Clouds on the Horizon

“Napakaganda n'yo, Miss Cha.” Iminulat ko ang aking mga mata at tiningnan ang aking sarili sa salamin.

Marahan akong ngumiti nang mapansing tama nga siya. Napakaganda ng pagkakagawa niya sa makeup.

Sa sobrang ganda noon ay parang hindi nababagay sa akin. It just built my insecurities and anxiety even more. Thinking that even if I look this pretty, I'll still never appreciate myself.

“Panigurado maglalaway ang groom ninyo,” saad ni Trina habang patuloy na inaayos ang eyeliner.

Humagikhik pa siya ng bahagya kaya't napatawa rin ako kahit ang totoo ay alam ko namang hindi mangyayari ang bagay na iyon. Lionel is just… impossible.

“Hindi naman siguro,” sambit ko at saka malungkot na napangiti.

“Huh? Bakit naman po? Hindi ka ba nagagandahan sa ayos niyo ngayon?” aligagang tanong niya. Napaawang ang bibig ko sa gulat at napailing ako agad. Hindi ganoon ang ibig kong sabihin! Baka masamain niya.

“A-Ano, hindi ganoon. A-Ang ganda nga, eh,” nakangiting sabi ko. “Hindi lang ako sigurado kung magugustuhan niya.”

Iyon ang totoo. Sa palagay ko ay sobrang ganda ng pagkakaayos niya sa akin. Pero kahit ganoon ay hindi ko magawang tangkilikin ang ganda noon. It just feels like the makeup is too pretty for me to fit in.

At saka alam ko namang hindi ako magugustuhan ni Lionel. He wouldn’t like anything about me.

“Magtiwala ka sa akin, Miss Charlotte. Napakaganda mo ngayon.” Inayos niya ang ilang hibla ng aking buhok bago nagpatuloy. “Mas maganda kaysa noong engagement party niyo ni Sir Ri-”

My breathing hitched, and I suddenly looked at her through the mirror. My lips parted, almost begging her not to mention the engagement party again. Iyon ang pangyayaring ayaw na ayaw kong alalahanin kahit kailan.

And as much as possible, I don’t want anyone to mention it in front of me. They can mention the person, but not the event.

Mukhang nakuha niya naman agad iyon kaya't nakagat niya ang labi niya at saka humingi ng paumanhin.

“Sorry po.”

“A-Ayos lang. Pasensya ka na rin. Nagulat lang ako.” Nginitian ko siya bago ako muling tumitig sa salamin habang nag-iisip. It feels very heavy, but I know that I have to continue no matter what. Wala na rin naman akong ibang choice, eh.

Lumabas si Trina sa kwarto para makapagbihis ako pero ito ako, patuloy pa ring nag-iisip kung tama ba ang gagawin ko.

I feel very convinced that I should do this, pero ngayon pa mismo ako nag dalawang-isip.

Maliit na sakripisyo lang ito, Charlotte! This fake marriage is just a small sacrifice compared to what they did to save my father! Maliit na sakripisyo lang ang pagpapakasal upang maisalba ang kompanya nina Lionel. This is nothing compared to how… his father sacrificed his life in order to save my parents.

Kinain ako ng guilt at awa dahil sa nangyari. If it weren't because of them, maybe my mom and dad already died.

Kaya mas lalo ako dapat na hindi umatras. Saving their company by this fraudulent marriage is a small sacrifice. Dahil sa oras na makaahon na ang pamilya nila, I know that we can end this without any mess.

I hope I can do this well. I hope kaya kong panindigan ang gagawin kong ito. After all, hindi naman iba si Lionel sa akin.

“Sweetie.” Pinunasan ko ang aking mga luha at nakangiting nilingon ang pinto. Nakita ko si Mommy na pumasok kaya't sinalubong ko siya kaagad upang yakapin.

“Mommy? You need anything po?” Nakangiting tanong ko nang makabitaw sa pagkakayakap at hinawakan ang kamay niya para alalayan siyang maupo.

However, my smile slowly faded when I saw how sad she looked. Malungkot ang kaniyang mata at walang tigil sa pagpapakawala ng buntong hininga. It feels like she wants to tell me something, and it’s stressing her out.

At mukhang tama ako.

“Sweetie, are you sure about this?” she asked with so much frustration as she squeezed my hand

Bahagya akong napatawa dahil sa tanong niya. She's been convincing me to think about it twice or simply neglect the marriage. Pero kahit nag-aalinlangan ako ay itutuloy ko pa rin ito. We’ve made it this far, at ngayong pumayag na si Lionel na pakasalan ako para sa negosyo nila ay hindi na ako makakaatras.

And I never want to step back.

“Ni hindi mo nga boyfriend ang mapapangasawa mo. You barely even know him,” she continued.

However, I just smiled and shook my head. I will never turn back. Hindi ko alam kung paano ipapaintindi iyon kay Mommy.

Daddy supported me with my decision after we talked about it thoroughly pero si Mommy ang nag-aalinlangan kahit noong simula pa lang.

“Mommy, please let me do this. I will be fine. Besides, Mr. Alicante saved you and Daddy from a bullet and this can help their company.”

“Sweetie, that guilt is not for you to bear-!”

“But Mommy, this small sacrifice is nothing compared to-”

“Charlotte Katherine, marriage is not a small thing!” she cut me off. Bakas sa kaniyang mukha ang galit dahil sa sinabi ko.

I smiled when I realized that she looks even more frustrated. Alam ko namang malaking bagay ang pagpapakasal pero sa palagay ko ay mas maliit ito kumpara sa bagay na ginawa ng tatay ni Lionel.

So to mend her frustration, niyakap ko si Mommy para kumbinsihing magiging maayos lang ang lahat. I’m sure I will be okay. I’m sure… Lionel won’t hurt me.

“I know po, Mommy. Pero let me, okay? Sir Maximus Alicante sacrificed his life for the two of you. If this marriage can help his family and their business, I'd gladly help them,” saad ko at kumalas sa pagkakayakap.

My mother only sighed in defeat. Si Daddy ay pumayag na rin dito, and so as Tita Lea, Lionel’s mom.

Habang si Lionel... hindi ko alam. Hindi ko na siya muling nakausap matapos ang gabing iyon ng hindi namin pagkakaintindihan. We were very close and he was very caring. Pero matapos namin mapag-usapan ang tungkol dito… naging malupit na siya sa akin.

“It seems like I can't stop you anymore,” ani Mommy. “Just tell me if your husband did something wrong or if you'll have a feud, alright? Iuuwi talaga kita,” aniya.

I laughed a bit and nodded. “Why don't you help me put on the gown po?” tanong ko sa kaniya.

Sabay kaming tumayo at tinulungan niya ako sa pagsusuot ng gown.

I looked at myself from the big mirror while my mother is organizing my veil. Nakangiti at bahagya siyang lumuluha habang ginagawa iyon.

The laced off the shoulder dress hugged my body perfectly. My long and curly hair is done in a messy updo style that looks really beautiful.

“If this is your real wedding, I'd be very happy,” sambit ni Mommy.

I simply smiled at her, hindi alam kung anong dapat kong sabihin.

All I know is that this wedding will really change my life from now on.

“Alam kong sobra ang hinihiling ko. All I want is for your family to help our business rise again in any way possible.” Tita Lea held my hand and cried.

My lips parted and I immediately did my best to comfort her. Simula nang mawala si Tito Maximus, unti-unting nanghina ang business deals nila.

Executives slowly pulled out their investments due to the lack of power. Tita Lea is not enough for the eyes of them. Habang si Lionel... naiintindihan ko kung mas pipiliin niya ang kaniyang propesyon bilang piloto dahil pangarap niya ito. But how about their business?

“I promise, once we have the chance to rise again, we'll pay you back,” Tita Lea said.

At this rate, it'll be hard to help them. If we merely buy stocks, the trust of the investors wouldn't be invested in them... but to us.

My father wouldn't also agree to merge with their company just like that. The sudden merge would cause rumors like...

Like a relationship between both the heirs of the family.

Kaya’t iyon ang pinanindigan namin.

“Are you ready?” Nilingon ko si Daddy nang makababa ako sa bridal car.

Tumayo kami sa harap ng pinto ng simbahan. Hinawakan ko ang braso ni Daddy habang si Mommy naman ay nauna na kaninang pumasok sa loob.

“Opo,” tugon ko.

Narinig ko ang pag buntong hininga niya bago siya muling bumaling sa'kin.

“Do you... want to call off the wedding?”  Gulat kong nilingon si Daddy dahil doon. He looks very tense.

“Po?” Nagtataka kong tanong.

“Anak, I hope you understand why–”

Before he could finish the sentence, the huge doors of the church already opened. Only a few people are inside like how Lionel wanted it. Alam ko ang patutunguhan nito. Maaari niyang itago at itanggi ang lahat hangga’t gusto niya. I’ll be silent about it, but this nuptial will never be hidden forever.

Pag-uusapan at pag-uusapan ng lahat ang kasalang Belmonte-Alicante. And no one could do anything about it.

“You don’t have to feel guilty, Dad. This is also my decision,” saad ko at nilingon siya habang nakangiti.

My Dad’s tears fell as we started walking together towards the altar. I know the reason why we’re doing this. I know that my Dad did not only agree just because we owe the Alicante’s. This marriage can also stop the Lacorte's heir from rooting on marrying me.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa altar at ang malamig na mga mata ni Lionel ang sumalubong sa akin. I tried to smile at him even if his gaze is as cold as ice. My tears fell as the tune of my favorite song started playing.

A few photographers and stockholders are there as witnesses of the marriage. Nakatayo lamang si Lionel sa dulo ng altar habang malamig na nakatingin sa sahig. Bagay na bagay sa kaniya ang suot na puting long sleeves na polo at itim na slacks. Malinis na nakaayos ang buhok na nagiging dahilan upang mas maipakita ang kagwapuhan niya.

His deep-set eyes, narrow nose, his lips, and defined jawline looks very perfect... almost looks like the man I love. Lionel looks so much like him.

“I hope you’ll take care of my daughter.” Muli lamang akong natauhan nang marinig ang tinig ni Daddy at nang maaninag si Lionel sa aking harapan.

Muli akong nag-angat ng tingin at nakita ang pagtango niya kay Daddy. My lips parted when my Dad slowly lets go of my hand... giving it to the man I’ll marry.

Inihawak ko ang aking kamay sa braso ni Lionel at saka kami sabay na naglakad patungo sa harap ng pari na magkakasal sa amin.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. However, he ignored me.

I felt sad but determined during the whole ceremony. I’m willing to face Lionel’s wrath right when we get home to our new house. He has all the rights to be mad at me. We barely know each other, and I pushed this marriage. Sino ba namang tanga ang magpapasalamat sa ganoon?

Sa buong seremonya ay kitang-kita ko ang galit at pagkamuhi niya sa akin. I don’t even know if he has a girlfriend or someone special. All I know is that he hates me.

Kahit ganoon ay ayos lang. Matatapos din naman ito. Sana lang… makisama siya.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. Lionel, you may now kiss CK— your beautiful wife.” Nabalik ako sa huwisyo at napatingin sa pari nang sabihin niya iyon.

I blinked a few times before looking at Lionel’s cold eyes. He looks more serious now that it almost made me tremble in fear.

His gaze sent shivers to my spine, and fear immediately overpowered my system as he aggressively held my wrist and pulled me for an intimate kiss.

Kasabay ng kaniyang halik ay ang pagtulo ng aking luha. I know he’ll never love me... and I’ll never love him. But I’ll still respect him as my husband as long as we’re married... and I hope he’ll do the same.