2. Twenty- three

~ Harper’s POV ~

It's been two weeks since I had been attacked, two weeks since I had my embarrassing breakdown. Two very long weeks. 

As soon as I was able to get back to my normal healthy state, I was informed of the circumstances of my attack. I was attacked by the same group of rogues who had murdered and mutilated Elijah. They arrived at this conclusion because the arrow that had pierced my shoulder had carried the same message that we had found earlier on Elijah's body.

We hadn't told the pack members of this fact yet. We had no idea who was behind these attacks and announcing this to the pack will only cause unnecessary distress and panic.

Moreover, the arrow that I was attacked with was laced with a heavy dose of wolfsbane. If anything affected us and had the potential to kill us, with a huge amount of terrifying pain, it was wolfsbane. The dose I had been shot with was enough to kill two fully grown adult wolves. They had factored in the possibility of my healing because of me being the white wolf and I was really lucky that I had survived. When I came to know about it, I found that I was extremely lucky that I was passed out the whole time my body was flushing the poison out of my system.

The attack only proved how important it was to uncover who was behind the red lakes pack.

It was unusual for rogues to come together and attack a pack. They were wild and mad wolves who were discarded by a pack because of some serious crime they committed. Wolves were social animals and as a result of their isolation, their wolves tend to go mad and on a vicious rampage for blood. They didn't interact well with other wolves and killed indiscriminately. So, for a group of rogues to come together and aim for this pack was a sensitive matter. And to be honest, it worried me.

I would be a fool to not be worried. So, me and dad wasn't going to take any chances.

I, then realized that if I were to search and find Zara, I would be creating a lot of problems. Right now, in this time of danger, she should be far away from this pack. Exactly, where she was. Bringing her back here would not only endanger her, my mate, and this pack's Luna but would also shift the priorities of the warrior wolves of the pack. Even I didn't want to admit it, she was a human and her being weak in case of an all-out attack by the rogues will end up distracting the warriors because they are trained to protect the luna of the pack at all costs.

I wouldn't be able to bear it if her life would be at risk, whatever the reason may be. So, as much as the realization pained me, right now, she was better off being exactly where she was. 

Moreover, her reasons to leave were still reasons. She left because she didn't know what to do about the fact that I had made her best friend pregnant and the baby was going to be the next alpha of the pack. Nothing had changed that part of my life so, apart from my dying and unconditional love, she had no reason to come back. I think she took away my sarcasm with her.

Speaking of Natalie, I had been uncertain about talking to her after I came to learn about her pregnancy. I was worried that she had developed feelings for me and that having a baby with me would only cement those feelings. That would have been a major roadblock in my already strained relationship with Zara.

So, when I regained my senses after the attack, I blatantly asked her about her feelings for me. This was one issue I had to deal head on.

It may sound narcissistic of me to assume that she was in love with me but it's just the way animals survive. The unmated females always bond and mate with the fittest males to create healthy and strong progeny. So, my being an alpha and a white wolf only strengthened my suspicions.

When she told me that she didn't have any romantic feelings towards me, I released a very big breath. She took another ten minutes after that to convince me that she wasn't interested in me at all. 

I wanted to be in the baby's life, from attending the doctor's appointments to his labor and throughout his life. I knew I needed to step up take hold of my life and face the consequences of my past decisions. If I had found out that she had any feelings for me, then simply being there would have been difficult and way too awkward for me. 

I knew that I couldn't just blindly believe her words, I had to see if she meant what she was saying, if she was, in fact, in love with me. I guess only time could clear my suspicions and confirm whatever Natalie said.

In the meantime, I was going to take her at her word, not because I wanted to be close to her but because I had to be close to her because of our child. It still felt to talk about it or even think about it. Our child. I was going to have a child.

And it never hits harder when you're sitting outside the doctor's office, waiting for your ultrasound appointment, with the woman who's carrying your baby. Like I was, right now.

Me and Natalie were sitting outside the obgyn's office, waiting for the nurse to call us in. She was almost five months along and her bump was visible now. 

"Ms. Natalie Johnson, we are ready for you." A nurse came in the waiting room and I instantly sprang up from my seat, my excitement evident on my face. Natalie laughed at my actions and shook her head in amusement.

This wasn't her first time seeing this baby, so she could afford to take it lightly but this was going to be the first time for me. I would hear my child's heartbeat and I was ecstatic.

We entered the room where the nurse handed us a paper-thin gown to change into. I respectfully went outside the room to give her the privacy. She called me when she was done and I entered the room at the same time as the doctor.

"Alpha". She vowed he head respectfully and I gave her a smile and a nod. 

Natalie without a word from her doctor, pulled her gown up and I averted my eyes because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, and seeing her like that just felt wrong.

The doctor, without a word, applied a gel-like substance on her belly and roamed the wand of the machine around her belly, trying to find a heartbeat.

"Ah, there it is." Just then, the soft thud of my baby's heartbeat filled the room and my wolf howled in joy and I resisted the urge to cry, as Natalie was doing right now.

I held Natalie's hand, as my tears blurred my vision. I couldn't believe that it was happening.

Did I wish that it was Zara instead of Natalie? 

Absolutely.

Was I going to enjoy the joys of being a father because I wasn't having the child with the love of my life?

I'll try my best to.

"I'll print out some pictures for you and give you both some time." Then, she wiped Natalie's belly and gave us some privacy.

"That was...," I had no words for the miracle I had just witnessed. I had created that. That was my child. Mine and Natalie's.

Right then, a piercing pain racked my body. I hunched over in my pain, all the feelings of my joy and excitement forgotten. 

I had felt this pain before. This was the bond working against Zara's decision to create between us. The band wanted us close together and was rewarding the distance between us with pain.

I hadn't felt this pain in a month and a half when Zara decided to leave me. She must have found some way to dull the effects of the bond, which was failing right now.

The last thing that passed through my mind before passing out was the realization that Zara was in gut-wrenching pain too and I was powerless to do anything about it.