Raven: Watching Eyes

Raven

The base of the music rattles through my body as I dance, moving seductively between the tables. Slowly blowing kisses at men as they watch my body move in ways that taunt them. As the music floods the building I use it to my advantage teasing them the way my hips swing, and slowly dip down. The table is my support as I dance close to them, swaying my hips and tempting them to touch, when I see him reaching for me, my finger shakes at him as I tut, his friends howling with laughing.

My body drops, my knees taking the weight as I continue to swing my hips, my back leaning back against the ground. I continue to move my hips up and down, taunting them with my pussy facing them but covered so perfectly. I don’t stay long, I move to the next table, this time stepping on it. Using it as my stage, I don’t focus on the men this time. I dance, slowly kneeling with my back facing them.

The smoothness of fingers tucking paper into my garter tells me someone slipped me some money. I don’t stop the dance, I stand and twist to face the men sitting here. My hips swing harder, one of the men is practically drooling on the floor, his eyes fixed on my ass. I take notice of the other man who had delicately slipped money into my garter.

Unwilling to be impacted, take him in, his eyes wide as he notices me. If they were any wider he would surely lose his eyeballs. His mouth is agape, as he looks at me shocked and sickened. I give him a friendly wave, something I never usually do, more to ease his worries, then jump from the table. Refusing to let it, or him make me miss a beat, I dance my way back to the stage and finish my solo before walking out back

I drop onto the chair, exhaustion seeping through my body. Tonight is going to be fun, to face my mother and that fun, I need a drink. I flick through F******k, searching for a local party. Changing clothes I slip into a cropped vest and black denim shorts before throwing on some boots. I merely nod to the other dancers, I know their names, but my life isn’t for them, it’s not really for me but I have no choice but to live in. Walking out I pass the table, not missing his eyes on me as I leave.

I felt sorry for him, being with my mother, and falling for her tricks. He’s here though, so now, I don’t feel as sorry for him. I welcome the familiar scent of my car as I drive. Stopping I stare at the house, the windows no longer serve a purpose, and if there was a roof, it is no longer existent.

Cars align the front, lights on and music flooding from one of them. Walking through the cars I grab a drink from the back of one of them. These are my kind of parties. Thrown together, anyone is welcome, most know each other, but many don’t. I go unnoticed, just how I like it to be.

Drinking, I dance in the crowd, slowly losing hours. Warmth spreads through my hips as hands grasp them, and the body grinds against me as I dance. I don’t need to look and see who the person is. My bottle is now empty, so I throw it towards the bin. I work my hips faster, dancing with him. I wait for him to stop, or pull me closer, yet he simply dances with me.

Staying late isn’t an option. No doubt I will be moving tomorrow. My body spins and I kiss the unknown male who has danced with me. Without even looking at the guy, I walk backwards, slowly rounding the building to where no one is. Moans escape my lips as he pushes my shorts down. Some may call me a whore, but I see it as taking control of who touches me. I see it as trying to ensure the feeling of his hands on my flesh that seeps through my nightmares will be stopped by another man’s touch. Although it always fails, his touch washes from the shore of my nightmares and into the very first thoughts that I awaken to.

He expertly lifts me, despite his drunken state, my legs wrapping around his body, needing his touch to erase the feel of before. The drunken fool though, barely even leaves a lasting feeling on my body as he fucks me quick and restlessly, groaning and finishing, while I’m barely even panting. It felt like a warm-up for the warm-up. He steps back, straightening his clothes and walks out.

I laugh, his touch won’t chase away the devil’s in my nightmares, but I knew whoever I wanted to sleep with tonight, wouldn’t help. Everyone is past the point of drunk, yet I expected more than a thirty-second fumble and him groaning in pleasure. Groaning in disappointment I sort myself out and walk back to the party. I continue to dance and drink, watching as the moon begins to disappear a warning I need to leave.

The taxi back is a reminder that everything is set to change, again. Going to my room, I strip down to my bralette and panties I lie back on the bed, sleep whisking me away.

~~~~*****~~~~~****~~~~~****~~~~

My body jolts at the bang, sitting up, I look and see my mother standing by the door, a furious expression covers her face, one I am all too used to. Here it comes.

“You just had to, didn’t you? Stop whoring yourself out, Raven.” She throws my coat at me. “Pack, because we’re leaving.” She turns to leave, but her verbal abuse shouldn’t be aimed at me.

“Because it’s my fault your soon-to-be husband was in a strip club?” I stare at her.

“It wouldn’t be an issue if my slut daughter didn’t work there! Everytime Raven you mess things up for me!” She screams and I laugh.

“Dean, he was at a strip club, not my fault. Bob, your last husband, realised quickly you just wanted his money and threw you out. Richard before that, well, I will take some blame.” I laugh.

“Just pack, here’s the address.” She throws the paper at me, and I read. Well, this is miles away. It will take hours for me to drive there. More wasted money on petrol.

“So, what is the name of the potential husband number six mother? Does he realise you jump from man to man and take their cash?” I grin, at least I am open with how I get money. I dance and strip, my mother just does it in private, to one man and pretends she loves them. They all find out she doesn’t, they all find her checking out a new man with more money.

“That doesn’t matter. He’s away for the weekend. Pack your shit, I told Dean we would be gone before he got back from work.” She narrows her eyes at me. Pack my shit? It was never unpacked mother dearest.

“Okay Mother, I will see you at the new house.” I don’t bother unpacking anymore, I live out of a case and a box, the only things that stay out are my speaker, charger and a few other things. Picking up the few items of clothing that weren’t in the case I drop them in it and throw my other crap into the box.

This crap is all I need. I’m not like my mother, I won’t use the men to gain a new wardrobe. I will work and buy things I can afford. Even with her long list of fiancés, I refused to accept help from them, bile rises in my throat, I can never see gifts from her partners as innocent anymore.

With each new house, each new fiancé, and each new town, my mother’s collection of clothing, perfumes, shoes and jewellery expanded, even though she already had enough for a whole country. I leave and get the taxi back to the derelict house where I left my car. Arriving there, I get out of the taxi with my bag and box. I can’t help but smile seeing some people still here, asleep on the grass, or in their cars. There’s no shame here. This place, is far enough away from where we lived to not be judged or faced with rich kids who think they own the world.