All Chapters of My Life Long Crush: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

Claire Evie and her father, Rawls, were like family. Evie and I met in pre-school when we were only three years old. She had just lost her mom in a car accident. She was really shy and sat by herself at the back of the room. . I was the shy girl as well, so we both just gravitated towards each other. We were both only children, which was another way that we bonded. From pre-school until Evie left for college, we were together almost every day. We were both going to major in social work when we went to college. My parents could not afford for me to go away to college. I went to the local community college which was going to save time and money in the long run. To be able to pay for tuition, I worked full time, applied for grants, and even got a few scholarships for my grades. The community college only allowed me to complete my Associates Degree. The rest of my classes were taken online to get my Bachelors Degree. I was able to finish in three years so I could start my career early. I

I was not expecting for Evie to come home again so soon. She is always “taking a break” from her college experience. At this rate, it may take her until she is thirty before she finishes her degree. The degree is still another issue. She has changed majors so many times that I have no idea what kind of degree she will finally receive. I wish I knew where I had gone wrong with her. I had the help of Robert and Mary Edwards, my friends for over twenty years. They had a daughter, Claire, that was the same age as Evie. I had hoped with their help and having Claire to keep her company, things would have turned out better. Claire and Evie were different as night and day. They have been thick as thieves ever since they were three years old in preschool. After my wife, Fiona, died in a car accident, I was a wreck. I had no idea how to take care of a little girl. If it wasn’t for my best friends, Robert and Mary Edwards, I would not have made it through. Fiona took care of Evie. I was busy tr

Having Claire sitting here in my pajama top is better than anything than I could ever dream of. I know on the surface this is wrong for me to do. I have feelings for her. These feelings are not just physical. There is something about her that just draws me into her. She is the flame and I am the moth. I know that she is Evie’s best friend. I feel like a dirty old man for having feelings for a girl - correct that woman so much younger than I am. Tonight when she called me because she was in trouble, I felt something inside of me I have not felt in a very long time. I have not felt needed in a long time. I love my daughter but ever since she was sixteen the only thing she needed from me was my wallet. Now sitting here in the kitchen with her wearing my shirt and sipping her hot chocolate, I feel a need to protect her. To care for her. The fact she is in trouble does not make it better. I know I should walk away. She is too young. She has a life. I am an older man. She deserves some

It has been a few days since I have seen Claire. I have not even seen her sitting in her bedroom window when I get home after work. I know that I have hurt her, and I have not been able to sleep since the other night. Seeing those tears in her eyes felt like a punch in the stomach. I never want to hurt Claire. I want to protect her and let her know how I feel about her. Unfortunately, what I want and what is best for Claire is for me to fight those feelings. I know that I was sacrificing what happiness I could find with Claire, but there were too many people that would get hurt if I pursued a relationship with her. As I was driving home from work, my mind is racing with thoughts of Claire. Her bright blue eyes and warm smile has haunted his every waking moment since our night together. I was just going to have to find an excused to walk over to her house. I needed to check on her or I would never be able to sleep again. It was almost like I could feel the pain she was feeling, and I

Days turned into weeks, and I threw myself into my work, hoping to drown out the thoughts of Claire. The late nights and early mornings became a numbing routine, a welcome distraction from the ache in my heart. But no matter how much I tried; I could not shake the feeling that I was lying to myself. Every time I drove by her house, every time I saw her car parked in her parent's driveway, I felt a longing for something that I could not have and something I should not want. One evening, my friend, David, called me with a crazy idea. "You need to get out there again, buddy," he said. "I've got this friend, Jenna, and she's interested in going out with you. I have set you up on a blind date. Trust me, you'll thank me for it." I hesitated because I did not want to be with any other woman but Claire. David was insistent and he said he would do a double date with me if that would make it easier. I know he is looking out for me, but I am not really into dating again. The night of the bli