Raven: Dearest Father

Raven

The sound of someone screaming my name seeps into my dreamless sleep state and awakens me. Stumbling from the bed, I walk out and see him standing there looking at me annoyed. I guess I am going to see him more than once in a blue moon, so I need a name.

“I never got your name.” I don’t fancy calling him Dad, he isn’t.

“Dave. Look, I need you to clean up through at the other house.” He holds out keys and I laugh. My eyes clash with his. Wait, he’s serious?

“Raven, do as you’re told for once. The kitchen, bathroom and bedroom need cleaning. I need to go, behave and have it done and you out without an hour.” Turning he walks off. So I have a choice, I can not do it and get shit from him, or do it and give in? I have just got here, so I at least want to get settled before any major arguments.

I walk through to the other house and begin to clean his mess. It’s clear from the contents of the rooms, that he had another woman here, which means this all ends soon again. I’m doing this purely so we don’t have to move soon. Staying longer than a few months would be great for me to be able to save enough and stay once he does.

Once I finish, I walk back through to the other side of the house. Stripping I shower and get ready for work. I will go to the bar and meet Ava before starting my shift. Leaving in the car I find myself looking around the neighbourhoods wondering where I would fit in. Stopping outside the bar I laugh.

Hell, I didn’t expect this from Ava, it’s a bikers club. Does she really work in a fucking bikers club? Getting out of the car, I admire the bikes as I pass them. I would love one, but moving so often and having a bike makes it impossible. A car I can throw my shit in and drive, a bike, I would need to figure out a way to move my things. My mother never lets me put my things in the moving truck, apparently, my filth will rot her expensive crap, which it is, crap.

Walking into the bar I look around, pulling out a stool I slam myself down on it and call Ava from the other side of the bar. I watch as she runs to me and gives me a quick hug before handing me a drink. My eyes follow her as she turns and goes back to the guy. She stands talking to him, nodding he walks off and she comes back to me. She leans against the bar smiling.

“So, you never said it was a bikers club, I could work here instead of dancing, hell I could work here dancing.” I laugh and she groans.

“It’s been twenty-four hours and I already know you’re fucking crazy girl. Plus, I don’t think Big Bear would be happy having you strip and dance here.” She laughs and I’m about to ask who Big Bear is when someone speaks.

“I don’t know, I would pay extra to see her strip here.” I smile at the guy.

“Thank you, see, he would pay extra.” We both laugh.

“That’s because Jake would pay extra for any woman to strip, wouldn’t you Jake?” She looks at him and he nods laughing.

“Busted, so you dance?” He looks at me and I nod.

“At Skinsteel. First night tonight.” I feel nervous which isn’t like me.

“Well, I may come to cheer you on. What do you think Ava, shall I get a few guys to come to cheer her on?” He laughs and Ava shakes her head.

“No, you won’t, or if you want to, ask Big Bear.”

“Exactly how big is Big Bear?” I need to know, then I won’t piss him off by mistake. I watch as they laugh.

“Big Bear isn’t big or a bear. He got the name after he hit a big ass bear with his bike, and broke both his legs.” Jake laughs and I roll my eyes.

“See I was picturing this big, muscling guy, beard, tattoos, wearing leather.” I look around and point to a guy. “Like him. I could have wet dreams of him all day.”

“That Diesel. He’s a crazy fucker. So if you want to daydream of him, go ahead but don’t make it known.” Ava laughs and I nod, sitting I talk to her before going to the club.

I don’t see this ‘big bear’ guy, but some of the guys in the club are friendly and welcoming. I leave and hug Ava goodbye. Walking into work Alexa greets me and I go through to the dressing rooms. Ella and Sasha are getting ready and talking me through tonight’s routine. I find myself relaxing and having fun with them before it’s my turn to dance.

The stage helps me relax, dancing I make my way to the smaller stage, and wrap my body around the pole as I move. I like this place, all the tables can be replaced with a pole and mini stage. It removes the restriction of pole dancing to being just on the main stage. It means I can dance closer to customers using the pole. I spin and dangle myself upside down, my hips grinding against the pole as I do.

The first dance ends and I head backstage, quickly getting changed while Ella does her solo. As I’m strapping the shoes on I hear the song begin to finish. I rush out and get ready to walk onto the stage as she walks off. We give each other a quick nod but nothing more.

Taking in a deep breath I step onto the stage, this time I dance, slowly removing my clothes until I’m in lingerie. My body moves to the music as I dance between the tables, stopping by one I lay across it, my body moving and taunting the men. I wink at him before dancing my way back to the stage in time for the song to finish. The following hour passed quickly, considering my nerves before I was shocked by how relaxed I became and how quickly the time passed.

~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~

I walk into the biker club and sit down, Ava is clearly just finishing up. I’m tired, which is unusual for me, I don’t often get tired from dancing.

“Party tonight!” She grins and skips to me.

I groan. “I hate rich people’s houses.” Their parties are great but I don’t want that. There is always an aura of perfection just because of the house.

“Don’t worry this one is outside. Booze, and music, no rich prick house.” She laughs her words as we leave, getting in my car I drive as she gives me directions.

“How was your first night?” She smiles.

“Shit, I kept waking up.” It takes me too long to get settled in new places. The alcohol at least kept the nightmares away. She laughs looking at me like I’m crazy. Why is me having a shit night crazy?

“I meant dancing, work?”

Duh, of course, that’s what she meant. “Oh, well that was fucking amazing. How long have you worked at the club?” I will ask how she got the job next. She’s quiet, I’m shocked she got the job, most of the time biker clubs have a ruthless chick behind the bar. She could be ruthless, with a little coaxing.

“About a year.” She looks at me and laughs. “As for how I got it, my dad used to be a biker, so I was there a lot. Big Bear gave me the job, he recruits the people for the Caddel brothers, not that I see them often.”

“Caddel brothers?” Who are they? She never mentioned them when she explained who everyone was at that party.

“They own the biker clubs in the city, actually they run most of the city as well. Kind of the mafia of the city, they make the rules, we follow them.”

So she means some old guys who have lived here their entire lives.v“Some old wrinkly men then, that’s all you needed to say.” I laugh and she joins in.

“If by old and wrinkly you mean, fit as hell, toned, and like they stepped off the cover of a biker magazine yes. They don’t bear much resemblance to each other, well the youngest doesn’t. We assume they are brothers.”

I groan at her words, and I almost drool picturing them in my head.

“Trust me, I’ve seen them in the bar, they don’t speak to me, I avoid them. They often go to parties but haven’t been here for three weeks. No idea why.” She shrugs. “They often leave, but usually not for longer than a week, so this time is unusual.

“Maybe they gave up and left?” She laughs at my words and looks at me like I’m crazy. We already know I am. I now however can’t help but wonder who the Caddel brothers are. I’m trying to paint an image of them in my mind.

“So, you mentioned your dad?” She looks at me and I nod.

“I don’t even know him. I was told my dad was dead, to be fair, he probably isn’t even my dad it’s just Heather’s way of getting rid of me, calling a random guy she once fucked and saying I’m their daughter.”

We both laugh like it’s a joke, but it’s more than likely true. He has changed partners every few months my entire life.

“Has he spoken to you at all?”

“His name is Dave, and he told me to tidy his bathroom and kitchen. That’s about it after he gave me a mini-lecture about stripping and slapping me.” I shrug and laugh. It’s no different to my mother’s abuse, Nakusa, mother, Nakusa. The name burns me.

“That’s fucked up. We should get our own place.” She grins and I don’t want to hurt her, but I’m not moving in with anyone. I’m not bringing anyone in too deep, they won’t survive, they never do.

“No point, I will be gone in a few months. I never stay in one place long enough to settle.” I don’t. I need to accept that is partly my fault, my past, what happened. Sure my mum changes husband often, and cheats and gets caught but he follows us, and when he does everything goes bad.

“Are you okay?” She’s looking at me worriedly, no doubt seeing the effects he has on me, in my expression. Turning I smile and nod.

“Yeah, just considering getting so drunk I can’t walk home, so you’re carrying me.” She laughs with me and nods. The fact is, I am, as this conversation brought him into my mind too much.

“You did for me so tonight I will for you.” We pull up and stop and my eyes widen. Well, it isn’t a rich prick’s house, that’s for sure. It’s nothing more than an old car park. The car lights illuminate the area. Music floods from one of the cars, and three cars have the boots open with booze in. I look around and take in the broken-down building, that looks like old toilets. People are either dancing, sitting in cars or on them. It’s like being back in the other place, relaxed, with no expectations, no perfect porcelain ornaments.

“These people don’t care, so don’t freak if you find someone in your car later.” Ava laughs and I shrug. “I mean it, all cars are unlocked, no keys in them, but people sit in cars, talk, take drugs, have sex, everything really.” She opens the door and I take out the keys opening mine and leaving the door open. Why bother closing it if someone is going to use it later?

I follow her and we grab a drink and begin dancing. I drink too much but I need it to help me sleep. I watch as Ava dances with a guy and I continue to dance alone. It’s the first time I’ve actually seen her dancing, normally she stands to the side. Hands grasp my hips and I continue to dance, not bothering to look back at who it is. Our bodies move together as my hips grind against him.

“Excuse me!” I look up to see a blonde lass looking hurt, she glares at me but stands shocked. “That’s my boyfriend.” Ah, I nod and step away. I’m not willing to do that. Fuck no.

“My bad, I didn’t even ask. Maybe train him better, then he won’t stray as much.” I grin and walk away watching them argue.

“Well, if it isn’t sugar butt.” I laugh at the words and look up at Jasper. “Do you party every night then?” He looks at me waiting.

“If I don’t, I still get drunk. What are you doing here anyway? It isn’t like last night’s scene.” It’s far from it.

“I can party in the rich houses and in the slumps sugar butt. Just like you, want a drink?” He smirks and I nod. I watch him walk away and grab our drinks, bringing them over we dance and drink. I need to feel something, alcohol is great at stopping the nightmares but it numbs me too much. It doesn’t dissolve the feel of his touch.

Wrapping my hand around the back of his neck I pull his face to mine and kiss him. I expect him to pull back but instead, his hands grasp my hips harder as his mouth matches mine in the movements. Our tongues dance with each other. He moves us backwards until my body is pinned against the wall.

“Are you sure?” I laugh at his words and hear him groan. “I meant here, not are you sure you want to fuck, I meant here in a car park full of people.”

“I don’t care, and we’re down the side of the building so likely no one will see.” I pull him back to me, and his hands grasp my thong and pull ripping it from my body as I unfasten his jeans and free his cock. He wastes no time, putting on the condom he pushes my legs open and thrusts into me. I get ready for the usual, quick, thirty-second to two-minute fuck that has no rhythm, or control. The type that has me feeling like I was petted and nothing more.

His hips begin moving, my body pinned against the concrete wall. His hips push forward, forcing his cock deeper before his hips begin rolling. Shit, I moan and grasp him, he takes his time. Sure he fucks me fast and hard, but he stops before finishing so it lasts longer.

I’m on the edge, pulling him closer as his hips speed up, his mouth biting against my neck and I’m done. I’m crying out as I hear him groaning, his hips thrusting hard and deep as he holds me against him.

He doesn’t move straight away, he stays with his body pinning mine against the wall, his cock still inside of me as I calm down and come back to reality. There’s no rush to walk away and forget this moment. I watch him step back and sort himself out and I stand shocked.

“You look confused, why?” He chuckles.

“Do I?” I probably do. “Well, because usually in these situations the guy is done within two minutes and I barely feel touched.” We both laugh.

“So you were expecting me to be another one-minute wonder, fucking you fast until I get pleasure and walking?” I nod, I did, I won’t deny it. “Na, that’s fucked up that men do that. Let’s go drink.” He walks and pulls me with him. That’s unusual normally after sex we just walk our separate ways. My hand flattening my skirt. I need to remember I have no underwear on. I look around and see Ava leaving with a guy. She isn’t drunk, that’s a bonus. I didn’t expect her to leave with a guy though, based on our conversations, she hardly ever fucks guys.

My night disappears into drinking and partying until I become too drunk to even drink anymore. I drop my keys in Jasper’s hand, he hasn’t drunk much, so opted to drive me home. What a sweetheart.

Stopping outside he glances to the house and then me. “You don’t peg me as the rich kid type.”

“I’m not.” Laughing we get out, his eyes surveying me. “My dad is fucking a rich woman apparently.” He nods in understanding.

“To be honest, I don’t usually come this far up, I avoid the parties his high. Hence I was confused that this is your home.”

My head shakes. “Not my home, I have no home Jasper, just a place to lay my head and recharge.” Saying goodnight I walk in and go straight to my room, falling asleep instantly. The alcohol blinds the nightmares and Jaspers’s touch somehow burns away his.