3. Eleven

~ Harper’s pov ~ 

I was being selfish, I knew that. I shouldn't have left Zara last night like that, I knew that too. But the thing was, I had to. Apart from checking on my dad's status, I also had to do a few very important things for the pack. 

I didn't want to leave her like that. The way she was looking at me like she never wanted to let me go, made my wolf and my heart go crazy. I had dreamt of that look on Zara's face in my dreams so many times that it felt like a fantasy to see it in reality. The look symbolized want, need, hope, and all the emotions alike. 

My wolf was reluctant to let go, after having Zara in my arms for so much time, I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay there, in her room and lay beside her. I had slept in her bed so many times while she was away, it would be a welcome change to sleep beside her for once, caging her in my limbs and breathing in her scent. I would have given anything to wake up to her beside me and see how amazingly we fit together, both physically and emotionally.

I wanted to tell her; I was almost going to but then we were interrupted by her father knocking on the bedroom door. It somehow felt like a sign and I followed my advice to not tell Zara yet. As it is, it would be over in the next twenty-four hours.

There was a reason I was crowned alpha, with a chosen alpha. The pack trackers had found the alleged rogue pack who had been attacking us and we had to go and crush them. It was decided that as soon as I was made alpha, the best warriors of our pack, with Aiden and me would lead the attack on the rogues, who were stationed at the East border of the pack. All the plans, strategies, and techniques were decided and we were going to do it. 

I wanted to tell Zara this, that the pack was planning an attack on the rogue pack the very next morning, but I couldn't. Firstly, I didn't want to overwhelm her with this information. I knew that if I told her this piece of information, she could handle it, but with everything that's been going on, I just couldn't. And secondly, I did not want to worry her. I knew it was bold of me to assume that she would worry over me, after all the things I had done, but several other people were going to fight whom she loved, like Aiden, Samantha, and several of the wolves who had been her classmates since she was old enough to walk. I didn't want to punch her with this information and leave her in a wondering and panicky mess. I didn't want her to spend her time constantly worrying and overthinking about who would come back and who would not.

So, unable to resist telling her, I had left. The guilt of leaving her without saying anything wrecked me but I knew it was important. 

After sliding out of her window, I drove back to the hospital to check up on Dad. It was a relief to know that he was stable and would survive the night. He hadn't been conscious since the ceremony in the morning, but I was going to take whatever snippet of good news I got. 

I had mind-linked all the warriors who would accompany me tomorrow to get a good night's rest before we attack the rogues in the morning. I didn't want to give the rogues any more time than I already had. As far as I knew, they had no idea that they were spotted, so it didn't make a difference if we attacked them at night or during daybreak. I just wanted to do it at the earliest and have it done right.

I spent the night in the very uncomfortable hospital chair beside Dad's hospital bed and slept for a few hours. It was tough to sleep because my wolf was super excited and powered by a huge dose of adrenaline and testosterone. His mate had come back, he had to hold her in his arms and soon, he would get the utmost pleasure of ripping off some rogue wolves. Soon, he would get the opportunity to carry out his first order as the alpha of the red lakes pack and he was beyond excited. I was excited too but the excitement was somehow dulled by the realization that many of the pack members wouldn't be coming back on their own two feet tomorrow and I would have to be there to attend their funerals and honor them because they would have died doing an immense service to the pack.

Earlier, I had planned to keep the fact that we were going to attack the rogues from my mom. With Dad on the hospital bed and Katelyn striving for her attention, I knew she wouldn't do well with all the pessimism and overthinking that came with knowing about such details. But then, I decided to let her know because it would take a lot of energy to keep it from her, I would have to make sure my mental block was up against her probing. Not just me, every other pack member would have to resist the mind link with her. So, I told her. She was calm when I informed her of the plans and she had listened to all of them patiently. In the end, she had just asked me to come back safely. I had promised her I would and I meant to keep that promise. 

At 10 o'clock, I called everyone for a last-minute meeting to revise and go through our attack plan once again. 

"We will attack from two sides. I will lead one and Aiden will lead the other." I gazed around at the attentive faces of 70 wolves, who were going to fight by my side today. "There are estimated to be nearly 90 rogue wolves in the camp that's stationed at our east border and I'm fairly confident that even though we are lesser in number, we will overpower them and make them pay for all the lives they have cost us." The warriors grimly nodded in agreement. 

"We also have to bring at least five rogue wolves back for questioning. So, if you can get away with knocking them out instead of killing them, knock them out." Murmurs rose in agreement and I nodded in respect at all the fellow pack members in front of me and they bowed back at me. 

The meeting soon ended and everyone filed out of the meeting room. We would leave for the rogue camps in twenty minutes and then all the bloodbath would begin. 

"Harper?" Samantha came forward when everyone but Aiden and I had filed out of the room. As the new beta female, she was going to accompany us and play her part in the attack against the rogues. It would be her first time participating in an attack and I could see that she was nervous. If she was nervous, I was sure Aiden would be all out anxious, knowing that soon, his mate would be in danger.

"You're going to be alright, Sam. You've nothing to be afraid of." I tried to soothe her worries and make her sure of herself. I had seen her in the practice sessions fighting in both human and wild form. She had learned quickly and fast and had become a skilled fighter in a very short time. The muscles she had developed were proof of her prowess in the fighting arena.

"Is it true Zara has come back?" she asked, her eyes narrowed at me as if I would keep the truth from her. So, that's what she was so antsy about. 

I smiled softly and nodded. "Yes, she has." 

Samantha's face betrayed nothing and she calmly nodded before walking out of the room. I looked at Aiden to wonder what was going on. 

"She's hurt. She has been nothing but supportive of Zara from the first day and gets back nothing in return. Sam didn't know when her best friend went away, she had no contact with Zara these last few months, she didn't know when Zara was going to be back and Zara didn't even visit her after coming back." 

I sighed, knowing he was right. Zara had no reason to treat Samantha the way she did. Me and Natalie were clearly in the wrong but Samantha had been in Zara's corner since the second they became friends. I was sure Aiden was hurt on some level too. Even though Zara and he weren't lifelong friends, they had grown close in the few months that I and Zara had dated.

"It's time, Aiden," I said while he nodded. We both walked out of the lack house, where we were greeted by the whole contingent of our attack troops. I nodded in agreement and shifted into my white wolf and everyone else followed. 

I started running in the direction of the rogues, exactly like we had planned. That was when it hit me. The pain. The excruciating pain which was the result of your mate cheating on you.