I woke up with my head throbbing. Pinatay ko ang alarm na nasa side table at bumangon, sapo ang ulo.
I didn't have enough sleep last night. The past few weeks are actually hell for me. Final exams drained my system. Halos hindi na ako matulog sa dami ng kailangang aralin, at mga requirements at projects na kailangang ipasa.
I took a shower and did my morning routines. I wore my school uniform and did my make up before going downstairs for a breakfast.
The breakfast went on with my parents talking about business and work. Tahimik lang akong kumain at paminsan-minsan ay nakikinig. Medyo gumaan ang pakiramdam ko sa narinig sa mga magulang pero mabigat ang aking
pakiramdam at masakit ang ulo.I kissed my parents goodbye after eating and went out of the house. I entered our SUV. My phone rang inside my bag. I sighed when I saw who it was.
"Yes?" I asked in a monotone. The woman sighed on the other line. "What is it, Jayle?"
"Eh kasi," muli siyang bumuntong hininga. "I have something to tell you, sana. Nasaan ka na ba? Hindi na ako makapaghintay! Kating-kati na akong magkuwento." She said.
"I'm on my way. Medyo malapit na rin. Is it that important that you'll call me just for that when you can just tell me that later? Tss." I scoffed. My throbbing head affects my mood today.
"Sungit!" Asik niya. "I just called to know where you are kasi nga, kating kati na itong bibig kong magkuwento. I want to tell you personally. It's very important for me. Iyon lang. Bye na nga!" I sighed at her nonsense words then she hung up on me.
Napasandal ako sa head rest ng backseat at napabuntonghinga. I badly wanna sleep. I'm not feeling well but I just can't miss school. Kahit tapos na ang finals ay marami pang kailangang tapusing gawain. Kaya't kahit parang naaalog na ang aking utak ay pinili kong pumasok. Friday naman ngayon at tatlong subjects lang ang papasukan.
I lazily got out of the car as soon as we arrived at the campus. I informed Manong to fetch me at lunch time. I'll just stay home and rest. I don't think I can hang out with my friends with a headache.
Students eyed me as I strutted towards the corridors. Girls looked at me with sharp eyes, some are in awe, some are judgy. Sanay na akong ganoon ang tingin ng halos kalahati ng populasiyon ng kababaihan sa school na ito. I heard someone whistled. Sumimangot ako at sinulyapan ang grupo ng mga lalaki sa malayo.
Napasulyap ako sa lalaking may kulay tsokolateng mata na ngayon ay nakatingin na sa akin. Ang grupo nila ang kinababaliwan dito at hindi ko alam kung bakit. I mean, okay...they're handsome and rich. And they're good at playing with girls too. Sapat na ba iyon para halos mabaliw ang babae sa kanila?
Forth Axel, the leader of those assholes, is the worst of them all. Siya ang pinakagusto ng lahat. Well, he's devilishly handsome. Bukod doon, nothing special, really.
Umiwas ako ng tingin at palihim na umirap. Sanay na rin ako sa ganiyang titig niya pero naiilang pa rin ako. How could he stare at me like that and flirt with bunch of girls? Nakakainis.
Breaktime came and my energetic friend dragged me out of the room. We went to the cafeteria for a snack. Siya na daw ang mag-oorder para sa aming dalawa dahil mukha daw na wala ako sa hulog. I told her my head is aching.
"So as what I told you earlier, I have something to tell you." Panimula niya habang kumakain ng sundae. I looked at her, munching the fries on my mouth.
"Hmm. Ano iyon?" I asked.
She beamed. She looks happy with something. "Kasi," she bit her lower lip. "The agency from New York called me," she added. Natigilan ako at manghang napatingin sa kaniya.
I know that. Jayle is an aspiring model. Bata pa kami ay pangarap niya na iyon. Kaya lang, nakakalungkot na hindi niya maiitutuloy ang karerang iyon dahil sa kaniya ipapasa ang responsibilidad ng kaniyang ama sa kompaniya. She's the sole heiress of their company, nag-iisang anak gaya ko. Kaya gustuhin niya mang pausbungin ang modeling career, abutin ang pangarap, hindi niya magawa.
"Oh my god?" I gasped in awe. "And?" I probed excitedly. Suminghap siya.
"And...they offered me some...you know, stints. At tinanggap ko, kasi girrrl, its NYC! Its a great opportunity." She giggled. I smiled at her. I am happy seeing her pursuing what she loves.
We talked about the offer over snacks. Somehow, my mood went lighter after eating. Medyo umayos rin ang pakiramdam ko nang makainom ng tableta para sa headache na hiningi namin sa clinic. Kaya lang, pagod talaga ang katawan ko. Tinitiis ko na lang at dalawang subjects na lang naman ang natitira.
Nagpatuloy ang pagsasalita ng propesor tungkol sa mga gawaing ipapasa. I just jotted it all down, making sure it's organized para hindi ko malimutan. Marami pa naman at baka matambakan ako.
The prof from our last subject dismissed us early. Finally, I can have my sleep. As usual, nagyaya ang mga kaibigan kong gumala. Sinabi kong hindi ako makakasama dahil gusto ko munang magpahinga.
Syempre, nagreklamo sila.
"C'mon! Minsan ka na nga lang sumama sa amin these past few days, eh." Giana said. Sabay kaming naglalakad palabas ng campus. Napabuntonghininga ako.
"Because it's finals' week. Alam niyo naman ang ginagawa ko tuwing may ganoon." I answered.
"Alam namin iyon. Nakakatampo lang minsan, hindi ka namin mareach-out." Simangot naman ni Shane. I laughed slightly. Si Jayle ay may ka-text habang naglalakad.
"Sorry naman. I just got busy with school works. Promise, babawi ako. Hindi lang talaga ngayon, guys. I badly need sleep."
"Ay alam ko na," Jayle suddenly interrupted. "Ganito na lang, mga babe. Why don't we just go home for now and let's go to Club Tilt mamaya? Para makasama ka, Cary." She suggested.
Well, pwede naman. I nodded. The three agreed, too. Si Macy ay halos pumalakpak pa. "That sounds great. Namiss ko rin mag-party. Pambawi na rin sa madugong exam."
"Suuus!" Shane poked her side. "Ang sabihin mo, namimiss mo iyong bartender roon, hindi ang pagpaparty. Akala mo hindi ko nakita ang malagkit niyong tinginan, ha!" She teased. Macy glared at her, hiyang hiya lalo pa at may ibang napapatingin.
"Shut up," maarte niyang saway.
Nagpatuloy ang usapan hanggang sa isa isang dumating ang mga sundo nila. Si Giana ay sinundo ng boyfriend, si Macy ay sumabay kay Shane since pareho sila ng way pauwi. Si Jayle naman ay sinundo ng driver.
Ako na lang mag-isa ang nag-aantay. Gusto ni Jayle na isabay na lang ako but I refused. Nagtext naman si Manong na on the way na siya.
I scrolled on my phone. I checked some of my messages. There are lots from schoolmates, mostly boys. I didn't entertain a single one and went to our group chat. It has some announcement from the class president.
Napakunot ang noo ko nang maalalang inutusan nga pala ako ni Ms. Ramos na ipasa ang mga answer sheets sa faculty. Iyon iyong mga quiz sa Accounting kanina. I rummaged on my bag and sighed in relief when I found it.
Pumasok ulit ako. Naabutan kong kaunti na lang ang estudyanteng pakalat kalat sa labas ng building. Marahil ay nagsisimula na ang ibang klase.
I went to the third floor where the faculty room is. Tahimik ang buong hallway nang dumaan ako. I knocked before entering. I saw Miss Ramos on her desk, working on something.
I politely said goodbye to her and went out of the faculty room after I gave her the papers. Ngunit agad din akong natigilan nang may marinig na kung anong ingay.
Napakunot ang aking noo. Lumapit ako sa isang bakanteng classroom kung saan nanggagaling ang tinig.
"Hmm." halinghing ng pambabaeng tinig.
Namilog ang mga mata ko sa narinig. Shit! Are they...?
Natulos ako sa kinatatayuan sa narinig. Gusto ko mang umalis ay hindi ko magawa sa pagkabigla. I shut my eyes close. Kinakabahan ako sa mga naririnig.
Suminghap ako ng tahimik. I heard sloppy friction sounds. Parang biglang umalerto ang pagod at malamya kong katawan. Bahagya akong sumilip sa bintanang may maliit na siwang.
My face crumpled seeing two people kissing senselessly. Kapit na kapit ang babae sa isang pamilyar na katawan. Kahit nakatalikod ay alam kong si Forth iyon. Napangiwi ako sa nakikita
.
Really? Ilang labi na kaya ang n*******n nito? I griited my teeth, annoyed for some reason.
Tatalikod na sana ako at aalis ng tahimik nang biglang tumunog ang cellphone ko. Napapikit ako nang mariin. Siguradong napahinto rin ang dalawang iyon sa ginagawa nila at baka nakita pa nga ako!
Hindi ko sila tinignan at tuloy tuloy na umalis. Lakad takbo pa ang ginagawa ko dahil sa kahihiyan. Some students looked at me weirdly. I probably look stupid!
I wiped the sweat off my forehead and neck using my hanky and combed my damp hair. My phone rang again. I glared at it. Pahamak. I saw Manong's name on the screen. "Ma'am. Sandali lang ho, ah? Traffic kasi eh. Malapit na po," I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Okay po. Just make it a bit fast po, please? I badly wanna go home." I said and hung up the phone. Napapikit ako ng mariin nang maalala ang senaryo kanina. Everyone from our batch knew about Forth's reputation. Some even find it amusing and cool. While me? I hated it. I don't like guys playing with someone's feelings. They are bunches of idiots. I jumped a bit at the presence of someone beside me. My heart thumped. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa gulat, o kaba. Syempre, sa gulat. Bakit naman ako kakabahan, diba? Hindi naman ako ang nahuling nakikipaghalikan. I lazily turned to him. "What?" Kailan ba ako makakauwi. I'm so tired. Dumagdag pa ito. His brow shot up. "Nasaan ang sundo mo?" Aniya at sumandal sa pader ng waiting shed na
Sumabog ang malakas na musika sa buong lugar. The blinding strobe lights, bottles of liquor, gyrating bodies, people dancing wildly and drunk people seated on the couches welcomed me. Hindi na kami mag-aalala dahil lahat kaming magkaibigan ay nasa legal na edad na at responsable naman sa mga kilos. I spotted my friends at the right corner, malapit sa dancefloor. Kumaway si Shane sa akin, doon ko napansin ang dalawa pang lalaking hindi pamilyar sa sa akin na nakikipag-usap sa mga kaibigan ko. "There she is!" Macy beamed. "Ang hot naman talaga! Nagliliyab ang kagandahan sa malamig na gabi!" She teased. Natawa ako roon at inikutan siya ng mata. Shane whistled playfully. "Sana all may dede," Giana laughed. I sat beside Jayle whose busy texting someone. Nakangiti pa at animo'y kinikilig. Siniko ko siya ng bahagya. Lumingon siya sa akin, nangingiti pa sa kausap. "Oh, hi! Sexy naman!" She beamed. I smiled at her and put my purse at the table. I poured the Jack Daniels on a glass while li
Sa mga ganitong sitwasiyon, hindi ako umiinom ng mahigit sa dalawang baso ng alak dahil alam kong mahina ako sa bagay na iyon. Ngayon lang ako nakainom ng marami. I stood up and walked sluggishly. I am a bit slurry but I managed to walk my way to the restroom. Walang katao-tao sa loob noon nang makarating ako. I leaned my head against the cold wall. Mainit ang aking pakiramdam at nahihilo pa. It took me minutes to compose myself and freshen up. Medyo umayos na ang aking pakiramdam matapos makapagsuka at maghilamos. Bahagyang nabawasan ang pagkahilo ko bagama't namimigat na ang mga mata. On my way to our table, my phone rang. Dad's name flashed on it. It's already 1 am so its very unusual for him to call this late, I think it's important. Pahirapan man ay mabilis akong nakalabas sa bar at sinagot ang tawag. Namuo ang pawis sa aking noo at leeg dahil sa pakikipagsiksikan sa mga tao. "Dad," I called. "It's late. Something wrong?" He sighed tiredly. "Nothing, hija. Nasaan ka?" "I'm
Ilang sandali pa ay kumalma na ako ngunit nanatili kami sa ganoong posisyon. No one dared to move nor speak. I find the moment calming and peaceful, na para bang matagal na kaming ganito sa isa't isa kahit na ang totoo, mula noong high school ay ngayon lang kami naging ganito kalapit sa isa't isa. His heartbeat is calm but his breathing is heavy. I felt the urge to bury my face in his chest but I stopped myself. I don't think it's right, given our past encounters at school. We're not even friends. He sighed and hugged me more. "Feeling better now?" He asked. I nodded. Bahagya akong kumalas sa kaniyang yakap, hinayaan niya akong makawala. Inayos ko ang aking suot na dress. Pinulot niya ang nahulog kong purse at inabot sa akin. Hinanap ko rito ang aking scrunchies para masikop ang magulong buhok. Nanonood lang si Forth sa aking ginagawa. Nahirapan akong sikupin ang buhok dahil sa hawak na purse. I tried but I fail eventually. Itinigil ko na lang iyon. Hinayaan ko na lang na ganoon an
He drove away from our house at 3 am. Halos nahuhulog na ang aking mga mata sa antok at pagod, at ganoon din siya. He looked tired and sleepy. I texted my friends the next day. I said sorry for leaving without a word. Nag alala ang mga ito dahil bigla na lang akong nawala. Nagdahilan na lang ako na nagpasundo dahil inaantok na, pinili kong ilihim ang nangyari. The next days passed like a whirlwind. Simula noong nangyari sa bar, medyo umayos ang pakiramdam ko sa presensiya ni Forth. Tuwing nagkakasalubong kami sa school, nagagawa ko na siyang ngitian bilang pagbati. Hindi tulad ng dati na iwas na iwas akong mapadapo ang tingin ko sa kaniya. "I'll be leaving next month," Jayle pouted sadly. Nandito kami sa cafeteria para sa lunchbreak. Kaming dalawa lang dahil may klase pa ang iba. Giana is a stem student, si Shane ay may cooking class at si Macy ay humms. Kaming dalawa ni Jayle ay abm, kaya minsan lang talaga na makumpleto kami dahil abala rin ang ibang kaibigan sa ginagawa. I sigh
The lightness I am feeling from the scene earlier was shortlived as I settled on my seat during dinner, feeling the uncomfortable silence with my parents. I can sense that something is going on between them and I can't help but observe them. I looked at my Mom who looks stressed and tired. She is focused on her food. Then my gaze turned to my dad who looks worn out. I can really sense that something is off between my parents. Dati naman nang tahimik ang hapag namin pero hindi ganito kabigat ang atmospera. "Mommy," I called softly. She looked at me and raised a brow, her gaze softened a bit while looking at me. "Are you both alright po? You both look tired," I asked. I know it is not good to talk about this in front of the food but I can't help it. Maybe...they're too stressed about work? She smiled a bit. "I'm fine, Selene. We're just tired from...work," she said and focused on her food again. Meanwhile, I am not convinced. It seems like there is something else but I don't want t
Nakalipas ang ilang sandali at hindi na siya nagreply. Sampung minuto na at wala pa rin siyang tugon. Gusto kong batukan ang sarili dahil para akong tangang nakaabang sa reply niya. Napaismid ako at sumandal sa headboard ng kama at tumitig sa kisame. Napapitlag ako ng tumunog ang phone ko para sa isang tawag. Thinking it was one of my friends or some unknown people, I answered it. "What?" I asked coldly. I am not really in the mood to entertain someone. I can't believe I am being like this just because I didn't get a reply! The other line remained silent. I looked at my phone. The line is still connected. My forehead creased because the number is unregistered. "Who's this? Don't waste my time please." I was about to hang up when I heard a husky chuckle on the other line. My lips thinned. I know who it is. "Hi. Sorry, are you busy?" "Yes," I breathed. "I am busy. Don't call or text me. I'm doing something." malamig kong sabi. He sighed. "I'm...actually outside your house,"
Bagsak ang katawan ko pagkapasok at nakatulog kaagad. Nabasa ko lang ang mga mensahe niya nang magising ako, informing me that he got home. Nakita kong may bago siyang mensahe kaninang alas otso lang ng umaga and it is already ten in the morning. Forth: Good morning. Forth: I guess you're still sleeping. Don't forget to eat breakfast when you wake up. Napangiti ako roon. Bumangon ako sa pagkakahiga at sinuklay ang buhok gamit ang daliri. Me: Good morning. Kakagising ko lang. Naligo muna ako at nagbihis bago bumaba para kumain. Natigilan pa ako ng makita ang mga pinsan ko na nasa living room. They are my cousins from Daddy's side. Anila ay pupunta kami sa bahay ng aming lolo at lola sa Batangas. Kanina pa pala naghihintay ang mga iyon sa akin at kanina pa ako kinakatok sa kuwarto. Biglaan lang daw at tumawag si lolo at nakiusap na bisitahin sila. Sumama ang mga babae kong pinsan sa pag-akyat ko. Halos magdugo na lang ang tenga ko sa ingay nila. Si Shanaiah lang ang hindi masy