Chapter 3: Fiesta, Feisty

The trip took a toll on me. Pagkatapos ng tagpong iyon ay nagkaroon ako ng oras para makapag-isip. Dapat ay dumiretso na lang talaga ako rito sa probinsya at hindi na nag palipas pa ng oras sa Manila, fully knowing the presence of the Frentones were the most prominent there.

Malalim na ang gabi nang makarating ako rito. I entered the main door, it was made of mahogany.

The design is very vintage, halatang-halata ang pagiging luma nito pero matibay pa rin. Before my grandmother died, this is where I used to live.

This is the place filled with most of my memories growing up. The place I loved and hated the most.

‎

Everytime I have the chance, I make sure that this place is taken care of. I hired people to clean this place every month, but I didn't dare to renovate it. I fixed some parts but I tried my best not to change anything at all.

Gusto kong manatili itong ganito, kahit na kada pasilyo ng bahay ay puno ng ala-alang minsan ayaw ko nang dumaan sa isip ko.

The frames of the windows are made of hardwood, the house has the same colour palette, the one my Lola picked. Living alone for years made me independent, pero hindi maalis nito ang pangungulila. Tinahak ko ang daan paakyat at humiga sa kama.

Hindi ko gusto ang tela nito, medyo magaspang 'yon dahil sa maliliit na beads pero tuwing naalala ko na ito ang paboritong-paborito ng Lola ko noong nabubuhay pa siya, hindi ko na rin pinapago ito.

“Helena & Haven…” Bigkas ko. Why did he choose that as the name of their firm? I can’t help but wonder.

Nakatulala lang ako sa kisame at dinamdam ang simoy ng hangin. “I shouldn’t put more meaning into it, right?” I sighed.

Nakatutok sa akin ang electricfan kaya mas lalong lumamig. Dinama ko lang ang hangin hanggang sa bumigat ang talukap ng mata ko.

Mid-length boots, white tank top and a khaki blazer paired with a dark brown skirt. This is my go-to outfit whenever I want to travel and I choose to be less formal.

Pinagmasdan ko ang itsura ko sa salamin, I figured that nothing actually changed in my appearance. ‎

Well, nothing that big.

‎Kumpara noon, mas nadepina ang hugis ng mukha ko. My round face became more slim complimenting my naturally raised brows. I came from a Spanish mixed lineage which resulted in my pale skin, dark brown eyes and a trace of freckles in my face.

A buzz interrupted my solo moment, a call. ‎

"Good morning, who’s this?"

Shortly after, a male voice responded. "Ms. Helena, your father asked when will you return here in Toronto for the pending business proposals.”

“Oh, I see.” I rolled my eyes out of irritation.

"Tell him I'll… probably stay a little longer here. If he insists, pakisabi nalang na i-transfer ang files sa mail, I'll check it while I'm here." I suggested.

"Understood. Also, ma’am… Mr. Escarzega informed me that—" ‎I hung up. Alam ko na agad kung anong balak ni Papa. Oh please, I would never dare. Not after everything that happened.

What I know for a fact is that… Izo’s just a memory now. It must stay that way.

‎"Siya na ba iyan? Jusko, napaka-laki na ni Ana! Hindi mo a-akalaing siya ang paslit na naglalaro lang noon sa hacienda!" Narinig kong bulong ng ale sa gilid. This is infuriating!

Sa susunod, sana naman hinaan lalo na at ako rin naman ang pinag-uusapan nila.

‎"Grabe, ke-gandang dalaga." Okay! Joke lang pala. Go on, say that louder! Pinasadahan ko siya ng tingin at binigyan ng tipid na ngiti.

‎Ramdam ko ang mga matang naka-titig sa akin. Years passed, pero walang nag bago sa lugar. It was the same old province I loved.

Hindi ako sigurado kung ganoon din sa bayan, pero dahil nasa bandang dulo ng probinsya ang Hacienda Rel Juana, mga magsasaka't personal staff lang ang nahahagip ng mata ko.

‎Malaki ang Samar, but for me, it seemed small.

Because of the people I chose to avoid in this town, the province I loved became a small place for me to travel. ‎My family may belong to the socialites, but I have a rather different taste.

The upper crust of the wealthy families here in the country valued confidentialityㅡmine's no different, pero mas sineseryoso ko iyon. I despise gossip.

‎"Anang! Ikaw na ba ‘yan, iha? Sabi ko na nga ba, mag pi-pista ka rin dito!" Narinig ko ang pamilyar na boses ng ale.

“Nanay Nita?” She was carrying a mixed coloured market bag. Bayong, if I recall it right. Bakas sa boses nito ang accent kahit pa nag ta-tagalog siya.

"Oo, iha. Naku, salamat naman at naalala mo pa ako.” Matamis niya akong nginitian. Tinuro niya sa akin ang dalawang kasama niya, sa tingin ko’y mas bata lang ito sa akin ng ilang taon.

“Ito nga pala si Joy at Clarissa. Anak at pamangkin ko! Kasama ko sila mamalengke para sa pista.” Ngumiti ako sa dalawa pero pansin ko ang pagka-ilag nito.

“Mabuti naman po. ‘Tsaka, nakausap ko na po si Papa. Dito nga po ako mag pi-pista.” ‎Nakita ko namang natuwa siya sa sinabi ko.

“Tamang tama at bukas ay paparating na raw si Izo! Hindi ba’t matalik mo ‘yong kaibigan?” Pumait ang timpla ko at tiningnan siya. “Po?”

"Ikaw naman, Ana! Hindi ka pa rin nagbabago. In denial!” Biro niya. “Oh siya, mauuna na ako. Minsan ay dadalaw ako sa hacienda para makapag-usap tayo nang maayos. Ingat ka!" Kinawayan niya ako at nauna nang umalis.

Pakiramdam ko’y kahit saan ako pumunta, walang lugar na hindi ako matatakasan ng anino ni Izo.

“Para!" When I said that, huminto ang tricycle sa harap ko. "Bayan lang po." Sagot ko at inabot ang buong bill, I shook my head to assure him that I don't need the change. Nginitian ako nito at pinadyak ang tricycle.

‎It was loud. Sa tagal ko sa ibang bansa, halos makalimutan ko na ang pakiramdam tuwing sasakay sa mga public vehicles.

I learned how to drive my own car when I resided in Toronto. Despite that, it made me feel at ease. Hindi pa rin pala ako nakakalimot.

‎Nakatulala lang ako sa byahe at sinasalubong ang hampas ng hangin sa mukha ko. I remember my first experience of riding a public vehicle, it was him who was with me.

Siya ulit, siya nanaman. Siya palagi.

The majority of my firsts were with him. A taste of bitterness travelled in my throat, nilalabanan ng mata ko ang luhang gustong lumabas dito. This is why I hated it here, it makes my wounds feel much worse.

Hindi pa nga gumagaling, lalo pang tinatapik.

"Nandito na tayo, Miss." Natauhan ako sa sinabi ng driver. Nginitian ko siya at lumabas sa tricycle. Nasa bungad kami ng bayan, by the time I set foot in the arc, I heard the loud murmurs of the people. "Ma'am, salamat po uli. Welcome back!" Bahagya naman akong nagulat.

Kilala niya ako? If I were to base his appearance, siguro'y nasa early 20s pa lang siya. I didn't expect him to know me dahil ang madalas na nakakakilala sa akin ay mga middle aged workers na either dating nag t-trabaho sa Rel Juana, o dating kaibigan nila Lola.

Umalis siya agad at pinadyak ang makina ng tricycle. Now, this is when I noticed the changes in the province. Kung sa Rel Juana'y puro puno at malalawak na sakahan ang natataw ko, this place somehow reminded me of the cities.

Well, it’s not very contemporary, but to see the changes of the countryside compared to before, it surely is astounding. May mga nag-lalakihang fast food chains, there were malls and other street markets.

My Father's business, Ezcarzega Corporation, has been running for decades. Even before my Mom and Dad got married. They weren't huge fans of marriage for convenience, but they ended up doing so. Masiyadong cliché ang love story nila.

They didn't like each other at first, then eventually, they fell for it. I don't know how, but if it was that easy, sana'y pumayag na ako sa gano'ng set-up noon pa man.

"Ana?!"

Lumingon ako sa pinang-galingan ng sigaw at bahagyang nagulat. “Tope?” A sense of recognition can be found in my voice. Mukhang nakampante siya nang malamang nakilala ko siya. “I almost didn’t recognize you.” Bahagya akong natawa.

Hindi ko inakalang makikita ko siya uli, it’s been so long. I didn’t even thought I’d see him after I left, dahil ang balak ko noon, bitawan ang lahat.

Bitawan ang lahat ng makakapag-paalala sa akin sa kaniya. Yet, here I am. Always one step forward and three steps back.

“How’s life, Stephen?”