3. Ten

I was kissing Harper and he was kissing me. 

The feeling felt so foreign and yet so natural as if my body didn't forget what my brain did. Sparks were exploding all over my body. The fabled sparks, came alive whenever one touched his/her destined mate. The feeling of feeling Harper against my body was indescribable. It was so heady, never making me want to let go. 

I crushed my body to Harper's, eliciting a throaty groan from him. I relished the fact that I was able to do this to him, to this powerful and always in-control werewolf. It made me feel powerful, something only a girl could relate to. I could make Harper, the big bad alpha, lose control.

He pulled back a little, making my lips tingle and I resisted the urge to pull him back and start another long-drawn-out kiss. "I really should go!"

What? No.

Why was he saying this? I was enjoying kissing Harper. It made me feel so good and made me forget everything. Being with him landed me in a heady space, where everything was right with the world and I didn't need to make decisions or over thinking about everything going on in my life.

"What? Why?" I whispered back, not wanting him to go. Not after all the time we spent away from each other the irony that I was the one who wanted time apart, wasn't lost on me.

"Dads in the hospital. I have to see him. Make sure he's alright." His thumb caressed my cheek and I let myself have this moment because soon, my brain will catch up to what was happening and scold me for what I was doing and how I was acting. 

His dad was in the hospital? But how? When I saw him this morning, during the alpha ceremony, on the stage, he seemed fine. He had to be fine if he was up on that stage, slicing his palm to share his blood with Harper and transferring the alpha title to him.

A sudden knock on the door startled me and I jumped away from Harper as if he had burnt me. "Zara?" Dad's muffled sound came through the door and I took a deep breath in before answering him.

"Yeah, Dad?" I said, loud enough for him to hear me. I was glad that it was my dad who was on the other side of the door and not Ethan. Being a werewolf, he would have sensed that there was someone else in the room with me and then, I would have to answer questions I didn't want to.

"Are you alright? I thought I heard something." He sounded tired and sleepy and I was glad for his lack of alertness at the moment. 

"Yeah, I'm ok. I just can't sleep." I put my arms around my body, suddenly feeling chills all over my body, now that I wasn't touching Harper. 

"Try to sleep, ok? Goodnight." 

"Goodnight, Dad," I said and heard the sound of his retreating footsteps down the stairs. I heard the door of my parent's bedroom shut and finally relaxed. "Now tell me why your dad is in the hospital?" I turned around to talk to Harper, but he was already gone, leaving a gust of cool wind and my curtain fluttering in the wind. 

I sighed and walked towards the window to close it. I wished he could stay more. 

Hell, no. What was I doing? The absence of Harper's body had somehow brought me back to reality. It was no doubt I had a really strong physical and emotional connection to Harper. I could not make it disappear; I had no wish to make it disappear. But this realization didn't change the reality of our situation. He was soon going to become the father of Natalie's baby, who also happened to be one of my closest friends ever. 

I plopped on the bed and huffed on the pillow. I didn't know what to do. What was someone even supposed to do in this situation?!

***

I woke up groggy and troubled. Groggy because I hadn't slept well and troubled because I still didn't know what to do. I didn't even know how to face Harper after last night. How was I supposed to act now that I had been MIA for more than four months, came back to watch him take his alpha vows with someone who was not me, and then I kissed him. I kissed him. I didn't know how this situation could have more drama or complications. And I wasn't proud to say that I played an equal part in it.

But I got up from the bed knowing one thing: I had to visit Sebastian today. If he was in the hospital like Harper had told me last night, I needed to relay the moon goddess's message as soon as possible. All thanks to the pack tour I had got months ago; I knew there could be only one hospital where Sebastian would be admitted. As soon as I was done with my morning routine, I was ready to visit him.

"Where are you going?" Mom asked as soon as she saw me, all dressed and ready to go.

"One of my friend's fathers is admitted to a hospital and I wanted to pay him a visit," I said, carefully evading the particular friend's name, lest my mother recognize the familiar name. 

"And I'm going with her." I jumped at Ethan's sudden entrance into the kitchen. My face flushed as I realized that he had been only meters away when Harper and I had kissed last night. It was all shades of wrong and guilt settled in a deep pit inside my stomach. 

I didn't have it in me to say no to Ethan. Not when he would have the chance to meet a white alpha. Being a scroll keeper, I was sure it would mean a lot to him. More than that, I wanted him there beside me. He somehow seemed like a beacon of support to me and I knew that I would need it today. Maybe it was the batair bond we shared, or maybe not but I couldn't deny the need to stay close to Ethan, exactly how I couldn't deny my feelings and attraction towards Harper. 

Shit, how did my life get so confusing?

After having our lunch (yes, lunch, because I slept straight through breakfast), we got into my car and drove to the hospital. Ethan had resisted using my car but relented when I told him that he didn't know the way towards the hospital, I did. I would be the one driving the car and I was dying to drive my car after being driven around by the people around me for months. Driving yourself somehow gave you a sense of independence and I was going to enjoy every bit of mine. At least as long as it lasted.

I drove my car and parked it in front of the hospital where I was sure Sebastian was admitted. As soon as I cut the engine, my spirits dampened immediately. The weight of the message I was supposed to be delivered settled in my heart, cursing the goddess for making me the messenger of the bad news. 

Ethan pulled me into his arms, knowing the cause of my sudden change of emotions. I hadn't told him the exact message I was supposed to give to Sebastian, but he knew it wasn't anything good. He knew that it was serious enough to make me upset because I cared about Sebastian. He had done so much for me and had gone out of his way to make sure I was comfortable. He was somehow like a father to me; in the short time I had known him. 

"It's going to be ok," Ethan whispered in my hair and I nodded feebly in his chest, seriously doubting if everything would ever be ok again.

I leaned back and made a pathetic attempt to smile at him. His features softened and he pressed his lips to mine. My entire body immediately relaxed and I kissed him back. 

All thoughts of being the bearer of bad news flew away. Everything in the vicinity vanished. Only Ethan and I remained in my car. 

Ethan pulled back and smiled softly at me. "Let's go." I nodded weakly and got out of the car. Ethan walked around the car and took my hand in his and I smiled at him to show him that I genuinely appreciated the support and strength he was giving me. 

The hospital building loomed before me and I took a deep breath before entering it. 

It was at that moment that the cold reality of the situation hit me like bricks. What the hell did I do? Did I kiss both Harper and Ethan within a day?