Kabanata 3

Talk

Maaga akong nagising kinaumagahan kahit anong oras na nakatulog.

Buti na lang din at Sunday ngayon kaya walang trabaho. May mga sinagot lang ako na mga importanteng email at message bago mag-ayos.

Nang matapos ay nagtungo na agad ako sa mansyon.

Almost thirty minute drive ang mula sa condo papunta sa bahay namin. Pero kung tutuusin ay hindi naman gaano kalayo ito, talagang dahil lang sa traffic kaya medyo tumatagal ang biyahe.

While driving, sinubukan kong isa isahin ang mga kailangan kong gawin para sa araw na 'to.

First, I'll try to convince dad to stop the arrangement.

Kung dahil lang naman sa lagay ng kompanya kung bakit ito nabuo, maybe we could find another way to save the company na hindi ko kailangang magpakasal sa kung kanino.

Then, I have to set up a meeting with Dean dahil siya ang mas nakakaalam ng mga pup'wedeng gawin.

I'm an Architect. And even though I'm one of the founders of our firm, hindi ko masasabing sapat ang alam ko sa negosyo.

I still need to consult someone who's professional in this field.

After that, Adrian and I will meet for lunch later.

Hindi ko pa nasasabi sa kanya ang tungkol sa arrangement dahil hindi ko ata kakayanin kung sa tawag ko lang ikukwento sa kanya lahat.

Nang makarating, agad akong nagtaka sa hindi pamilyar na kulay itim na Aston Martin na naka-park sa malawak na garahe.

It's only past 7 o' clock in the morning, may bisita na agad?

Pagpasok ko sa loob ay agad kong tinanong ang kasambahay na nakita.

"Ate, may bisita si daddy?"

Bahagya pang nagulat ito nang makita ako.

"Sus ginoo! Ma'am Kaia, ikaw po pala iyan!" wika ni Ate Nena habang nakasapo ang kamay sa dibdib.

Agad naman akong nagpaumanhin nang ma-realize na talagang nagulat siya sa biglaan kong pag sulpot.

"Ay, oho, Ma'am. Kay gwapo nga ho ng bisita ni Sir!" dagdag nito habang nakatingin sa itaas ng grand staircase na para bang andoon ang tinutukoy niya.

Nang lingunin ko rin ito ay bigla akong napahinto at nanlamig.

I certainly didn't expect to see him. And it's too early, why is he here?

Hindi ko na narinig ang iba pang sinabi ni Ate Nena kahit na noong nagpaalam ito sa akin para umalis.

Okay, self. Let's calm down, shall we? Deep breaths. Think about all the things that you must do. It's just Aril, someone you knew from the past. You got this.

Dahan-dahan akong umakyat ng hagdan.

Batid ko ang pagtitig nito sa akin habang hinihintay na makaakyat ako. Pero bago pa man ako makapag salita ay nauna na ito.

"You left immediately last night," seryoso ang boses niya nang sabihin 'yon. Nakahilig siya sa handrail habang nakatingin sa akin.

Tumango ako sa sinabi niya.

"Ah, sorry about that, emergency," sagot ko habang nakatuon ang mga mata sa malaking vase na naka-display malapit sa kanya.

There, I can be casual and civil. Who says I can't?

"Okay," dahan-dahang sagot nito.

Hindi na 'ko nakatiis at nilingon siya, taka ko itong tiningnan.

Ngayon ko lang napansin ang suot at ayos niya.

His black hair is styled but a bit tousled. He's sporting a well-fitted navy blue blazer that perfectly complement his broad shoulders.

Sa ilalim nito ay isang button white shirt na open ang dalawang butones sa taas. His shirt is tucked into a dark gray trousers and he's wearing a pair of brown leather loafers.

Habang kumikinang naman ang kilala't mamahaling silver watch sa palapulsuhan nito.

Napatikhim ako.

He's clearly mad at me last night for God knows what reason. Pero bakit parang nag iba ang ihip ng hangin?

When he noticed me staring at him, he absentmindedly wet his lower lip, dahilan kung ba't napunta roon ang tingin ko.

Ilang sandali pa ay muli itong nagsalita.

"My eyes are up here, Kaia," sambit niya na ikinagulat ko.

"Huh?"

His mouth slightly twitched on my reaction.

Napaiwas ako ng tingin. I can almost hear my heart beating loudly in my chest as my cheeks start to feel hot when I realized what just happened.

He freaking saw me looking at his lips! Shit!

Way to go, self!

I was about to say something and try to deny it when I saw Elyse walking towards us. Base sa ayos niya na naka-pajama pa ay mukhang kakagising lang nito.

"Ate!"

She came to me immediately, oblivious to the man standing in front of me.

"Are you okay? You should've at least called me! I'm really sorry for putting you in this kind of situation but please don't try to shut me off too," tuloy tuloy na sambit nito habang nakasimangot sa akin.

"I called Kuya Adrian last night because I thought that you already told him but he said that he haven't heard anything from you," dagdag nito ngunit natigilan nang mapansin ang nasa harapan ko.

"Oh," she looked at me and back at him, blinking rapidly, trying to comprehend what's going on.

"Good morning, Mr. Adriatico," pormal niyang bati nang makabawi. "Am I interrupting something?"

Bumaling ako kay Aril, ngunit kung kanina ay nakangisi ito, now he looks like he's about to murder someone. Tipid itong tumango kay Elyse at nang ibalik ang tingin sa akin ay nanlilisik na ito.

What the hell? I swear he was smiling earlier!

"No–," naputol ang pagsasalita ko nang unahan niya 'ko.

"Yes, your sister and I are discussing something."

Lito ko siyang tiningnan. Anong discussing something? We were barely even talking!

Mukha namang nahiya si Elyse at nagpaumanhin dito.

Mataman ko itong tiningnan ngunit 'di ito nagpatinag.

He really looks like he's pissed about something, and the way he glares, parang ako 'yong something na 'yon.

Teka, bakit? Wala naman akong ginawa!

"Hija, you're here!" tuwang salubong sa amin ni daddy.

"This is perfect! Tamang tama at nandito rin si Aril. We can talk about the preparations," nakangiti ito habang nakatingin sa akin.

Pinagmasdan ko si daddy. Mukhang hindi naman ito galit nang maaga akong umalis kahapon. Maybe mom tried to appease him or something.

Tumikhim ako at bumaling sa kanya.

"Actually dad, I need to talk to you first," panimula ko, tiningnan ko si Elyse at Aril bago ulit bumaling kay daddy, "in private po sana."

"Of course we will talk in private with Aril. He came all the way here to discuss about what needs to be done for your wedding. Elyse, please help your mother prepare the breakfast downstairs."

Agad namang sumunod si Elyse at bumaba. And before I could even protest, Dad had already ushered us to his study.

Nang makapasok sa loob, a room filled with leather-bound books and antique furniture welcomed us.

I was about to close the door behind nang magtama ang kamay namin ni Aril sa handle.

I jolted with the brief touch, para akong napaso kahit sandali lamang iyon.

He looked at me seriously kung kaya't napaayos ako ng tayo at hinayaan na siyang mag sara noon.

Daddy took a seat behind his huge and imposing desk. He gestured for us to sit as well.

I chose to sit at the right side and I thought Aril will sit on the left one, pero nagulat ako nang tumabi ito sa akin.

My heart pounds quickly.

He sat beside me with his demeanor composed, but I, on the other hand, can't find a way to calm by stupid heart.

It's just Aril. It's just Aril. It's just Aril.

Pumikit ako nang mariin at pilit na winawaglit sa isip na katabi ko ito.

But it's better though because I don't have to be conscious with his gaze kung nasa harapan ko siya.

"Kaia," panimula ni daddy, kung kaya't agad akong bumaling upang sa kanya matuon ang atensyon ko.

"Aril has graciously agreed to discuss the arrangements for your wedding. That's why he's here, dahil ayoko nang patagalin ito."

I couldn't help but wonder if he was as unwilling about this as I was.

Kasi kung ayaw niya rin, why do we have to plan things quickly? He should have at least told my father to slow things down.

We just met last night tapos ngayon ay preparation na agad ang pinag-uusapan namin. It's not like we are rushing because I am pregnant or something.

Agad na nag init ang pisngi ko nang mapagtanto ang naisip.

Fuck? Do we also have to consummate our marriage? When do we need to do it? May honeymoon din ba?

Oh my god! I didn't think far ahead like this nang pumayag ako sa arrangement na 'to.

For someone who used to have good grades, I could really be an idiot at times!

Why didn't I think of this beforehand?

"Hija," I looked at daddy, nakakunot ang noo nito. He studied my expression at pagkaraan ay tumikhim siya bago nagpatuloy. "You're not listening, anak. Is there something wrong?"

I took it as an opportunity to voice out my concerns.

"Uhm, dad, I'm sorry but I would like to discuss something else."

"What is it?"

"I have been thinking, is there any way we can save the company without going through with all of this," naramdaman ko ang pagtuwid ng upo ni Aril sa tabi ko. "I mean, do we really have to get married? Wala po bang ibang solution?"

Ilang segundo ang lumipas na tanging tunog lang ng malaking pendulum clock sa loob ng study ang maririnig bago nagsalita si daddy.

He sighed and his expression is now troubled.

"Kaia, look. I will keep this short and simple. Merging with Adriatico's company is our best chance at survival. It is the easiest and fastest way since we are running out of time. The debt is piling up, and if we don't act quickly, we will be facing bankruptcy."

Huminga ako nang malalim at tumango.

Naiintindihan ko naman ang tinutukoy nito. I fully understand the gravity of the situation, especially when he decided to go through with this kind of arrangement.

"I get that, dad, believe me. But maybe we can explore other options. We can consult with Dean, he's really good at this, you know it too. I know also that he would be willing as well to help us. I can call him and tell about this. Baka lang kasi, you know, he might have other ideas or strategies we haven't thought of."

Aril once again shifted on his seat but he remained silent. I tried to shrug it off and focus on my father.

Daddy's shoulders sagged. Hinihilot niya ang sentido niya nang magsalita.

"I really wish it were that simple, hija. But we are running out of time as I have said. The entire company and its employees are at stake. It's not just about our family being poor and all, but the livelihoods of all our employees. They are relying on us to make the right decisions and as of now, ito lang ang nakikita kong solusyon."

Napakagat ako ng labi nang maisip 'yon.

Am I being selfish?

I really want the best for our company and its employees. Kaya nga naisipan kong lumapit kay Dean because he's really good at what he does.

Is there really no other way other than this?

"But do we really have to get married? I mean, we can do the merger right even without it?"

I know that Aril is beside me but I don't care whatever he thinks, kung ma-offend man siya o ano, bahala na.

I need to lay all my cards on the table para lang hindi matuloy 'to. I don't want to be trapped inside of something lalo na kung siya ang kasama.

If it would have been another person, siguro matitiis ko pa.

But right now, we are talking about the man that I used to love here and the one who left me without telling me any reason.

Ayokong sumugal at magbakasaling hindi ako masasaktan ulit. I have been there at ayoko nang maranasan muli iyon.

"You're a smart girl, Kaia. You know why we have to do it this way," napunta ang mga mata ni daddy kay Aril bago bumalik sa akin. "Tayo ang makikinabang sa mga Adriatico kaya tayo ang mag co-compromise. They want to ensure na hindi natin sila tatakbuhan 'pag nakabangon tayo. And besides, you already agreed to this. Tinanong kita kung sigurado ka ba and you said yes," seryosong sambit nito.

"Sir, if I may speak, I think Kaia's not ready. We could talk about the preparations next time," Aril said in a calm voice.

Lumingon ako sa kanya.

"Do you also genuinely agree to this?"

I know that I am being unfair to my father, to my family, and to our employees, pero hindi ko lubusang magawang pumayag sa kasalang ito. I already agreed to this tapos ngayon ay biglang binabawi ko.

So, I asked him if he also think that we should get married. As my frustration wells up inside me, hindi ko na napigilang maging emosyonal.

Bumaling siya sa 'kin at mataman akong tiningnan.

"It doesn't matter what I think or any opinion I may have. All I care about is the state of our company."

He didn't even flinch when he said it. Diretso ang mga mata nito sa akin.

Napakurap ako sa sinabi niya.

Of course, why would he even care about what I am feeling?

If I think about it, he already knew everything before we met last night. Alam niya rin na dapat si Elyse ang magpapakasal sa kanya instead of me. So, he might already know na ako na kagabi but he still went.

Hindi ko naisip iyon.

I just thought na hindi siya papayag o mag ba-back out sa kasunduan because well, it's me, we had a past.

But now, as realization dawn upon me, siguro talaga ay totoong wala siyang pakialam sa kahit ano or sino maliban sa kompanya nila.

Ano bang iniisip ko? Na katulad ko ay magiging apektado rin siya?

It's been seven years, of course, he had already forgotten everything. Kaya nga niya 'ko iniwan, hindi ba?

I shrug off the familiar pain that slowly engulfs my chest.

The thought of marrying someone I barely know for the sake of a company merger was already hard to accept. Pero mas mahirap kapag siya.

The weight of responsibility starts to bear down on me as I felt defeated.

Kinurot ko ang daliri ko bago nagsalita.

"A-alright. If that's the case, I think we can proceed with the preparations."

Dad gave me a sympathetic look before he redirected the conversation back to the wedding preparations.

I only managed to answer yes and okay with everything he says.

Ayoko nang makipagtalo and besides, my preferences doesn't matter anyway kaya pumayag na lang ako sa kung ano mang naiplano at naihanda na.

Nang mapunta ang usapan nila ni Aril tungkol sa merger na mangyayari at mga kontratang kailangang asikasuhin sa lalong madaling panahon, tuluyan akong nanahimik at tulalang naupo.

I couldn't help but to feel like I was being swept away by the tide of events.

It was as if the decision about the whole thing had already been made, and all that was left was to go through the motions—dahil kahit anong pigil na gawin ko ay tatangayi't tatangayin pa rin ako ng agos.