Fiancé
"Are you sick?" sambit ni Adrian at sinapo ang noo at leeg ko. Taka ko siyang tiningnan.
"What—no! Really? After everything that I've said, 'yan talaga reaction mo?" inis ko siyang tinapunan ng tingin at sinalampak ang balikat sa sandalan ng upuan.
We are currently at a restaurant near his place and having lunch.
Ikwinento ko na sa kanya lahat ng nangyari mula sa umpisa and this is his reaction. What a friend!
Nagkibit ito ng balikat bago muling magsalita.
"I don't know. Malay ko ba kasi kung sa sobrang katalinuhan mo, nabaliw ka na lang bigla," he leaned forward and examined my face. "Are you sure hindi delusions 'yan? It's been seven years and you have been doing so well. Akala ko ay talagang nakalimutan mo na."
Inirapan ko siya at binato ng tissue dahilan kung bakit siya humagalpak ng tawa.
If looks can kill, I swear, siguro ay nakahandusay na ang isang 'to kanina pa.
"I'm serious, Ads! Come on, be a good friend and comfort me!"
Natigil ito sa pagtawa and sinubukang mag seryoso ngunit pansin ko pa rin ang pag-alog ng balikat niya sa pagpipigil ng tawa.
"Ano ba! Totoo nga kasi," frustrated kong sabi at napaisip kung bakit ko ba siya naging kaibigan.
Adrian and I met in college during our freshman year at noong panahon na sawi ako sa pag-ibig.
I just graduated high school tapos mukha na agad akong tanga na lutang at wala sa sarili nang mag college. Ani niya, daig ko pa ang mga seniors namin na stress sa mga madaming gawain.
Pareho kaming architecture student, at dahil Arevalo ang surname ko habang ang kanya ay Andrada, lagi rin kaming magkatabi at magkasama—that's why our friendship started.
Everyone back then thought that we were dating, maliban kina Caleb at Dean.
But since Adrian is a closeted gay, kung kaya't hinahayaan lang namin ang akala ng iba. Wala naman kaming pakialam sa iba, honestly, as long as we are happy with each other's company.
Pero ngayon ay talagang hindi ako natutuwa sa kanya. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.
He knows everything about me, and the same thing goes for him.
Kahit si Elyse buong akala ay boyfriend ko siya. I want to tell her the truth, but I respect Adrian's privacy.
Even though I know that my sister is trustworthy, syempre, iba pa rin kapag kay Adrian mismo manggagaling ang katotohanang iyon because it's his life.
Choice niya kung sasabihin niya ba sa iba o hindi. And I have so much respect in him kasi alam niyang he doesn't owe anyone an explanation of his sexuality.
Bukod kay Elyse, he's the only the one that I also consider as my family. Hindi kasi sasapat ang bestfriend lang para i-describe ang samahan naming dalawa.
"Sige, if it's true, then tell me how he looks like right now," humilig ulit ito sa lamesa na para bang talagang interesado na siyang makinig ngayon.
"What? Bakit kailangan pa 'yon?"
"For me to imagine it as well," sabi niya at ngumisi.
Dudang ko siyang tiningnan at nag-isip ng mga salita na p'wedeng maglarawan kay Aril.
Adrian doesn't know him personally. Sa picture niya lang ito nakita at nakilala lang niya ito base sa mga kwento namin nina Caleb at Dean.
Tumikhim ako bago nagsalita.
"He still looks the same, mas mature lang tingnan ngayon."
"And then?"
"And then what?" lito ko siyang tiningnan. I don't know, ano pa ba gusto niyang sabihin ko?
He still looks like the Aril that I used to know.
My heart skipped a beat when I remember his smile a while ago and I badly want to rip my stupid heart off my chest.
Hindi naman kasi talagang maipagkakaila na gwapo siya. Why would I even entertain him in the first place before, 'di ba? Pero hindi ko sasabihin iyon!
"Ano pa? Be specific naman! I'm wasting my precious time here listening to your stories instead of straddling my boyfriend in his apartment. So, give me some juicy details!"
Gulat akong napatingin sa sinabi niya at agad na napalingon sa paligid. Nang masigurado kong walang nakarinig sa mahalay niyang bibig, kinurot ko ang braso niya.
"Ouch!" He chuckled.
"You pervert!" tumawa na rin ako at napailing bago nagpatuloy.
"Hindi ka ba napapagod sa escapades niyo ni Rico? Tsaka ano ba? I'm really serious!"
Adrian continued to chuckle, not taking my concerns seriously at all. He leaned back in his chair.
"Kasi naman! Change career ka na ba? Novel writer na, gan'on? It's just sounds so cliché, K. You're telling me that you suddenly happened to be in an arrange marriage with your ex-boyfriend, how am I supposed to believe that right away?" nagkibit siya ng balikat.
He really looks so amused by my story to the point that he doesn't believe it!
I was about to protest again and tell him that it is really true when my words caught in my throat.
My eyes locked onto someone who had just walked into the restaurant.
You've got to be kidding me! Ang lawak ng Metro Manila for us to keep seeing each other!
Agad akong umalis kanina sa bahay nang matapos naming mag-usap nina daddy. I said that I am not feeling well at may mga kailangan pang asikasuhin na importanteng bagay para lang makatakas sa awkwardness ng breakfast kanina, tapos ngayon pala ay dito rin siya pupunta.
Maayos na rin akong nagpaalam sa parents ko na hindi na muna ako uuwi sa mansyon pansamantala. They were disappointed at first, pero siguro dahil sa sitwasyon ay hinayaan na nila ako.
Napasinghap ako nang magsimula itong lumapit sa table namin.
He doesn't have to come though! Kung kakain siya, kumain siya. Bakit kailangan pang lumapit?
His attention was fixated on me at first pero nang makitang may kasama ako ay biglang bumagal ang lakad nito. His jaw tightened and there was a trace of annoyance in his gaze pero nang kumurap ako ay agad ding nawala iyon.
Bakit ba sa tuwing nakikita ako nito ay naiirita siya? The hell? Ako dapat ang gano'n sa aming dalawa!
Nang makarating siya sa tabi namin, gulat na napalingon si Adrian nang makita ito.
"I thought you're sick?" panimula ni Aril at pinasadahan ng tingin ang table namin.
Tumagal ang titig nito sa harapan ko. While on the other hand, manghang mangha si Adrian sa nakita.
Nang tumingin ito sa akin, pinanlakihan ko siya ng mata. So much for not believing me, huh? Ayan tuloy! In flesh mo pa nakita!
I struggled to find my voice to answer him. Well, what am I supposed to say? Hi? Hello? Oo? O hindi, na dahilan ko lang 'yon para makaalis na kanina?
Napapikit ako sa naisip at muntikan nang matawa.
The absurdity of the whole situation makes me want to laugh. I swear, I am going to be insane one of these days!
"Uhm, yeah," I cleared my throat before continuing. "I'm just catching up with my friend here. Aril, this is Adrian. Adrian, meet Aril. He's..." naputol ang pagsasalita ko nang 'di ko mahanap ang tamang salita.
He's my what? Ex? Friend? Colleague?
He's what, Kaia?
"Her fiancé," bago ko pa madugtungan ay siya na mismo ang tumapos non. His icy tone cut through the air. Naglahad siya ng kamay kay Adrian na tinanggap naman ng huli.
"Hi... Kaia's fiancé," dahan dahang bati ni Adrian, his lips slowly curving to a sly smile. Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. His amusement to the situation is evident all over his face.
Kanina lang ay hindi naniniwala ang isang 'to ah?
I reached for the water in front of me, dahilan kung ba't bumaling si Aril sa akin.
Muntikan na kong masamid when Adrian secretly mouthed the words, "ang gwapo," at nag puppy eyes pa.
What the hell!
Hirap na hirap akong magpigil ng tawa. At dahil nga sa akin nakaharap si Aril, kaya hindi niya nakita ang ginagawa ni Adrian.
Pero hindi mawala sa isipan ko ang sinabi nito.
Fiancé, huh?
Where's your ring, mister? Hindi ba't iyon ang tawag kapag engage na?
Hindi ko na pinansin ang sinabi nito but I also didn't bother to correct it because what's the point? Sa huli naman ay magpapakasal pa rin ako dito, gustuhin ko man o hindi.
Tumikhim ako bago nagsalita. "Tapos na kami kumain actually. Ikaw?" nilibot ko ang tingin sa buong resto bago ulit bumaling sa kanya. "It's past noon already, ngayon ka pa lang mag la-lunch?"
Nagulat ako nang biglang naubo si Adrian. While Aril, on the other hand, is biting his lower lip. Iniwas ko ang tingin ko roon nang maalala ang nangyari kaninang umaga.
But why does he look like he's suppressing his smile?
"Yup, I'm just waiting for someone," dahan dahang sambit nito habang namumungay ang mga mata.
Seriously? What's with his mood swings?
One second, he's annoyed. Tapos ngayon he looks like... whatever. Ang lala!
Pero teka, waiting for someone? I badly want to ask kung sino pero ayoko namang magmukhang interesado.
We're just going to get married in paper, that's it. So, I can't act like a possessive and nagging wife. Mamaya ay kung ano pa ang isipin nito.
"Okay," tipid kong sagot. "Uhm, mauna na kami. Enjoy your lunch!" Tiningnan ko si Adrian at agad din naman itong tumayo.
Sus, gusto lang chumika nito e!
Thank God we already settled our bill a while ago kung kaya't makakaalis na kami agad.
Aril only nodded while still biting his lip when we bid our goodbye.
Hindi ako tinantanan ni Adrian pagkatapos.
He still can't believe it though. Para raw kaming nasa telenovela because what are the chances na si Aril pala ang tinutukoy ni daddy na anak ng business partner niya.
I also agree with him since I really feel like the heavens is trying to play a prank on me.
Nang sumunod na linggo ay medyo nawala sa isip ko ang mga nangyari.
Sobrang busy namin sa firm at hindi pa nakatulong ang pagiging demanding ng high profile client na nabingwit ni Adrian.
I already told him to drop it dahil paiba iba ng gusto but Adrian insisted that it will be a good thing for us kapag na-cater namin ang pangangailangan nito.
"Jules, tapos na ba 'yong perspective nung sa Aurora? Can you please tell them to send it to my email now?"
"Yes po, ma'am, will do po."
Kakababa ko pa lang ng telepono nang biglang mag ring ito ulit.
"Ma'am, someone's looking for you po, regarding the Greenfields project."
"Sino raw?" tanong ko at tumingin sa kalendaryo na nakapatong sa desk. Sa susunod na linggo pa dapat ang meeting tungkol sa project na 'to, ah?
I removed my eye glasses and pinch the bridge of my nose as I wait for Julie, my secretary, to respond.
"Hey Architect, this is Engr. Adriatico," boses ni Caleb ang sumalubong sa akin sa kabilang linya. Napangiti ako.
He always like to call people with their respective professional title. Ani niya, matagal daw naming itong pinaghirapan that's why we should use it as much as we can. Baka raw kasi sa lapida na lang namin ito mailagay kung 'di namin ito gagamitin. Siraulo, 'di ba?
I told him to come in.
Nang makapasok siya ay agad siyang naupo sa sofa sa loob ng office ko.
He's in a white polo shirt, black jeans, and white sneakers. Simple lang ang suot nito but he looks like someone straight out a magazine.
"You visited a site?" tanong ko habang naglapag ng kape sa harapan niya na agad niya namang tinanggap.
Umupo ako sa harapan nito.
Tinanggal niya ang aviators na suot at tumango.
"Yeah, one of our projects are having issues with the structural design and they wanted me to take a look."
Kumunot ang noo ko. "Structural issues? That doesn't sound good. Is everything okay?"
Nagkibit ito ng balikat at humilig sa sofa.
"Well, it's nothing serious. Kailangan lang ng adjustment kasi foundation ang napupuruhan," tumigil ito sa pag sasalita and he looked at me seriously before he continue. "But enough about me, okay? I came here to talk about you."
I am suddenly reminded of the situation I am currently in. Alam na ba nila?
"The asshole is back, kanina ko lang nalaman," Caleb leaned closer as he examined my expression. "Would you care to tell me why you are going to marry that bastard?"
Ring"Well, for starters, the bastard that you were referring to is still your cousin."Caleb raised an eyebrow at what I said.Napailing na lang ako sa reaction niya then I proceeded on telling him about what happened at kung bakit nga ba umabot sa ganito.Though I feel like he's not satisfied with my reason, pero tinanggap niya pa rin iyon."Just be careful, okay?" He runs a hand through his hair as he processed the information. "You've been through a lot. I just don't want to see you like that again."Tumango ako dito and I know what he means. I really appreciate his concern. Naiintindihan ko rin kung saan siya nanggagaling.Aril, Caleb, and Dean were inseparable before. Kaya hindi nakakapagtaka kung may tampo man ang dalawa nang umalis na lang si Aril bigla.Ani nila, even their Tito, Aril's Dad, didn't tell them anything about his departure but they suspect that their parents know the reason behind it. Hindi nga lang sinasabi sa kanila.When Aril left, alam kong hindi lang ako ang
Drive My knees suddenly felt weak as I stood there. Kung hindi lang siya nakahawak sa baywang ko at nakasandal ang katawan ko sa kanya, I'll probably lose my balance. Hindi magkamayaw sa pagtibok ang puso ko. The sultry music continued to play and the dance floor is still crowded, pero pakiramdam ko ay kami lang dalawa ang nandoon. It was as though time had slowed down. The warmth of his touch on my waist seeped through my skin. He continued to slowly sway me to the music while his face is still buried in my neck. I could feel his hot breaths there na mas lalong nagpahina sa mga tuhod ko. I inhaled sharply when I realized that our position is very intimate. Bigla akong nahilo sa katotohanang 'yon. I tried to compose myself but his proximity was intoxicating. Agad akong napalayo at bumaling sa kanya. His hands didn't move though. They were still securely wrapped around my waist. Nang mag angat siya ng tingin ay parang gusto ko na lang tumakbo. There are different kinds of emo
Love Hindi ako nagsalita. Hindi na rin ako nakipagtalo. Hindi ko alam kung saan pa kukuha ng lakas para gawin ‘yon. I’m drunk and emotional. And all I know right now is that I want to go home. Tuloy tuloy ang lakad ko papasok ng bar. I didn’t bother to look behind me kung nakasunod ba siya o ano. I just want to get my purse and leave. Nang makarating ako sa table namin, napansin ko na wala na si Dean doon. While Adrian and Rico were laughing about something pero napahinto sila. Caleb, on the other hand, was talking to someone on his phone pero agad niyang ibinaba ang tawag. They were all looking behind me. I didn’t bother to explain to them kung anong mayroon o nangyari. Agad kong kinuha ang clutch bag sa tabi ni Caleb. “What the fuck is he doing here?” Sa akin siya nakatangin nang sabihin iyon. Nakakunot ang noo niya na para bang hindi niya maintindihan ang nakikita niya. “I can clearly hear you,” malamig na sagot ni Aril sa likod. Caleb snorted, pero hindi niya binati ang pins
Contentment “Sweetheart, you’re engaged, soon to be married, but you’re openly flirting with another man?” pinasadahan ni Dean ng tingin ang singsing sa daliri ko. Pabiro siyang umiling at malungkot na sinabi, “I’m disappointed in you, you’re a very naughty girl.” Hinampas ko siya ng menu na hawak sa inis ko. Hindi matigil si Adrian at Caleb sa kakatawa na maya-maya ay sinundan niya na rin. People were looking at us, eyeing us curiously, because the three men that I’m with were laughing loudly and obnoxiously without even trying to hide it. “Will you shut your mouth?” iritadong baling ko sa kanya. It’s Saturday and we’re currently at Rico’s restaurant, about to have lunch. Adrian had invited us here because he said that he had something interesting to share with us. Hindi ko naman alam na involved pala ako sa something na ‘yon. That ‘something’ was the very reason why they were mocking me right now. Because our dear client, Mr. Quijano, has openly told Adrian that he likes me af
Touch “Can you at least tell me what’s on your mind, love?” Bumaling ako sa kanya pero hindi ako sumagot. Nandito na kami ngayon sa parking lot ng condo ko. My parents had tried to convince us to stay together for the night. They thought that it would be a perfect chance to open up to each other, but I insisted that I had too much work left to do, kaya hindi na sila namilit. If only they knew. The whole ride had been filled with silence at ngayon lang siya nagsalita nang makarating kami. It seemed like I wasn’t the only one with a whirlwind of thoughts inside my head. He had said before that he was determined to go through with this wedding, but his troubled expression right now suggested otherwise. I let my eyes linger on him for a moment as my thoughts drifted. It pains me to think that all of this was once my dream. I used to dream of marrying him someday. At ngayong andito na kami, why does it feel like my heart is being torn into pieces? Seven years ago, I would have yearned
SystemLimang wedding gown na ang nasusukat ko ngunit wala pa rin akong mapili. Its not because I didn’t like the designs recommended. Actually, ang iba nga ay nag surpass pa sa expectation ko. Hindi ako makapili all because of the fact that I couldn’t stop my mind from replaying what happened inside the fitting room. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala.Did I just let him touch me? Shit!But it’s okay, right? After all, we’re going to get married. Wala namang masama roon. Normal lang naman ang physical contact sa mga mag-asawa, right? It just felt awkward because of course, we had a past. Kaya gano’n. But technically, we’re not doing something wrong, right?Yes, it’s okay… it’s fine… pero bakit hindi ko makumbinsi nang tuluyan ang sarili ko? I felt like a teenager with a raging hormones caught doing something very inappropriate.Wala na rito si Aril because he said that he had to step out for an emergency. Hindi ko naman alam kung anong klaseng emergency iyong tinutukoy niya dahil linggo n
CallIsang classy Italian restaurant ang napili niya malapit sa boutique na pinanggalingan namin. Hindi ko maiwasang igala ang mga mata ko dahil sa romantic ambience ng lugar. Puno ng red roses ang bawat design, maging sa mga crystal vases sa lamesa. At kahit tanghali pa, may mga maliliit din na kandilang nasa baso ang nakabukas. Halos pa lahat ng kumakain doon ay couple talaga. Napanguso ako sa pag-iisip kung bakit dito niya pa napili. We could eat somewhere simpler. I won’t mind kahit sa fast food or what. Hindi naman ako mag rireklamo at lalong hindi naman ako mapili.“Thanks,” tipid na pasasalamat ko when he pulled a chair for me. Still with his old moves, huh?Ngumiti lang siya sa akin at umupo na rin.“I recommend their seared scallop ravioli for pasta,” sabi niya habang tinitingnan ang menu.Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. So… he’s frequent here? Hindi naman siya mag ri-recommend kung hindi, ‘di ba? I didn’t like the thought that’s slowly forming in my head. E, ano naman kung l
Client Buti na lang, naging abala ako sa buong linggo na ‘yon dahil sa mga ongoing projects sa firm. Paminsan minsan ay tumatawag si mommy para ibalita sa akin ang mga preparation na ginagawa nila. She tries her best to complement everything to my liking pero dahil sa nangyari noong nakaraang linggo ay nawalan ako ng gana makisali sa pagpaplano. I kinda feel bad because she seems to notice my lack of enthusiasm whenever we talk about it pero wala siyang sinasabi. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa simpatya o awa sa sitwasyon ko kung kaya't hinahayaan niya 'ko at hindi na masiyadong kinukulit pa. As much as I don’t like to dwell too much on what I saw, may iilang pagkakataon na nahuhuli ko ang sariling napapatulala dahil doon. It's not healthy. Kaya pilit kong ibinabaling sa trabaho ang atensyon ko. Speaking of preparations, sa Batangas daw gaganapin ang kasal at beach wedding ang theme. Nakahanda na rin ang mga invitations. Mayroon daw mga kilalang pangalan ang dadalo kaya dapat haban