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My not so short ER visit
Last Updated:
2025-01-18 01:21:27
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The web I can’t unweave Still in the ER
I try to rest as I wait for Darren to return to take me to imaging. As I slept, I begin to dream of things I’d never considered for myself in the future. I am in bed reading a children’s’ book to a tiny human, smiling as I turn the pages and see their excitement and hear the word ‘mommy’ echo as the child looks up at me. A moment passed as I reply ‘yes baby’ with a smile. I continue reading until all of a sudden - it’s dark outside and the darkness engulfs the room. Once the light returns, I’m in a white room. It’s large and empty space making it feel like a cage of white walls. I instinctively pick up pieces of crayons and write on the walls as if in a trance and begin writing my fears on each wall of my enclosure.No loveDeathNo familyDeathCancerDeathNo legacy DeathBy the time, I stop writing, every surface of that room was covered in fears written in different colors and ‘DEATH’ written in capital letters and red crayon all over. I then get up and begin touching each wall.
Last Updated : 2025-01-18The web I can’t unweave My results
After more than an hour of imaging, Darren returns me to my room. “I’ll be back to go over your imaging with you in a bit. Is there anything I can get for you in the meantime?” Darren asks with a sad smile. I think I’m okay. Thank you, Darren” I look at Maverick as Darren leaves the room. He looks exhausted and yet he found time to raid the vending machine for snacks and a drink. “Hungry? I had some time to get a few things since I didn’t know how long we’ll be here? He smiles slightly. We? He was free to leave at any time but he intended on staying even though he was exhausted. “I’m okay right now. Do you want to share the bed with me for a nap instead?” I start to scoot over, leaving half of the blanket for him. “An irresistible offer.” He smiles as he gets into my bed. He then puts his arm behind my head and brings me closer to him. “Are you tired?” He asks. “Not really but this is nice.” “Well the nurse gave me a tablet where you can stream shows while you’re here. Care t
Last Updated : 2025-01-19The web I can’t unweave Finally free of the hospital
After Darren left, I waited about an hour while Maverick stayed resting peacefully at my side. Waiting for my discharge was just as eerie as walking up in this same room once again.I hear a knock at the door as the nurse slowly enters. She sees Maverick sleeping and decides to speak to me quietly.“Ms. Richardson, these are your discharge papers. The doctor has added your new treatment regiment in which you’ll be following up in the oncology department. I believe he spoke with you already?” “Yes. I’m aware.” I say quietly as I try not to wake Maverick.“Okay, great. Well there are some health guidelines to follow for your condition and the doctor has added a prescription of antacids for your stomach and zofran for your nausea. I have your prescriptions as the doctor requested they be sent and filled to in-office pharmacy. Do you have any questions for me?” She asks as she carefully hands me the paperwork and a bag containing my prescriptions. “No, thank you. Am I okay to leave now?
Last Updated : 2025-01-19The web I can’t unweave Home at Last
Once we get back to my apartment, Maverick wakes me gently and picks me up to bring me inside. He gently opens the door and takes me directly to my bed. He then shuts the door and brings himself back to the room, sitting down in the bed carefully.“You feeling okay?” He asks carefully as if the words were boulders that would roll over me if spoken too loudly.“Yeah. I’m just really tired.” Not a complete lies I was tired although I was more exhausted than anything and it had nothing to do with a lack of sleep. I wasn’t improving the way we had hoped, my health was slowly interfering with my life, my doctor seems intent on pursuing me even while I have my person sitting in the same bed as me, I embarrassed myself at EnviroDoc and there’s still the cherry to top it all off: I have brain cancer. A cruel sick joke that taunts me relentlessly so I meant it wholeheartedly when I said I was tired.I look up at Maverick to see his mind is steadily at work. He had read between the lines. There
Last Updated : 2025-01-22The web I can’t unweave Time for more treatment
After what has come our nightly ritual, we laid down for bed. Maverick had cuddled me close until I fell asleep.I awoke the next morning to my alarm. I’d have my first radiotherapy enhancement today. I look over to see Maverick is still sleeping and I shuffle quietly out of bed. I almost make it out until I feel a hand grab my wrist. “It’s early. What’s wrong?” I look over to see Maverick peaking at me groggily.“Treatment - today. I have to be at the hospital in twenty minutes.” I say as I stare down at the bed.“Want me to come?”“No, get some rest. I’ll only be gone about an hour.” I lean over to kiss him and then get ready to leave. I watch as he rolls onto his side and falls back to sleep.This was the first time Maverick had been there when I woke up. His chiseled features accented by the shadows of light dancing along the curtain. His hair thrown carelessly and his blue eyes - out of sight as he slept. He reminded me of what Greek mythology expressed as Gods. As u admired his
Last Updated : 2025-01-27The web I can’t unweave Darren’s proclamation
“Are you sure about your choice?” He asks as he clasps his hands together.“My choice?” Was he referring to Maverick? My choice in one man or the other? “Yes. I know you chose to pursue treatment and since the very first one, I felt a connection to you. I know you felt it too.” He says as he makes unbreakable eye contact with me. This was not the kind of conversation I thought I’d be having while being injected with radiation.“I did but my connection with him was growing as well and he’s made me happy.” I think back to when I first met him. I had been swoon after our dream but after seeing his genuine nature - I was very enamored. His confidence, intelligence and appearance were paired with care, compassion and dedication. I never thought a man like that existed or that someone like that would be interested in me nonetheless. “I didn’t think that the moment we spoke in the bathroom would lead you to him.” He bows his head.“But it was a clarifying moment, Darren. It just didn’t go
Last Updated : 2025-02-03The web I can’t unweave My episode
I push the tissue to my nose and apply pressure as Darren grabs a first-aid kit on the shelf across from me - returning with a stop bleed stick and placing it gently into my nose.“What’s happening to me?” I ask in a nasal tone as I try to calm my roaring thoughts.“It’s just a side effect of the radiotherapy. Bleeding isn’t uncommon.” He says as he holds the stick inside my nose.“I’m not going to be able to go back to EnviroDoc, am I?” I needed to know if this was going to be my life as I proceed treatment.“You can go back. You just have to listen to your body and take it easy sometimes.” He makes it seem easy. “It’s going to tough for a little bit while your body tries to cope with the radiation but you can do it.”“What if I can’t?” I ask as the tears begin rolling down my face.“Hey, it’s going to be okay. I’ll do everything I can to make sure you get better. This is just the beginning of a long journey but it’ll pass.” He says with a soft smile.“I’m vomiting, losing consciousn
Last Updated : 2025-02-06The web I can’t unweave My consciousness
I don’t remember what happened exactly.I remember a nose bleed that was problematic.A conversation with Darren that was uncomfortable and then darkness. I slowly look at my surroundings to find myself still in the oncology treatment bay and Darren is sitting by my side.“What happened to me?” I groggily ask as I search my mind for answers.“You lost consciousness for a few minutes. I believe you were overwhelmed.” I could tell by his response that he was giving as little and as much information as possible.“Why was I overwhelmed?” I didn’t need to be tip-toed around. I needed to know what was happening to me.“You ran your fingers through your hair and well, some of it came out.” He fidgets with his fingers as he says what I feared most in the beginning.“I’m going to lose all of it, aren’t I?” I sit back to contemplate my life. What would it be like once I looked just as sick and they told me I was? What would people see? Or worst, how would they treat me?“Your hair can grow bac
Last Updated : 2025-02-18
Latest chapter
The web I can’t unweave My consciousness
I don’t remember what happened exactly.I remember a nose bleed that was problematic.A conversation with Darren that was uncomfortable and then darkness. I slowly look at my surroundings to find myself still in the oncology treatment bay and Darren is sitting by my side.“What happened to me?” I groggily ask as I search my mind for answers.“You lost consciousness for a few minutes. I believe you were overwhelmed.” I could tell by his response that he was giving as little and as much information as possible.“Why was I overwhelmed?” I didn’t need to be tip-toed around. I needed to know what was happening to me.“You ran your fingers through your hair and well, some of it came out.” He fidgets with his fingers as he says what I feared most in the beginning.“I’m going to lose all of it, aren’t I?” I sit back to contemplate my life. What would it be like once I looked just as sick and they told me I was? What would people see? Or worst, how would they treat me?“Your hair can grow bac
The web I can’t unweave My episode
I push the tissue to my nose and apply pressure as Darren grabs a first-aid kit on the shelf across from me - returning with a stop bleed stick and placing it gently into my nose.“What’s happening to me?” I ask in a nasal tone as I try to calm my roaring thoughts.“It’s just a side effect of the radiotherapy. Bleeding isn’t uncommon.” He says as he holds the stick inside my nose.“I’m not going to be able to go back to EnviroDoc, am I?” I needed to know if this was going to be my life as I proceed treatment.“You can go back. You just have to listen to your body and take it easy sometimes.” He makes it seem easy. “It’s going to tough for a little bit while your body tries to cope with the radiation but you can do it.”“What if I can’t?” I ask as the tears begin rolling down my face.“Hey, it’s going to be okay. I’ll do everything I can to make sure you get better. This is just the beginning of a long journey but it’ll pass.” He says with a soft smile.“I’m vomiting, losing consciousn
The web I can’t unweave Darren’s proclamation
“Are you sure about your choice?” He asks as he clasps his hands together.“My choice?” Was he referring to Maverick? My choice in one man or the other? “Yes. I know you chose to pursue treatment and since the very first one, I felt a connection to you. I know you felt it too.” He says as he makes unbreakable eye contact with me. This was not the kind of conversation I thought I’d be having while being injected with radiation.“I did but my connection with him was growing as well and he’s made me happy.” I think back to when I first met him. I had been swoon after our dream but after seeing his genuine nature - I was very enamored. His confidence, intelligence and appearance were paired with care, compassion and dedication. I never thought a man like that existed or that someone like that would be interested in me nonetheless. “I didn’t think that the moment we spoke in the bathroom would lead you to him.” He bows his head.“But it was a clarifying moment, Darren. It just didn’t go
The web I can’t unweave Time for more treatment
After what has come our nightly ritual, we laid down for bed. Maverick had cuddled me close until I fell asleep.I awoke the next morning to my alarm. I’d have my first radiotherapy enhancement today. I look over to see Maverick is still sleeping and I shuffle quietly out of bed. I almost make it out until I feel a hand grab my wrist. “It’s early. What’s wrong?” I look over to see Maverick peaking at me groggily.“Treatment - today. I have to be at the hospital in twenty minutes.” I say as I stare down at the bed.“Want me to come?”“No, get some rest. I’ll only be gone about an hour.” I lean over to kiss him and then get ready to leave. I watch as he rolls onto his side and falls back to sleep.This was the first time Maverick had been there when I woke up. His chiseled features accented by the shadows of light dancing along the curtain. His hair thrown carelessly and his blue eyes - out of sight as he slept. He reminded me of what Greek mythology expressed as Gods. As u admired his
The web I can’t unweave Home at Last
Once we get back to my apartment, Maverick wakes me gently and picks me up to bring me inside. He gently opens the door and takes me directly to my bed. He then shuts the door and brings himself back to the room, sitting down in the bed carefully.“You feeling okay?” He asks carefully as if the words were boulders that would roll over me if spoken too loudly.“Yeah. I’m just really tired.” Not a complete lies I was tired although I was more exhausted than anything and it had nothing to do with a lack of sleep. I wasn’t improving the way we had hoped, my health was slowly interfering with my life, my doctor seems intent on pursuing me even while I have my person sitting in the same bed as me, I embarrassed myself at EnviroDoc and there’s still the cherry to top it all off: I have brain cancer. A cruel sick joke that taunts me relentlessly so I meant it wholeheartedly when I said I was tired.I look up at Maverick to see his mind is steadily at work. He had read between the lines. There
The web I can’t unweave Finally free of the hospital
After Darren left, I waited about an hour while Maverick stayed resting peacefully at my side. Waiting for my discharge was just as eerie as walking up in this same room once again.I hear a knock at the door as the nurse slowly enters. She sees Maverick sleeping and decides to speak to me quietly.“Ms. Richardson, these are your discharge papers. The doctor has added your new treatment regiment in which you’ll be following up in the oncology department. I believe he spoke with you already?” “Yes. I’m aware.” I say quietly as I try not to wake Maverick.“Okay, great. Well there are some health guidelines to follow for your condition and the doctor has added a prescription of antacids for your stomach and zofran for your nausea. I have your prescriptions as the doctor requested they be sent and filled to in-office pharmacy. Do you have any questions for me?” She asks as she carefully hands me the paperwork and a bag containing my prescriptions. “No, thank you. Am I okay to leave now?
The web I can’t unweave My results
After more than an hour of imaging, Darren returns me to my room. “I’ll be back to go over your imaging with you in a bit. Is there anything I can get for you in the meantime?” Darren asks with a sad smile. I think I’m okay. Thank you, Darren” I look at Maverick as Darren leaves the room. He looks exhausted and yet he found time to raid the vending machine for snacks and a drink. “Hungry? I had some time to get a few things since I didn’t know how long we’ll be here? He smiles slightly. We? He was free to leave at any time but he intended on staying even though he was exhausted. “I’m okay right now. Do you want to share the bed with me for a nap instead?” I start to scoot over, leaving half of the blanket for him. “An irresistible offer.” He smiles as he gets into my bed. He then puts his arm behind my head and brings me closer to him. “Are you tired?” He asks. “Not really but this is nice.” “Well the nurse gave me a tablet where you can stream shows while you’re here. Care t
The web I can’t unweave Still in the ER
I try to rest as I wait for Darren to return to take me to imaging. As I slept, I begin to dream of things I’d never considered for myself in the future. I am in bed reading a children’s’ book to a tiny human, smiling as I turn the pages and see their excitement and hear the word ‘mommy’ echo as the child looks up at me. A moment passed as I reply ‘yes baby’ with a smile. I continue reading until all of a sudden - it’s dark outside and the darkness engulfs the room. Once the light returns, I’m in a white room. It’s large and empty space making it feel like a cage of white walls. I instinctively pick up pieces of crayons and write on the walls as if in a trance and begin writing my fears on each wall of my enclosure.No loveDeathNo familyDeathCancerDeathNo legacy DeathBy the time, I stop writing, every surface of that room was covered in fears written in different colors and ‘DEATH’ written in capital letters and red crayon all over. I then get up and begin touching each wall.
The web I can’t unweave My not so short ER visit
“Cassandra, what happened? You seemed fine this morning and I have you on the schedule to come in tomorrow.” he says as he reads my chart - making no effort in acknowledging Maverick sitting by my side. “Well I got dizzy and went to the bathroom at work and the next thing I remember is vomiting blood.” I look down at my legs, trying to remember anything else but that seems like everything. “Have you eaten anything strange lately?” He asks as he washes his hands to put on gloves. “No. I didn’t even eat breakfast this morning.” “I’ll be checking you over and we’ll see what’s the next steps. Okay?” Darren makes his way towards me. “Okay.” Maverick keeps his hand on mine as Darren examines me. He touches my lymph nodes, listens to my lungs and heart, checks my tonsils and ears but finds nothing out of the ordinary. “I’m not seeing anything that would have caused that bleeding externally so I’d like to press on your abdomen to make sure there isn’t any discomfort.” “Okay.” I lay
