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Chapter 2 - Rawls
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2024-09-28 10:29:23I was not expecting for Evie to come home again so soon. She is always “taking a break” from her college experience. At this rate, it may take her until she is thirty before she finishes her degree. The degree is still another issue. She has changed majors so many times that I have no idea what kind of degree she will finally receive. I wish I knew where I had gone wrong with her. I had the help of Robert and Mary Edwards, my friends for over twenty years. They had a daughter, Claire, that was the same age as Evie. I had hoped with their help and having Claire to keep her company, things would have turned out better.
Claire and Evie were different as night and day. They have been thick as thieves ever since they were three years old in preschool. After my wife, Fiona, died in a car accident, I was a wreck. I had no idea how to take care of a little girl. If it wasn’t for my best friends, Robert and Mary Edwards, I would not have made it through. Fiona took care of Evie. I was busy trying to make a name for myself in the real estate business. I loved my family but I wanted to be able to provide for them. I had grown up poor without a father in the house and I never wanted that for my daughter. I think I spoiled Evie way too much and that is why she is acting the way she is and not taking anything seriously. She didn’t have responsibilities the same way that Claire did. The Edwards’ were two hard working people but they weren’t rich money wise, but they provided for Claire the best that they could. I took care of Evie, but with money instead of being a parent like I should have been. I had nannies when I had to work late. I had tutors when she did not do well in school. I bailed her out of so many things when she was a teenager, the bail bondsman was on speed dial. Thankfully, I was able to keep all of her indiscretions out of court. I wanted her to get her act together and be a grown up for once. Evie is twenty-two years old and should finally be graduating, but I have this sinking feeling that her unexpected trip home is not good news. Whenever she just pops up, something is going on at school. I can afford to send her to school as long as she wants to go but this is getting ridiculous. Claire finished her social work program in three years and has been interning for a year. She will start her full time work very soon. I am a horrible father and person. I know more about what is going one with my friends daughter than I know about my own. I have seen Claire grow into a beautiful woman and I am having thoughts I should not have for her. I see her sitting in her bedroom window seat when I get home at night. She doesn’t think I can see her. It makes me feel guilty when I happen to have a woman with me. I have my needs. These women mean nothing to me, but I cannot be celibate. It took me a long time after Fiona died, to start seeing women again. It is still only for sex, I have never wanted a serious relationship with any of them. Maybe I am becoming senile as I am getting older. I am having hot and very sexually inappropriate dreams about Claire. She is my Evie’s best friend and the daughter of my best friends. I feel like such a dirty old man. I have seen Claire grow up. She has had sleepovers at my house. I have driven her and Evie to birthday parties. I have attended Claire’s birthday parties. But now, I want to kiss every inch of her beautiful skin. I want to know how she tastes. I want to know what it feels like to kiss her. I wake up every morning and have to jerk myself off to just be able to even get out of bed. I can’t continue this way. Plus, there is no way that I can act on these feelings. I need to find a distraction. I am tired of the random woman hook ups, but that may be the only way to get Claire off of my mind before I do something really stupid.Related chapters
My Life Long Crush Chapter 3 - Claire
My first week on the job has been so hectic. My case load is huge. I have twenty different families that I am responsible for. That is a large number for a newbie like me. My supervisor, Janice Hayes, said that with my internship, I had proven myself to be able to handle that large of a work load. I am glad that she has such faith in me, but it scares me. I don’t want to disappoint her, the families I am responsible for, or my parents. I know they tell me they don’t need my help financially but I want to take care of them like they cared of me. I am so deep into the case files from today, that I don’t realize every one has already left for the day. It is only myself and the cleaning staff left in the building. “Miss Claire, what are you still doing here?” I look up and it’s Thelma. She and I have become very close since I have been here. She’s like another mother to me. She is always on me about making sure I eat and is always bringing me homemade treats. I think she is trying to f
Last Updated : 2024-09-28My Life Long Crush Chapter 4 - Rawls
Having Claire sitting here in my pajama top is better than anything than I could ever dream of. I know on the surface this is wrong for me to do. I have feelings for her. These feelings are not just physical. There is something about her that just draws me into her. She is the flame and I am the moth. I know that she is Evie’s best friend. I feel like a dirty old man for having feelings for a girl - correct that woman so much younger than I am. Tonight when she called me because she was in trouble, I felt something inside of me I have not felt in a very long time. I have not felt needed in a long time. I love my daughter but ever since she was sixteen the only thing she needed from me was my wallet. Now sitting here in the kitchen with her wearing my shirt and sipping her hot chocolate, I feel a need to protect her. To care for her. The fact she is in trouble does not make it better. I know I should walk away. She is too young. She has a life. I am an older man. She deserves some
Last Updated : 2024-10-19My Life Long Crush Chapter 5 - Claire
I know that running out of the house the way I did was childish, but I just had to get away. I wanted Rawls so much, but I was so scared at the same time. I had dreamed of being alone with him, but I was not prepared for how it made me feel. I know that he had to see that my cheeks were red. I could feel the heat rising in my face the closer we moved towards each other. I wanted so badly for Rawls to kiss me. I had wanted that for so long. But after how quickly he tried to remove my hand from his cheek, I knew then that this was just a stupid crush. There was no way a man like Rawls would ever want me, romantically or intimately. I was foolish to think I could be anymore to him than Evie’s best friend. Thankfully, when I walked into the house, mom and dad had already gone to bed. My mom would know something was wrong as soon as she looked at me. I held back my tears as long as I could, but they started falling as soon as I started towards my house. I eased open the back door and we
Last Updated : 2024-11-21My Life Long Crush Chapter 6 - Rawls
It has been a few days since I have seen Claire. I have not even seen her sitting in her bedroom window when I get home after work. I know that I have hurt her, and I have not been able to sleep since the other night. Seeing those tears in her eyes felt like a punch in the stomach. I never want to hurt Claire. I want to protect her and let her know how I feel about her. Unfortunately, what I want and what is best for Claire is for me to fight those feelings. I know that I was sacrificing what happiness I could find with Claire, but there were too many people that would get hurt if I pursued a relationship with her. As I was driving home from work, my mind is racing with thoughts of Claire. Her bright blue eyes and warm smile has haunted his every waking moment since our night together. I was just going to have to find an excused to walk over to her house. I needed to check on her or I would never be able to sleep again. It was almost like I could feel the pain she was feeling, and I
Last Updated : 2024-12-01My Life Long Crush Chapter 7 – Claire and Rawls
. Mary was the first to speak that broke the tension. "So, Claire, tell us about your day. You have been working such long hours lately and we haven't been able to catch up." I could see that Claire really did not want to say a word, because she was just picking at her dinner. I needed to figure out a way to get her by herself to see how she is and try to explain how I am feeling as well. "It was the same old stuff. Just work." I did not even look up from my plate, because I could not look into Rawls’ eyes. I know that the only thing I would see there was pity. He had to see me as some love sick puppy. Her voice was strained, and the sadness in it was like a punch to my gut. She clearly did not want to be here, across from me, but the thought of her mother's interrogation was probably worse. I completely understood. If I were in her shoes, I would want to avoid the topic of my love life too, especially if it was a sore spot for me. After dinner, Rawls offered to help clean up the
Last Updated : 2024-12-01My Life Long Crush Chapter 8 – Rawls
Days turned into weeks, and I threw myself into my work, hoping to drown out the thoughts of Claire. The late nights and early mornings became a numbing routine, a welcome distraction from the ache in my heart. But no matter how much I tried; I could not shake the feeling that I was lying to myself. Every time I drove by her house, every time I saw her car parked in her parent's driveway, I felt a longing for something that I could not have and something I should not want. One evening, my friend, David, called me with a crazy idea. "You need to get out there again, buddy," he said. "I've got this friend, Jenna, and she's interested in going out with you. I have set you up on a blind date. Trust me, you'll thank me for it." I hesitated because I did not want to be with any other woman but Claire. David was insistent and he said he would do a double date with me if that would make it easier. I know he is looking out for me, but I am not really into dating again. The night of the bli
Last Updated : 2024-12-03My Life Long Crush Chapter 9 - Claire
Her eyes searched mine, and I could see the fear and hope mingling within them. "Okay," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "But if something goes wrong, if we get hurt..." I knew what she was saying. The thought of causing her pain was unbearable. But the allure of being with her, the love I felt, was too strong to ignore. "I know," I said, squeezing her hand gently. "But we'll deal with it together, Claire. I won't let you go through it alone." I looked into his eyes, and for a moment, I saw the man that I had known for years, the man who had fell in love with, the man who wants me the way I want him. I lean in and kiss him again, this time with a fierce urgency that takes my breath away. I slide my hands up his arms, around his neck, pulling him closer. I feel the hardness of his body pressing against mine, and all the reasons why this was a bad idea seemed to dissolve away. "Take me to your house," I whispered against his lips, my voice shaking with need. "I n
Last Updated : 2024-12-04My Life Long Crush Chapter 10 - Rawls
I could not get Claire off of my mind all night. I had a tough time going to sleep considering how hard I was when I went to bed. I could have easily just jerked off, but I was saving any sexual pleasure for the first time Claire, and I make love. No matter who she has been with before me, I will make her forget all of them. She will be screaming my name until she can barely speak. The sound of a car door slamming jolted me out of my thoughts. I froze, listening as the footsteps grew closer. It was Evie, stumbling into the house after another night out. I heard the murmur of her voice, slurred and sloppy, as she made her way to the kitchen. My stomach knotted with anxiety. Last night's kiss with Claire was still fresh on my lips, and the last thing I needed was to deal with my daughter's hangover. I knew she'd would expect breakfast, a warm cup of coffee, and likely a lecture about the dangers of partying too hard. I did not have the energy to deal with her. She was an adult, an
Last Updated : 2024-12-04
Latest chapter
My Life Long Crush Chapter 49 - Claire
I had trouble sleeping most of the night. I am worried about Rawls doing something to Jonathan after what happened yesterday. I love him dearly for wanting to protect me, but I don't want him to do something that will land him in jail. Claire: Thelma, I need to meet with you before we get started with work. Thelma: What's up sugar plum? Claire: It's about Jonathan. Something happened and I really need to talk about it. Thelma: Ok. Meet me at the office at 730 and we can have time before anyone else gets in. I don't know what I would do without Thelma. She has been my rock and confidant through so much. Rawls wasn't going into later to the office, so I snuck in and gave him a quick kiss before I headed out the door. I thought he was asleep, but he was just pretending because he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me down on the bed. "Where do you think, you are going to so early, my love." He was kissing down my neck and his facial hair was rubbing on my neck and g
My Life Long Crush Chapter 47 - Claire
I had trouble sleeping most of the night. I am worried about Rawls doing something to Jonathan after what happened yesterday. I love him dearly for wanting to protect me, but I don't want him to do something that will land him in jail. Claire: Thelma, I need to meet with you before we get started with work. Thelma: What's up sugar plum? Claire: It's about Jonathan. Something happened and I really need to talk about it. Thelma: Ok. Meet me at the office at 730 and we can have time before anyone else gets in. I don't know what I would do without Thelma. She has been my rock and confidant through so much. Rawls wasn't going into later to the office, so I snuck in and gave him a quick kiss before I headed out the door. I thought he was asleep, but he was just pretending because he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me down on the bed. "Where do you think, you are going to so early, my love." He was kissing down my neck and his facial hair was rubbing on my neck and g
My Life Long Crush Chapter 48 - Rawls
It took everything in me to not go to Claire's office and beat the hell out of Jonathan Cramer. How dare he try to lay a hand on my woman. Makes me wonder how many other women he has tried this with. The image of Claire's tear-stained face and her trembling voice recounting the assault played over and over in my mind like a horror movie. I know I had to be smart about this. I couldn't just go in there and start throwing punches. That would only make things worse for Claire. But the urge to protect her was burning a hole in my chest. I couldn't sit around and do nothing while that scumbag was out there, breathing the same air as her. I had to come up with a plan. As the day dragged on, I found myself unable to focus on anything but the rage simmering just beneath the surface. The office felt like it was closing in on me, each tick of the clock a reminder of the injustice that had occurred. I knew I had to channel this anger into something productive. After a restless lunch,
My Life Long Crush Chapter 46 - Evie
When the nurse came in this morning, I was feeling a little bit better. They were cutting back on my meds. I was going to have a group therapy session today. Guess they want me to be lucid in order for me to bare my soul. The therapist, Mrs. Hennessey, reminded me of a grandmother. She had a gentle way about her that made it easier to talk about the darkest moments of my life. But today, she was going to get more than she bargained for. The group therapy was small, only five of us, all young women with sad eyes and no smiles on their faces. We all had our reasons for being here, our own demons to face. I was the quiet one, the one who didn't say much. But today, I had to tell them. I had to get this secret off my chest. Mrs. Hennessey, the therapist, sat in the circle with us. She had a gentle smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, like she had seen too much pain in her career. "Let's start with you, Toni," she said, turning to the girl with short hair that was dyed blue.
My Life Long Crush Chapter 45- Rawls
As soon as I heard the backdoor, I was so happy Claire was home. "Baby, I'm in the kitchen. How was your day?" As soon as I look at her, I know something is very wrong. Her eyes are red and puffy, and she is visibly shaking. I rush over to her, wrapping her in my arms. "What happened? Are you okay?" "It was Jonathan," she whispers, her voice trembling. "He...he attacked me in the parking lot." I pull her closer, my heart racing. "What? Are you okay?" "I...I think so," she says, her voice shaking. "I kneed him and got away. But he's so angry, Rawls. So much angrier than I ever thought he could be." My protective instincts flare up, and I hold her tighter. "You're safe now," I murmur into her hair, trying to soothe her. "Let's go into the living room and you can tell me everything." We sit down on the couch, her voice shaking as she recounts the incident. I listen, my jaw clenched, as she describes how he grabbed her and tried to kiss her against her will. The room fee
My Life Long Crush Chapter 44 - Claire
As soon as I walked into work, I see Thelma. I can't wait to tell her about my weekend. "Claire, you are in bright and early this morning. And that is a pretty big smile on your face." Thelma looked up from her a big smile on her face. She had been my confidant through all of this, and I could tell she could see the change in me. "I have something to tell you," I said, my voice filled with excitement. "Rawls and I are back together, and we are going to make it work, no matter what anyone says." Thelma's eyes widened, and she immediately stood up, rushing over to give me a hug. "Oh, Claire, I'm so happy for you!" she exclaimed. "But what about your parents?" "It's complicated," I sighed, taking a seat at my desk. "They're still upset, but I can't keep living my life to please them. I need to do what's right for me and for Rawls." "Let's go to the park for lunch and you can fill me in on all of the details." "Yes, ma'am. I can't wait." Today was one of those days
My Life Long Crush Chapter 43 - Rawls
I decided to visit Evie before heading to work. The mental facility had suggested that she was more lucid and calm in the early hours, and I did not want to miss the chance to see her in a calmer state. I wanted her to know how much i missed her, but I also wanted her to understand the necessity of her being there. The drive to the hospital was quiet, the early morning traffic was light. My mind was racing with thoughts of Evie, wondering what she would say, how she would react. I missed my little girl, and the ache in my chest was a constant reminder of her absence. I hoped that with time and the right help, she would find peace and come back to me. When I arrived, the receptionist checked me in, and I was escorted to Evie's room. The halls were painted a light shade of blue, designed to ease anxieties, but it did not do much for my own racing heart. I haven’t seen her in days and I was not sure what to expect. When I walked into her room, she was sitting up in bed, staring o
My Life Long Crush Chapter 42 - Rawls and Claire
The evening began with lighthearted conversation. The dining room table was set with my mother's fine china. The aroma of roast chicken and vegetables filled the air, mingling with the faint scent of my mother's favorite candles. Mom and Dad sat at the table, their faces beaming with pride as they watched me bring out the plates of food. The clink of silverware and the murmur of their approval as they tasted the meal I had so painstakingly prepared filled me with a warmth that was bittersweet. I knew that the revelation we were about to share would change everything. The conversation flowed easily. The laughter was genuine, the kind that fills a room and makes you feel like everything is right with the world. But beneath the surface, I felt the tension coiling in my stomach, tightening with every passing minute. I have never been so scared in my life. Mary looked over at me, her eyes filled with love and admiration. "Claire, this meal is simply delicious," she said, patting h
My Life Long Crush Chapter41 - A new beginning
The counselor's office was a small, cozy space, with a large window that overlooked garden. The soft hum of a water fountain in the background created a soothing environment . It was helpful to calm the turmoil I felt inside. Rawls squeezed my hand reassuringly as we sat down on the couch, and I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. The counselor, a kind-looking woman with a gentle smile, introduced herself as Dr. Laura. She began by explaining the process of grief and how it affects each person differently. "I know this is hard for both of you," she said, her voice soothing. "But talking about it can help you heal and move forward." I nodded, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. Rawls sat next to me, his thumb tracing patterns on the back of my hand. The gesture was comforting, but the fear remained, that whispered doubt in my ear. Dr. Laura began, her eyes meeting mine with a gentle insistence. "Can you tell me about the moment you found
