2. Twenty- eight

It felt like being stuck in limbo, not that I knew how it felt. I was just guessing because this was exactly the way a 'limbo' had been described in books and movies. I knew where I was, and what was happening but my brain refused to deign it any importance. My brain had stopped registering what was happening or where I was and I knew that I was in shock. My body was in shock. I knew that Ethan and come and quite literally saved me from a very terrifying turn of events and that I was safe. My body knew it was safe and was, in turn, shutting itself down so as not to come to terms with what had happened just a few hours ago.

Because it would explain how I didn't register the fact that Ethan had got me in a cab and taken me back to my sister's apartment, how he had got me to take a bath without me remembering anything about it.

What I did remember about the shower was the intense and dying urge to scrub my skin raw, to get rid of the touch of those filthy men who had pretty much assaulted me. So, I did the only thing I could, I scrubbed my skin as hard as I could, hoping that my skin would just peel away from my body. I scrubbed and scrubbed till my skin turned red and I would have bled if Ethan hadn't interrupted me. I was afraid that I was going to feel filthy for a long time, till the time I remembered those men touching me and I wasn't ready to face this emotion. Is anyone ever being?

After the interruption from Ethan, I quickly put on my clothes, deciding not to wear undergarments for bed. I opened the door to the bathroom and walked into my bedroom. I noticed that Ethan was sitting on my bed but made no comments about it.

"You can go, you know," I said and got inside my bed, under my warm duvet. "You brought me back home. You don't have to stay here." 

Ethan turned to look at me and moved his gaze all over me as if to check if I was physically unharmed. When he was satisfied, he looked me straight in the eyes," You aren't getting rid of me that easily." With that, he got inside the duvet and mirrored my position, our shoulders touching and our legs spread out on the bed.

Silence reigned in the room for a while, the both of us not knowing what to say. "Thank you", I said, my voice incredibly soft but I knew he heard me because I felt his gaze boring into the side of my head. I refused to look at him, I was too conscious and dare I say it, embarrassed and uncomfortable with everything that happened.

Ethan took my left hand into his right. He entwined both of our fingers and gave me a gentle squeeze. It was a reassurance, his way of saying that I need not worry about it. He didn't let go of my hand and I made no move to take it back.

"Talk to me," I said, still not meeting his gaze. "Tell me something. Anything."

He must have understood that I didn't want to think about what had happened to me in the alley. He gently squeezed my hand again. "I wasn't always a rogue."

My eyes moved to look at him but he wasn't looking at me anywhere. He had a faraway look in his eyes and I didn't want to say anything which would interrupt him, so I squeezed his hand instead.

"My father was the alpha of the Domi Hills pack in the south and I was set to take over the title after I had found my mate." I kept looking at him, as he divulged more information about himself than he had ever done. "My father has been a great alpha, an amazing mate, and an exceptional father to me and my siblings. I still have no idea how he balanced everything but he did."

"My mother has been an amazing Luna. The pack practically worships her. She has this calming aura around her, which makes you instantly trust her. She makes the most amazing dark chocolate muffins ever. You'll love them." He smiled, thinking about her.

"They're my favorite," I whispered, still riveted by his description of his parents. I could see that he loved and respected them and they had done an amazing job in bringing up Ethan.

"I know. That's why I said, you'll like them." He said while looking at me. I gazed into his warm eyes, almost getting lost in them. I didn't realize how close we had been sitting to each other but now, that we were looking at each other, our faces inches apart, the distance between us, or the lack of it, became more evident.

I have no idea who made the first move but I forgot everything that was going through my mind the moment our lips touched. Our lips moved in sync with each other and I moaned as Ethan's arms pulled me closer to him. His arm came around my waist and the other one gingerly held my face, his thumb stroking my cheek.

All the moments between us had amounted to this moment. This moment of us kissing each other, forgetting everything else. 

I moved towards him and straddled his hips, my legs on either side of him. I dove one of my hands into his hair, scratching his scalp with my fingernails while my other hand rested on his shoulders, feeling his muscles bunch every time he bulged.

He growled as I bit his lower lip, his chest rumbling under me and the vibrations shook me to my core. I moaned as his hand fisted my hair and he planted butterfly kisses on my jaw to my throat.

His lips returned to mine and I kissed him back eagerly. "Make me forget," I mumbled against his lip and kissed him back again.

His arms came around my waist and he pulled me closer to him, my breasts pushing against his broad chest. My nipples pebbled as I felt his hard chest and I moaned as our tongues finally met and fought for dominance.

We leaned back for a little air. "What?", He mumbled and then attacked my lips again.

I leaned back and held his face in both of my hands. "Make me forget them." 

Them. The men in the alley. Help me forget them. Wash away their touch. Make me stop feeling them every second.

He stiffened under my touch, took both of my hands in his, and leaned forward. I fell back on the bed with Ethan hovering over me. His gaze pierced me; his expression set in stone. I leaned forward to capture his lips with mine once again but he backed away at the last moment.

"You are in shock." He said, gently shaking his head, while not making any attempt to get over me. 

Was I? Was I in shock right now?

It was no secret that I had wanted to kiss Ethan before, in more ideal circumstances than this one. But was I doing this right now because I was in shock because I wanted to get rid of the nasty memories in my head?

My eyes widened in realization and tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn't believe that I did that. This wasn't like me. Not at all by the looks of it, Ethan knew it too.

Instead of pulling away from me, because I had unintentionally used him, he pulled me into his chest. I hugged him back, crying my eyes out on his shoulder. My tears seeped into his jacket but he didn't care. He smoothed my hair back and comforted me for what felt like hours.

I moved off of him and moved back to sit beside him. I covered my face with both of my hands as the realization of what happened struck me in full force. "I was almost raped today." I gasped and cried as my shoulders shook with my sobs.

Ethan pulled me into him, I rested my head on his shoulder and cried my eyes out. "Stay with me," I said, my voice already hoarse from all the crying I had done. 

"I'm not going anywhere." He smiled and gently motioned me to lie down on the bed, instead of sitting up. I followed his direction and lay beside him.

He held me close to him while I bawled my eyes. I don't know when sleep took over me but I remember feeling safe in Ethan's arms.