The doctor’s diagnosis

I recollect myself and emerge from the bathroom to find my mom in full tears. I’d never seen this side of her. Not that I’d know what to do if I did.

“What’s wrong?” The only thing I could bring myself to say without panic.

“Nothing sweetie, I couldn’t find you and became worried. That’s all.” She shrugs as she said it. One of her few tells that she’s lying.

I slowly make my way to the bed carefully sitting down as if it would rip out from underneath me at any second and reach for my mom’s hand. Not because I needed it but I think she did. Once I grab her hand in mine, I see a wave of worry just slowly dissipate as if into thin air.

“Are you okay mom? Did the doctor say something?”

“Not yet dear. They were able to do all the testing needed while you were asleep. I’m sure it’s nothing but now we just have to wait.” She shrugged again. She knew something and if she did, she just didn’t want to be the one to tell me and that made me nervous.

As I hold her hand stuck in thought, the doctor walks back in. I hadn’t noticed before how young he was. He couldn’t be more than twenty six years old. He was a nice medium build with black combed back hair and brown eyes with a smile that anyone would trust easily. But I knew better than to trust a pretty smile.

“Hello Cassandra, I’m Dr. Rosario. I’ve been treating you here at the hospital since you’ve arrived. How are you feeling?” He said this with the most reassuring smile as if it were going to settle me and keep me from jumping over the edge.

“I’m fine. Thank you.” I give as little words for pleasantry as I can. I’m not here for the handsome doctor. I’m here to get to the point of what it is that he saw.

“Okay. Well Cassandra, I’d like to go over your symptoms in the last couple of days leading up to this event today. Is that okay with you?”

Symptoms? What symptoms?

What the hell did he see?

“With all due-respect Dr. Rosario, I don’t have any symptoms and I haven’t had any in the past. I just want to know why I’m still here.”

He looked at me with another reassuring smile as I sat there holding my mother’s hand in anticipation. Although I felt like I was holding her hand more to keep her from shattering than myself. Just then, my dad walks into the room and sits beside me as well to hold my other hand. He seemed to know exactly what I didn’t. It almost felt like an intervention like the ones I had seen on TV. Except this intervention could change the course of my life and I could derail it if I tried.

The doctor carefully brought a chair out and placed it about three feet in front as if I’d bolt out the door the second I heard the news. Not that I hadn’t thought about running since the moment I realized I was here but my body wouldn’t be able to cooperate in my escape if I tried. Every part of me felt like a bag of bricks, each one heavier than the other as I tried to have them move in sync. I watched him as he sat down carefully. If there’s one thing I’ve noticed from watching the signs of people around me, it’s that a person will tell you exactly how this will go in a matter of minutes without ever saying a word and this was not going to go well.

“Mr. And Mrs. Richardson, as you know we conducted a CT scan, MRI, blood and cultures on your daughter today due to a loss of consciousness and Cassandra’s mild head injury.” I hated how he spoke to them as if they were the patient while I sat in the middle like a teddy bear made for comfort. But I take in a moment to think.

Mild head injury? All this for a mild head injury?

“We understand doctor.” They say in unison as if they were filling an expectation.

“Now Cassandra, I understand you may not have had any symptoms that may have stuck out to you in the past which is not completely out of the ordinary. But after this event, I imagine you have some concerns you’d like answers too. After we conducted our tests and sent down the labs, I came to a conclusion on your diagnosis and I want you to know that I did review this with another doctor.”

This is it. I’m finally going to hear what it is that has impeded on my life plan so abruptly.

“Cassandra, there is no easy way to say this but the image on CT scan confirms my suspicions. You have a malignant tumor in the frontal lobe of your brain. Now we have detected its presence early and treatment is a viable option but it already the size of a quarter so treatment would need to start immediately.” He sighs as though the weight of the world has lifted slightly from his shoulders. What he doesn’t know is that it just firmly planted itself on mine.