Chapter 10: Ferrin

 

I slammed the door shut behind me, not caring if I pulled half my scalp off as I forcefully tugged my hands through my hair. Wondering how I could be so stupid.

I fucking kissed her.

I couldn’t control myself, and I fucking kissed her. And it was amazing.

I shouldn’t have even gone up there tonight.

I threw myself into the armchair and stared up at the ceiling. The ceiling that put so much distance between me and my mate that it physically hurt.

Damen’s concerns had sat heavy with me all day. He was right. Finding out that the alpha in the prophecy was my fated mate opened it up to a whole new avenue of interpretation. Since the prophecy had been delivered to me ten years ago, we had approached it as if the alpha was the threat. That she would kill me and take my throne. Any ruler can tell you that was always a risk to consider, prophecy or not, so I didn’t take it too seriously at first. But it was the part about the alpha ascending that started to bother me. It was an old term that hadn’t been used in almost two centuries. It referred to turning a werewolf into a lycan.

Werewolves were the product of a lycan trying to turn a human. The first time a lycan attempted to turn a human was over a thousand years ago. The process was considered unsuccessful, and the resulting creature was viewed as a half-breed and inferior. However, the lycan continued to try, only producing more werewolves before he was stopped.

But the damage had been done. To control this new population of shifters, the lycan nobility enslaved them. It was many years later that someone discovered that even though we couldn’t turn a human into a lycan, we could turn a werewolf. But doing so had always been deeply rooted in controversy. Even in the later centuries, when the nobility started using it as a reward for loyalty and exceptional service to the leading families. Meaning they had to save the life of a noble or royal. Usually more than once. Even then, only the reigning monarchs could approve the ascension.

The practice died out a long time ago, eventually becoming forbidden. That didn’t mean it didn’t happen secretly, of course. But it was rare. As far as I knew, there hadn’t even been an attempt in my lifetime. There were only four families left who carried the ability. Mine was one of them.

That’s why that particular part of the prophecy concerned me. This threat would have an ally among my people. A powerful ally. I started taking the prophecy more seriously. That meant involving the Council, including all the remaining noble families. Most of the kingdom was familiar with the prophecy now. This allowed us to keep tabs on the three other carrier bloodlines.

But now, that didn’t mean much.

Like Damen said, who else would turn her but me?

Taking a werewolf as my Luna would cause enough scandal on its own, fated mate or not. But to make her a lycan? That would cause backlash in my country and hers. She would have a huge target on her back. One that I worried I couldn’t protect her from. And I knew that if I turned her, it would mean we were mated and marked. Add a sire bond on top of that. I wouldn’t survive losing her.

So, I resigned myself to keeping my distance. I would continue to pursue the truth about her mother’s death and keep her updated on the progress. But until I could learn more about the prophecy, I had to remain diplomatic, nothing more. I would fight the mate bond so that if it came down to it, I could reject her and send her back to Avilvale. She would be safe, and no one would ever find out who she was to me. That meant no more visits every day. No more staying in the lower suite. I couldn’t get to know her. I couldn’t be around her. I definitely couldn’t fucking touch her.

I had buried myself with work the rest of the day. Doing anything to keep myself busy. I thought I was succeeding until I found myself in an art supply store picking out materials. I intended to have Miranda bring it to Willa, but I couldn’t be bothered to track her down when I returned to the castle. I pushed through the day, dealing with several headaches and putting out a few fires along the way. By nightfall, I was in such a foul mood that Austin threatened to lock me in a cell for the night for almost ripping out the throat of one of my guards.

I conceded to calling it a day and left my office. I had every intention of going to my own quarters and sleeping in my own bed. But I somehow found myself climbing the tower stairs. The need to see her guiding my feet. Just to be near her to take some of the edge off. I’d give her the sketchbook and leave. After a full night’s sleep, I would be fine by morning.

But that didn’t happen.

She didn’t have the same hesitancy around me she had before. She had started to open up to me. And watching the stress leave her body as she drew. Seeing what my gift had meant to her. Hearing her sweet voice as she spoke to me. She was so beautiful. I just felt the stress of the day melt from my body being next to her.  

Then she believed me. I saw it in her eyes. She believed me when I told her I would keep her safe. I felt so much hope and relief that I couldn’t stop myself.

I kissed her. Even more, she kissed me back. Her body responded to my touch, and I wanted so much more. The scent of her arousal hit me like a damn freight train. I barely managed to pull myself away before going too far.

Although, at the moment, it felt like I had already gone too far.

I had to get my shit together.

I pulled myself out of the chair and left the suite, forcing myself to go to my own room. I was almost there when I heard a voice call my name. I cringed as I recognized to whom it belonged. The mood I was in, she was the last person in the world I wanted to deal with. I tried to keep walking as if I hadn’t heard her, but she called out again, even louder. So I reluctantly stopped and turned in the direction of her voice.

“There you are, my lord.” Desiree Boucher sashayed down the hall to me. “I’ve been looking for you, but we seem to keep missing each other. Where have you been hiding these last few days?”

Her tone was playful, with an attempt at seduction. She was Callum Boucher’s younger sister and the beauty of the region. When I was younger, I would have played along, even been happy to bring her into my bed. We met when we were teenagers. I thought she was the most beautiful female in the world, with long black hair, long legs, and a slender build. I had a crush on her for years. When we both came of age, my father considered arranging a marriage between us. I wasn’t against it and used that as a way to get closer to her.

Our dalliance was short-lived. I came to realize I couldn’t stand her. She was vain and manipulative. And while she liked the attention of being flaunted as the jewel of her family, she didn’t care about those her family was supposed to take care of. She wouldn’t make a strong Luna. I told my father I wouldn’t consider the match. But that hasn’t stopped her from trying to worm her way in ever since.

“I have been busy,” I replied. “What are you still doing here anyway? I thought you and your brother left yesterday.”

“We still had some Council business to attend to, so I stayed behind.” She pouted her lips, faking dejection. “You don’t seem happy to see me.”

“It’s late, Des,” I said. “What do you want?”

“It’s been so long since we’ve been here.” She ran her hand up my arm and pressed up against me. “I wanted to spend some time together.”

“No.” I brushed her hand away, her touch making my stomach churn. “I don’t have time for this, Desiree. It’s been a long day, and I’m tired.”

“Oh, right. I heard about your project up in the tower. Everyone is curious about what you could be doing up there. Some of us have been dying to find out.”

Fuck.

“I’m putting together plans on renovating for my sister and her family,” I came up with quickly. “She’s been wanting to spend more time here throughout the year. Now that the kids are a little older, I thought I’d surprise her for her birthday.”

Desiree’s face turned sour for a split second. “Well, isn’t that… sweet,” she said with a fake smile.

“It’s nothing interesting.”

“I guess not,” she said with a wave. “I guess I’ll be going then. You wouldn’t want to walk a lady to her room?”

“Goodnight, Desiree,” I said sternly.

“Suit yourself. But you know where to find me,” she said with a wink.

She walked down the hall and disappeared around a corner. I still made sure to lock the door to my bedroom.

My run-in with Desiree didn’t help to take my mind off Willa. Really it made it worse. As I lay in bed, I found myself comparing them, pointing out every way Willa was not like her. I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Willa directing that temper of hers toward Des. I knew firsthand my mate had one hell of a right hook. I would pay to see that happen one day. I couldn’t wait to see the look on Des’s face when she learned Willa was my fated mate.

My chest tightened. I reminded myself that would only happen if she ever found out about Willa. Which was something that may never be possible. I rubbed my hands over my face and rolled over, trying to fall asleep. But I only ended up spending the entire night tossing and turning. I finally gave up around sunrise.

I decided to go for a run. I changed into sweats and a T-shirt and laced up my running shoes. I grabbed some headphones and my phone for music and remembered that I had promised Willa she could call her father today. It was probably better to do it sooner rather than later. If her dad decided to come into our territory, he would likely get himself killed. The last thing I wanted was to be the cause of her losing her other parent. Especially when I was still trying to convince her I wasn’t behind the death of the first.