Chapter 3—Will you stand?

Lashed with irritation I looked at him in the eyes and pushed him to give me some space. THE PROXIMITY WAS DEADLY! THE AIR WAS GOING THIN!

Bumuntong hininga ako at itinaas ang dalawang kamay na tila sumusuko.

"Okay, what else do you want to talk about our child Mr. Hawkson?" I impatiently said. If he doesn't want the baby, then he can just decline standing for our child. I don't care.

To be honest, I was hoping that he would at least make a proposal, but all he did in that  was shake his head in dismay of what we had. Just thinking about it makes my heart swell with anger.

"Look, I am sorry for how I reacted," he said. I can see sincerity in those deep brown eyes pero hindi ako padadala kahit na nalulusaw ako dahil humingi siya ng tawad.

Nagpahalukipkip ako at tinaasan siya ng kilay. He cocked his head to the right with confusion in his eyes.

"Is that all Thorn?" I coldly told him. I saw how his Adam's apple move as he gulped.

He lessened the distance between the two of us again. At ang puso ko ay hindi kumakalma dahil rito. Napapikit ako at napakagat sa labi.

Don't fucking give in Heina!

"Is this my effect on you?" napabalik ako sa ulirat sa sinabi niya. Napakalapit ng katawan niya na tila nagpalabas sa kaluluwa ko. At tsaka ako kinain ng hiya sa aking reaksyon kanina

I gasped again as I feel his hand on my lower back slowly caressing it up and down. DAMN! my body shifted as if it likes what he is doing!

I looked up and saw his deep brown eyes looking down on me. Slowly, his expression gave a smirk.

Tumaas ang kaniyang haplos papunta sa batok ko. Napapikit ako habang kagat ang ibabang labi. Natigilan ako ng bigla niyang itigil.  Namula ako lalo biglang mapagtanto ang aking reaksyon sa kaniyang haplos.

Naparupok mo nga naman Heina! Never in your life were you treated like this! 

Kahit na ganoon, kalahati sa akin ang dismayado dahil tinigil niya ang ginawa kanina.

Lumayo sa akin at umupo sa swivel chair niya. And then his eyes shifted to me. His jaw clenched as he looked at me with desire in his eyes. As if he was just holding back.

"It was you." he suddenly blurted out. My eyebrows creased when he said it.

"What do you mean?" I asked and approached the chair in front of him.

"The one at the bar, 9 weeks ago."

"You remember?!" I asked in disbelief.

"Heina, I was sober the whole time, you were drunk. Of course I'll remember, although  it has been nine weeks kaya nakalimutan ko noong una, my apologies,"  he explained. Why does he looked like a boyfriend explaining why he made a mistake? I pursed my lips supressing a smile.

Sumikbo ang puso ko nang maisip iyon. I closed my eyes at napabuntong hininga.

"Look, its not your fault Thorn, you said we were drunk----"

"YOU were the only one drunk." kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. While I am confused, he was showing amusement in his face.

Natigilan ako at saka inisip ng mabuti ang sinabi niya. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Wait what?! I was drunk?!

His was more amused when he saw thay I realized it. Something within me woke up. Binalot ako ng galit sa sinabi niya at dumaan ulit sa isip ko ang pag-aalala ko nitong mga nakaraang araw.

I stood up and  slapped him hard. I saw how his face turned to his left and how his jaws clenched. 

"YOU FUCKING TOOK ADVANTAGE!" I shouted at him. HE WAS SOBER AND YET HE DID IT TO ME!

"YOU DON'T KNOW HOW FUCKING ANGRY I AM! YOU RUINED MY LIFE! YOU ENDANGERED ME...AND...AND NOW THIS LIFE IN MY WOMB! YOU—" Suno-sunod  kong sigaw sa kanya at tinuro-turo siya. He turned his face to look at me.

"You wanted it," he calmly replied. Ngayon lalo akong nagalit dahil sa tono ng pananalita niya. At napaawang ang bibig ko dahil hindi ako makapaniwala sa reaksyon niya. THIS MAN!

"Bastardo! Of course I would because I was damn drunk! and yet you— YOU—," sabi ko na nangigigil pointing my finger at him.

I caught off guard when he held the finger that I used for pointing at him.

"Stop," he said. Tila kumalma ang dagat ng galit ko at napagtanto ang naging asal.

I took a deep breath and felt the electricity when his hand took not only my finger but my whole right hand.

"Sit down, it'll be bad for our baby if you continue to be angry," natigilan ako sa kaniyang sinabi. Tama nga naman siya, naging bayolente ako dahil sa galit at nalimutan ang bata na dinadala ko.

Afterwards, the room was enveloped with silence so I broke it, "Wala ka bang ibang appointment after me?"I asked him when I finally settled down on my chair. Halos 30 minutes na kasi kaming nag-uusap eh.

"Nope, I canceled my other appointments  for yours, Luna said that this is important, and she's hell right." para akong nilipad sa langit ng sabihin niyang kinancel niya lahat ng appointment niya for me.

"I am very sorry, you are right, I took advantage of your state that time and I was tempted. You seduced me and I gave in." Nanlaki ang aking mga  mata ng sabihin niyang si-neduce ko siya.

"Ang kapal mo naman, ako pa talaga?"

I said and laughed.

"Yes. And now, let us go back to our business," tila nawala lahat ng galit ko sa kanya bigla dahil ngayon gusto ko namang makipag-usap nalang sa kanya.

I cocked my head observing his actions closely and I felt something hot boiling within me. Hindi ako galit, parang may gusto itong ipagpatuloy na naudlot kanina. And this heat, is calling for Thorn's touch.

"Aw, you are no fun  Thorn, can we talk about other things?" sabi ko pero halata ang pagiging malisyoso ng tono.

Kumunot ang noo niya sa pagkalito sa biglaang pag iba ko ng usapan.

"Oh? And what do you think is there to talk about?" He asked.

Sunod-sunod ang mga malalim kong paghinga upang kalmahin ang sarili dahil lumalala ang nararamdaman ko habang tumatagal. Any minute from now, this aroused feeling should be gone. Kailangan kong magpigil baka saan pa ito patutungo.

"Well, about those features of yours, I hope our child will have them, they're astounding and—hot" I sexily blurted out. Natigilan siya sa sinabi ko at umigting ang kaniyang panga.

"Heina, please don't start this," he said with worry and threat. I unknowingly leaned and squeezed his biceps. Theyre hard! Hinaplos ko iyon paitaas at pababa habang kinakagat-kagat ang aking labi. 

Nakita kong napaigtad siya sa haplos  ng aking kamay. Sunod-sunod na lunok ang ginawa ni Thorn. I smirked naughtily at him. 

"Heina..." he said in a dangerous tone.

"Oh Thorn, I need you," He caught my hand and placed it on the table. I can feel how tight he is gripping my hand, as if  he's holding himself  and that if he lets go, he will lose control and take me here and now.

I looked at his eyes and saw desire surfacing as he stared at my face. I licked my lip and bit it. Napapikit siya ng mariin.

"Please Heina, let's just talk about the set up for our baby please?" tila nahihirapan niyang saad habang hindi ako tinitignan. 

I held his chin and motioned it for him to face me. 

"Thorn, I don't know but I'm feeling hot inside. I f-feel so h-hot," I stuttered and  thoughts of me and Thorn flashed in my mind. Nakita ko kung paano siya mariing pumikit and cussed silently. I touched his jaws as they clenched and I felt him reacted to it. 

"Heina, please stop seducing me," He hoarsely said. I bit my lower lip as I stared at his reaction

"ENOUGH HEINA!" he shouted na nagpaigtad sa akin. Napaupo ako bigla sa upuan at di makapaniwalang napatingin sa kanya. Nawala ang init na aking naramdaman kanina at napalitan ito ng hiya at galit sa sarili. Pero ang sigaw niya ay nagdulot sa akin ng takot  at iyon ang nangibabaw. I looked at him with fright tsaka tumulo ang mga luha ko. Agad naman siyang lumapit sa akin at niyakap ako. 

I smelled his coat and it calmed me down. Its scent is truly manly and foreign, beyond explanation. But his arms that caged me trying to soothe me feels like home, I can stay here all day and be complete.

Nang maka-recover ako ay saka ko siya hinarap. Pinahid ko ang luha ko at pinagpatuloy ang aming pag-uusap.

"Pasensya ka na, minsan ganito talaga ako, nag-iinit nalang bigla ang katawan ko at saka mabilis din magbago ang aking mood, huwag ka mag-alala sabi ni Luna ganito daw kapag buntis." he looked relieved when I said it. Para akong mababaliw kanina sa init na aking naramdaman, tila tinatawag ng aking laman si Thorn at muntik na iyon. Tumikhim ako at bumalik na siya sa harap ko at umupo sa kaniyang upuan. 

"So, why don't we have this set up, I'll stay in your place for three days? sounds good for you?" presinta niya. Inisip ko muna yung schedule ko. Isa kasi akong tutor, though mayaman kami, hindi ako gumagamit ng pera ng pamilya, ayaw ko nang masangkot sa kanila. 

" I tutor students during Monday, Tuesday Wednesday, you can stay  at my place maybe during Friday-Sunday." Tumango si Thorn at naintindihan ang aking plano. Silence then enveloped us. I don't want to leave yet. It feels like I will only feel alone again if I go out of this room.

"Will your fiancee be okay about this?" I asked. He thought deeply at my question and shook his head.

Of course not Heina.

"Okay, I see, so you'll keep me from her and your family?" he nodded and asked me, "How about your family, your'e a Montrele, will it be fine for them?" I stiffened at his question. I unconsciously held my stomach where the baby rests and I looked down while shaking my head. 

Napabuntong-hininga siya.

"Thorn" tawag ko sakanya. I looked at his eyes and I was sucked into those vortices again. I gulped as I thought of my next question. I know he probably won't stand for us but I am hoping for a change of reply this time. 

"I-Ipaglalaban mo ba kami?" natigilan siya sa tanong ko and just stared at me for a while and said, 

"No." 

"Not yet"