The Queen's General

{ Olina }

The pain of the rejection seeped into my bones like a poison. I’d never known this kind of sadness, and my royal blood wasn’t helping me now. It doesn’t matter where or who you are from, rejection feels the same. His eyes never left mine, they had settled into slits and I could hardly make out the flickering yellow that always sparkled in his irises.

“Accept it,” he told me, his voice hoarse as if he was fighting himself to get the words out and get this over with.

“You don’t want to do this, she is not who you think she is,” I find my voice speaking without even realizing it. I have to give him one more chance, the consequences of this effect more than just he and I.

His eyes open slightly more and I can see the anger boiling inside him now. I finally realize it is too late, and the same time I realize this, she steps up next to him with her smirk plastered on her face and I see it.

“It’s too late, accept it,” he says again. His eyes haven’t left mine but his arm snakes around her waist and she snuggles into his side.

“You marked her…” I say incredulously. I couldn’t believe it, I couldn’t believe that my mate, my Syn would do that. I’d known him since we were young, since I was 2 and sent to live in this pack. He never knew who I was really, he never knew that I knew who we were destined to be and have always known, unlike him who found out a year ago when he turned 18. He thinks I just found out last week on my birthday. But I’ve loved my mate since I was 2 years old. And this man, wasn’t him.

Before he can speak again I find the resolve to end this, the way he wants. “You’ve clearly chosen your path, I accept your rejection, Syn.”

As soon as the words flow from my mouth I turn on my heel and walk with my head up through the crowd that had gathered to watch the show. He hadn’t even had the decency to do this in private, he had made it a public affair, pun intended.

I walked straight through while everyone looked at me confused. From the grunts and pain behind me I realized that the rejection was finally working through Syn as our bond broke forever. It was already mostly gone for myself, I finally understood what the pain I had felt last night was. He had marked her. But now he was the one dealing with the pain, while the  nobody girl, daughter of the misfit, walked away head held high.

I was at my door within minutes and was surprised to see that my family was home. They must have known I would come here and unfortunately, I knew they wouldn't be filled with empathy.

“Stupid, stupid girl. He was the Alpha. He was our ticket out, and you hadn’t even been able to manage holding onto him,” Jod slurred. He hadn’t been drinking earlier but I guess he started once he got home and the stuff he drank worked fast. “I never should have taken you in, we’ve had nothing but trouble since then.”

I didn’t have words, so I nodded and walked up to my room numbly. My sister was following behind but I didn’t stop her, I knew she had something to say too.

“I’m sorry,” she said with the smallest tears escaping her eyes. I knew she truly was, she had been deceived just like everyone. And if she hadn’t have seen the truth with her own eyes, she would still be back at the packhouse celebrating the new Luna with everyone else.

“I know you are, but don’t hold onto it for long, be thankful to be one of the ones who knows the truth,” I told her as I pulled her in for a hug. She was 17, just under 2 months younger than me. She didn’t know the whole truth, she didn’t know that I knew who her mate was, and what her future held, and that she was truly a sister to me in ways she would not know for another 1.5 months. She simply knew the bits of truth she needed to know for now.

“She’s horrible. How can they not see that?” She said as she shook her head.

“Because she is good at what she does,” I replied with a wave of my hand.

“Are you going now?”

I paused where I was, my hand reaching for my closet knob as my heart reached out for my sister.

“Yes, I’m sorry, but its time,” I told her without turning around.

“Don’t apologize, I understand. I have a few things for you to take with,” she disappeared out the room into the hall and I heaved a deep sigh.

I returned to my closet and filled my bag in just a few minutes. I had been preparing to leave home already, but I had thought it would be to move in with my mate, not go back to where it all started.

“Here,” Lana said as she handed me a small bag filled with things. “To remember me by, and remind you of here. The good parts of here.”

“I will not need anything, I will always remember you. And I will be back before you know it,” I told her with as much honesty as I could without telling her the truth.

“I know,” She simply said as she leaned in and hugged me. Then she disappeared into her room. She didn’t ask me where I was going. She didn’t ask me why. She didn’t ask to come or anything. She just knew I couldn’t stay here. And I knew the next 1.5 months before I could hold her again would be difficult.

I waited until dark fell, and then I went out my window. Backpack on my back, I knew exactly where I’d be crossing the border. I found him there, as he always was during the week at this time.

“Oly?” his deep voice echoed off the trees as he registered my scent coming towards him.

“Hello, Preston.” I said with my voice remaining monotone.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked as he approached. I saw the moment that his eyes registered my backpack and seemed to understand.

“You know I should leave, so let me leave quietly. You want me gone as much as any of them.”

Preston had always hated me. Call it a gut instinct, but he always felt like I was hiding something and lying. The ironic part is, that he was right about me. But he can’t see the same traits in his now Luna.

I watched his eyes work over me once again, as he internally decided.

“Fine, but if anyone asks, which I doubt they will, I’ll deny letting you go,” he said as he stepped aside.

I couldn’t’ help the chuckle that left my lips as I took the 5 steps and crossed the border. As soon as I did, I was safe and heaved the breath I had been holding all evening. Preston and the other patrols could not come get me unless I Was under attack or attacking the pack. They could not cross outside of the territory without those conditions. So now, I was free of them.

“Like I care whether they care,” I muttered and I stopped a few steps outside of the territory for a moment.

“You’re gonna die you know, you’re useless, there’s no way you survive as a rogue. I guess that’s better for Syn anyway,” he spat at me.

“Do me a favor,” I said as I turned around calmly and looked him in the eyes. “When you realize who she is, and shit hits the fan and the entire pack goes to hell, tell Syn I said ‘I told you so’.”

He looked at me for a moment and then shook his head.

“And don’t worry about me, not that you would, I’ll be home and safe by mid day tomorrow.” I added.

“Home? You think there is home for you out there? No one will want you!”

“I haven’t been home in months now, I was trying to get used to it, as I was going to be able to travel back less and less when I became Luna, but now I’m looking forward to staying there again.” I smiled as thoughts of being home with my real family seeped into the darkness and filled me with joy again.

“Why do you keep saying home? This is your home? You are leaving your only home, rogue”

“If you or anyone in this pack had bothered to ever speak to me, get to know me, ask me about myself, you would have known that just because I’ve been in this pack for 16 years, doesn’t mean it is my home,” I spat at him.

“Wait.,.. 16 years, you’re 18?” He asked confused.

“Exactly, dipshit. Exactly. I came here when I was 2. This isn’t my home, but it was supposed to be. Be sure to tell Syn that this was supposed to be the next most powerful pack. And now, you will be deemed the weakest. Mates shouldn’t be taken so lightly.” I told him as I regained my composure hearing the movement to my right.

“Sorry I took so long, I had to sneak past a few more than I thought,” Ryn told me as he approached.

“Ryn? What the fuck are you doing here?” Preston asked as he grew angry. Ryn was a warrior in the pack. But what no one knew, was he came here with me as toddlers. He was my watcher, my guardian. And now it was time for us to both go home.

“Escorting Oly home, as is my duty,” Ryn simply says as he reaches out and takes my hand, pulling me away from the borders. I stop him and turn my head over my shoulder one last time toward Preston.

“One more thing Preston, fuck you. Fuck him. And fuck her.” I say sweetly before turning back with Ryn. I muttered out the words to denounce my connection to this pack and these wolves and Ryn did the same, once we felt the bond break we began walking into the dark forest. I heard a howl in the distance and Preston muttered a curse word under his breath. The last thing I heard was Preston calling out my name relentlessly as we continued walking until we couldn’t hear him anymore.

We arrived at the border mid day, just as I suspected we would. We had walked most of the journey in silence, Ryn had always been able to read my moods and I knew he sensed the turmoil inside me that I didn’t want to acknowledge just yet. We stopped a few feet from the pack lands and I could feel the energy surging from the border, calling to me like an old friend.

“Can you feel that too?” Ryn asked

I looked and saw a smile on his face and his eyes closed.

“Yes, it feels like…”

“Home” he finished for me.

“Yes, Home. I am sorry for all the years you have had to be away because of me. Especially since it turned out to be for nothing.” I told him as the guilt seeped in thinking of his mama and pa whom I know missed him dearly.

“Don’t ever apologize, your highness. It was worth every day away to ensure you were safe. And despite the past few days, it wasn’t all bad.” He told me and I could see the honesty in his eyes.

I was about to reply when the pounding of paws sounded from nearby. Sure enough, from behind the trees three patrols arrived.

“Your highness, we were not expecting you back,” they told me in mindlink as they bowed in their wolf form.

“I know, it was an unexpected trip back. But we are ready to be home.”

They all nod respectfully and then split apart to allow us to pass through. They never would have attacked us if we had crossed on our own, but it was better not to risk it.

As we walked I couldn’t help the way I inhaled deeply the scents of our land, our people. Our pack lands were the most remote of everyone’s. We only did socializing as was needed, otherwise we kept to ourselves and focused on our land, our agriculture and our way of life. We were more natural than most, we hadn’t embraced the new era and technology in any way other than what was needed. Did we understand it? Absolutely. But we embraced the raw and old way of life. We grew our own food, had our own animals for meat, eggs and milk. We had everything we could possibly need within our borders and appreciated things more because of the way we were brought up here.

As we approached the castle I could feel the tears welling from how long it had been since I saw my family. It had been 6 months now. I had been practicing staying away, I would have seen them at my Luna ceremony and then less and less often after that. Now I Was home, and I couldn’t help the fact that the idea of being here all the time, for the first time since I was 2, was healing my heart over again.