Chapter 1.1 - Beg

Solange Raviea Cervana.

“It was Sariah Villarica, I knew it! Her deceased mother was a drug dealer. No wonder they have the same blood.”

“It’s clearly not Solange, stop pulling her down with this mess. That woman has principles unlike this Sariah Villa—whoever the f*ck she is!”

“The evidence is on the table. The guy from the video spoke already and it was Sariah Villarica! Gusto niyo pa bang isubo sa inyo ang ebidensya?”

That was some of the comments on the said article. Napatakip ako ng bibig nang maalalang sinabi ni Dad na lilinisin niya ang lahat. I thought it’s for good, pero sa pangalawang pagkakataon, niloloko ko na naman ang sarili ko dahil napagtanto kong inayos niya iyon sa pamamagitan ng paglipat ng kamalian ko sa ibang tao. He put the spotlight on Sariah and in just a snap, people started to force her to hold accountable for what I did. Kahit na alam ko sa sarili kong ako ang may kagagawan ng lahat. It was sickening, I felt horrible about it.

It took another hour before the maid knocked on my door. My eyes were swollen even though I put makeup on already. My bruises are filled with foundation. Naglagay rin ako ng bandage sa palad ko para hindi makita ang mga sugat ko roon. I just wear a random dress from my closet. Nahihilo pa rin ako at hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko bang kumain dahil sa mga nangyari ngayong araw.

“Sit down,” my mother commanded. The maid pulled the chair so I sat down quietly. I felt the coldness of the gold choker on my neck because of the silence. My mom didn’t even look at me, while Dad’s probably going to sit anytime soon. 

“Madame, dumating na po ang mga bisita,” Luisa uttered. My mother signals her to let the visitors in. My heart started to throb when I heard the steps of their shoes, but I remained with a calm look. My dad sat down before they even came in. 

“Greet their eldest son,” he said in monotone. I just nodded. As if I have the chance to refuse.

“I’m sorry, we’re late.” A man in his middle-age came inside first. “Good evening, everyone.” My dad and I stood up from our seats. He rested his right palm on my back and greeted the guest.

“Good evening, Mister…” Peke akong ngumiti sa kanya.

“Oh, hija! Just call me dad, too. Besides, iyon naman ang dahilan kung bakit may salo-salo ‘di ba?” Natatawa siya habang nakahawak pa sa tiyan. 

Hindi ko iyon pinansin at nagpanggap lang na naintindihan ko ang sinasabi niya. Nanlulumo na ako sa kaloob-looban ko pero nanatili pa rin ako sa aking postura. A girl younger than me entered the wide door. Napatitig pa muna siya sa akin bago ngumisi. The middle son came in, hindi ko siya pinagtuunan ng pansin dahil pumasok na rin ang panganay nila na sa tingin ko ay mas matanda ng tatlong taon sa ‘kin. His clean cut hair was very protruding, na parang kapag ginalaw mo ay magagalit siya. The white long sleeved polo hugged his body perfectly. His eyebrow slit complemented his whole face. There was a humorous smirk on his lips when he noticed that I’m staring at him. Nilabanan ko ang titig niya sa ‘kin at nang hindi makayanan ay bigla siyang napatingin sa iba.

“Vernon.” His voice sent shivers down my spine. He offered his right hand. Hindi ko pa sana tatanggapin iyon pero nang maramdaman ko ang paghigpit ng hawak ng aking ama sa baywang ko ay agad ko iyong tinanggap. “Vernon Thobias Alejo, the eldest,” he added. I don’t usually watch local movies but I knew he’s an actor. Kilala ang pangalan niya sa modeling company namin. I bet he’s the CEO. The Alejos are known too because of their famous winery business.

“Solange Raviea Cervana, the only child,” I did the same way he introduced himself. His father laughed. Hindi ko alam kung pinipilit niyang matawa o ganoon lang talaga ang paraan ng pagtawa niya. 

“Shall we eat?” Mom uttered, she smiled at Vernon's mom before sitting. Tumingin ako sa ama, tila kinukwestyon kung bakit at para saan itong salo-salo pero wala siyang ibang binigay na sagot sa akin kung hindi ang pilit at madiin na ngiti. When the dinner started, I remained silent which is unusual because I used to be approachable whenever visitors come. May masama akong pakiramdam tungkol sa mga nangyayari ngayon.

“I love it here, very classy... “ Mrs. Thatiana Alejo screams so much elegance. Kahit na halata na ang edad niya ay nananatili pa rin siya sa ganoong postura. She looked around, pagkatapos noon ay napunta sa akin ang paningin niya. I smiled but she refused to give it back to me. “Do you mind if I ask, how old are you?” she asked.

I politely smiled. “I’m twenty-two years old, ma’am... “

“Hmm, very young.” She nodded. “So, you’re new to the industry? Modeling?” 

“Yes, ma’am, I joined my current company a year ago.” I slowly cut my steak.

“Oh, really? It seems so fast. You’re all over social media. And also, I saw your recent billboard on Edsa.” Tahimik lang ang lahat habang nagsasalita siya. “I hope you aren’t pressured to build your own name.” Napalingon ako ulit sa kanya, ngayon ay may ngiting makahulugan na sa kanyang labi.

I looked at my Dad when he held my hand underneath the table, he smiled, I did the same, kahit na masama ang loob sa pagpapanggap na ginagawa ko. “I’m not, ma’am… I’m enjoying it.”

“I’m glad to know that.” She slightly tapped her lips using the tissue. “Just call me, Mama.” Hindi na siya tumingin pang muli sa akin.

“My daughter can adapt easily and I’m very glad she’s gaining attention, as she should. Right, Seia?” Mama gazed at me. Kinuyom ko ang kamao ko habang lalo pang binabaon ang kuko sa palad tila pinipigilan ang sarili na magsabi ng mga salitang hindi magugustuhan ng pamilya ko.

“Of course, Mama…” Hindi ko alam kung ilang beses ba akong peke na ngumiti. Gusto kong magkulong na lang at bumalik na sa kwarto ko.

“How about Vernon? How old is he?” My father asked, glancing at Vernon. Nasa tapat ko siya kaya unang tumama ang misteryoso niyang mata sa akin. I still remember how I hated him in college. Sa tuwing naiisip ko iyon ay kumukulo ang dugo ko sa loob. He looked down, bahagya pang napatingin sa kamay ko kaya agad ko iyong tinago.

“I’m twenty-five years old, sir.” Bumaling siya kay Papa. 

“Hmm,” Papa said while chewing his food. “I heard you’re managing your winery company while being an actor, is that right?”

“Yes, sir.” Vernon nodded and once looked at me again.

“Oh, hijo! Just call me Papa. Besides, you’ll be my son in law soon.” He laughed together with Vernon’s dad who agreed with him. I was too stunned to speak. I expected this ever since, pero hindi ko alam na ngayon nila ito gagawin. I was convincing myself that I’m ready for it, pero iba pa rin pala talaga kapag harap-harapan nang sinabi sa ‘yo. 

My tears are about to shed. I saw how Vernon smirked with it, para bang alam niya na ang nangyayari at sa lamesang ito ay ako lang ang tanging nagulat. I waited for another minute to excuse myself. Naninikip ang dibdib ko at parang may sumasakal sa akin sa lugar na ‘to. 

“Papa, I’ll just go to the comfort room.” I gently wiped my lips. 

“Luisa!” He called the maid.

“Senyor?” Agad itong lumabas galing sa kusina.

“Pakisamahan si Seia papuntang comfort room—” Naputol ang sasabihin nito nang magsalita si Vernon.

“I’ll accompany her.” I quickly glanced at him. Pinipigilan siyang tumayo nang hindi ko sinasabi nang diretso. But the moment he stood up, I knew I didn't have a choice. “Let’s go, love…” I cringed. Tumaas ang balahibo ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Nagpaalam pa muna ako nang maayos. Inalalayan niya pa ako sa pamamagitan ng paghawak sa likod ko at nang makalagpas kami sa dining area ay agad akong nagsalita.

“Get your hands off me,” I uttered, emphasising every word. Nilagpasan ko ang comfort room at tinulak ang pintuan palabas at papuntang pool area.

“I thought you’re going to the comfort room?” Kinilabutan akong muli dahil sa lalim at lamig ng boses niya.

Lumingon ako sa kanya. He removed his necktie, opening the first two buttons of his shirt. His tattoo on his chest kind of shows, but that doesn’t stop me from saying something. “Leave,”

“What?” Naguguluhan niyang tanong kahit na malinaw naman ang sinabi ko.

“All of you,” I said pertaining to his family. He slightly chuckled. It’s not possible to make them leave, but I’m wishing that he could have the common sense to understand what I’m trying to say. Dahil alam kong alam niya rin ang nangyayari sa pamilya namin. 

“You’re still the same.” Pinanliitan niya ako ng mata. “You never change,”

“And you never learn!” I pointed my finger on him. “Are you blind? They’re going to manipulate everything! And I don’t want to marry someone like you! Fucking ruthless dog, sunod-sunuran sa pamilya!”

He smirked, amused by how I throw my words at him. “Hindi ba, ikaw rin?” Binalik niya sa ‘kin ang tanong. He slightly walk towards me but I remain on my position, hindi manlang natinag sa binibigay niyang tingin sa ‘kin. “Are you sleeping so much, Solange? Kung ganoon, pwede ka nang gumising.” Inayos niya ang takas ng buhok sa mukha ko, tila inuubos pa ang pasensya na natitira sa ‘kin. “You’re blind too, am I right? At kung sunod-sunuran lang naman pala ang usapan, you’re the one who supposed to be more offended.”

“You don’t know everything.” Kinuyom ko ang palad nang may maramdaman na kakaibang kirot sa ulo ko. Bigla rin akong nakaramdam ng pagbabaliktad ng sikmura ko.

“I hope so… I hope I don’t get to know everything.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Dahil kapag nalaman ko, you’re gonna beg on knees, real hard.” He clenched his jaw. “And because you’re the great Solange Raviea Cervana, you wouldn’t do that, right?”

“I would never beg—” 

He put his finger on my lips to stop me from speaking. “I am going to make you beg.” 

Marahas kong tinanggal ang kamay niya sa labi ko. “Fuck you.” Madiin kong sambit. 

“Try me, then?” He chuckled, showing his perfectly aligned teeth.

I laughed without humour. “You disgusts me to death,”

“Oh, baby, aren’t you aware that I feel the same, too?” He held my chin while examining my face. I couldn't utter a word when a familiar feeling inside me started to explode. Napahawak ako sa balikat niya pang suporta. And without any hesitation, I vomited on his shirt. Making me lose my dignity. Kasunod noon ay ang pagbagsak ko sa sahig, tuluyan nang nawalan ng malay pagkatapos niyang magmura ng ilang beses.