's cheating! She doesn't deserve you!"

"What the hell is your problem, mom?! Can you just stop it?" I yelled because she's just too much.

I sighed heavily while massaging my head. She's giving me a real headache!

God! I missed my baby so much!

I accidentally clicked on the pictures mom sent me. It was Jaz kissing another man's neck! I was hurt. And here's Gab telling me stories about this certain doctor and Jaz.

It broke me into pieces. I didn't answer her calls because I was scared! I was so scared she might tell me she fell out of love and fell in love with someone else.

When I finally had the courage to face her, I found out she also deactivated her accounts. And Gab showed me pictures of Jaz and that doctor together in an OB-GYNE clinic. What shocked me more was when she told me Jaz was pregnant.. with that man.

No! Maybe the child's mine! But I asked her before I left if she's pregnant. She said no. And Gab said the baby is just 12 weeks. That's around three months. I don’t know how she found out but who cares! I am already here for almost five months now! Fuck! I was devastated! I was miserable for months!

Nevertheless, I still went home for her months later. I was ready to beg for her love. I want her back. I may be stupid but I’m also willing to accept and father her baby. That's how much I love her.

'Come on, Niko. Don’t be a coward and get out of the car now.'

When I was about to open my car, a man went out of their gate half naked.. the man in the pictures. I’m ready to die now! Fuck!

I wanted to see her one last time.

There she is. She seem tired from walking so she sat on the bench near the court where I was hiding. Her tummy's quite big now, maybe on her 7th month now. She's glowing and more beautiful than ever. She's happy.

My baby.. Goodbye.

"You gonna buy that po?" A child asked me while I was busy looking for something.

He's cute so I crouched down to his eye level but I was stunned when I got to see him up close because he looked exactly like me when I was little.

I looked at her mom who was holding him while looking for hard hats?

Jaz? My heart's beating so fast! Oh my God! This can't be happening!

"Uh-huh. What's your name little boy?" I was literally shaking.

"My name is Paul Aedin Ventura! How about you po?"

Fuck! I got her pregnant! She even named him after me in spite of everything. What have I done?!

"Baby, let's go na." Jaz said.

She was shocked when she saw me. I saw pain in her eyes.

Damn you Niko! 

I promised myself that I would do everything just to win her back.

When I thought everything is falling into place, I failed her again.

"Bitaw Niko." She said.

"Pakiusap."

Is she giving up on me? Please no.. I love her so much. Fuck! I deserved this!