"You know it hurts me but you do it anyway." Chapter 10 Dalawang araw na ang lumipas at hindi na umuwi si Sandro sa bahay namin kaya labis ang lungkot na aking nararamdaman, natatakot ako dahil magdidivorce na kami. Hindi ko kayang iwan ang taong mahal ko, hindi ko kaya. Pero ano paba ang magagawa ko? Pano ko ba mababago ang isip ng asawa ko? HIndi na magbabago ang isip niya at ngayon hinihintay ko nalang siyang bumalik dito at wait for the worst. There is no turning back now, he finally made his decision and kailangan ko nang tanggapin iyon but it hurts a lot. Tahimik lang ang bahay at hindi ako lumabas sa kwarto namin ni Sandro dahil pagod ako, physically and emotionally. Tumawag din ako sa manager ko na aabsent muna ako ngayon dahil masama ang pakiramdam ko at kailangan ko pang padalhan ng pera sina nanay at tatay dahil mas lalo na silang naghihirap sa probinsiya. Ngayon, kailangan ko na talagang makaipon ng marami dahil I am on my own now, kailangan kong umuwi sa probinsi
"I don't like to hold back, because that's how you hurt yourself." Chapter 11 I am currently in a plane right, dalawa lang dala ko, iyong anak ko at iyong sakit na binigay niya sakin. I hate him for making me do this, I hate him for everything. Sa Camiguin muna ako for one week at pagkatapos, siguro don nalang ako sa baguio magtatago for good, at don nadin maghanap ng trabaho. I dont know what the future holds but I just hope that it will get better cause I don't want to feel this kind of pain ever again, I know this will pass and things will get better someday. Time will heal me, I just don't know when. All I know right now is, kailangan kong maging matatag para sa anak ko at kinabukasan niya. I will do anything for her and I will love her and protect her all my life. ? Nang makarating na ako sa Benoni, ay sumakay ako sa rela papunta samin. Kinabahan naman ako, kasi hindi pa alam ng mga magulang ko sa pinanggagawa ni Sandro sakin at alam kong magagalit sila pag malaman nil
"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." – Mother Teresa Chapter 12 I have been running errands these days, mahirap maghanap ng trabaho. Sherlyn has been helping me pero hindi ako qualified because I didn't get to finish college. I even slap her back nang sabihin niyang, tutulong siya sa mga gastos ko, nakakhiya iyon para sa kaibigan ko kaya tinanggihan ko siya. Nagsisisi talaga ako, sana tinapos ko nalang pag aaral ko bago ako nagpakasal kay Sandro, and now what do I get? A trauma and struggles dahil sa kanya. It is still hurting me, pero ngayon ay nangingibabaw talaga ang galit ko sa kanya. I didn't give up sa paghanap ng trabaho and then I finally found one, it is not much pero iyon lang talaga maabot sa qualifications ko. Isang dishwasher ang trabaho ko ngayon, I am thankful kasi isa rin to sa pinakamalaking restuarant sa baguio kaya sapat nato para sa pagbubuntis ko. I need to be careful in my work dahil di
"Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime."- Anonymous Chapter 13 Weeks had passed, I never heard anything from Sandro and I am very thankful. It's still hurts, even tho he treated me so bad, I still miss him so much but despite of all this mourning, ayaw ko na siyang makita kahit kailan pa. This feelings will fade someday and right now, my focus should be in my baby. Wala narin akong balita kay Noah, I didn't get to meet him again after our encounter and that is a relief because I really can't handle meeting him again. Ngayon ang schedule ko sa prenatal, para macheck ang kundisyon ng anak ko, hinaplos ko ang aking tiyan and I smiled, ngayon ko din malalaman ang gender ng anak ko. I am still debating kung e reveal naba ang gender ko or surprise nalang pagkatapos ko siyang maisilang. I also have a lot of names in mind, I am really so excited to my baby.Naghanda naman kami ni Sherlyn para makapasok narin siya sa trabaho at para makapunta na ako sa hospit
Sylvia Plath- "Perhaps someday I'll crawl back home, beaten, defeated. But not as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak, beauty out of sorrow." Chapter 14 "He clearly likes you Faye" Sherlyn beamed nong sinabi ko sa kanya lahat ng nangyari samin ni Noah. Hinampas ko naman kamay niya, she's talking nonsense, and even if Noah really did like me, mawawala rin iyon pag malaman niyang buntis ako. Who wants to date a pregnant woman huh? Tell me, cause let's be realistic here, dating a pregnant woman is literally disgusting. It's like dating a woman who is still carrying another man's child and besides wala akong balak makipag date ulit, not now or ever. "You're talking nonsense" sabi ko sa kanya."Look, I know that he's a very kind man pero halata napo na parang gusto ko niyang makasama ulit" sabi niya, I rolled my eyes. This girl is so annoying sometimes. "Sher, kahit taman man iyang mga hinala mo, mandidiri parin iyon pag malaman niyang buntis ako. Loko ka" tawa ko.
Marilyn Monroe "Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Chapter 15 Alessandro Carvalho's point of view I don't know what happened, I just woke up in silence. I was so drunk last night, I can barely walk. Wala akong narinig na ingay, wala akong narinig na luto ni Faye. And then flashback came into my mind sa nangyari, I hurt Faye. She's pregnant and I badly want the baby gone, hindi pwedeng magkaanak kami. Hindi pa niya alam ang buong katotohanan and it's better to stay that way. Everytime I see her in this house, I just feel anger. I hated her dahil naalala ko ang mga nangyari these past few years and it's her fault pero hindi na kailangan malaman niya ang lahat. We never told anyone, my family are the only one who knows this secret and it will remain burried.I got up and winced in pain dahil sa sakit ng katawan ko, I yelled Faye's name and then I realize na I locked her up in this room for two days without any food, I am not planning to kill he
Tin Man "Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable." Chapter 16 Life must go on, I always tell myself that. My stomach is getting bigger at kung titignan ako ng tao, I am sure na they will recognize na buntis ako. I've been busier these past few days dahil maraming mga customers because bakasyon na kaya double time kami sa trabaho. I am really tired, emotionally and physically, buti nalang andito parati si Sherlyn sa tabi ko. I keep avoiding thinking about Sandro and that news, I still can't believe na nangyari iyon, kahit takot ako kay Sandro, kahit alam kong masamang tao siya, I am still hurt of the fact that he is now having a new family.He clearly said na ayaw niya ng anak but yet, magkakaanak na sila ni Brittany, will he be a good father? I shook my head, of course not because he is a very horrible person. I actually feel bad for their baby too pero mas mahirap sakin dahil ako lang bumubuhay sa anak ko. I sighed while naglalakad, bago palang natapos a
“One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.” Michael J. Fox Chapter 18 I am currently cooking breakfast for both me and Sandro and I almost jumped when I heard him screaming in his room, I can hear glasses being shattered into pieces at nakaramdam ako ng takot. Anong nangyari sa kanya? Baka saktan na naman niya ako, my heart is beating fast. Huwag niya sana akong saktan, baka mapahamak ang anak ko. I held my stomach protectively, I can still hear the shattering of things inside his room, bumabalik na naman ang trauma ko sa lahat ng ginawa niya. I want to know kung anong problema pero I am too afraid na baka mas magalit siya na makita ang mukha ko kaya agad akong pumunta sa kwarto ko at nilock ang pinto at pumasok ako sa c.r at nilock rin ito. I was breathing nervously and after a few minutes ay wala na akong narinig na ingay sa labas. "Faye" I heard him call me pero hindi ako sumagot, I hid ins