2. Twenty- nine

Ethan had promised that he wasn't going to go anywhere and that he would stay with me. I think I'm a little bit too happy when I confirm that he did stay with me throughout the night. When I opened my eyes, my head raging because of a hangover, he was still with me, sleeping beside me.

An involuntary smile had made its way on my face before the events of the previous night danced in my brain. The abuse. Ethan saved me and brought me back. And the kiss. 

I had flushed in embarrassment and surprise because of my actions because it was so unlike me. The fact that he was probably the second guy I had slept with, literally closed my eyes, and went to sleep with, besides Harper, wasn't lost to me.

It was when my thoughts stopped on Harper and my embarrassment overwhelmed me, did I got up from my very comfortable position on the bed and went to the bathroom.

I had no idea how Ethan was going to react when he woke up. Would he go back to avoiding me or were we friends once again? If one would ask me, I think the both of us had formed some sort of a bond that night. Ethan had shared some personal details with me, even if they were intended to placate me, it mattered. So, going back to not recognizing each other's existence would have been hard for me.

I took my sweet time doing my business in the bathroom because I was nervous. This was a new thing for me. I hadn't been this nervous since I had met Harper's parents, which as I thought about it, turned out to be just fine. I clenched my eyes shut as I stood in the shower to stop myself from thinking about Harper. Again.

I quickly changed into my casual wear, with my hair wrapped around my hair, and walked back into my room. My eyes immediately landed on Ethan, who was rubbing his eyes, his hair sticking up in all directions. He looked delectable like this and I flushed when our eyes met. I braced myself for whatever I was going to face but relaxed when he smiled at me.

He had got up from the bed and had asked me to be ready in sportswear in fifteen minutes. I was going to protest because I was a lazy bone and I didn't want to plan any sports but his no-nonsense look silenced me.

He asked me to trust him and I just nodded, because weirdly I did. I met him at his front door after fifteen minutes, dressed in my sports gear, dreading what he was planning.

If he hadn't helped me through a difficult time the night before, I would have clocked him in the head again and again. He thought that going for running was a bright and fantastic idea. It would have been if I hadn't been clumsy as hell. Did I already mention that I was also a lazy bone? 

He managed to make me run by literally taking me in the middle of nowhere and then making me run back to the car. We ran for miles. What was a near-death exercise for me was just an easy warm-up for Ethan because he was a werewolf and an alpha at that. He ran circles around me.

Emily and Adam were confused to see our bipolar mess because one day were being friends, then we were ignoring each other, and the next, we were back to being friends again. They still didn't know what exactly had caused this change and I wasn't going to tell them that.

Now, a week later, there hadn't been a day when we hadn't gone running together. I had finally understood what he had planned to do. By the end of our running sessions, I become so tired that I just lie on my bed, exhausted, and lose myself to a very deep and relaxing sleep.

We had grown into a comfortable cycle. As I was too exhausted to think about the incident, I knew that I was running away from my feelings. I was boxing them up and ignoring that it ever happened. I would probably open this box a year from now and then, maybe it would not hurt so much. Maybe, I'll even be able to talk about my experience without bursting into tears. It may not be a healthy way of coping according to others, but this method worked for me and kept me sane. 

If I had thought Ethan would reveal his life story to me, I would have been completely wrong. Aside from the snippets he had told me that night, he was still an enigma to me. He acted like he didn't tell me those things and I didn't want to make him uncomfortable, so I didn't say anything.

I plopped down on the sofa, as tired as I possibly could be after our usual run. Ethan didn't care if I had an extra class or a study session, like today, and I stopped whining after I realized it on the fourth day.

I panted like a sweaty dog on my sister's sofa while Ethan who was casually going through the fridge, barely broke out a sweat. "It's not fair", I whined and caught the water bottle Ethan threw at me.

Ethan laughed when he saw my dilapidated and pitiful state before taking a sip from his water bottle. I put the cool bottle on my forehead to cool myself down. 

"What's not fair?" He asked, amusement clear in his eyes.

"That I sweat like an animal and you look so good. Even when ironically, you are an animal." I closed my eyes and focused on the little cool the bottle was giving me while Ethan's laugh rang out in my sister's apartment. They had both gone out on a date, so it was pretty much me and Ethan right now.

His boisterous laugh brought a small smile to my face and I opened my eyes to watch his gaze on me.

"You are torturing me more than those men in the alley, Ethan." I huffed and opened my bottle to take a sip of the cold water.

After a few sips, I capped my bottle and put it down on the table in front of me. I looked up at Ethan to see his face set in stone and his steely gaze on me. The temperature in the room seemed to have dropped at least ten degrees.

Ethan walked like the predator he was sat down on the couch in front of me and looked me straight in the eyes.

"I met my mate when I was sixteen. Of course, I didn't know she was my mate then. The mate bond doesn't become active till one of us reaches the age of eighteen." I gulped nervously at his words, unsure where this was coming from. His attitude had flipped so suddenly that I was still reeling.

But it was still an insight into his past and who he was, so I wasn't going to interrupt him. If he had found his mate, what was he doing here, away from his pack and mate? He hardly seemed like the guy to leave his responsibilities.

"She was a couple of months younger than me and is the most beautiful I have ever seen." I smiled at his words, not at all thrown by his description of a mate. After all, I had learned that a mate was the most important thing to a werewolf.

"My father was ready to get me the position of alpha as soon as I was ready because I had been preparing for that post my whole life and everything had been going right with me and my mate." I had a feeling something happened and I internally crossed my fingers to make me wrong.

"An enemy pack got news of the transference of power and position so they kidnapped my mate. They kept her captive for seven days before I found her. They had tortured her and abused her."

"I couldn't get to her soon enough and I blame myself for that every day. Still, she was alive and I was thankful for that. At the moment."

At the moment? What did that mean?

"I knew that she had seen more horrors in those seven days than I had seen in my, then nineteen years. She spiraled into depression and one day, she slit her wrists."

I gasped and looked at Ethan, who had a stony and faraway look in his eyes. His tone was robotic as if he was reading a storybook and not reciting his very troubled life story.

"I knew she was suffering and I couldn't help her. We had already destroyed the pack and the rogues which helped them, so I couldn't even go on a killing rampage. Without killing innocents, that is."

I didn't know what to say. Harper had once told me that losing one's mate was the most heartbreaking thing that could happen to a werewolf. The loss broke you mentally and physically and you ended up as a shell of who you were.

"Anyway, I don't think I'm torturing you exactly like the men in the alley." I sat on the sofa, stunned into silence. Guilt washed over me as I contemplated what my words must have felt like to him.

"Don't say things you don't mean, Zara." 

After giving me a pointed look, he walked away, closing the apartment door softly behind me, and leaving me speechless.