Chapter 2

Looking at my cousin, I smiled. Pietho was cute and radiant. She was just right for him. She was equally silent, shy and mysterious. Since childhood, I kept admiring how graceful she was in general. And then I realized that he was only meant for her.

Lumapit ako kay Pietho na nakababa na mula sa limousine. She sweetly smiled at seeing me. I genuinely smiled back too. Kasama ang mga magulang niya, sabay-sabay kaming pumuwesto sa aisle. Ilang sandali pa at nagsimula na ang wedding March.

"Finally, after the long wait here you are, getting married to the man you truly love." I heard Tita Preshy said while caressing Pietho's cheek with veil that covered.

"Masayang masaya kami para sa iyo, anak," dugtong pa ni Tito Robert at hinalikan pa si Pietho sa may noo nito.

"Thank you Mommy, Daddy and of course," lumingon s'ya sa gawi ko. "Thank you, couz," she smiled at me sweetly that breaks my heart into pieces.

Kung gaano s'ya kasaya sa araw na ito, ay s'ya namang pagkalugmok ko sa sakit at kalungkutan.

"You're always welcome." I said covering the pain on my voice as I immediately avoid my gaze at her and walk in front to start the entourage.

When it was my time to walk down the aisle, I couldn't help but stare at Seb.

God, he's getting married. But not to me. Not like in my dreams.

Bago ko pa maramdaman ulit ang pamilyar na sakit, my gaze suddenly turned to Wade who's now grinning at me. Ano na naman kaya ang iniisip ng taong ito? I saw how he pronounce the word 'Wow' silently while looking at me.

He never failed to ruin my mood. And the bastard doing it again. I rolled my eyes in the air. Kung wala lang talagang tao ngayon dito, at kung hindi lang talaga kami naka-attend ng kasal ay kanina ko pa 'to sinapak. Bwisit! Namimikon na naman kasi ang walang hiya. Pasalamat na lang s'ya at nakakapagtimpi pa ako.

Nang makarating ako sa pwesto ko na katapat nina Wade at Seb, ay sumunod namang naglakad si Pietho kasama ang mga magulang n'ya.

Everyone's eyes were on Pietho including me. Pietho is really pretty, indeed. She wore a lovely white lace and satin wedding gown with a halter top. I'd been dreaming being in Pietho's place countless of times. I'd played that image on my mind over and over again until I firmly believed it would happen one day, with the man I love.

Kaso, kay Pietho nangyari ang bagay na iyon at hindi sa akin. I wasn't Sebastian's bride. I was just a maid of honor. Maid of honor ng pinsan ko-ni Pietho. Masakit. Sobrang sakit na makita mong ikinakasal ang taong pinakamamahal mo simula pa noong una sa ibang babae. Pero hindi lang s'ya basta babae kundi pinsan mo na tinuring mo nang nakatatandang kapatid.

Pietho is one year older than me. While Seb is three years older. But it doesn't matter to me as long as I love him. Kaso pinili n'ya si Pietho. Ang tanging babaeng minahal n'ya. Samantalang parang anino lang ako as kaniya.

Ang sakit-sakit pala talaga. My heart was crying out loud, for all those dreams of happily ever after with Seb which is not happening to me, but with Pietho.

My heart skip a beat lalo na nang kunin na ni Seb si Pietho sa mga magulang nito. Parang tinusok ng libu-libong karayom ang puso ko when I saw love and joy in his eyes same with Pietho. Ang saya-saya nila sa isa't isa samantalang heto ako, parang binagsakan ng buong mundo sa pag-iisang dibdib nila.

I should be happy, but how? How could fate so cruel to me? Why do I need to feel this fucking love to Sebastian? And the hope that I always felt over and over again kung sa huli, hindi naman pala mangyayari ang mga pangarap na nabuo ko para sa aming dalawa ni Seb? Why? Deserve ko ba na masaktan ng ganito?

Sa sobrang sakit ay iniwas ko na lang ang tingin ko kina Seb at Pietho. Pero bago ko pa matuon ang pansin ko sa ibang direksyon ay nahagip ng tingin ko si Wade na nakatitig sa akin. He was always studying me, observing my actions. Iyon yata ang naging hobby n'ya simula nang ipakilala ako ni Seb sa kaniya. And that's the reason why it isn't impossible for him to notice my feelings towards my best friend, dahil sa bawat araw na nagkikita kami, at sa mga pagkakataon na iyon ay walang palya n'ya akong pinagmamasdan that seems like he was reading me, my heart, mind and soul.

I stared back at him which I regret. I saw sympathy and sadness in his eyes. And I know where the sympathy and sadness came from. I won't be surprise anymore if he really do pity me. Hindi ko nakayanang tingnan ang awa sa mga mata n'ya kaya nag-iwas na ako ng tingin dito. Kailan ba ako nanalo sa titigan naming dalawa? Sa lahat ng pagkakataong nasasalubong ko ang tingin n'ya ay ako palagi ang unang nag-iiwas.

"If anyone knows why this couple should not be united in holy matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold his peace..." rinig kong sabi ng Pari.

Silence filled the whole church for a while. When I accidentally turned my gaze to Wade, nag-aalangang tingin agad ang binigay nito sa akin. Ano na naman kaya ang iniisip ng taong ito?

"What?" I mouthed. My forehead creased as I avoided my gaze to him in annoyance.

What the hell is he thinking? That I'll stood up and say 'Itigil ang kasal'? The hell? Ano ba ang akala n'ya sa akin? Desperada? Tangina lang? Gaga ako minsan pero hindi ako deperada. The nerve of that man!

Nang mga sumunod na sandali ay wala na akong naintindihan, I am not aware of everything. I could hear Father talking but I don't understand what he was talking about. All I could think about was my heart which already bleeding in so much pain and the end of my dreams.

"By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride..."

My gaze turned back to Seb who is now wearing a light but I know the sweetest smile in his thin lips. And like the rest of the guests, I watched Seb and Pietho seal their vows with a kiss. And that kiss sealed my first and biggest official heartache as my heart continue to break piece by piece.

A bitter smile unconsciously formed on my lips.

There goes the man I love, married to another woman. Not just another woman, but to my cousin, my sister and he look so happy. Absolutely happy. While here I am, watching him with my broken heart.

I took a deep breath as I avoided my gaze at them, hindi ko sila kayang makitang masaya habang nandito ako, nagluluksa sa sakit. Isa isa nang lumapit at bumati ang mga bisita sa kanila bilang bagong kasal maliban sa akin. I choose to leave and didn't go near them. With the emotions I was in at this moment, wala akong lakas ng loob para batiin sila. Gagawin ko na lang siguro ang bagay na iyon sa hotel kung saan gaganapin ang reception. But for now, I had to compose myself first. I don't want to look like I had just been beaten up by life. Ayaw kong magmukhang kaawa-awa.