All Chapters of Your Secret's Safe with Me: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

Feminine moans of pleasure crashed into the silence of Jacob’s room. He sprang forward to mute his computer audio. Hopefully, no one had heard. The naked woman looked longingly out of the screen at Jacob as she touched herself. He felt nothing. He almost felt sorry for her efforts, but he knew she either enjoyed what she was doing or she was payed for it, or both. He closed the video and loaded another from the same site. This time, it was a couple engaging in play. The man began jerking himself off as he waited for the woman to get into position. Jacob felt the stirrings of arousal. Fuck, Jacob thought. Failure. Again. He closed the last window and stared at his computer desktop in frustration. He was sure he could suppress those feelings this time. He had done everything he knew how. He had done his best to connect feelings of arousal inspired by other men to painful things or unpleasant things. He had tried inflicting physical pain when it happened. He had tried immediately fillin

“What?” Jacob touched his face reflexively. He and Seth were almost nose to nose. He couldn’t move. His heart was pounding so hard he was sure Seth could hear it. All of his skin felt warm. It’s just the alcohol, Jacob thought to himself. It has to be just the alcohol. He knew it wasn’t. Seth’s lips were pink, and the side where Jacob had split his lip was plump and a little darker. “Maybe you’re just scared. Maybe I make you uncomfortable. Or maybe you have checked me out after all,” Seth said softly. Jacob could feel Seth’s breath as he spoke. It was sweet but carried the sharp edge of the vodka and smoke. The smell of him was intoxicating. Jacob could picture his friends on Monday. He would walk into school and they would know. He could see himself bloodied in the gym. He could see the look of disgust on his father’s face at home as he was thrown out. What a disgrace he was. He could see the judgment in his father’s eyes. He could also see his life as it was before. He could feel

Sarah tasted sweet. Her soft lips against Jacob's felt like velvet and her breath smelled like mint. The first time she had kissed him under the bleachers it had been a whirlwind of a kiss, but this was delicate and reserved. He could feel her smile.Even without sexual attraction, there was something special about a good kiss. This kiss with Sarah was a good kiss. It felt safe and comforting, and like they had been able to create a space for a moment that was just for them, where none of Jacob's other worries could touch them.Sarah put a hand on Jacob's chest and pulled away, biting her lower lip."This is really happening?" Sarah asked, clearly still apprehensive about Jacob's intentions. "I mean, you like me?"Jacob wasn't sure how to respond. He did like her, but probably not in the way she wanted him to. She was sweet and friendly, and more interesting than half the cheer squad. She was intelligent and kind to those who were less popular than her. J

Jacob downed two drinks in the kitchen with Dana before he could get his nerves under control. He didn't plan to get wasted like last weekend, but there was no way he was going to make it through the rest of this party sober."What's got you all frazzled?" asked Dana."It's nothing," said Jacob. "I'm not great with large groups of people.""I know what you mean," said Dana. "Why do you think I'm in the kitchen myself? Don't get me wrong, I love a good party, and I love that people are having fun, but sometimes I just need a break, you know?"Jacob chuckled. "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.""It's cool. It's nothing to be ashamed about. Everyone's different," she said with a smile. "You can hide out in the kitchen any time. There's also rooms upstairs. You don't have to be fuckin' to hide out in one."Jacob actually blushed. He knew people knew his reputation, but it wasn't something he spent much time talking about. He realized he had pr

Jacob sat alone in the darkness.    What did he just do? He could hear his heartbeat in his ears as realization began to spread through his brain. He had admitted he liked Seth. He was still dating Sarah. Did that mean he was cheating on Sarah with Seth? Or was he cheating on Seth with Sarah? Seth knew about Sarah, so he supposed it must be Sarah getting the shittiest end of the stick here.    They were using her. Guilt ripped through his chest at the thought. He wasn’t lying when he told her he liked her. He did. She was kind. She didn’t deserve this, but what else could they do? He would have to tell her eventually, but he knew he wouldn’t have the guts to do it yet.    Seth liked him. As much dread as he felt thinking about what all this meant, he had an eq