Chapter 1

Amara

Nagising ako dahil sa naramdamang haplos mula sa ulo. Dahan dahan kong iminulat ang mga mata dahil sa araw na tumatama sa aking mukha mula sa bintana ng aming kwarto.

My husband gazed at me with tenderness in his eyes as he gently glided his fingers through my hair, his touch a soft and soothing caress.

"Good morning," he murmured, his voice husky and rough from sleep.

His arms instantly enveloped me, drawing me close in a warm embrace. "Let’s have breakfast," he said, his breath tickling my neck.

I responded with a gentle nod as he helped me to my feet. He chuckled softly at the sight.

Ganito kami palagi tuwing umaga. Nagigising ako hindi sa sikat ng araw na tumatama sa aking mga mata. Ngunit dahil sa marahang haplos niya sa aking buhok.

Ganitong buhay lamang ang nais ko. Masaya at payapa. Ngunit nararanasan ko lamang ito sa tuwing siya lang ang kasama ko. Dahil sa tuwing may pagtitipon kasama ang pamilya niya, palagi ko lamang itong sinisira.

My thoughts were interrupted by Javier's gentle kiss on my cheek. "You’re drifting off," he said with a soft laugh.

I rolled my eyes playfully at him before letting out a chuckle. We settled at the dining table, where Manang Nenita placed the freshly cooked food in front of us.

"Thank you, Manang," I said warmly. Since Javier and I had married, si manang Nenita na ang nandito bilang katulong namin sa bahay.

Siya rin ang nag aalaga noon kay Javier noong bata pa siya, kaya may katandaan na rin si manang. Pero hindi nagbago ang kasipagan nito sa loob ng bahay. Mas komportable akong si manang Nenita ang kasama namin dito.

"Get ready after we eat. We're going somewhere," Javier said, his eyes filled with warmth and affection.

His features seemed almost flawless. It's no wonder so many women admired him. I felt incredibly fortunate to be the one he chose as his wife. His muscular, imposing frame and considerable height made me look petite beside him. His sharp features, long lashes, a defined nose, and perfectly shaped lips, only added to his striking presence. His face exuded an air of authority and confidence.

At times, I couldn't help but feel a deep sense of pride for having him by my side. I truly am a lucky woman.

"Your affectionate gaze is making me blush, sweetheart." Sinabi niya iyon nang nakakaasar kaya biglang napasama ang tingin ko sakanya.

"Huwag ka ngang feeling Javier. Saan ba tayo pupunta?" tanong ko at napainom ng tubig sa aking baso.

Isang taon na kaming kasal, pero pag inaasar niya ako ng ganito hindi ko pa rin maiwasan ang kabahan at pag bilis ng pintig ng puso ko. Minsan ay parang gusto ko nalang sapakin ang sarili ko sa tuwing nangyayari ito. Hindi na kami bata para kiligin pa ako kahit sa simpleng pang aasar niya. Pero hanggang ngayon ay ganoon pa rin ang nararamdaman ko.

Ganoon talaga siguro kapag mahal mo. Kahit iniiwasan mong hindi mapangiti sa mga nakakaasar nilang sinasabi, talo ka pa rin talaga.

"You’ll find out when we get there," he replied, sipping his water and keeping his gaze fixed on me.

Pagkatapos naming kumain ay sinunod ko nga ang sinabi niya. I slipped into a white, elegant dress and black stilettos, letting my hair fall in loose.

Habang nag aayos ako sa sarili, nakaupo lang siya sa kama habang pinagmamasdan ako na tila ba ay isa akong teleserye na inaabangan niya.

Sanay na ako sa ganito niyang ginagawa, dahil inaabangan niya palagi ang suot ko para ipares sa susuotin niya. Ngayong nakita niya na ang isinuot ko, nagbibihis na rin siya.

I settled in front of my vanity mirror and applied a light touch of makeup. As I finished, I noticed he had already dressed. He wore a white long-sleeve shirt with two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

He approached me, gently placing his hand on my neck to tilt my gaze upward. Then, he leaned down and kissed me softly. "You look gorgeous," he whispered, his voice warm and tender.

I smiled softly at his words. "Shall we go?" I asked, gently pulling on his hand.

He smiled as I tugged on his hand, then opened the car door for me, as he always did, letting me slide in first. Kagabi lang ay kabang kaba pa ako habang pumapasok sa sasakyan niya. Takot sa hindi malamang dahilan. Mabuti na lang at naiintindihan niya ako. Mahal niya ako. Dahil kung sakali man na iba yung nangyari kagabi... hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko.

He got into the car, started the engine, and, as usual, turned on the stereo. Maliban lamang kagabi, dahil umuwi kaming tahimik. Nasasaktan pa rin ako habang iniisip iyon, pero naiintindihan ko siya. Naguguluhan siya at nasasaktan din sa nangyari, kahit hindi niya man sa akin sabihin. Alam ko iyon, dahil ako ang asawa niya.

"Kahit isang clue? Saan ba?" pangungulit ko sakanya

"That wouldn't be a surprise anymore if I told you." sagot niya at sumulyap sakin at ibinalik ang tingin sa daan

"Malalaman ko rin naman mamaya, kaya sabihin mo na." hinatak ko shirt niya

"Right, malalaman mo rin mamaya."I pouted at his smirk. He glanced at me and, seeing my reaction, couldn’t help but smirk more.

"Don't use that power on me, my gorgeous witch," he teased. "I might not be able to handle it and accidentally give away our destination."

Sinubukan kong hindi matawa roon ngunit natalo ako. "Madaya ka talaga kahit kailan." Sabi ko at tumingin sa bintana ng sasakyan.

He grinned at me, making me roll my eyes. "Close your eyes," he said as he brought the car to a stop.

"Huh? Bakit?"

"Come here, let me cover your eyes. Who knows? You might peek," he said playfully as he gently placed a black fabric over my eyes.

I just let him and laughed softly. "Ang corny love ha, parang highschool."

He chuckled at my remark. "You’ll get the same thrill you used to get. I promise I won’t disappoint you," he said with a playful tone. I just shrugged in response.

"You always come up with these surprises," I chuckled softly.

"But this time, it’s different."

"Sure," I replied playfully, just as I felt his lips briefly brush against mine. I stayed still, unable to see anything, and soon heard the engine start up again.

Hindi pa pala dito yung lugar. Kaya pala tinakpan ang mga mata ko bago makarating doon. Hindi rin ako masyadong pamilyar sa dinadaanan niya kanina.

"Love baka kidnap to ah, nasa states pa naman family if ransom habol mo." I joked.

I heard him chuckle. "That's alright, ikaw naman ang gusto kong ransom." he said with a playful tone, making me laugh in response.

Kaya ko talagang lagpasan lahat ng paghihirap basta kasama ko si Javier. Basta nasa tabi ko siya, ayos lang ako. Tatanggapin ko lahat ng sakit basta ang kapalit noon ay ang pagmamahal ni Javier sa akin.

These small moments feel incredibly special when he's with me. Lahat ng simple nagiging engrande. Hindi man ako pinalad magkaroon ng isang masayang pamilya mula kay Javier. Pero malaki pa rin ang pasasalamat kong may anak sila na Javier. Asawa ko ngayon, at minamahal ko nang lubos.

I felt the car come to a stop, I remained seated, waiting. He got out of the car, came to my side, and opened the door, taking my hand in his. "Let’s go," he said, guiding me out. His hand settled around my waist, finding its familiar place as always.

I walked quietly, following his lead as he guided me. Palagi ko naman itong nararanasan sakanya pero hindi pa rin nawawala sa akin ang iba't ibang emosyon sa tuwing nararanasan ko ito.

Kinakabahan, natutuwa at malakas na pag kabog ng aking dibdib. Ngunit habang naglalakad kami nararamdaman ko ang pag lubog ng aking heels sa inaapakan. Napangiti ako. Ang malamig na dampi ng hangin sa aking balat, at ang tunog ng ugos ng alon.

The beach… my favorite place.

Hindi ko na ito sinabi sakanya na alam ko na, dahil ayoko naman na masira ang surprise niya kahit kinukulit ko siya kanina. Huminto siya kaya huminto rin ako.

"Are you ready?" he asked. I nodded in response.

He slowly removed the black fabric covering my eyes. Tumambad sa harapan ko ang isang malaking tela, sa gilid ng dalampasigan. Mga rosas na nagkakalat, may mga ilaw rin sa gilid nito. Hindi ko alam pero naiiyak ako.

Palagi niya naman akong sinu-surpresa pero, oo nga. Iba yung pakiramdam ko ngayon. Baka naman dahil sa nangyari kagabi, kaya masyado akong emosyonal. Napaiwas ako ng tingin at pinaypayan ang mga mata gamit ang kamay ko, kunwaring makakatulong para matigil ang nagbabadyang luha.

Narinig ko ang mahinang pagtawa ni Javier sa tabi ko, bago niya ako niyakap sa likuran. "Don't cry"

"Parang siraulo naman Javier." Reklamo ko at pinalis ang mga luha.

"I just wanted to surprise you. You deserve it," he said softly. "And this is my way of apologizing for what happened last night." He kissed my jawline gently.

"Okay naman na ako."

He smiled and took my hand, leading me to the white fabric spread on the sand. He sat down first, then gently pulled me to sit in front of him. As I settled in, he wrapped his arms around my waist, drawing me closer, and rested his chin on my shoulder.

We sat quietly, taking in the beautiful beach scenery as he hugged me from behind.

"Thank you for staying, despite everything," he whispered softly near my ear.

His words made me pause for a moment. I turned to face him and said, "No, I should be the one saying that. Thank you for being so patient with me."

Ako dapat ang magpasalamat. Dahil sa lahat kahit sa mga nangyari, mas pinili niyang piliin ako. Mas mahalin ako lalo. Kahit na hindi ko siya mabigyan ng anak.

Hanggang ngayon ay nagtataka rin ako kung bakit hindi pa rin ako mabuntis. Sinabi naman ng doctor ko na wala namang problema sa akin. Nagbigay rin siya ng iba't ibang gamot para sa akin.

He just kissed my cheek in response of what I said.

"Bakit parang wala lang sa iyo when mama said I'm cheating on you?"

"Hmm? Kasi alam ko namang hindi mo gagawin iyon." He answered in a serious tone.

"Ganoon lang? Hindi ka naniniwala sa sinasabi ni mama?"

"Ako ang nakakakilala sayo."

I chuckled softly at his words, but my mind couldn't stop overthinking. Bakit naman sinabi ni mama iyon? Kahit kailanman hindi ko naisip ang magtaksil sa asawa ko. When she said that last night, I felt uneasy. Maybe it's just my anxiety. Mama wouldn't go that far. Perhaps she just heard baseless accusations.

"That's good to hear because I would never do that to you," I said firmly, my tone serious.

"You better not," he chuckled

"Bakit ano ang gagawin mo kung sakali?"

"Magmamakaawa." He let out a laugh. Napatawa rin ako dahil sa sinabi niya.

"Seryoso nga, ano gagawin mo?" Pangungulit ko

"I can't imagine you cheating, but if it ever happened, I'd be really mad at you," he said seriously. I turned to look at his face, searching his eyes.

As I turned to him, he looked at me seriously. "And I'd be really mad at myself too," he continued. "Maybe there'd be something lacking in me that you were trying to find in someone else."

His hand brushed my cheek as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "So please, don't do it. I'd lose my fucking mind."

"Hindi naman talaga." Seryoso kong sagot habang tinitingnan ang mata niya. Seryoso ito habang nakatingin sa akin.

Ngumiti ito nang marahan sa akin bago ako hinila papalapit para yakapin. "I know. Maawa ka naman sa akin." tumawa siya kaya napatawa rin ako sa sinabi niya, naputol lamang iyon dahil sa kasunod na sinabi niya. "Dahil, ikaw ang sisira sa akin pag nangyari iyon."

I have no words to express how I feel in this moment. His love and the effort he put into this gesture mean everything to me. Just as we sit together in peace, the silence between us was broken by the ringing of his phone.

Kinuha niya ito sakanyang tabi upang tingnan, ngunit pinatay niya lamang iyon.

"Who is it?" I asked curiously.

He showed me the screen, it was Mama calling. Wrapping his arm around me, he kissed my nape.

"Why didn't you answer?"

"Shh, it's probably nothing," he said. But then another call from Mama came through.

"Sagutin mo nalang muna, baka importante."

He picked up his phone, and I thought he would answer it. Instead, he turned it off.

"Why should I let her interrupt us while we're here on a date?" he asked, his gaze steady and serious.

"Hindi naman sa ganoon, baka lang kasi importante." Sagot ko nang tumunog ang aking phone mula sa bag.

Kinuha ko ito at tiningnan kung sino. Si mama ang tumatawag. Even though Javier was right in front of me, I didn’t bother telling him. I simply answered without hesitation.

"Hello po mama."

"Kasama mo ba si Javier ngayon? Tell him to answer my call." She spoke from the other end of the call, but I could sense the cool detachment in her voice.

"Sasabihin ko po." Sagot ko nang magsalita muli ito.

"This is your end now Amara, wala nang kakampi sa iyo. Lumabas na ang katotohanan, at tama nga ako. Isa kang salot at malandi na klase ng babae."

Napatunganga ako nang marinig ko iyon, pero nanatili akong kalmado. Gusto malaman ang ibig niyang sabihin, simula pa lamang nang sabihin niya ito kagabi. Hindi na nawala sa utak ko ito kung ano ang tinutukoy niya.

"Ano po ang ibig niyong sabihin?" I asked carefully.

"May gana ka pa talagang mag maang-maangan sa kabila ng nagawa mo? Hindi kana naawa kay Javier." Tumawa ito nang sarkastiko. "Kung naloko mo ang anak ko, pwes huwag kang umasa na maloloko mo rin ako Amara."

Maloloko? Anong pinagsasabi niya? Hindi ko siya maintindihan. Hindi ko niloko ang anak niya.

"Hindi ko makuha ang ibig sabihin mo mama. Dahil kahit kailan, hindi ako nagloko sa anak niyo." I said it with a heavy heart, my voice cracking as tears began to well up and spill over. Each word felt like a struggle, and the pain made my chest ache as the tears streamed down my face.

Javier’s gaze was intense as he gently placed his hand on my shoulder.

“Give me the phone,” he said, his voice firm and authoritative. I shook my head right away, a silent refusal.

"Oh, kasama mo pala siya ngayon." Salita ni mama nang marinig niya sa kabilang linya ang boses ni Javier. "Iparating mo sakanya ang tawag ko, Amara. Ipapaalam ko kay Javier ang lahat ng kadumihan mo." Saad nito sa isang seryoso ngunit may bahid ng pagbabanta sa boses. Napatakip ako sa aking bibig upang maiwasang humikbi.

"Sa oras na magising ang anak ko sa kahibangan na ito, magsimula ka nang lumayas sa pamumuhay namin."