All Chapters of My Life Long Crush: Chapter 31 - Chapter 40

I had every intention of going home, but I ended up in the park where Claire and I had shared out first kiss. I hate myself for being the cause of the hurt and anger on her face. A man is supposed to protect the woman he loves, and I failed. The park is quiet, the swings swaying gently in the breeze. It's peaceful compared to the hell that has become my life. I sit down on the bench where we sat that night, when I first tasted Claire's lips. It's cold and hard, but it feels like the only thing that's real right now. The moon casts a soft light over the playground, lighting up the spot where we had stood, her eyes filled with hope and love. I remember the sound of her laugh filled, the sound of her voice, the feel of her body leaning into mine. Now, all that remains is the heavy weight of regret in my chest. I wonder if Claire will ever find a way to forgive me. We need to talk. I need to explain to her why I did everything that I did. I also need her to know I would have wanted

I don't know how I am going to get Evie into a treatment facility. If the police find out she is the one who attacked Claire, she is going to jail for assault. Her actions cost me a baby and probably the woman I love. I am going to need to contact my attorney to see what my options are. Since Evie is over eighteen years old, things are more complicated. I have to have concrete reasons to have her put under medical care. Mary texted me to let me know that Claire was home. I immediately sent her a text hoping for an answer. Rawls: Claire, baby, I want you to know I am thinking of you. Please text me back Three dots appeared, then disappeared. This seemed to go on forever. Finally, a ding indicating a message. Claire: How about we don't text for now. It's complicated. She is throwing my last text message back in my face and I deserve it. She is hurt, and lashing out. I want to be there to comfort her. We both suffered a loss of our baby. I had thought so much about seeing h

Mary had cooked my favorite, lasagna. The house smelled like garlic bread and marinara sauce. It was comforting, but the thought of seeing Claire made me feel like my stomach is in knots. I took a deep breath and walked into the dining room. Claire was sitting in her usual spot, and she was so beautiful. She had her eyes downcast so she wouldn't have to look at me. The last time I looked into those eyes, I saw so much love. "Thank you for coming, Rawls," said Mary, giving me a tight smile. "It means so much to us that you're here. I am so glad that you were with our baby girl before we got to the hospital." Robert offered me a firm handshake. "Thanks for looking out for her.” "I would do anything for Claire. She needed my help and I am glad I could be there for her." Mary's eyes searched mine, and I knew she could see the pain hidden behind the forced smile. The dinner was awkward, with conversation sticking to safe topics like work and the weather. Every time I looked a

After my encounter with Claire, I needed something stronger than a beer. I went to my home office and grabbed the decanter of scotch. The very thought of another man touching her made my blood boil. As I poured the amber liquid into a glass, I knew I had to do something. I could not let her push me away like this. I knew I hurt her, but I had to prove to her that I would always be there for her, that I would never leave her again. I had to do something before some asshole tried to take what is mine. My thoughts were racing as I took a sip of the scotch. The burning sensation down my throat was a reminder of the pain I was feeling. "What the hell was I thinking, letting her push me away like that?" I murmured to myself. I knew I couldn't just sit around and wait for her to come back to me. I had to do something to show her that I was serious about making things right. The first thing I need to do is to get Evie into a program. I worry she may try something again to hurt Cla

I watched Claire come home with her 'date." He was her age, where I am twice her age. He would be perfect for her, but could he make her happy. I saw when he leaned in to kiss her and I want to go over there and break his neck. I felt like a peeping Tom, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the sight of her with another man. It was like watching someone else live my life, a twisted soap opera where the wrong people were playing the starring roles. The rage inside of me grew with every second, but I knew I had to keep it in check. For her, for us. Jonathan's car pulled away, leaving Claire standing in the doorway, looking lost and vulnerable. I took a deep breath, willing myself to stay put. This wasn't the time for confrontation, not when she was already hurt and confused. I had to be the bigger person, the one who waited for the storm to pass before reaching out a hand to help her. From the shadows of my bedroom window, I observed as she walked up to the house, her shoulder