Simula

Stranger

I was in elementary school when I first noticed it.

Graduation ko that time and I was so excited to walk up on stage and receive the medal and diploma. At the same time, I was nervous and thrilled because of the valedictory speech that I'm going to deliver later.

But when I looked around, I could not find them. My parents are nowhere to be found. Sabi nila ay mali-late lang.

Kahit na class valedictorian ay hindi naka-attend si mommy at daddy ng ceremony dahil may sakit daw ang kapatid ko.

Buong akala ko ay sa mga recognition lang sila hindi makakadalo at hindi nila papalampasin ang graduation, but I guess I was wrong.

I remember pinching my fingers so hard para lang mapigilan ang mga luha na nagbabadya. The physical pain made me forget the emotional pain momentarily.

Kaso hindi nakatulong ang mga naaawang tingin na natanggap ko mula sa mga guro at kapwa kamag-aral nang malaman nila na wala akong kasamang magulang ni isa.

I was on the verge of crying nang inalok ako ng adviser ko na siya na lamang ang magsasabit ng medals ko. But I tried my best not to cry.

It's okay, naiintindihan ko. May sakit si Elyse and it's best if they stay with her.

Hindi naman mahalaga ang medalya o diploma na nakamit ko sa araw na iyon kaya okay lang.

Like I said... naiintindihan ko.

Ngunit nang mag high school, doon ko na natanggap ang mapait na katotohanan.

I already saw it coming, but a part of me still wishes I was wrong. Na sana mali ang mga hinala ko at talagang totoo na nagkataon lang ang lahat.

Pero hindi pala ang medals, awards, and certificates ang hindi mahalaga... ako pala.

Constant honor student but I had no parents to go with sa bawat awarding. At the back of my mind, I was hoping that they will eventually come.

Baka late lang ulit. Baka natagalan lang mag ayos si mommy. Baka naipit sila sa traffic. But I should have known.

Madalas gusto kong sumigaw at magalit but it felt so wrong. Dahil alam ko naman na sa una pa lang ay wala naman talaga akong karapatan. I had no right to demand something from them.

Sino ba naman kasi ako? I am just their adopted daughter.

Elyse, on the other hand, is the biological one. She's five years younger than me and a miracle baby. Kaya ani nila, mas dapat itong tutukan.

And even though I was jealous of the attention and love that she easily gets, I can't bring myself to hate her. Dahil kahit kulang sa pagmamahal ng mga magulang, my sister never failed to make me feel loved.

Siya lang ang totoong mayroon ako.

"Kierra Adelaide I. Arevalo, Bachelor of Science in Architecture, Summa Cum Laude!"

Napuno ng sigawan at palakpakan ang buong stadium.

But the cheers and claps that I wanted the most were the hardest to get.

It could have been perfect if mom and dad were here too. Pero 'di bale na kasi ang importante, andito ang kapatid ko.

"Ate ko 'yan!" I let out a chuckle nang marinig ang malakas na sigaw ni Elyse.

For the first time, I let myself cry on stage while taking the medal, diploma, and reciting my speech.

Dahil sa wakas, I have someone that I can truly call my family... someone who really loves me genuinely.

As soon as the graduation ceremony is over, agad na sumalubong si Elyse sa akin at yumakap.

"I'm so proud of you, ate." Umiiyak siya habang nakangiti nang sabihin 'yon.

She's wearing a straight neck pleated dress at nakalugay ang natural na wavy nitong buhok. Namumula rin ang mata at tuktok ng ilong nito dahil sa pag iyak.

Sa unang tingin, aakalain mo talagang we're sisters by blood dahil sa iilang pagkakahawig. I badly wish it's true though.

I pat her head at hug her also.

"Don't mind mom and dad, okay? I'm here. I will always be with you."

I know that she's trying to comfort me with her words pero ang hindi niya alam, nagawa niya na 'yon nang pinilit niyang makadalo sa okasyon na 'to.

Kahit na sanay na ay hindi ko pa rin mapigilang umasa na baka sakali sa huling pagkakataon ay may kasama na akong mag celebrate ng achievements ko sa buhay, malaki man o maliit.

And God didn't fail me. He gave me my sister.

Pumiglas ako sa yakap at tiningnan ito. I gently smiled at her. I don't want her to worry for me dahil siya lang ay sapat na sapat na.

"I'm really lucky to have you kahit ang iyakin mo," bulong ko sa kanya. Tumawa lang ito habang nagpupunas ng luha.

I have felt out of place in so many moments in my life lalo na nang dumating si Elyse. But she's also the only one who pulls me back to have a place in our family. Kaya paano ko naman kamumuhian ang isang 'to?

Maybe it would be so much easier if she grew up to be hating me as well. Siguro mas madali para sa akin na magtanim ng sama ng loob.

Because growing up, every hatred I have for our parents ay laging nawawala dahil sa kanya. At kahit anong mangyari, ayokong sisihin niya ang sarili para sa mga bagay na dinanas ko dahil wala rin naman siyang kasalanan.

Like me, she's just an innocent child caught in the middle of this unfortunate circumstance.

I love my sister and am willing to do everything for her. She's my only family.

Kaya nang biglang sinabi ni daddy that Elyse is bound to marry his business partner's son, agad ang tutol ko dito.

I have always been the obedient daughter. Lahat ay kaya kong sundin at tiisin maliban dito. I will not let them marry my sister to a stranger.

Tumingin ako kay mommy para manghingi ng saklolo pero nag iwas lang ito ng tingin sa akin.

I can't believe her! I thought that the love they had for Elyse is unconditional? Bakit gan'to?

"Dad, this is absurd! You can't let her marry someone she doesn't even know!"

"And what do you suggest? I'm only looking out for her! I'm only thinking of your sister's future!"

Kami lang ni daddy ang nagbabangayan at nagsisigawan. My mom couldn't even look at us while Elyse couldn't stop crying beside me. Ni hindi man lang ito nag abala na lumapit at patahanin ang kapatid ko.

What's wrong with them?

"Kung lumaki lang sana siyang matalino katulad mo, hindi ko na iisipin pang ipakasal siya sa kung kanino! But let's accept it, your sister is a failure at ni isang beses ay hindi siya dumikit sa galing mo!"

Hindi ako makapaniwala sa sinabi ni daddy.

I don't get it. I spent my whole life trying to please them dahil lagi silang naka-focus kay Elyse and yet, ganito lang din pala ang kakahinatnan ng lahat.

Them, not only abandoning their adopted daughter, but their biological one too!

Bumaling ako kay mommy na inaabala ang sarili sa pagkain habang hindi makatingin.

"Mom! Can't you hear what daddy is saying? This is bullshit!"

"Kaia, watch your mouth!" Dad's voice thundered. Matalim ko lang siyang tiningnan.

"Don't try to belittle my sister in front of me, dad! She's smart and she knows what she's doing kung hinahayaan niyo lang siya!"

Kahit kailan ay hindi ko pa nasasagot o napagtataasan ng boses ang kahit na sino sa kanila. This is the first time.

I'm trying to compose myself pero nahihirapan ako sa bawat masasakit na salitang binibitawan ni daddy.

"Is this about the company?" tanong ko. I couldn't think of any reason kung bakit sila ganito ngayon bukod dito.

"Stop it, hija. I am just doing your sister a favor. This is better for her, this is for her future," tulirong sambit ni daddy.

Pinapakalma niya ang sarili but the way he said it, it's like he's also trying to convince his self na tama ang desisyon niya.

Napailing ako.

"Let my sister have her freedom, dad, please. Hayaan niyo siyang magkamali para alam niya rin kung paano babangon."

Nangingilid na ang mga luha ko pero pinipigilan kong pangunahan ng sariling emosyon.

This is not the right time to cry, Kaia. Your sister needs you.

"My decision is final."

Nagpatuloy na ito sa pagkain at hindi na muling bumaling sa kahit na kanino.

Rinig ko ang pagbuhos lalo ng luha ni Elyse sa tabi. Kanina pa siya nagmamakaawa kay daddy pero hindi siya nito pinapakinggan.

"Fine!" iritadong bigkas ko. Pumikit ako nang mariin bago muling magsalita.

"Pero ako ang magpapakasal. I know you're doing this dahil sa lagay ng kompanya and not just because you're worried for my sister's future."

Sabay na napabaling si daddy at Elyse sa sinabi ko. Hindi na napigilan ni mommy umiyak.

I knew it! She also doesn't want this pero para sa kompanya ay kaya nilang itaya maging ang totoong anak.

"Ate, no way! Please, dad! I will be better, I will study harder!"

Nakaluhod na si Elyse na nagmamakaawa sa harapan ni daddy pero hindi ito nagpapatinag.

Mataman akong tiningnan ni daddy.

"You have a great future ahead of you, Kaia. You're a prodigy. Kahit saan ka dalhin at ilagay ay nag i-excel ka. Are you sure you're willing to throw that away?"

Batid ko ang patuloy na pagtutol ng kapatid ko at sunod sunod na iling nito habang umaagos ang mga luha. Maging si mommy ay hindi na rin kinayanan at inaawat na si daddy.

Kahit na hindi sila ang totoong mga magulang ko ay nakuha ko pa rin ang ugali ni daddy. Both of us doesn't back down easily. Ito rin ang napapansin ng iba pang mga kaanak namin.

I looked at him with determination. Bahala na. Ang mahalaga ay mailigtas ko si Elyse mula sa sitwasyon na 'to.

She's only 18 years old for pete's sake! Kakatungtong niya pa lang sa legal age tapos ipapakasal na?

"I'm sure, dad," taas noo kong sagot dito.

I know that I don't want this. Indeed, I have a great future ahead of me. Maraming firms ang nag aagawan lalo na nang mag top ako sa licensure exam.

But for Elyse, for my only family, I will do whatever it takes.

"Then, it's settled. We will meet him next week for a dinner, so clear your schedule," pinal na sabi ni daddy at umalis na sa dining.

Agad namang sumunod si mommy at sinusubukan pa ring pigilan ito. But I know my dad so well. Hindi na magbabago ang isip nito.

Agad kong niyakap si Elyse at pinatahan.

Paulit ulit itong nag sorry at kahit hanggang sa pag tulog ay hindi matigil ang pag iyak nito. Paulit ulit ko ring sinabi na hindi niya kailangang mag alala sa akin.

Because I know in my heart, at the end of the day, I am willing to go to great lengths for my family's love and approval, especially Elyse's.

And I know fully accepting the situation may take a while, but I will manage.

I don't really believe in romantic love kaya walang problema sa akin ang magpakasal kung para lang din naman sa kapakanan ng kompanya.

I have already given up that kind of delusion a long time ago. I don't find the need to explore that aspect of my life anymore because... well, it's useless.

Nothing good comes out of it, at least for me.

The next few days came by quickly, and before I knew it, I am running late to the dinner I promised my family.

I had to stay for a few hours sa firm because a well-known bachelor wanted to have a deeper grasp on the concept na gagawin sa bahay na pinapatayo niya. May iilan din daw itong ayaw sa design and gustong ipabago.

I really don't know about the details since Adrian, my best friend and also business partner, is the one mainly handling the project. I'm just helping him since it's urgent and high profile ang client.

Sa isang fancy restaurant gaganapin ang dinner at tinext na ni Elyse kanina ang address nito. Kung kaya't simpleng champagne-colored backless satin dress ang sinuot ko habang light lang ang make up. I also let my natural curls flow dahil na rin sa pagmamadali.

Nang makarating ay agad kong inabot sa valet ang susi ng sasakyan at nagsimula na pumasok sa loob.

I'm already fifteen minutes late kaya dali dali akong naglakad. Konti lang ang tao sa loob kaya hindi ako nahirapan na makita sila.

The place is bathed in soft and warm lighting of chandeliers habang may soft classical music na tumutugtog.

I saw Elyse waving at me so I smiled at her.

Pero habang papalapit sa table at naaninag nang maayos ang kasama nila, unti unting napawi ang ngiti ko.

My eyes were glued to the pair of ash-gray ones I thought I would never see again.

What... the... fuck?