Chapter 1 - Mess

Solange Raviea Cervana.

The maid started to clean the broken pieces of the glass. While I remain on the floor, almost tasting blood from the side of my lips and trying to put myself together because anytime soon I'd be losing my consciousness.

“Are you trying to play with me, Seia!?” My father's voice echoed all throughout the mansion. “Bakit recorded iyong video at sinong walang hiya ang nagpakalat no’n? Sabihin mo sa akin!” he once slapped me again. Nararamdaman ko na ang pamamanhid ng kaliwang pisngi ko habang nanginginig akong nagpunas ng luha.

I just got home from a photoshoot and the first thing I received from my father was a slap. I had cause an issue. Mayroong nagkalat ng video ko sa The Antares Bar sa cruise ship na isiniwalat ang ginawang korapsyon ng magulang ko noong nakaraang buwan kung saan ang perang matatanggap sana ng mga naapektuhan ng bagyo ay napunta pa sa pamilya ko. Lasing ako noong araw na iyon kaya wala akong matandaan ni isa. The only thing I remembered is that I'm making out with someone that day, sa loob mismo ng bar. 

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” people cheered. Nagkumpulan na sila sa paligid ko. “Seia! Just one! Bawal ang killjoy rito!” my batchmate shouted. 

An unfamiliar guy from the crowd appeared in front of me. He looked dominant and very masculine. Kitang-kita rin ang tattoo niya sa leeg na sa palagay ko ay abot hanggang sa kanyang dibdib. Hawak-hawak niya na ang bote ng The Black Label kaya nagsimula na namang maghiyawan ang mga tao, natatawa akong tumingala.The guy supported my waist and began pouring the drink into my mouth; when it was nearly full, I hurriedly took a large gulp.

“Fuck, sobrang tapang!” I slightly wiped the side of my lips. The others tried chugging too kaya nakisali rin ako sa hiyawan.

The blinding lights continued to flicker. The dance floor was so crowded and I barely heard anything but the sounds coming from the DJ. Dahil nga sa lakas ng tama sa ‘kin ng alak, nagsimula nang mabuhay ang katawan ko. I joined the dance floor and danced like there’s no tomorrow. I knew I was drunk already when every second passed, I just got wilder and wilder. Hindi ko na marinig ang bawat isa sa mga kasama ko sa sobrang lakas ng tugtog. I just found myself kissing the guy earlier. As I can’t talk with people properly because of the loud surroundings, I’ll just make this an excuse to talk to his soul.

“Hmm…” I held his jaw on both sides in order to kiss him properly. He was sitting on the sofa while I’m sitting on his lap, almost revealing my thigh because of my position.

“Seia, I didn’t know you’re this aggressive.” He chuckled, kissing me back.

“Why? Aren’t you attracted to it?” I uttered, realizing it was too seductive. 

“Very much… I am very much attracted to it.” Inayos ko ang buhok ko at nilagay iyon sa kabila kong balikat para magkaroon siya ng tyansa na mahalikan ang panga ko. He got what I wanted to say so he did it without hesitation.

“This is my first time to feel like I’m on the loose. So I rather do things I don’t usually do.” I replied with closed eyes while my two hands were resting on his shoulder.

“Why? First time mo ba rito sa bar? Perhaps, your first time to get this wild.” He held my waist to fix my position.

“No, the old man was busy cleaning his name with some sort of shits. So, I grab the chance to party. Deserve ko ‘to!” I laughed.

“What do you mean, hmm?” He continued what he’s doing.

“He fucking took people’s money. Iyong matatanggap sana na pera ng mga tao sa mga naapektuhan ng bagyo noong nakaraang buwan… he used it for gambling. I don’t fucking know! They’re all greedy for money. They are all blinded by it.” I hissed, getting very unconscious.

It was true, that money is a powerful thing. It can control people’s emotions and thinking. Everyone is capable of blinding with it. Just one snap, you’ll be slave for it. Hindi mo mamamalayan kung kailan ka magiging gahaman para rito. Gigising ka na lang isang araw, handa kang gawin lahat para makuha mo iyon. It was pretty much ironic that people are ready to be enslaved with money but later on disappear like a bubble when complications start to happen because of it.

“I don’t know… P-Papa, I really don’t know," I cried, almost pleading to stop him from what he's about to do, pero nagkakamali ako na inisip ko na may puso siya, dahil wala. 

He forcefully made me stand up by pulling my hair and when he successfully did it, he pushed me against the wall, the reason for my body to get out of balance. Mayroong aparador sa likuran ko kung saan nakalagay ang mga vases kaya nang tumama ang likod ko roon ay nahulog din ‘yon kasabay ng paghulog ko. Bumaon ang ilang parte ng bubog sa palad ko kaya paiyak akong sumigaw dahil sa sakit no’n. My head was overtaken by a sensation of nausea and I felt like my body was about to give up.

“M-Mama, please… I'm fucking bleeding.” I pleaded and gazed at my mother. Naka-upo lang siya sa sofa habang tinitingnan kami na parang nanonood siya ng isang teleserye. 

I get it. I understand why she's just there, sitting. She was brainwashed by my father. I know she has an illness, I saw her medical papers, she once went to the therapist and if I have the chance to make her go there again, I would, but I'm powerless to do that.

“It's your fault, Seia. It's always your fault." She walked upstairs. Hindi na muling lumingon pa. A new set of tears rolled down my cheeks.

“Dad, I'm so sorry, please… I can do everything! Just stop… stop hurting me." I kneeled, almost kissing the floor. Masakit na rin ang ulo ko dahil sa pagbagsak ko kanina.

“You should be Solange, because I'm gonna clean the mess you did.” May diin ang bawat salitang binitawan nito. “Dress up, clean yourself. We’re having dinner with the Alejos.” Biglang kumalabog ang puso ko sa narinig. I don’t meddle with my family’s problem, but I knew that the Alejos were their rival. Kahit noon pa man, tinatago nila iyon. 

“Miss Solange, tulungan na po kita.” The maid helped me to stand up. Sinamahan niya ako hanggang sa tapat ng kwarto ko at nang maka-upo na sa kama ay nakita ko lang siya sa labas ng kwarto ko. “Sinabi po ni Senyor na… na hindi ko po kayo pwedeng tulungan. Pasensya na po.” Tumungo siya. 

I bit my chapped lips and eventually nodded. “I can do it myself. Thank you, Luisa.” Mapagpaumanhin siyang umalis sa harap ng kwarto ko. Ika-ika akong tumayo para isarado ulit iyon. Isang oras ako inabot sa paglinis ng sugat ko. My hands had scratches due to the fragmented glass. The moment I sat on the edge of my bed, I quickly opened the television. Bakas ang gulat at takot sa ‘kin nang makita ang headline ng balita. 

Breaking news: Debunking Solange Raviea Cervana’s rumored scandal video; Sergio Cervana, former actor and the father of the victim, spilled the truth!

“No one would believe that. I know my daughter, she’s well-educated and she knows what’s the difference between right or wrong,” my father stated. He was surrounded by a lot of news reporters. Sa palagay ko ay sa labas iyon ng gate dahil hindi basta-basta nagpapapasok ng tao sa main entrance ng mansion. 

Inaasahan ko na rin na gagawin itong mainit na isyu ng mga tao dahil kilala ang pamilya namin. Ngunit hindi ko inaasahan ang susunod na sinabi ng aking ama. “Besides, you should believe those predictions of people online. Hindi kita ang mukha ng anak ko at hindi niya kailan man gagawin iyon. And oh! About the fraud, people knew how generous I am. So, stop making false issues and accusations. We will never put the family’s name on dirt.”

I quickly turned off the television and browsed through my social media accounts. There was nothing but the people’s prediction about the issue. Majority of the people are defending me. The bashers were nowhere to be found. I was dumbfounded when the newly uploaded article flashed on my screen. It was an article about Sariah, my half cousin. She was an illegitimate child and was known as the forgotten Cervana in the clan, although she’s not using it as her surname, may dugo pa rin siyang Cervana kahit ayaw iyong tanggapin ng mga kamag-anak ko. Her mother was a drug dealer, the reason why my great grandmother couldn't accept it. 

Hindi ko na lang namalayan ang pagtulo ng luha sa mata ko. She’s used as a prey. My father turned the table to her and now she’s part of the mess I did. 

“What a fucking mess did I just made?” Huminga ako nang malalim at paulit-ulit na nagmura.