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A Blissful Grief
A Blissful Grief
Author: Suescritor

Kabanata 1

Author: Suescritor
last update Huling Na-update: 2024-10-29 19:42:56

Mula sa bintana ng aking kuwarto rito sa mansiyon ng mga Dilema, pinagmasdan ko ang pagsikat ng araw. I'm blessed to see another day and I will be forever grateful. Bawat segundo ay mahalaga dahil hindi natin alam kung kailan tayo mawawala. 

Footsteps slowly creaked on every step of the stairs. I heard the bedroom door handle turns slowly as he entered. Naramdaman ko ang mga mabibigat niyang hakbang papalapit sa puwesto ko. I tried to hold back the smile on my face when I felt his arms wrapped around me from the back but I failed. 

“Hey!” asik ko.

He chuckled softly, “You okay?”

“Of course!”

I tilted my head when he placed his chin on my shoulder. “Uhuh. How about jet lag?”

Umiling lang ako. I'm just fine. I'm feeling better after the flight yesterday. Hindi naman gano'n katagal bago ako nakarating dito sa Pilipinas.

I heard him sighed. Sabay naming pinagmasdan ang pagsikat ng araw. I know he's worried but I'm totally fine. Alam kong mas sasaya ako rito kaysa sa ibang bansa.

“Let's go downstairs, brat,” aniya matapos ang sandaling katahimikan. 

Humiwalay siya sa pagkakayap at pinagmasdan ako dahilan para mapanguso ako.

Napasuklay ako sa buhok bago siya sinamaan ng tingin. 

“Stop that stare, Chance Lucky!”

“You looked great, huh? Puwede nang pag tiyagaan.”

“Seriously?” I glared at him. 

He smirked. “Practice your glare first para naman magmukhang nakakatakot.” Tumawa siya. “Kidding.”

Napa-halukipkip ako at ngumisi. “Kaya walang nagkakagusto sa'yo eh. You're mean and... boring,” pang-aasar ko.

His face became serious. Salubong ang makakapal na kilay at tumiim ang perpekto niyang panga. Nabura ang ngisi ko sa labi at napaiwas nang tingin.

Patay. Ginalit ko yata.

“I already have someone here to babysit, not a girlfriend to chase.”

My cheeks heated. He always loves teasing me. Kahit seryoso ang mukha niya nakakaya niya pa ring magbiro. 

I pouted. “You're mean.”

“And you're a brat.” He pinched my cheeks. “Let's go.”

He put his hands on my shoulders as we walk towards the dining area. He always has this attitude kapag magkasama kami. He's clingy and I love it because I always felt safe with his actions.

The sound of laughter coming from the dining area was slightly deafening. Hindi ko alam kung ano pinag-uusapan nila but it seems that they are enjoying it as of the moment.

The smile on their faces disappears the moment we entered. Napatingin sila sa amin, probably...sa akin. 

“Goodmorning po!” I greeted, happily. 

Wala akong nakuhang sagot na ipinagkibit-balikat ko nalang dahil sanay na ako. 

Sumulyap ako kay tita Loren. “Welcome home po, Tita!”

She smiled, “Likewise.”

They are sitting at the long dining table. Nandito 'yong mga tita ko ngayon. Maybe they will be going to talk about an important matter. Am I belong? 

I kissed Granny's cheek before sitting beside her. Kumuha na ako ng pagkain at nilagay sa plato ko. Nana Rina immediately pours juice on my glass. Napatingin ako sa kaniya, nangunot ang noo nang mapagtantong matanda na pala siya pero nandito pa rin para magtrabaho. 

Napansin kong nanginginig ang kamay niya kaya hinawakan ko iyon at napapitlag siya dahilan para matapon ang sinasalin niyang juice sa damit ko. Nagulat ako dahil sa lamig na tumama.

“Pasensya na, Señorita. H-Hindi ko sinasadya,” she stammered, pinunasan niya ang damit ko gamit ang kamay niya.

“No. It's okay po.” I flashed a gentle smile. “No need to worr--”

My words got cut by Aunt Vicky's sudden talk.

“Ano ba 'yan! Better fire her, Mamà. Matanda na rin naman kaya dapat namamahinga na siya. Baka makaperwisyo pa 'yan dito,” she said, irritatedly.

Nakaramdam ako nang awa kay Nana dahil sa inasal ni Tita. Is that right to insult her? I face the maid who's on the verge of crying.

“Okay lang po 'yon, Nana. I'm fine oh, look. Juice lang 'to kaya keri lang hehe. You should go now and fix yourself too.”

Tumango lang ito bago dahan-dahang naglakad patungo sa kusina.

I looked at tita Vicky's side and she just leered at me. Napanguso ako sa ginawa niya. 

“We're just starting but you already ruined our moment, Fortunate. What a bad luck,” Tita Eunice said in a disappointed manner. Not knowing that she's hurting me with her words.

It hurts knowing that they see me as bad luck. Alam kong ayaw nila sa akin. Minsan kailangan nating magising sa katotohanang hindi lahat ng tao magugustuhan ka. 

“That's enough,” kuya Lucky said, sternly.

His forehead wrinkled while looking down on his plate. I sighed.

“Why are we here, Mamà? Ano ba ang pag-uusapan?”

Malumanay na tanong ni tita Loren. Siya 'yong pinaka kalmado sa kanilang magkakapatid. Hindi niya ako kailanman inapi katulad ng mga kapatid niya.

Granny wipes her lips before speaking. She looks strict as always.

“From now on, dito na titira si Fortunate. Your kuya Rio sent her here because he's too busy with their business. So all of you, be nice to her,” she warned. 

Napatigil sila sa pagsubo at napataas ang kilay ng iba. I glanced at kuya Lucky and he's quiet. 

“What?” Hindi makapaniwalang tumawa si tita Vicky. “Mamà naman! Ang tanda na niyan para asikasuhin ng magulang o ng kahit sino rito sa pamilya. How old is she? 21? 22?”

“20 palang po, tita,” pagtatama ko.

Nasa tamang edad na ako pero kung makapagsalita si Granny parang 12 years old palang ako.  

“See? She's already 20 years old, Mamà. My daughter at that age could stand alone. Dapat gano'n ka rin, Fortunate. Act your age. Hindi ka na bata para maging pabigat,” singit ni tita Eunice. 

There... she said it. Nasabi niya rin ang nais iparating. Heto na naman siya sa pagkukumpara sa akin sa anak niya, sa ibang tao. Nakakasawang mabuhay na naayon sa gusto nila. Na dapat ganito ka, kailangan mong gawin 'to, kailangan mong magaling sa lahat ng bagay!   

Lagi silang ganito sa akin. I don't know why. I couldn't remember I did something wrong to them. 

Napatingin si kuya Lucky sa kaniya. His jaw clenched.

“Stop it, mom,” kuya said. “Please. Anak siya ng kapatid mo pero kung ituring mo siya parang hindi mo kadugo. What's wrong with you? Titira lang siya rito at hindi naman siguro siya makakaabala sa inyong lahat. You are all mean,” salubong ang kilay na sabi ni kuya Lucky.

I saw his fist clenched tightly over the table. 

Nanlaki ang mata ni tita Vicky sa sinabi ng anak niya. Shock and disappointment were written all over her face.

“So you have the guts to disrespect me now because of that woman, huh? I am your mother baka makakalimutan mo, Chance Lucky!”

“Mom, sinasabi ko lang na wag naman kayong ganiyan sa pinsan ko. She's also your niece kaya sana naman wag niyo siyang pag-initan,” kalmadong turan niya.

Her forehead wrinkled. “At sinong nagbigay sa'yo ng karapatan para pagsabihan ako kung anong dapat gawin? Anak lang kita--”

Isang malakas na hampas mula kay Granny ang nagpatigil kay tita Vicky. I flinched a bit because of that.

Napatingin ako sa baba. Nangingilid ang luha ko but I remained strong. I convinced myself that tita didn't mean to say those words. Napatingin ako sa pagkain sa harap. Hindi ko pa pala nababawasan ang kinuha ko kanina. Nawalan na ako nang gana. Napabuntong hininga ako at nanlamya. 

“My decision is final whether you like it or not. Kung hindi kayo sumasang-ayon, umalis kayo sa harap ko ngayon din,” Granny said with finality.

Wala silang nagawang lahat. Napailing nalang si tita Loren. Tita Vicky and tita Eunice give me a death glare. I looked away from them and stared at my plate. 

“Anyway, how're your studies, Fortunate? What's your plan?” Granny asked.

Napaangat ako nang tingin. I sigh before answering her. 

“I- I'm planning to take upon BS in tourism management po, Granny,” I said, nervously. 

Nanlamig ang mga kamay ko. I know they are all professional now at parang napakababaw at napakadali lang ng akin kompara sa kurso nila on where they are successful at.

“Really? How can you be successful with that unacceptable course, Agony?” Tita Vicky interfered. I frown at her.

Unacceptable course? 

“I mean what's your reason for pursuing that? Specifically,” she explains while rising a brow.

“I- I want to be a FA po.”

“Flight Attendant? Is that your dream hija?” Granny asked. 

I'm about to say yes but tita Eunice interrupts.

“Oh come, Agony. Hindi ka naman siguro ganiyan kababaw. There are so many different courses you can pursue. Dream high, dear. Being a flight attendant is not that good. Anyone can have that since it was easy and boring. You can be a lawyer, like me.”

Boring? Is that how shallow they are? Nakakadismaya man ang pamilyang meron ako, pero iyon ang totoo.

“Or you can be a doctor too. Aim to have a professional degree, dear. This family was known for being powerful and successful. You will be a shame on us so please don't you dare oppose,” Tita Vicky uttered.

“P-Pero iyon po ang pangarap mo simula pa noon. Being a flight attendant is not a shame po.” I sighed. “Nasubukan niyo na po ba ang lahat ng kurso kung makapagsalita kayo ng ganiyan? Sabihin na po nating mahirap at mataas ang naabot niyong lahat pero hindi po iyon dahilan para maliitin niyo ang pangarap at kakayahan ng iba. Hindi niyo po naranasan ang paghihirap ng mga taong minamaliit niyo. I will do what I want as long as it will not affect badly on someone's life. Wala naman pong mali ro'n,” I said with conviction.

My heart ached with so much hope and desire. 

Minsan hindi natin kailangan sumigaw para manalo o may patunayan sa isang argumento, supalpalin mo lang sila ng mga salitang tatatak sa isip nila... with calmness and respect. 

I saw her gritted her teeth. What's wrong with her? Nagsasabi lang naman ako.

Napatingin si tita Loren sa kapatid. “She's right, ate. Just let her pursue-” 

“No! You are just proving to us that you're not deserving to be part of this family!“ she said while pointing a finger at me. 

Mapapansin ang pagkapahiya sa kaniyang kilos at mukha. 

“Marunong ka na ring sumagot-sagot. What a disrespectful brat. I can't believe this!” 

She rudely gets up on her seat and leaves the dining area. Tita Eunice leered at me before following her.

Si tita Loren nalang ang natira sa magkakapatid. She shook her head in disappointment. Lumapit siya sa akin at tinapik ang balikat ko.

“You were right. I believe in you. Break a leg, Fortunate,” she mumbled, before going away.

Tears rolled down my cheeks unexpectedly. At least someone believed in me. That gives me hope and strength to keep going. I wiped my tears.

I stood up from my seat. Nakita ko ang paninitig ni Nana Rina. I saw pity in her eyes. I smiled at her weakly. 

I looked at granny. Her eyes were soft. 

“Don't mind them, apo. You can rest for a while. Be ready for your college application. Your kuya Lucky will accompany you. I'll go ahead.” 

Tumayo siya at lumapit sa'kin. Hinalikan niya muna ako sa noo bago umalis. 

Kuya Lucky also walked towards me. Worries filled his eyes.

“Are you okay, brat?”

Tumango ako at yumakap sa kaniya. He hugged me back tightly. He kissed my head bago kumalas sa pagkakayakap sa'kin. 

“I have something to show you. Is that okay?”

“Ano 'yon, kuya?” I weakly asked. Umaga palang pero nakakapagod na. 

“Interested huh? I won't tell you. Come on, Fortunate. We're going somewhere.”

He walks towards the garage of the mansion. Nakanguso akong sumunod sa kaniya at makupad na naglakad. I saw him leaning with the limited edition Bugatti Veyron. He looks bored while waiting for me. 

“You're so mabagal. Pagong ka ba?” he teased.

Napairap nalang ako nang palihim at 'di pinansin ang sinabi niya.

“Oh! Nice car, huh. Where did you steal this?” I teased him back.

“Shut up.”

Sungit.

I laughed at his reaction. He ignored me and open the door in the front seat.

”Tsk. Pasok.”

“This is kidnapping sir.”

Napailing lang siya sa sinabi ko. Mukhang nawawalan na nang pasensya.

“Seatbelt.” Lumapit siya at isinuot iyon sa'kin. Napangiti ako at hinalikan siya pisngi. “Thank you!”

Kuya Lucky started driving bound to nowhere. Hindi ko alam kung saan kami pupunta. Nakalimutan ko na rin ang pagod at lungkot mula sa pangyayari kanina. Thanks to this man.

Sitting comfortably, I crossed my legs and stared outside the car's window. I saw some homeless people asking for money and food outside from the people passing by. May mga nagbigay, merong hindi at ang iba hindi namansin.

Just by witnessing that scene, I realized how lucky and blessed I am for having this kind of life. Nakakakain nang tatlong beses or higit pa sa isang araw, at may magandang tirahan.

I looked away from them and closed my eyes tightly. Maybe, my problems are too shallow compared to them. My heart throbbed with pain and a tear escaped from my eye. I immediately wiped it. My tears won't help at all. Pero babalikan ko sila balang araw, tutulungan ko sila.

Napamulat ako nang tumigil ang sasakyan.

“We're here.”

Kuya Lucky went outside the car and open the door for me. I stepped outside and noticed the condominium building.

“Ano gagawin natin dito, Kuya? Wag mong sabihin na may binabahay ka na rito nang 'di namin alam?”

His eyes narrowed. Nagbabanta. I laughed awkwardly. 

“Kidding! Tara na excited na akong makita 'yong sinasabi mo.”

Nauna na akong maglakad sa kaniya kahit 'di ko alam kung saan kami pupunta. He's annoyed with me. Baka iwan niya nalang ako bigla rito. 

Huminto rin ako at hinintay nalang siya. He stopped on the elevator's side and I followed him. 

Pumasok kami roon. May nakasabay kaming dalawang babae. Napatingin sila kay kuya Lucky. Napakunot-noo ako dahil doon. Nandito rin naman ako pero kay kuya lang nakatingin itong mga 'to. 

Kuya Lucky put his hands on my shoulders. Napatingin sila sa'kin but I ignored them.

I heard them whispered.

“May jowa, be. Sayang.”

“Maghihiwalay din 'yan. Magloloko ang lalaki at makakahanap ng iba. Ganiyan naman sila 'di ba? Sa una lang magaling.” 

I mentally laughed and pouted. Bitterness filled the surrounding, huh.

Huminto kami sa fifth floor. He guides me towards the door.

“Ano gagawin natin dito?” I asked with curiosity. Parang kanina pa ako tanong nang tanong. 

“Just open the door and you will know.” Sabay abot ng key card. 

Napatingin naman ako roon bago lumapit. I swiped the key card at dahan-dahang pumasok. Gusto kong tumalon-talon sa tuwa dahil sa nakita.

Kaugnay na kabanata

  • A Blissful Grief   Kabanata 2

    “Do you like it?” tanong niya habang nakangisi. Hindi ako makapaniwalang humarap sa kaniya. He's still smirking while watching my reaction. Hindi ko mapigilang hindi magduda dahil sa ngising nakapaskil sa labi niya. “P-Para sa'kin 't-to?” Pinagmasdan ko siyang mabuti at nanliit ang mga mata ko. “No. Maybe you were just pranking me.” His face turned serious. “This is for you, brat. Ayaw mo?” Unti-unting gumuhit ang ngiti sa labi ko. Muli kong iginala ang paningin sa loob. I want to scream with happiness because he surprised me with my dream music room. I love singing ever since kaya gustong gusto ko magkaroon ng ganito but my mother doesn't want me to have one. Music instruments were already complete and everything was fitted inside. Using white, black, and gray colors on the walls is a good thing paired with wooden flooring. Instead of a plain ceiling, different l

  • A Blissful Grief   Kabanata 3

    God knows how happy I am because of Hope's come back. I will not be alone again every time Kuya Lucky leaves out of the country. Nandito kami ngayon sa condo. Lumipat agad ako kahapon. Ako lang sana ang pupunta rito pero nagpumilit si Hope na sumama. She even threatened her witch mother that she will never come to their house if she will disagree. I can't believe her guts for doing it. Baliw na conyo. We decided to apply the other day instead of doing it today. Magpapahinga raw muna kami rito. “Gosh! I'm so pagod na,” she mumbled before lying on the bed. Tumingin ako sa kaniya habang kinukuha ang mga gamit ko sa maleta. “You can sleep now if you want. Wala ka naman na sigurong gagawin.” I glanced at the wall clock. It's already 9:00 pm. Nakaramdam na rin ako nang antok. “Not yet. I want to kausap you pa.” She yawned.

  • A Blissful Grief   Kabanata 4

    3 weeks after that day, hindi na kami muling nagkita ni Console. Sa tuwing umaalis si Hope hindi muna ako sumasama dahil alam kong nakabantay siya. I just want to distance myself from him during that weeks. For the past weeks, I realized that life is short so we need to take every chance to make everything possible. Napagdesisyonan kong umamin kay Console ngayong araw. Kung mare-reject man ako, it's okay at least I took the chance to confess my feelings. Hindi ko na isinama si Hope dahil ang sarap nang tulog niya at ayoko siyang abalahin. It's already 10:00 am but she's still asleep. I'm wearing simple high waisted jeans with a matching fitted long sleeves crop top. Nagsuot lang ako ng rubber shoes. I want to look simple. Nasa labas na ako nang condominium at naghihintay ng taxi. Hindi ako gumamit ng kotse dahil hindi ako marunong magmaneho. While waiting, I look around and I saw a smal

  • A Blissful Grief   Kabanata 5

    Do you know the feeling when your crush invited you on a date or talked to you? Ganiyan ang nararamdam ko ngayon. I felt the butterflies in my stomach. Wala namang nakakakilig sa sinabi niya pero kinilig ako. Pero bakit ganito? Malamang kasi crush ko siya! Nanatili ako sa kinatatayuan ko at tinanaw sila papalapit. Leanna was smiling widely at me. I smiled back at her. Tumigil sila sa harapan ko. I brushed my hair because of nervousness. Mannerism ko 'to kapag kinakabahan ako o naiilang. “Y-You don't have to. Kaya k-ko naman na umuwi mag-isa. Baka pagod na rin si Leanna,” I said and gazed at her. Umiling ito. “Hindi po, Ate pretty. Ihahatid ka nalang po namin sa house niyo.” “Hindi puwedeng iwan ka namin dito ng walang kasama. Tara na. Malapit nang magdilim,” masungit niyang turan at nagsimulang maglakad. Napakagat-labi ako upang pigilin ang ngiti. He cares for me.

  • A Blissful Grief   Kabanata 6

    Nabura ang ngiti ko sa narinig. He still calls me 'Miss' so it's all about his work only? I felt my heart ached. Oo nga pala, isa siyang bodyguard ng mga Dela Serna. He is professional when it comes to his work. Trabaho niya lang ako. Para akong natauhan. Hindi ko dapat lagyan ng meaning ang mga kilos niya. Kung tutuusin si Hope lang dapat ang binabantayan niya. He shouldn't have saved me. Hindi niya dapat ginagawa 'to. I'm just a burden to him. “U-Uhm, kahit wag na. I can handle myself. Sige, papasok na ako,” I said before turning my back at him with a heavy feeling. Hindi na ako lumingon sa likod kung nasaan siya. From now on, I should learn how to be independent. Mahirap man pero makakaya ko rin. Balang araw maiiwan akong mag-isa at tatayo sa sariling mga paa. Siguro magta-taxi nalang ako mamaya. I don't want to be a burden to anyone... to him. Pumasok ak

  • A Blissful Grief   Kabanata 7

    I was walking with a smile on my face at the hallway of the university. Sobrang ganda ng araw ko ngayon dahil sa nangyari kagabi. Nasa gitna ako nang paglalakad nang makita si Console na nagmamadaling umalis. Napatigil ako nang may ideyang pumasok sa utak ko. I nibbled on my lower lip and walked towards his way. “Wait!” I called him. Tumigil siya sa paglalakad. “May trabaho ka mamaya 'di ba? Can I... Can I go with you? I j-just want to see the place you are working with.” Tuluyan siyang humarap sa akin na parang may mali sa sinabi ko. “Just go home, Miss. Masasayang lang ang oras mo do'n.” I pouted. “Please... promise I won't bother you there. Kakain nalang din ako then I will leave after. Our interaction yesterday was still vivid. He's kinda extra showy and sweet that night after th

  • A Blissful Grief   Kabanata 8

    Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. I became conscious about my voice even though I am good at singing. Nakakahiya pa rin kung siya ang kaharap ko. He's special! I shyly look at him. “A-Ah, puwede bang wag nalang? Hindi a-ako marunong,” palusot ko. “Ikaw nalang kaya. I wanna hear you sing.” Napakamot siya sa batok niya. I find him cute while doing it. Hindi ako sanay na gano'n siya umasta. I smiled unknowingly with his gestures. Tumigil siya sa pagkamot bago umayos ng upo. He started strumming the guitar again. “Woah, ohh. She's staring at me, I'm sitting wondering what she's thinking...” Nagsimula siyang kumanta habang nakatitig sa akin. My mouth parted upon hearing him sing. I can't believe he's good at this too! Napakalamig ng boses niya. It makes me want to sleep. Para akong hinihele. Bagay talaga kami!

  • A Blissful Grief   Kabanata 9

    I woke up upon hearing someone's giggles. Napakunot-noo ako nang makarinig nang pagtakbo sa labas ng kuwarto. Pupungas-pungas na bumangon ako mula sa pagkakahiga at naglakad patungo sa pinto with slightly closed eyes. Natigil ang paghikab ko nang makita ang ginagawa ni Hope. She's busy spreading salt on his brother's face while silently giggling. Hindi niya pa ako napapansin kasi abala siya sa ginagawa. “W-What are you doing, Hope?” tanong ko na nakapagpaigtad sa kaniya. She suddenly turned around to face me. I'm about to speak but she hushed me using her finger. “Shh.” She runs towards her room loudly. My forehead wrinkled because of her moves. Akala ko ba tahimik lang dapat pero ba't ang ingay niya tumakbo? Bumalik siya with a camera in her hand. She placed it above the table where it hard to be seen. She ma

Pinakabagong kabanata

  • A Blissful Grief   Kabanata 39

    Napahigpit ang paghawak ko sa papel dahilan para makusot iyon. Sa bawat letrang nadadaanan ng aking mga mata, sumisikip ang dibdib ko.Dear brat,It's been a while since we saw each other. Matagal-tagal na rin pala bago tayo noong huli tayong nagkasama. And it's okay because you are doing fine. I'm so proud of you.Gusto ko lang malaman mo na hindi ako nagsisisi sa ginawa ko. You deserve to live, you deserve my heart.Ingatan mo ang puso ni Kuya, ha? I gave that to you because you deserve it. Karapat-dapat kang mabuhay. Marami ka pang gagawin sa mundo. You still have a long way to go. Kasabay nang pag-iingat mo sa puso ko ay ang pag-iingat sa sarili mo.You have done much, brat. Iniwan na kita dahil kaya mo nang mag-isa. I'm immensely grateful that you already know how to stand alone. And I'm so proud of you.Walang ibang

  • A Blissful Grief   Kabanata 38

    Tulala akong nakatitig sa kawalan habang binabantayan si Hope sa hospital. Isinugod siya nang umatake ang sakit niya habang nag-uusap kami sa tabi ng dalampasigan.Akala ko masaya na ang buhay ko. Akala ko okay na ako.I couldn't even process the information gathered. Hindi ko lubos maisip na wala na ang taong gabi-gabi kong pinagdarasal na muling makita.Ang daya mo, Kuya! Ang daya-daya mo!Napayuko ako at tahimik na napaluha. Namamaga na ang mga mata ko sa kakaiyak.“Excuse me. Ikaw ba ang kamag-anak ng pasyente?”Napalingon ako nang magsalita ang doktor. Mabilis akong tumayo at tumango.“Ako nga po. K-Kumusta na po siya, Doc?”He sighed.“She's fine for now but she needs to undergo chemotherapy. Kumakalat na ang leukemia ce

  • A Blissful Grief   Kabanata 37

    “Kumusta ka na? Halos dalawang taon ka ring wala,” panimula niya.She's looking down at the sea. Walang emosyon ang kaniyang mukha.“I'm doing good. Higit na mas masaya ang buhay ko kumpara noon,” ani ko. Nanatili akong nakatitig sa kaniya.She slowly gazed at me. “Nagsisisi ka ba sa naging buhay mo noon?”Agad akong napailing.“Hindi. Ang buhay ko dati ay parte ng buhay na mayroon ako ngayon. That life gave me a wonderful lessons that was deeply buried in my heart.” Bahagya akong napangiti. “How about you?”Kahit hindi niya sagutin, alam kong masaya na ang buhay niya. She's living in a perfect with him.“Kung iniisip mong masaya ang buhay ko, nagkakamali ka. After the incident, my life became worse.” Pagak siyang tumawa.

  • A Blissful Grief   Kabanata 36

    I lied... I lied about everything I said to him. Those words were just a cover up to my pain.Sinabi ko ang mga salitang iyon nang masaya pero durog na durog ako sa loob. My heart was aching painfully to the point that I just want to stop it from beating to suppressed myself from feeling the pain.Above all, I didn't regret saying those words. Hindi ko pinagsisihan ang ginawa ko dahil alam kong masaya na siya ngayon. It's for him afterall.“Good morning ladies and gentlemen. It is my pleasure to welcome you aboard on behalf of Trinity Airlines with service to Milan, Italy with continuing service to our destination, Philippines,” I announced.This is my last flight for the month. Sa susunod na buwan ay magli-leave ako. Nakakapagod din pala kung sunod-sunod ang flight.“Foodtrip tayo pagdating sa Pilipinas! Nakakamiss iyong street foo

  • A Blissful Grief   Kabanata 35

    Nagsimulang mamuo ang galit sa puso ko. Halos mandilim ang paningin ko nang makita kung paano yakapin ng lalaki ang pinsan ko.Kaya pala hindi niya ako pinuntahan kasi abala siya sa ibang babae.Mabilis akong naglakad papalapit sa kanila. My breathing hitched. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso dala nang matinding galit at panibugho. Para akong papatay sa klase nang nararamdaman ko. Noon pa man ay labis na akong nasasaktan sa tuwing nakikita silang magkasama.Hindi nila napansin ang paglapit ko dahil abala sila sa yakapan.Ang nanginginig kong kamay ay mabilis na hinablot ang buhok ng pinsan. Napasigaw siya sa sakit at napahiwalay nang yakap kay Rius.“Malandi ka!” nanggagalaiting sigaw ko.Muli siyang napasigaw nang higpitan ko ang pagkakahawak sa buhok niya. Halos hindi ko na makilala ang sarili. Pakiramdam ko ay hindi

  • A Blissful Grief   Kabanata 34

    “Do you need something? Or do you already want to sleep?”He was brushing my hair gently while I'm leaning on his chest. We're now here in his condo. Nagpaalam ako kay Mommy na rito ako matutulog ngayong gabi.“Hmmm, nothing."Umalis ako sa pagkakasandal sa dibdib niya at humarap sa kaniya. I touched his cheeks with both of my palms and stared at his luscious lips. Nakaawang iyon at namumula. Napalunok ako bago inangat ang tingin sa kaniyang mata.I caught him staring at my lips as well. His jaw clenched and looked away from it. His Adam's apple protruded and cursed.“Kiss me,” I uttered.Hinawakan niya ang baywang ko at bahagya akong inilayo.“Stop it, Fortunate," mariing banta niya.Sa halip na makinig, hinawi ko ang kamay niya at muling l

  • A Blissful Grief   Kabanata 33

    Dahan-dahan kong pinihit ang pinto ng office ni Rius. I was about to speak when I saw something that made me stop. Napako ang mga paa ko sa kinatatayuan.Hope was hugging my cousin. Nakapulupot ang mga braso niya sa leeg nito habang nakahawak ang lalaki sa maliit niyang baywang.The scene was too romantic for a boss-employee relationship.I slowly stepped back and silently close the door to give them privacy. Kung war freak akong tao baka kanina ko pa sinabunutan ang pinsan dahil sa ginawang pagyakap sa fiancee ko... but thanks, God I'm not.May tiwala rin ako kay Rius at alam kong hindi niya ako magagawang lokohin. Magtitiwala ako dahil iyon ang hindi ko nagawa noong kami during college days.Dahil mamayang hapon ang flight ko, ilang oras pa akong mananatili rito kaya may time pa akong maglibot.Tinawagan ko si Haruto pero busy daw ito kompanya nila. Si Cassidy naman mamayang lunch pa raw makakapunta. Pan

  • A Blissful Grief   Kabanata 32

    After the scene at the airport, we decided to go to their house. Kami lang ang magkasama ni Rius dahil iniwan ko si Winslet kasama si Cassidy at Akiro.Sobrang saya ko sa unexpected proposal niya. Akala ko wala siyang balak na pakasalan ako because he was busy these past few days.“Nandiyan ba si Tito at Lucas ngayon?” I asked as we arrived in front of their house.Inalalayan niya akong bumaba sa sasakyan at agad na humawak sa baywang ko nang maglakad kami papasok. Nakangiti lang ako habang tinatahak ang daan sa bungad ng bahay nila.“Yeah. Are you excited to see them?” he asked.I nodded and smiled.Humigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sa baywang ko nang nasa tapat na kami ng pintuan.Bumukas ang main door nila at napasinghap ako nang makita ang loob no'n. It was a Spanish style

  • A Blissful Grief   Kabanata 31

    It's been a week since I accidentally heard their conversation. I don't know how to react after hearing that so I stayed in my room for the whole week to avoid interacting with Tita Loren. She tried to talk to me but I always say, “I'm not feeling well po, Tita. I will talk to you kapag okay na po ako” and she understands.Minsan nagi-guilty na ako sa ginagawa ko lalo na kapag nakikita ko ang malungkot niyang mukha.I sighed before going out of my room.“Good morning, Nana,” I said as I hugged her from the back.“Oh! Himala lumabas ka? Okay ka na ba?” Humarap siya sa akin at hinaplos ang buhok ko. I smiled cutely at her.“Nana, nasa'n po iyong anak niyo?” I whispered.Isang pinong kurot sa tagiliran ang natanggap ko mula

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