Chapter 14: Willa

I was pissed at Ferrin’s behavior, but I also felt a sense of satisfaction. My plan had only been to ingratiate myself to the guards so I could coax information out of them, maybe talk one of them into getting me a phone. While I was pretty sure that was out the window, I made sure that Ferrin knew I wasn’t going to make it easy for him.

But I was worried about Shawn. I didn’t want to get him, or any of the others, in trouble. I felt bad that I may have cost him his job. If I did, I would do whatever it took to make it right.

After I had calmed down and was sure that Ferrin had left, I went to the suite door and knocked. No one responded. I knocked again. Still nothing.

He had actually done it. He ordered them not to speak to me.

That son of a bitch.

Maybe I had let things go too far with that make-out session. But shit, I would be lying if I didn’t say it took way too much resolve to push him off me. I wanted to leave him frustrated and angry. To know that he couldn’t control or manipulate me. But I was so turned on I almost gave in completely. I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted to feel his hands, his mouth, his tongue everywhere. It was overwhelming. Panic was the only thing that gave me the strength to put an end to what was happening.

But now, the memory plagued my thoughts all day. I kept imagining what it would be like to be with him. I couldn’t let that happen. Our mate bond was already a distraction I couldn’t afford. I didn’t think there would be any turning back if we mated. Goddess forbid he marked me.

I struggled to focus on anything all day. I had too much pent-up energy to accomplish anything. I decided to try to get a workout in. I moved some furniture out of the way and started stretching. I would have much rather done some sparring practice, but that was out of the question. So, I worked with what I had and managed to get a decent workout in.

I was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, panting and sweating heavily, when the door opened. I pushed myself to my feet and moved directly toward the bathroom when Ferrin walked in. I wasn’t in any mood to deal with his antics.

He quickly moved to block my path.

“Willa, I’m sorry,” he said. I glared at him, and he sighed, lifting the bag that Shawn had brought that morning to hand to me. “Shawn said the books are from Adam. He hopes you like science fiction.”

I hesitated before taking the bag from his hands. I still didn’t have anything to say, so I just stared at him. I stood in front of him in a sports bra and leggings, the sweat on my skin cooling me as it began to dry. He took in my current state, desire flashing in his eyes. He quickly closed them, turning his head and taking a deep breath.

“We need to talk,” he said gently. “Please.”

He was trying. His apology was sincere. My mood softened. I nodded and pointed to the bathroom.

“Can I have a second, first?”

“Of course,” he said with a hopeful smile as he stepped aside.

I stepped into the bathroom and grabbed a hand towel. I was wiping myself down when I went back to follow Ferrin to the couch. We took our places on either side, and I waited for him to start.

“I’m sorry, Willa. I don’t want things to be this way. I want you to get to know my people. I want them to know you,” Ferrin stated.

I scoffed. “You do know locking me away neither helps accomplish nor supports that statement.”

“Yes, I know,” Ferrin insisted. “But there are complications.”

“Ferrin, I agreed to give you a chance to prove you weren’t involved with my mom’s death. I wasn’t staking out your territory so I could break in and just attack you. I planned on getting a job that would allow me to find evidence first. I need more answers, too,” I said. “I’m not going to do anything without proof.”

“I know,” Ferrin rushed. “This isn’t just about you crossing our borders or your mother.” He moved closer to me, leaning over and grabbing my hand. “There is a prophecy about my family’s reign.”

“Prophecy?”

He nodded. “It says that a female alpha will ascend and cause the destruction of me and my kingdom. You’re the only female alpha we’ve found.”

I pulled my hand from his and stood up. My heart racing as I moved away from him. “So, you’ve been searching for female alphas. To do what? Stop them from taking your throne? You’re only giving me more reason to believe you went after my mother. She was a female alpha. One who was making progress in Avilvale. A female alpha that reached out to YOU.”   

“No, Willa.” He stood to follow me but stopped when I retreated further. “The prophecy wasn’t made until three years after your mother’s death. There was no reason for me to suspect she wanted anything other than peace.”

“Fine, but that still means you still think I’m a threat. So I’m just sitting here waiting for you to figure out how to kill me,” I stated.

“No…”

“This fated mate situation must have really ruined your plans. That’s the information you were talking about. You were trying to figure out how to get rid of me without hurting yourself,” I yelled.

The bond between fated mates was intense. If one died, the other would be weakened. For someone to kill their own mate would be excruciating and dangerous. It’s why I hadn’t tried to reject him and why I’d never accept his while I was still trapped up here with no escape. The bond was the only thing keeping me alive. I felt tears sting my eyes as my chest burned with the pain of being unwanted. Of being disposable.

Ferrin looked horrified at my words.

“No, Willa, that’s not what I’m saying. Yes, you being my mate has made things more complicated, but not because I want you dead. Please,” he pleaded, taking steps toward me, “I need you to listen.”

“Why?” I said, tears rolling down my face. “Either you kill me, or I kill you. Seems pretty futile to me, Ferrin. Neither of us wanted this anyway.”

He advanced at me. “I want you, Willa,” he growled, gripping my face with his hands. “I want you more than anything. I swear to the goddess, I want us. But that’s what puts you in danger.”

I was looking into his eyes. He wasn’t lying, but I still didn’t understand either what he meant or what I was feeling. He rested his forehead on mine.

“I don’t rule alone, Willa. The council has as much power as I do. If I reveal who you are, once they know you are the one from the prophecy, it will be a fight for your life.” He pulled back a little, brushing the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs. “Being my mate means you don’t have to be the one to kill me to fulfill the prophecy. If we are mated and marked, if I ever… There are so many ways they could use you to get to me. I won’t let you die because of who I am.”

“If you ever what?” I asked. It was like he didn’t want to say it, but I knew it was important. His brows furrowed at my question, but he didn’t speak. “If you ever what, Ferrin?”

“If I turned you,” he said.

“If you what?” I stepped back. He wasn’t saying what I thought he was. He couldn’t be.

“If I turned you, Willa. The prophecy states a female alpha will ascend. An ascension means to turn a werewolf into a lycan.”

“But that’s a myth. That’s not possible.”

“It is,” Ferrin said. “It hasn’t happened in a very long time, but it is possible. Only certain bloodlines have the capability, including mine.”

I shook my head. “Well, there’s your answer.” I began pacing. “Either I’m not the one from the prophecy, or it will never be fulfilled because I will never let you turn me. I don’t want to be a lycan.”

Ferrin grabbed me and pulled me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me. “Shh,” he soothed, holding me tightly. A purring sound reverberated from his chest, calming my anxious nerves. “I don’t want to turn you either, Willa. Even if you did want that. The process is extremely dangerous, with no guarantee of success. I would never risk that.”

I slipped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. I breathed in his scent, letting it sink in, calming the hurricane inside me. I shouldn’t have. He was right. Everything was so complicated. I felt his lips on my head. His fingers drew circles on my back, sending the tingles that were growing more familiar through every inch he touched. The tension slowly eased from my body.

“I’ve told your guards who you are. Who you are to me. Hopefully, it will make things easier.”

I pulled back and looked up at him. “What do you mean?”

He kissed my forehead and pulled me back into his arms. “You’re my mate. Now they know they aren’t guarding a prisoner. They are protecting their future Luna. And they’ll do it with their lives if need be.”

“So you did tell them I was a prisoner,” I said, not ready to acknowledge the part about being a Luna.

Ferrin chuckled softly. “No, but between the restrictions and secrecy and finding out you’re an alpha, they made their own assumptions. It will be different now.”

“And Shawn?” I asked, remembering how I may have cost him his job.

He sighed. “He’ll be back tomorrow morning. I already apologized to him.”

I tightened my arms around him, grateful I hadn’t messed things up with my protectors. Ferrin continued to rub along my back, resting his cheek on my head, holding me firmly to him. I could hear his heartbeat against my ear. It was steady and relaxed. As if holding me gave him as much relief as it did me. I had lost track of how long we stood like that when he groaned, lifting his head with a sigh. I looked up at him.

“Damen needs to see me,” he informed me. He brushed my hair back from my face and leaned in, kissing me gently. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”