Chapter 41: Willa

Not long after Ferrin left, Miranda came in with a load of groceries to stock our little kitchen. She also gave me my phone. Apparently, one of the border guards found it in the woods where Ferrin “saved” me from the attack because it was ringing non-stop. Austin swung by and picked it up before heading back to the castle behind us.

It was dead by now, so I popped it on the charger before helping Miranda make some sandwiches. I convinced her to stay and eat with me, knowing she probably hadn’t taken a break all day.

“So, what are you going to do with your extra week of paid vacation,” I asked, moving on to my second sandwich after inhaling the first. I definitely must have been healing faster because I was starving.

Miranda laughed. “Ferrin said you insisted he gave me a raise. Although it was entirely unnecessary.”

“It was absolutely necessary. You have done so much for me since I got here,” I said bluntly, “and I can’t imagine this place would run a fraction as smoothly without you, and Ferrin agrees.”

Miranda blushed. “Well, it is always glad to hear that you are appreciated.”

“Good,” I said, glad that she was accepting the compliment. “So, what are you going to do with your vacation.”

“Dear girl, I wouldn’t know what to do with time off.”

“I could always arrange for someone to kidnap you and drop you in a luxury suite for a week. In my experience, that helps you find things to do real easy.” Our eyes locked for a moment before we both burst out laughing.

“I think I’ll just try to figure something out on my own,” Miranda said.

“Probably a good idea,” I concurred.

When we finished eating and Miranda had left, I turned my phone back on. I winced when I saw the number of missed texts and calls. I called Tawny immediately, apologizing profusely when she answered. I let her know I had lost my phone and filled her in on the basics of everything else, maybe fudging a little about how bad my leg was and how much the wolfsbane actually affected me. She gave the phone to a few others in our group so I could talk to them before we hung up a little over an hour later. I checked in with my dad after that, letting him know I made it and that everything went smoothly. Again, fudging things a bit. Thankfully, no one had mentioned my little plan to my dad.

Ferrin still wasn’t back yet when I got off the phone, but I was okay with that. I kind of wanted to explore the place a little on my own. It was still sinking in that this was supposed to be my new home. That I was actually living here now. Without Ferrin here, that felt weird to think about.

I smiled to myself at that thought. It’s because Ferrin was the one who made me feel at home. He was home to me. I wondered when that had happened.

I guess I hadn’t really kept him at arm’s length like I had told myself I would when he first brought me to the tower. Part of me wanted to be mad about that. Like I had given up too easily, and I was stronger than that. But it was such a small part now that I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the thought.

I took my time as I explored and examined each room in detail, imagining how Ferrin had passed the time there over the years. A few images of how we would spend our time there together in the future may have popped into my head as well. Especially when I got to his bedroom, and I ended up having to leave, giggling like a schoolgirl, before I needed to take a cold shower.

When I was finished, I wanted to see more of the castle, but I wasn’t sure if I could leave. Ferrin hadn’t said I needed to stay in the apartment. I chewed on my lip as I thought about going out to see the rest of the castle. In the end, I decided against it. I’d ask Ferrin how he felt about that when he got back. I understood that I was still in a precarious position, and I wanted him to know I was safe.

But I quickly started to wonder what I would do when I could finally move freely every day. I was actually excited about the project Ferrin had proposed to me, but I got the feeling it wasn’t meant to be a full-time commitment. What else does a Luna do?

I went back into Ferrin’s office. I remembered seeing a history section on the wall-to-ceiling bookshelves. There may be something about the role of a Luna in Whearhal.

I did find a couple of texts that seemed to discuss the topic and seemed interesting. I grabbed one and took it to the living room. I had been reading through it for a while when my stomach growled loudly. It had only been a few hours since lunch, but I knew my body was working hard to heal both my leg and recover from the effects of the poison. So I decided I’d cook us something for dinner. Hopefully, Ferrin would be back by the time I was done.

But just in case, I sent him a quick text message.

I had just finished draining the pasta and was stirring the sauce on the stove when I heard someone come in. I looked behind me to see Ferrin closing the door behind him.

“Hey, dinner’s almost ready,” I called over my shoulder. “I thought maybe we could eat out on the balcony. The sun’s going down soon, so it should be nice and cool out there.”

I felt his arms go around my middle and his face nuzzle into my hair. But he didn’t say anything.

“Hey,” I said gently, holding his arms around my waist, “everything okay?”

“Hmm,” was his only response.

Something was up. I turned off the burner on the stove and turned to face him. “What’s going on, Ferrin? Talk to me.”

With his hands on my waist, he turned me and lifted me up, setting me on the countertop before moving to stand between my legs. He leaned in and kissed me. It was gentle. Like he just needed to feel me there.

It hit me that I had been overlooking how hard all of this must have been on him, too. I know running a kingdom was anything but easy, despite how movies and television like to glamorize the role. But having to fight this hard just to be with his mate, he shouldn’t have to go through that. That should be the one thing that is always his choice.

He rested his forehead on mine, his eyes closed, his fingers tracing shapes along my waist. I reached up, running my fingers over his face, holding it between my palms, offering what comfort I could.

“Ferrin, would you like to have dinner with me?” I asked softly.

He chuckled quietly, pulling me into his arms. “I would like nothing more.”

He moved to allow me to slide off the counter. He grabbed plates from the cabinet so I could dish out the food. We did go out to the balcony to eat, as I had suggested, but I could tell there was still something hanging over him. So I tried to do the talking. When we were finished, I stood to take our dishes back to the kitchen, but Ferrin stopped me.

“Come here,” he said, taking my hand and pulling me to sit on his lap.

I sighed. “What happened, Ferrin?”

He shook his head with a sigh. “There is just a lot going on.”

“Why don’t we get ready for bed. Maybe watch a movie or something. Have some time to just decompress and not think about things for a while,” I said, combing my fingers through his hair. “I promise to behave myself.”

That got a smile from him. “That’s a pretty bold promise,” he teased.

“Hey, I don’t want you to break your promise,” I said lightly. “Besides, I think we both just need a casual, quiet night.”

“That does sound nice, but I actually have to go.”

“What?” I asked, confused.

“There are some things that need to be taken care of before the dinner. The guys and I would really like to get it handled as soon as possible. So we’re going to be working overnight,” Ferrin said.

“Do you want me to help?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “We’ve got it covered. But if that changes, you’ll be the first to know. But you get some rest tonight, okay?”

I didn’t know why, but I felt like he was keeping something from me. He had been so open about so much of what he needed to do when we weren’t together. Now he seemed to be giving vague responses. It put me on edge.

“Okay,” I said, noticing it came out a little shorter than I meant it to.

I got up from his lap and grabbed the dishes, making my way back inside. Ferrin wasn’t far behind me as I headed to the kitchen. I put the dishes on the counter and started to fill the sink to wash them. I searched through the cupboards for any containers for the leftovers. It didn’t take long to find one, and I started adding whatever food was left into the container. I could feel Ferrin’s eyes on me the whole time.

“Willa, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” I said, trying to keep my voice as light as possible when I turned to face him.

“I’m sorry I have to go. I know this is your first night here and…”

“Ferrin,” I said with a bitter laugh as I cut the water off, “if you need to work, you need to work.” I set the container in front of him on the island. “Here, there’s enough left for Damen and the others.”

He sighed, reaching up to caress my cheek. I squeezed his hand before removing it, holding his gaze intently.

“When you’re ready to tell me what’s going on, you know where to find me,” I said before retreating to my bedroom.