Close Proximity

In one swift motion, Dr. Rosario lifts me into a cradle position and pinches the clip on my IV bag as he drapes over his shoulder. I think of protesting but the heat in my body keeps rising and I feel like someone has lit a match to every surface of my skin. I watch as he seems determined and almost frantic to reach the door at the back end of the room. He kicks it just enough to make it swing on the hinges. I jump at the sound. It reminded me of that one act of cruelty when I was thirteen. The one I didn’t deserve that made me hate the idea of my own beauty.

Once inside, Dr. Rosario turns on the water in a stand up shower, hangs my IV bag on the hook just outside of the tile walls and steps inside with me in tow. The water is ice cold and I feel as though there’s steam radiating off of me or better yet him. I look at up at him like a sheep in the lions’ den.

“I can stand.” I say in the tiniest voice.

“I think I’ll carry you just for safety. I wouldn’t want you to slip and hurt yourself” He says in a husky tone as I stare at the water beading down his face. His shirt is drenched and I can see every crevice and curve to his muscular frame. I could feel my skin heat up again but this time from something else.

“Are you feeling any better? Your cheeks are still flushed” He asks staring at me intently.

Could he tell that I was blushing? That this proximity between him and I was making me hot all over again?

“I feel a lot better than I did earlier. Thank you Dr. Rosario.” I didn’t want to make any inclination that I was being inappropriate even if my mind was looking and thinking elsewhere.

“Darren.” He says simply but firmly.

“Huh?”

He tilts his head back quickly to reposition his hair and looks back down at me.

“You don’t have to call me Doctor every time you address me. You can call me Darren.”

“Okay - Darren.”

Dr. Rosario or Darren I guess - slowly turned to shut the water off. He then steps out of the tub gently and places me in a chair right next to the shower. I assume it’s for situations like these. He then grabs towels off a rack directly above my head and wraps one around me then begins to dry off his hair and face. I sit there trying to dry myself and stop myself from my wandering eyes. It’s hard to miss two large green eyes gawking. So I try my best to keep my eyes to myself.

Darren then kneels in front of me and I notice his chest. It’s bare. He was shirtless and the view was impeccable.

“I have to change. I will be in the next room for just a moment and then I’ll come back to assist you. I want you to call out if you have any symptoms or need me. Okay?” He looks at me seriously without breaking eye contact as he says this.

I nod my head as I couldn’t fathom trying to make coherent sentences at the moment. I take the time to compose myself and dry myself as much as possible. My hair falling in black clumps around me while I clothes still stuck to my skin my glue. I try my best to make myself at least somewhat decent before I hear Darren return.

He walks around the corner back into the room slowly as if hoping not to interrupt. I see he has changed into another button-up shirt with khakis. Proper attire for the young attractive doctor as I sat there exactly where he had left me.

“Are you okay?” He looks at me with a sliver of concern as I stare back at him taking in every detail I can. I’d like to say I’d know what he was thinking but he wasn’t giving away any signs.

“I’m okay. Just a little cold.” As I say this, he opens a drawer on the far end on the room where there is a small dresser and pulls out a hospital gown, a brush and some toiletries. This office seems well prepared for any and all occurrences.

“I have some things for you to put on while we dry your clothes so that you’re more comfortable while we continue your treatment. Are you able to change yourself or would you like some assistance?” He asks matter of factly. I noticed all that everyone had left as I started treatment with Darren. There would be no one but him to help me and that made me a little more nervous.

“I can do it.” I say as I hold out my hands to receive the items he’s picked out for me. He hands them to me carefully as though I was made of glass and slowly turns around to face the door.

“After this scare, I don’t feel comfortable leaving my patient alone. I’ll be right here but I promise not to look or turn around unless you need me for assistance.” He holds firm in place as he speaks to me.

I take no time in arguing as he made himself clear that he will at least respect my privacy and his concern for my safety wasn’t unreasonable. I change into my gown and begin putting on deodorant, socks and attempt to brush my hair to no avail with the IV still attached to my arm. I sign in frustration as I hear him ask “Would you like help with your hair?” I quickly glance up expecting him to have been watching but he’s still standing nose first to the door. How did he know?

“It’s okay. I’m dressed already. My hair is fine.”

He then turns around slowly and hold his hand out for the brush in my hands. I hand it over and give a small defeated smile. I have never felt as helpless as I did in this moment but I appreciated his concern.

He slowly positions himself to my right and gently grab my hair and brushes it until it is no longer a birds nest. He then put the brush away and turns to face me.

“Okay Cassandra, now that we’ve got you taken care of, are you ready to sit back down in the treatment bay and continue your treatment?” He said so in a slightly happy tone as though this was a sense of normalcy. I then look up to the hook holding my radiotherapy treatment and see it’s still halfway full from where it was when I began. The thought of continuing frightened me but this was the only way I’d live to build a legacy.