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All Chapters of Her Buried Desires: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10
21 Chapters
Simula
Stranger I was in elementary school when I first noticed it. Graduation ko that time and I was so excited to walk up on stage and receive the medal and diploma. At the same time, I was nervous and thrilled because of the valedictory speech that I'm going to deliver later. But when I looked around, I could not find them. My parents are nowhere to be found. Sabi nila ay mali-late lang. Kahit na class valedictorian ay hindi naka-attend si mommy at daddy ng ceremony dahil may sakit daw ang kapatid ko. Buong akala ko ay sa mga recognition lang sila hindi makakadalo at hindi nila papalampasin ang graduation, but I guess I was wrong. I remember pinching my fingers so hard para lang mapigilan ang mga luha na nagbabadya. The physical pain made me forget the emotional pain momentarily. Kaso hindi nakatulong ang mga naaawang tingin na natanggap ko mula sa mga guro at kapwa kamag-aral nang malaman nila na wala akong kasamang magulang ni isa. I was on the verge of crying nang inalok ako ng
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Back I am completely lost in the moment. Hindi ko maalala kung pa'no ako nakarating sa table at naupo. Hindi ko na rin masundan ang usapan at tawanan nina daddy sa mesa. All I can hear is my heart beating loudly in my chest, as if it might burst at any second. Gustuhin ko mang abutin at inumin ang tubig na naka-serve sa harapan, but my hands quivered uncontrollably. Kahit anong pagpapakalma sa sarili ay walang nangyayari. Wala ako sa sarili at tulala sa kinauupuan. Ni hindi ko na rin masagot ang iilan at paminsan minsang bulong ni Elyse sa gilid ko na mukhang nag aalala dahil sa naging reaction ko. She must have thought that I'm having second thoughts about being here, about this stupid arrangement. Ang hindi niya alam... fuck! What on earth was he doing here, anyway? Don't tell me siya ang... pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang mesa. He's the only one here with my family, so technically, siya nga? Napasinghap ako sa naisip. Hindi ko mahanap ang lakas ng loob para balingan ito sa
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Bracelet Nang makarating sa loob ay walang pag aalinlangan akong nagpaalam na aalis na. I had a strong inkling that daddy would voice his objections pero nang makita ko ang tipid na ngiti ni mommy ay medyo gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. I took that as my cue to leave. Hindi ko na hinintay na makabalik si Aril bago ako umalis. I felt like a coward retreating somewhere safe. I could have stayed and tried to shrug off the uneasiness that slowly crept in me, but I couldn't. Not when he's near and absolutely not when his words are full of spite as if he's the one that was left with a broken heart. I guess I'll just have to resort to an excuse like a work emergency, or I could simply say that I'm feeling overwhelmed—which is partly true. But for tonight, all I wanted is to go home. To hell with him for thinking I'm running away. I couldn't care less about his opinion anyway. May iilang text si Elyse sa akin at nag aalala. I reassured her that I'm fine. Gustuhin ko mang kausapin pa siya na
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Talk Maaga akong nagising kinaumagahan kahit anong oras na nakatulog. Buti na lang din at Sunday ngayon kaya walang trabaho. May mga sinagot lang ako na mga importanteng email at message bago mag-ayos. Nang matapos ay nagtungo na agad ako sa mansyon. Almost thirty minute drive ang mula sa condo papunta sa bahay namin. Pero kung tutuusin ay hindi naman gaano kalayo ito, talagang dahil lang sa traffic kaya medyo tumatagal ang biyahe. While driving, sinubukan kong isa isahin ang mga kailangan kong gawin para sa araw na 'to. First, I'll try to convince dad to stop the arrangement. Kung dahil lang naman sa lagay ng kompanya kung bakit ito nabuo, maybe we could find another way to save the company na hindi ko kailangang magpakasal sa kung kanino. Then, I have to set up a meeting with Dean dahil siya ang mas nakakaalam ng mga pup'wedeng gawin. I'm an Architect. And even though I'm one of the founders of our firm, hindi ko masasabing sapat ang alam ko sa negosyo. I still need to cons
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Fiancé "Are you sick?" sambit ni Adrian at sinapo ang noo at leeg ko. Taka ko siyang tiningnan. "What—no! Really? After everything that I've said, 'yan talaga reaction mo?" inis ko siyang tinapunan ng tingin at sinalampak ang balikat sa sandalan ng upuan. We are currently at a restaurant near his place and having lunch. Ikwinento ko na sa kanya lahat ng nangyari mula sa umpisa and this is his reaction. What a friend! Nagkibit ito ng balikat bago muling magsalita. "I don't know. Malay ko ba kasi kung sa sobrang katalinuhan mo, nabaliw ka na lang bigla," he leaned forward and examined my face. "Are you sure hindi delusions 'yan? It's been seven years and you have been doing so well. Akala ko ay talagang nakalimutan mo na." Inirapan ko siya at binato ng tissue dahilan kung bakit siya humagalpak ng tawa. If looks can kill, I swear, siguro ay nakahandusay na ang isang 'to kanina pa. "I'm serious, Ads! Come on, be a good friend and comfort me!" Natigil ito sa pagtawa and sinubukang
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Ring"Well, for starters, the bastard that you were referring to is still your cousin."Caleb raised an eyebrow at what I said.Napailing na lang ako sa reaction niya then I proceeded on telling him about what happened at kung bakit nga ba umabot sa ganito.Though I feel like he's not satisfied with my reason, pero tinanggap niya pa rin iyon."Just be careful, okay?" He runs a hand through his hair as he processed the information. "You've been through a lot. I just don't want to see you like that again."Tumango ako dito and I know what he means. I really appreciate his concern. Naiintindihan ko rin kung saan siya nanggagaling.Aril, Caleb, and Dean were inseparable before. Kaya hindi nakakapagtaka kung may tampo man ang dalawa nang umalis na lang si Aril bigla.Ani nila, even their Tito, Aril's Dad, didn't tell them anything about his departure but they suspect that their parents know the reason behind it. Hindi nga lang sinasabi sa kanila.When Aril left, alam kong hindi lang ako ang
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Drive My knees suddenly felt weak as I stood there. Kung hindi lang siya nakahawak sa baywang ko at nakasandal ang katawan ko sa kanya, I'll probably lose my balance. Hindi magkamayaw sa pagtibok ang puso ko. The sultry music continued to play and the dance floor is still crowded, pero pakiramdam ko ay kami lang dalawa ang nandoon. It was as though time had slowed down. The warmth of his touch on my waist seeped through my skin. He continued to slowly sway me to the music while his face is still buried in my neck. I could feel his hot breaths there na mas lalong nagpahina sa mga tuhod ko. I inhaled sharply when I realized that our position is very intimate. Bigla akong nahilo sa katotohanang 'yon. I tried to compose myself but his proximity was intoxicating. Agad akong napalayo at bumaling sa kanya. His hands didn't move though. They were still securely wrapped around my waist. Nang mag angat siya ng tingin ay parang gusto ko na lang tumakbo. There are different kinds of emo
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Love Hindi ako nagsalita. Hindi na rin ako nakipagtalo. Hindi ko alam kung saan pa kukuha ng lakas para gawin ‘yon. I’m drunk and emotional. And all I know right now is that I want to go home. Tuloy tuloy ang lakad ko papasok ng bar. I didn’t bother to look behind me kung nakasunod ba siya o ano. I just want to get my purse and leave. Nang makarating ako sa table namin, napansin ko na wala na si Dean doon. While Adrian and Rico were laughing about something pero napahinto sila. Caleb, on the other hand, was talking to someone on his phone pero agad niyang ibinaba ang tawag. They were all looking behind me. I didn’t bother to explain to them kung anong mayroon o nangyari. Agad kong kinuha ang clutch bag sa tabi ni Caleb. “What the fuck is he doing here?” Sa akin siya nakatangin nang sabihin iyon. Nakakunot ang noo niya na para bang hindi niya maintindihan ang nakikita niya. “I can clearly hear you,” malamig na sagot ni Aril sa likod. Caleb snorted, pero hindi niya binati ang pins
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Contentment “Sweetheart, you’re engaged, soon to be married, but you’re openly flirting with another man?” pinasadahan ni Dean ng tingin ang singsing sa daliri ko. Pabiro siyang umiling at malungkot na sinabi, “I’m disappointed in you, you’re a very naughty girl.” Hinampas ko siya ng menu na hawak sa inis ko. Hindi matigil si Adrian at Caleb sa kakatawa na maya-maya ay sinundan niya na rin. People were looking at us, eyeing us curiously, because the three men that I’m with were laughing loudly and obnoxiously without even trying to hide it. “Will you shut your mouth?” iritadong baling ko sa kanya. It’s Saturday and we’re currently at Rico’s restaurant, about to have lunch. Adrian had invited us here because he said that he had something interesting to share with us. Hindi ko naman alam na involved pala ako sa something na ‘yon. That ‘something’ was the very reason why they were mocking me right now. Because our dear client, Mr. Quijano, has openly told Adrian that he likes me af
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Touch “Can you at least tell me what’s on your mind, love?” Bumaling ako sa kanya pero hindi ako sumagot. Nandito na kami ngayon sa parking lot ng condo ko. My parents had tried to convince us to stay together for the night. They thought that it would be a perfect chance to open up to each other, but I insisted that I had too much work left to do, kaya hindi na sila namilit. If only they knew. The whole ride had been filled with silence at ngayon lang siya nagsalita nang makarating kami. It seemed like I wasn’t the only one with a whirlwind of thoughts inside my head. He had said before that he was determined to go through with this wedding, but his troubled expression right now suggested otherwise. I let my eyes linger on him for a moment as my thoughts drifted. It pains me to think that all of this was once my dream. I used to dream of marrying him someday. At ngayong andito na kami, why does it feel like my heart is being torn into pieces? Seven years ago, I would have yearned
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