AmaraIsang malakas na sampal ang dumapo sa aking pisngi galing sa ina ng aking asawa. Napatungo ako sa sakit, habang iniinda ito. "You still can't have a child after all this time? Pinahintulutan ko ang anak kong pakasalan ka, kahit na ayaw ko! Ngunit hindi mo pa rin mabigyan ng anak si Javier?" Sigaw nito sa mismong mukha ko.I noticed that ate Deanne stood up from her seat at inakay ang anak. She looked apologetically at me, bago ito lumayo kasama ang anak dahil sa ginawa ni mama. Si kuya Francis naman ay nanatili sa upuan na walang kibo. Napalitan ng seryosong ekspresyon ang mukha nitong kanina lamang ay may malapad na ngiti.Pakiramdam ko sa tuwing may pagsasalo ang pamilya ay ako ang sumisira nito. Ang dining hall na dapat napapalibutan ng kasiyahan ay napalitan ng kaguluhan. Kahit anong pagtitipon ay walang takas itong binabanggit ni mama. Wala akong nagagawa kung hindi ay yumuko at manahimik."Hindi naman kami nagmamadali mama." Sagot ng asawa ko sa marahan na boses ngunit an
AmaraNagising ako dahil sa naramdamang haplos mula sa ulo. Dahan dahan kong iminulat ang mga mata dahil sa araw na tumatama sa aking mukha mula sa bintana ng aming kwarto.My husband gazed at me with tenderness in his eyes as he gently glided his fingers through my hair, his touch a soft and soothing caress. "Good morning," he murmured, his voice husky and rough from sleep. His arms instantly enveloped me, drawing me close in a warm embrace. "Let’s have breakfast," he said, his breath tickling my neck. I responded with a gentle nod as he helped me to my feet. He chuckled softly at the sight. Ganito kami palagi tuwing umaga. Nagigising ako hindi sa sikat ng araw na tumatama sa aking mga mata. Ngunit dahil sa marahang haplos niya sa aking buhok. Ganitong buhay lamang ang nais ko. Masaya at payapa. Ngunit nararanasan ko lamang ito sa tuwing siya lang ang kasama ko. Dahil sa tuwing may pagtitipon kasama ang pamilya niya, palagi ko lamang itong sinisira.My thoughts were interrupted
AmaraTuluyan na bumagsak ang mga luha ko nang marinig iyon sa kabilang linya. Agaran namang kinuha ni Javier ang phone ko sa aking mga kamay."What do you want?" Javier demanded, his voice edged with anger.I couldn't hear what she said on the other line, but Javier's expression shifted to confusion and fury. Despite his emotions, he reached out and took my hand.Walang tigil sa pagbuhos ang mga luha ko, bakit pinagbibintangan niya ako sa bagay na hindi ko naman ginawa? Sanay na ako sa maliliit niyang pagtangka na sirain kami. Pero huwag naman sana siyang umabot sa ganito. Lahat ng pagmamaliit niya sakin, tinanggap ko. Ang hindi niya pagkagusto sa akin bilang asawa ni Javier, tinanggap ko. Hindi ba talaga siya titigil hangga't hindi kami nasisirang dalawa?Baka nga kasalanan ko rin... Ang dami kong pagkukulang kay Javier.Napakuyom ang kamay ko sa galit, poot at sakit. Gusto ko siyang labanan, pero wala akong lakas ng loob para gawin iyon. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko, pero wala akong ma
AmaraTumigil ang mundo ko sa sinabi niya. His eyes blazed with anger and betrayal, each word slicing through me like a knife.Walang tigil sa pag unos ang luha ko nang marinig iyon sakanya. Naalala ko ang mga sinabi ni mama kanina. Is this what she wanted to do? Break me completely?I walked towards Javier, my heart aching with every step. I wanted to reach for him, to feel some kind of connection, but the pain and fear in my chest were overwhelming. My hands trembled as I extended them, the distance between us felt impossibly wide. Each step felt like a desperate plea for comfort that I was terrified I might not receive. Ngunit parang binagsakan ako ng langit nang makita ko siyang umatras.“Don’t come near me, Amara,” he said, his voice cold and distant. The coldness in his voice sent a chill through my entire body, leaving me feeling frozen and utterly alone. Nanginginig ang mga tuhod kong huminto sa harap niya. Nakayuko habang walang tigil sa pag patak ang mga luha ko sa aking p
AmaraAng malamig na tubig na dumadaloy sa akin ay tuluyan ko nang naramdaman nang marinig ko iyon. Si Javier ang nag utos? Hindi niya magagawa sa akin iyon. Kahit galit 'yon... mahal pa rin ako. Kaya bakit? baka nagkamali lang si kuya."Kuya, baka nagkamali lang po kayo ng pagkarinig?" tanong ko habang iniinda ang ulan sa labas ng bahay ni mama.Bago pa ito makapagsalita upang sagutin ako, lumabas si mama. May sarkastikong ngiti."He did say that," she smirked, the corners of her mouth curling up in a way that made her words sting even more.Nang marinig ko iyon sakanya, at makita ang mukha nitong puno ng sarkasmo, imbes na magalit ako, mas lalo lamang ako nanlumo. He was really angry at me. A cold shiver ran down my spine at the thought that we might never fix this mess. The idea of losing him for good filled me with fear, making it hard to breathe."Saan po siya ngayon mama?" I asked in a weak voice, struggling to keep my composure. My words felt like they were barely holding toge
Amara I sat in the car next to Kuya, our driver, tears streaming down my face. The rain outside was relentless, and I was completely drenched. Palagi akong nililingon ni Kuya Mel dahil sa pag aalala. Walang tigil sa pag buhos ang mga luha ko, sumasabay sa lakas ng ulan. He only stayed out of pity? I guess I was so absorbed in my own emotions that I failed to notice it. I'm too blind to see it until it's too late. "Isipin mo nalang na mabuti na iyong nalaman mo agad nak. Habang wala pa kayong anak, mas mahirap pag meron na." Hindi na nakatiis si Kuya sa paglingon sa akin. Nag aalala nang lubusan. "Oo nga po" I agreed, but deep down, I wished I hadn’t known. I loved him too much, enough to accept even his pity just to be by his side. But now that I knew the truth? I had to accept it and let go. It was clear I couldn't give him the happiness he deserved. Each beat from my chest felt like a painful reminder of what I had lost Masakit malaman ang totoo. Ngunit nagdala rin it
AmaraI'm glad that Kuya and Manang Nenita were with me yesterday. They helped me with everything I needed to do and even drove me to the airport.Returning to the States feels different now that I'm no longer a Villanueva.Ang huling punta namin rito ay noong nag bakasyon kami, magkasama at masaya. Ngunit ngayon, ako nalang mag isa. The change is hard to accept. And I hate how just thinking about it makes me want to cry. Everything feels strange and new, as if the world has shifted slightly, making me see everything from a different perspective. The weight of my new reality is heavy.But it's good to be back here. At least now I'm with my family. It gives me a sense of comfort I desperately need right now. Though everything feels different, being surrounded by those who love me makes it a little easier for me. Pero hindi pa rin ako natutuwa sa ginawa nila kahapon, para lang ma sorpresa ako pag pumunta.I'm physically and emotionally exhausted. But I know I'll be fine. Things always
Amara"Mom, I want this too!" My five year old son, Yuan, came running to me, clutching a bright red toy car. His hair bounced with each step, may malaking ngiti sa kanyang labi. Ngunit bago pa man ito makalapit sa akin, Ayala her twin sister stepped in front of him, blocking his path with her tiny arms."You already bought a lot, Yuan," she said, crossing her arms with a stern look on her face. Halos magkadikit na ang kilay nito. Parang matanda kung umasta. Hindi ko mapigilan ang hindi matawa sa ginawa nito. I walked over to them.I bent down to their level. "Hey, it's okay. Mommy's going to buy it, alright? But first, what do you always need to remember?" I asked, nakangiti habang kausap ang dalawang anak ko.Yuan's expression softened as he came closer and hugged me. Ayala followed him. "Be kind always," Yuan said, hugging me tightly. Natawa ako nang marahan habang niyakap silang dalawa."Very good," I said softly, pinisil ang mga pisngi nila. "Let's go and pay."Just like usual, t