Chapter 17: Willa

I was laughing as I wiggled against his grip. Then our eyes met and we both sobered up. Both realizing the intimate position we were in. My breath hitched in anticipation, wondering what he would do next. Knowing what I wanted him to do while acknowledging that I shouldn’t.

But I was finding it hard to care.

This had been one of the best nights of my life.

Then it happened. His lips were on mine in a fevered kiss which quickly deepened as we reveled in the taste of one another. Ferrin’s fingers intertwined with mine, holding both my hands with one of his. The other slipped down my side all the way to my thigh, catching the back of my knee to lift it up and around his waist. His mouth moved to my neck, licking and nipping along my skin. His hand traveled back up, slipping under my shirt, sending electricity straight to my core as he brushed against my bare skin.

He palmed my breast, and I moaned as he tweaked my nipple through the fabric of my bra. I felt my abs clench as the need between my thighs grew stronger, aided by the feeling of Ferrin’s hard length pressed between my legs. I arched my back, pressing harder against him, needing more contact.

A growl reverberated from Ferrin’s chest in response to my actions. He pulled the buttons loose on my shirt in one quick motion, yanking it out of his way so he could free my breasts from their confines. He immediately took one in his mouth while he continued to attend to the other with his hand. I groaned, biting my lip as the ache started to become painful.

“Ferrin,” I gasped.

He moved his lips to the other breast. His hand slipped down between us, flicking the button of my shorts open with ease. He lifted up, pulling away from me just a little.

“Tell me to stop, Willa,” he gasped out, coming back up to take my lips in another kiss. “I can’t unless you tell me to stop.”

“No. Don’t stop.”

He growled as he took my mouth again, his hand plunging under the waistband of my shorts and panties. I moaned loudly as his fingers found my clit, working rough, steady circles that had me writhing beneath him. He slipped a finger inside my slick entrance, quickly followed by another.

“Fuck, Willa,” Ferrin panted against my shoulder.

He began moving his fingers in and out of me, curling his fingers against my g-spot as he thrust, his thumb still working my clit. I cried out as the onslaught of sensations coursed through me, bringing me closer to my release. I felt my core tighten around his fingers as I approached the edge.

“That’s my girl,” Ferrin breathed into my ear, nipping at its flesh with his teeth. “Come for me, Willa.”

He quickened his pace, pushing me faster to my climax. In a rush, I came crashing down. My body trembling with the spasms of my orgasm. Ferrin’s mouth landed on mine, swallowing my cries of pleasure as I came apart around him.

Ferrin removed his hand from my shorts as I came back to earth. I was trying to gather my thoughts as he whispered in my ear again.

“Goddess, Willa. That was the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.” He repositioned his weight, releasing my hands that he still had pinned.

I brought my hands down to his chest, meeting his gaze. He leaned into me, brushing his nose against mine, then along my cheek, gently nuzzling along my jaw.

“Are you okay?” he asked, a tinge of pain in his voice. “I’m sorry. I went too far.”

I grabbed his face in my hands and lifted it up. I kissed him hard. “No,” I whispered against his lips. “You didn’t.”

I continued the kiss, moving my hands down his chest, along the muscles of his abdomen, and around his back. I admired the feel of him beneath my fingers, against my body. I lifted my hips, grinding against him as my desire for more of him grew strong again. He groaned against my lips, returning the movement, thrusting his hips between us. I started to tug at his shirt, but the act seemed to rip him out of the moment.

He grabbed my hand, pulling away from me. His face was strained, his jaw clenched tightly, and his eyes flashed yellow as he worked to gain control of his lycan. With deep breaths, he rested his forehead against my chest.  

“We can’t, Willa,” he finally said. “I can’t. Not now. Not yet.”

I cupped his cheek, lifting his face to look at me. “Okay,” I said gently.

He snaked an arm around my back as he pressed his lips to mine, lifting me off the cushions. He dipped under my knees, laying my legs over his lap as he sat us upright on the sofa again. Keeping his hold on me, he brushed my hair from my face, tucking it behind my ear.

“I want you to trust me, Willa,” he said. “Before we go any farther. I need you to trust me. Once we’re mated, there’s no going back for me, Willa. Marked or not, there’s no getting rid of me.”

His tone was playful but still serious. And he was right. Despite getting carried away like I did, deep down, I still couldn’t let myself trust him. Not completely, anyway. It was an odd feeling. Somehow, I knew I could trust him with my life. I believed he would protect me. And while I wanted so much to believe he wasn’t involved in my mother’s assassination, I couldn’t bring myself to take him at his word. Not yet. I needed more answers first.

I nodded with a sigh, leaning against his chest. “And I suppose we should figure out this prophecy of yours, also. In the end, it sounds like we’re better off apart anyway.”

“No,” Ferrin said firmly. “That’s not going to happen. We know you’re not the threat now, Willa. That means the prophecy is a warning to both of us. A warning that someone else is working against us. Prophecies can be avoided.”

“If you truly believed any of that, you wouldn’t be waiting, Ferrin,” I said solemnly.

“Willa…”

“I’m not mad,” I stopped him, pressing a hand to his chest. “I’m not ready for more either. I’m saying I understand. You have too much to lose. You may want me to trust you before we solidify our bond, but you also need to trust me.”

His hand went to my face, lifting it to look at him.

“I do trust you, Willa,” he said.

I looked into his deep, piercing blue eyes and saw so many emotions. I shook my head. “No, you want to trust me. Just like I want to trust you. But there is something inside both of us that won’t let us. Something holding us back.”

He sighed, kissing my forehead as I laid my head on his shoulder. My fingers drew shapes along his chest.

“It’s okay, Ferrin. I mean, it’s not like I was just out taking a stroll when we met. We both know I wasn’t lost,” I teased.

“Oh, yeah. I know,” he taunted back.

His fingers continued to stroke my hair as I lay against him. We fit together like a puzzle. I let the feeling sink into me, letting myself become engrossed in the first thing in my life that just felt right in over thirteen years. I deserved this small, isolated moment of peace. And frankly, I would need the memory to keep me together.

I was glad he stopped us from going further. The more I came back to earth, the more I remembered I couldn’t stay. I needed to get home to take care of my dad and my friends. And as Ferrin said, it wasn’t safe for me here.

No, this little moment of peace would have to do.

Then, once I got out of here, we’d reject each other and go our separate ways. He would be safe from the prophecy, and I would be free to live my life as normal, hopefully, with some closure about my mother.

“I should get you to bed,” Ferrin whispered.

I blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall, hoping he didn’t notice. “Yeah,” I said, lifting my legs from his lap and standing up.

My pajamas were folded neatly on the chest at the foot of the bed. I moved to pick them up, but Ferrin stopped me. He stood behind me as his hands traveled up my arms, slipping around the collar of my shirt as he pulled it down my arms, dropping it on the chest next to my night clothes. He had ripped several of the buttons off earlier, making it unwearable.

He brushed my hair aside and unhooked my bra, sliding the straps off. Tingles erupted as his fingers traced the scars on my shoulder. I closed my eyes, swallowing as I anticipated the feel of his lips on my skin. Instead, a shirt was tugged over my head. I slipped my arms through the sleeves as Ferrin lifted my hair from the collar. I felt him bury his face in my curls, taking a deep breath as he slid my shorts from my hips, letting them drop to the floor.

He pushed me gently to the side of the bed, pulling the covers down before turning me to face him. He knelt down in front of me, gently lifting one foot and then the other, stepping them into the cotton shorts I slept in before pulling them up my legs.

I looked up at him as he stood before me. He had masked his emotions again. Somehow I liked it even less than the first day I was here. He leaned in and kissed me, backing me up until I was sitting on the bed.

“Good night, Willa,” he whispered. He turned to leave, but I grabbed his hand.

I didn’t know why I had stopped him at first. I was about to let him go when I realized I just needed my moment of peace to last a little longer. Just long enough to get me through the night. Then that would be enough.

“Stay with me,” I said gently. “Just until I fall asleep.”

He smiled down at me, cupping my cheek. “Of course.”

I scooted back onto the bed and snuggled under the covers, leaving room for Ferrin to slide in beside me. Once he was under the blankets, he pulled me against him, wrapping his arms around me as my back was pressed to his chest. I breathed in his scent, committing it to memory as I drifted off to sleep.