3. Six

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I had to repeat the words over and over again in my head. I was standing on the precipice of the backyard, with Ethan standing behind me. I was back home, after so many months, and my timing was impeccable. 

I had just walked in on the alpha ceremony. Harper's Alpha ceremony. He was standing on the stage, his blood mixing with the blood of my best friend, Natalie. Who was now his Luna? In addition to being the mother of his child. 

So, Natalie, who was my best friend, was now pregnant with my mate's child and was also his Luna. My brain was processing what I was seeing and what it all meant. 

I knew that the pack was having rogue problems. Some serious rogue problems. This would explain why Harper had to become the alpha, considering the fact Harper's dad was seriously wounded. 

The pack in a crisis needed an alpha. I knew that. Everyone knew that. Then why did it pain me to see Harper on the stage with someone else beside him, taking the oath I was supposed to take, sharing blood with him, like I was supposed to do?

I felt everything for a second. Who I was and why I had come here. All I could take in was the people standing on the stage, Harper, Natalie, and Harper's parents. My gaze settled on Harper and refused to move. 

I knew the bond between Harper and Natalie formed because I felt it in me and it was written clearly on their faces. From this distance, I could see everything. 

My gaze settled on Harper and froze. His expressions changed, and his posture became freer as time passed but I couldn't make myself look at anything or anyone other than him. 

Four months. Four months, I had been away and the sight of him still gave a jolt to my heart. I didn't know if it was just because of the mate bond. It couldn't be, could it? Was the mate bond so powerful that everything else just vanished? 

The jolt I had felt when I first laid eyes on Harper was nothing compared to the jolt I felt when his wandering eyes met my own. I could see him taking a double take on the stage, see the slight shiver in his body when he saw me. I didn't know what the shiver meant but I wanted to.

His intense stare bit me like a punch in the gut. It sent me reeling for a few moments. It was the shock mainly, that he still held the power to do that to me. Even after all this time. After all this heartbreak and tears and betrayal. 

The initial shock of seeing him after such a long time wore off, and the reality of the situation set in. The fact that I was standing on the back door of the yard where his alpha ceremony was taking place, set in. 

After that, the panic set in. The panic of walking into the pack house without knowing what was happening exactly. The panic of feeling betrayed and wronged even though I had told Harper I was not coming back. Ironic how I ended up doing exactly that, returning home, that is.

Harper was the alpha and Natalie was his Luna.

My breathing sped up as the weight of these words settled in. Harper was still reeling from the shock of actually seeing me, in the flesh, especially after I told him I wasn't coming back, merely a few days ago.

I turned around and ran back to Ethan's car, afraid Harper would magically come up behind me and talk to me. I was more afraid of the fact that I would give into his charm, his hold over me, my love for him, and I would listen to whatever he had to say. I was weak when it came to him and knowing the truth gave me a strange sort of strength. 

I felt tears stinging my eyes as the rush of feeling overwhelmed me. It was crippling and suffocating. 

I turned when I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to find that it was Ethan, staring at me with a worried look on his face. "Take me home, Ethan, please."

Ethan nodded and said something. I could see his lips moving but my brain couldn't register what he was saying. I felt his arms around me, and he guided me to the passenger seat of his car. 

I had asked him to take me home. But where was home? I didn't know and all these thoughts were hurting my head, making me feel emotions I didn't want to feel. 

I must have given Ethan directions because half an hour later, he parked the car in front of my house. The house I had lived in all my life, where I had grown up, and where my family lived. The family I had not seen for over four months. The meeting would have to wait, I realized, as all of them would probably be at school or on their jobs. 

Seeing my home clenched my heart, drawing an unexplainable pain in my head, had my throat closing painfully, and brought tears to my eyes. My shoulders shook and I was immediately enveloped into Ethan's arms. I buried my head in his chest and hugged him back. His arms moved up and down my back to comfort me. 

It might seem silly on the surface, the fact that I was crying even when nothing happened but it somehow felt like a dam had been broken. A dam to my emotions. Everything I had consciously or subconsciously bottled up in my heart over these last couple of months. And now, I was overwhelmed with emotions. Each emotion felt heightened, each feeling magnified. It might not make sense but it was just how I felt. 

"I'm sorry it didn't turn out the way you hoped it would be," Ethan whispered in my ear. How exactly had I expected it to happen? For everyone to welcome me with bear hugs and forget how I left them high and dry, even the people who didn't deserve it. I wasn't a fool; I didn't expect welcome bouquets and fireworks but I sure as hell didn't expect this. To walk in on the alpha ceremony. 

I couldn't say it enough. I wanted to say it enough because at least that way my brain could comprehend what had happened and accept it as reality and not some crazy twist in a supernatural novel. 

My house would be empty, at least that was a comfort right now because I wanted to be alone right now. Gather my thoughts, process them, and then decide on the course of action to take. I couldn't just go back with my tail tucked between my legs, now that I had come here. 

Also, I didn't know how long I was going to be left alone. Now that Harper had seen me, now that he knew I was here, I was sure I wouldn't be left alone for long. People would come knocking at my door soon. And I couldn't leave, not when I knew people I loved were in danger, including my friends and my family. I had gotten a very close display to leave now. More than that, I had to deliver the message the moon goddess had asked me to convey to Sebastian. Why she didn't visit him in his dreams directly was beyond me. Surely, it would be easier for her, to contact him directly than to make me a messenger. All this trouble would have been avoided if the goddess did that, I suppose.

I leaned back when I felt Ethan's shirt go damp under my face. I cringed a little at the realization and apologized for it. "I'm ok, Zara. A little wet spot is the least of my concerns right now."

I nodded. "I'm fine. I just had a lot of emotions to go through in a small period." 

His gaze moved over my face, concerning and judging if I was truly right like I said I was. He nodded wearily, probably still unsure of my mental state at the moment. 

I got out of the car without saying another word and Ethan followed suit. I looked at the house looming before me, my childhood home. Somehow, it felt like I had grown out of it. Sure, it felt nostalgic coming back but I didn't feel the need to stay rooted to this place. Not anymore. Four months wasn't that long of a time but it had changed me. I wasn't sure if I was okay with it, this change was drastic and it hit me more right then, as I stood before my home, which didn't feel like a home to me anymore. 

My thoughts and emotions were a jumbled mess. I wasn't making sense to myself right now and I desperately wanted to lie down for a while and sift through my thoughts and emotions, to feel better. I needed to do that. It was how I coped. 

"I will introduce all my family to you once they come back home in the afternoon," I whispered and without expecting a reply walked to the front door. I took out my set of keys and inserted them into the door to unlock the door. 

"I'm sure your parents will be surprised to see you back. With an older guy nonetheless." Ethan teased and I laughed as I imagined what my dad's reaction would be when I would introduce Ethan to him. 

"He believes that I have horrible taste in boys and that I am attracting the worst of them." I chuckled and entered my house. Instead of giving Ethan a tour of my very simplistic house, I directed him to the guest house on the first floor. 

"The worst guys? I highly doubt that." He teased again and I turned back to look at him. 

"Well, I haven't given him a reason to believe otherwise," I whispered, looking down at the ground. Sensing I needed to be alone, Ethan entered the room, looked around, and wished me a good sleep, even though it was midday. 

I smiled and made my way to my room. I didn't hesitate before entering but somehow being in my room after such a long time brought a calming effect. 

I walked in a straight line to the bed and plonked myself into it. My head shot up as a strange smell hit my nose. This scent shouldn't be on my bed. 

My brain somehow smelt Harper's scent in my bed but that couldn't have been possible, now, could it? It was most probably my mind playing tricks on me, considering I was high on my emotions right now. I sighed, and snuggled deep into the bed, savoring the scent.