3. Twenty- eight

~ Harper’s POV ~ 

I knew that I was the one who told Zara that I was going to wait for her. I remembered how close I was to kissing her when I had said that she could take some time away from me, even be with that rogue Ethan if that's what she wanted. If that's what she needed. I wanted to show her that I was in the long haul and that I would do anything for her.

But that doesn't mean that it didn't hurt every time I saw them together. It's like a piercing kind of pain that starts in my chest and then travels down my torso until it becomes a pool of heat in my stomach. And if I'm not capitalizing enough, it hurts like hell. 

I hadn't planned to introduce my son to Harper in the way I had. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision. I had been told that Zara was in the hospital, sitting with Samantha in Aiden's room and I couldn't help but walk in that direction, I just couldn't wait to see her. I hadn't expected that Zara would be in the same room as Natalie but again she surprised me with her strength of character. Zara knew that Samantha needed her at that moment and she chose to set aside her feelings and be there for her best friend. I couldn't even express how proud I felt of her. I felt gracious and proud that the moon goddess had paired me with her, with Zara, who could be selfless when need be and had the true makings of the perfect Luna. 

I knew Zara always doubted herself if she would ever be able to be a Luna when she was human and didn't even know the werewolf ways but truly, she didn't need to. The customs and rituals one can easily learn as the days pass by, what one can't learn are the traits for leadership. Strength and not just physical strength, but psychological strength. The selflessness of serving others. Taking responsibility and courage to be accountable if you do something wrong. 

I knew Zara even if she didn't know it herself, but the simple act of coming forward for Samantha in her time of need, when they were in such unsteady waters, was everything a leader embodied. Zara might have done it without a second thought and that was what made her so damn delectable in the moment. My wolf had howled with pride and I just knew in that moment that the right thing would be to show her how much I loved and needed her, by just being honest with her. 

And so, I had asked her to come with me and I had taken her to the hospital room Mason was in. He was in the semi-awake state all babies seemed to be in when we walked in. If Zara was nervous, she didn't show it, which just made me want to turn around and hold her in my arms forever. If I had done that, I would have scared her away so I picked up my son and introduced him to my mate. 

The scene was bittersweet in so many ways. I was introducing my son to my mate. It was all wrong and so damn ironic. 

I had always thought I would one day have a child with my mate, regardless of the struggles we white wolves face with procreating. When I found out that Zara, a human, was my mate, I cursed and cursed the moon goddess because she couldn't have paired me with a less similar person. I had kept her away from me for so long and even went as far as to reject her, which made me hate myself, which made my wolf hate me. I knew if I decided to be with her, I would break her. Our inability to create a child would put a strain on our relationship, it would break Zara and she would hate me. I didn't want to see that look in her eyes, even when I had just begun to notice her in the school hallways, I knew I could never do anything to hurt her, so I pushed her away. 

And that had come back to bite me in the ass. It took me so long to realize that I didn't need to push her away. Maybe, instead of me breaking her, she might join my pieces together. Even if that lesson came a little too late, I knew I would do everything to have her by my side. 

During that time, I kept all thoughts of children away and focused on what was the best thing in my life, my mate. 

And now here I was standing with my son in my arms, with my mate by my side. As I looked down at Mason, I felt a sense of protectiveness wash over me. At times, I still had difficulty believing that he was mine. 

Two of the most important people in my life were in the same room and I felt elated beyond measure. I didn't know what Zara was feeling, if she was as composed as she was projecting but I was so content in the moment that I smiled at her. 

When she took my son from my arms, I expected her to stiffen, maybe show some sign of awkwardness. I didn't know if I was overstepping my boundaries, if I was doing something shouldn't. There wasn't exactly a rulebook to follow in these situations. I was just doing what my wolf wanted me to, what my heart wanted me to, and right now, all parts of me wanted to live this moment to the fullest. 

I had said Zara was the love of my life and it was true. It wasn't my intent to pressure her into feeling obligated to me, it was just something I wanted to say, something I needed for her to hear. It was the exact introduction I wanted to give my son because even though he was my son, Zara was the love of my life. Without her, I was incomplete. To me, it was that simple and I was willing to give Zara all the time she needed to be sure of me. 

When I took in the full image of my beautiful and extraordinary mate holding my son, it was the perfect moment for me, to be stored in my memory for years to come. I couldn't help myself then, I had placed my arms around her and brought her close to me. I hugged her as tightly as I could while she was carrying the baby. 

It gave me satisfaction and hope when she didn't shy away or reject my advances. It made my heart beat faster when we stayed like this for several minutes and only parted when Mason was asleep. 

I had guided her out of the room and that's when reality had set in. The worst part about being a leader was that you had to give certain news to people that you didn't exactly like. Nevertheless, I had promised myself that I would say true to my word and had told Zara that as Ethan was now a temporary part of the pack, he would have to come to the pack training sessions. 

Without thinking twice, I blurted, “Also, I would like you to come to train too." I was speechless for a moment when her eyebrows raised and her face grew blank. I didn't want to offend her in any way, even though it was true that I did want her to train. Training with the wolves would lead her to become independent in her own right and she would learn to hold her own against a wolf. I knew my mate was a strong woman and she was no damsel in distress, but to deal with a werewolf, she would have to train. It had nothing to do with me not being able to protect her, but even I wasn't as egoistic as to believe that she wouldn't need to protect herself at some point. 

She had looked at me with a wicked gleam in her eye as if she knew something I didn't, and without missing a beat, she agreed to come to the practice. 

I didn't want her to go. I wanted to spend more time with her but I knew that she would need to sleep because it's just what she did. I knew that she would need her energy for the training sessions. 

I watched her walk away from me and every step she took seemed to deflate me a bit as corny as those sounds. As soon as she turned the corner, I mind-linked the pack warrior who watched over the training sessions that two extra people would come from now on. 

Earlier, I had conducted the pack sessions for the newly adult wolves of the pack but ever since the rogue attack in which Dad was injured, I couldn't make time for it. I had pawned off the duty to an experienced warrior who I knew would never neglect this duty while I drowned in paperwork and other alpha duties. 

But now that my beautiful mate was coming to the training session, I just knew that I would somehow make the time.