Breakdown Part 32

ALEX'S P.O.V

Self-pity, embarrassment and shame override her entire being. What the fuck is wrong with her, with her dammed nature? How the fuck did she not know? How the fuck did she not sense it? Why did her body betray her this way? She literally took suppressants not so long ago, why is this happening now to her? She huffed hands clasping the sink and she prayed the Earth have pity on her and swallow her whole.

It is her body, how could she not detect the changes. She has never willingly been intimate with someone before Noah. Perhaps that is why she naturally thought the increase in her sex drive was due to the raging endorphins spurring her hormones.

Argh! Common, she should have known better. She should have been able to treat every changes in his own body as they come. For goodness sake she is the damned doctor with extraordinary capabilities and she couldn't get that right? How foolish she has been indulging her uncontrollable, insatiable, irresponsible parts of herself. She been so foolish thinking she's being safe, in reality she has been living as if there are no real consequences to her stupid nature.

Okay, breathe. So what, Noah and his mother knows of her nature. His mom is cool with her decision, Noah can live with her decision too.

Argh! She literally took the suppressants pills like about three days ago and the signs are supposed to remain dormant for at least seven days, unless. Agh. She's an idiot. She has been with an alpha the entire week including an additional two days with an alpha who happens to be her fated mate. Therefore her body must have naturally responded to his alpha pheromones. Dang, that's what Noah's mother pointed out but she was still in her own head to pay attention

Oh shit. He knows (she internally whines). Now he knows how disgusting she is. What if he brushes her one side just like how omegas are generally mistreated. Will she thinks back to the incidents that led her to even be at Moon University.

Will his alpha even fathom the thought whatever happened to her was well deserved because of her forsaken nature? Her own mother insinuated it the day she arrived and she witnessed the bruises on her body, she looked over her words in favor for the alpha.

She literally cast her dreams one side and since then been closed off, depressed and and maybe suicidal. Well that was until the day she received a phone call from Moon administrations and without a doubt she  accepted the offer for a full scholarship. She felt very privileged to that one call that changed her life. She left her childhood home and tried to forget the unforgettable painful memories.

WAIT.

Did the idiot just mention Toby? At this very moment he knocks on the door and has the audacity to mention the name of another omega. During her well-deserved hysteria Noah dares utter the name of one of his best friends fated! To hell with the fact they are friends in this moment she literally feels like his being driven over the edge.

Not to be dramatic but her entire world was falling apart. But no, Noah want to mention Toby his 'friend' not caring about the way she would feel. Her shield and walls, everything in his life right now was either coming back or crumbling to dust. Then he mentions Toby. Toby?! What the hell does Toby have to do with this? Her nature has just revealed itself, it has nothing to do with that perfect omega. Damn, never has he ever despised Toby more than she did this day.

Hell. Ending this thing between them, this. Whatever. This is would be better than to mention another's name, especially when she's this upset. Leo's jealousy was totally justifiable now that she is going through the same situation. Perhaps it is just his irrational insecurities fucking her over?

Fuming anger accompanied her out of the bathroom but instead of the fury she expected, instead tears escaped. There was just so much going on and her brain refuses to just stop and give her some time to breath. Blow after blow, she's tired.

She has been tired for so long, she just wanted to be in a ditch somewhere and die. She's gone on long enough and it is so hard existing. She cannot breath, her body is numb and she's faint headed. Yes, she's now hyperventilating and not being able to breathe hurts. Gabbing her blue asthma pump, she gulped in two pumps that would definitely help her lungs.

Gosh, she's not just having a bad day, it feels like she's having a bad life. Fate knows she must be the worst sight in this world and existing in this universes. Ahh she's just so tired!

Parker got her number, literally the past does not allow her the respect as well as the bliss of forgetting. She's tired, her face must be puffy, red and depressing to look at. Ahhhhh she's tired!

Her father left her and she was forced to live her entire childhood questioning if it was because of her. Why didn't he stay? Why didn't he protect her? Why did he not choose her? She was his baby girl...

'Ahhh. I am just so tired! My tired is tired at this point.'

Her eyes must be puffy, all she has on is her bra and panties she managed to grab. Now she does not feel alone but with her body size and mental distress she feel ten times worse. She pulled the blanket to cover what must be the worst sight existing. The arms wrapped around her sobbing body did not register. She's too exhausted.

Her mother has abandoned her again by giving her damn tormentor her number and she cut her off financially. She's been abandoned by her mother again and again and that just made her feel so numb.

She somehow managed to be beyond broken. No, she's whatever that is below broken. Her armour that has been protecting her for years is on pieces and the pieces now lay scattered around the room. There is no way a perfect alpha and man would choose to deal with this much brokenness. So, in conclusion this is how it ends. This is the end of their love story, the end of his Axx and her Noah... It even hurts more just thinking about it.

"Baby..."

"DO NOT TOUCH ME! Just say it I can take it."

[No we can't]

She expects Noah to walk out faster than her father did in her life, hate her as much as her mother hated her nature.

"Say what?"

"I don't know. You leaving me for someone like Toby. I deserve my luck."

She's tired. Why is this man still here?

"What are you talking about??"

"I don't know anymore! I have worked so hard to hide my nature. I worked on being so invisible, I am literally on the background. Unlike other packs in mine, omega means weakness."

"Axx..."

She interrupts whatever the man wanted to say. She felt so numb she did not care anymore, about anything.

"I am a Rouge. I ran away from my previous pack like a coward. I ran away from my birth pack because of what has been haunting me. I wanted to forget it all but this disease I have never wish me to live down. Every second, minute, the touch. I did not deserve what happened to me... Dammit. It was not my fault! I know the hierarchy situations in packs but no alpha have the right to treat anyone below him... or her like that."

This time slow motionless tears flooded her rational mind. Parker was going for the win again. Soon emotions of her torture, will be called mating blues and swept under the carpet. How is this fair? How is nothing fair?

"What? Alex just tell me what is bothering you and as your alpha, give me a chance to assist you."

"I do not like how weak I am. At least before my weakness wasn't because of the fact I am omega, now it is and I hate it. I hate I got mad when you mentioned Toby. Although what scared me more than the thought of losing you was the message my mom sent me."

She paused and faced the black television before she started once more. She feel so hopeless, worthless and so cheap to think her own mother want her to suffer the remainder of her life with the devil. She pointed at her phone and Noah took it unlocking the screen with the password he stole. The alpha fumed and I turned my back on him not caring he destroys my phone.

"I can survive on my own but I have to be realistic. I applied to Moon University, managing to bag a scholarship to study medicine. I wanted to pay her back for everything and not feel obligated to set foot into that broken home again."

Numb. She did not care what happens after her confession, she will have to make it even if she's on her own.

"She said Parker would like to marry an omega like me. As if it is a privilege for me to end up with that monster that broke me. She wants me to visit more and she thinks suffering in a loveless marriage will make me do so. I will have to make use the suppressants your mom gave me and figure everything out from there. I escaped from that life once and I refuse to go back there again. I simply refuse. I will not."

"Alexandria!"

His voice boomed, distracting her disinterested self-pity and inner turmoil. Her wolf who was as frantic as she was just sat down, their attention directed towards the alpha. They did not panic or fear the man wiping her tears away with a warm damp towel.

"You will not be obligated to marry anyone. You are my fated, my gift. To touch you means they will have to go through me first. No one will claim you but me. Do you understand?"

She nods but that did not stop her tears from falling tainting Noah words with her pain.

"You are not alone whatever you need ask and it is yours. I am your Alpha I want to take care of you. Not because I think you cannot take care of yourself, cause I know you can. It is just my duty to make sure to catch you before you fall. You have a pack now. Our pack. You are not alone anymore, lean on me and give yourself time to relax."

Shit why is she attracted to this side if Noah. Maybe it was her stupid omega hormones speaking. She finds herself attracted to this dominant, possessive side of Noah. Sensing her willingness she felt the larger man engulf and feast on her body as it was his last meal.

.

.

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NOAH'S P.O.V

"Move in with me and I will respect your wishes and not book sessions for you to speak to mom (his mother is a therapist)."

"Noah. I do not want to make my problems yours."

"Be my mate. Then 'your' problems will be our problems."

He did not want to scare his Axx away but now he want to prove that his beautiful mate can depend on him.

"That sounds hot. But no. I would never bond with you, just to roll in with baggage."

"As my mate you will be inclined to trust me with your 'baggage'."

"Um. I will move in but I promise it will be temporary and I will pull my weight. Mmm. I can cook, clean and do laundry. I will get a part time job to pay some of the rent. I will start taking my suppressants once more to avoid my heats and keep my status unknown."

That is as far as he knows he will get with his stubborn lover. Pushing her could result in her also pushing away and she will end living with other man.

"I agree with everything but heats usually last for a week, why not give me those."

"My nature, my body, my rules. Let me tell Lucas and Leo first."

He pulled his mate closer and she automatically rested her head on his chest. He played with her hair, she lifted her head and kissed him before breaking seconds later.

"I love you, I just want you close to me. At least with this merge my kitchen will not be deemed depressing, when we get back we will go shopping for the things you will need and. Besides I will need furniture and equipment, to be quite honest living alone I never saw the need for a lot of things. You can go pick things out and I will just come over and pay?"

"There's no need-"

"Axx, allow me to be your alpha. You can go out with Leo and for the sake of not upsetting you further I will mention Lucas."

"You really hate shopping, huh?"

"I enter a shop pick out what I came there for and leave. You go to a shop look around, go to another and another till you realize the day is gone."

"Shut up."

They laughed and Alex playfully punched him, imagining their perfect future with children. He knows his thinking ahead of time but he can't help himself, his omega is just one of the kind.

"You know. I hated all alphas and if it was not for Lucas, my hatred would have been a cancer, in turn destroying me. Then later I fell for an alpha, many would say it was fate's plan but I calls it destiny. I cannot find it in me to despise all alphas but sometimes it is hard you know, to face and tolerate them. I cannot believe I fell in love with one after everything. Thank you."

"I love you my little mate. Now rest beloved we take off at eleven so you only like three hours to sleep."

"Yeah wait. I have to use your mom's much stronger suppressants."

"Okay but hurry back.

You can't beat stubborn and joining stubborn is not productive so he decided to choose what battles his willing to fight... The one of suppressants ain't it.

Mate. Yes. Axx is soon going to make him, her alpha and hopefully mate.