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Lahat ng Kabanata ng Reckless Heart : Kabanata 1 - Kabanata 10

11 Kabanata

Chapter 1

Fictitious works ahead.Any resemblance of the place, character, actions, and personality are purely coincidental._______________________________________________"Salute!" isang malagim na boses iyon galing sa kabilang parte ng building kung saan naroon ang mga platoon members.We were hanging on for our Instructor. I am in 2nd year Class Masigpat, and sometimes it's hard coping with my studies lalo na at madalas wala ang professors.I can hear the sound of feets walking towards me. I didn't have time to look at them lalo pa at namomroblema na naman ako sa ipambabayad ng tuition sa darating na Pre-finals.Nakaupo ako malapit sa bintana, first window beside the front door kaya madali akong nakakalabas agad tuwing uwian. My face were buried in my folded arms in the arm-chair, staring at the outside suddenly being clouded with students wearing maroon shirt."Anong year 'to?"I didn't have time to reply. Because this one guy almost wanting to envelope himself to the window, all I can see
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Chapter 2

I was late. I wasn't able to attend at exact time because of what that OJT did to me. He asked me so much! He is so much!Pinagpawisan na ako sa gate pa lang. Pagdating ko sa room, our Instructor told me to do mase-mase as a punishment for me for being 30mins late. There, para na akong basang sisiw but I cannot complain about it. It's that OJT officer's fault!I wonder what's his name? I want to crushed his name kahit man lang sa papel."Thank you, class. Please prepare for the pre-finals next week. And Vartivo..." our Instructor put his gaze on me."Yes, Sir?""Please do refrain from being late. I know it's a first time, but having a lot of warning from me won't do you good. I'll drop your grades into 75 if it'll have a second time. This isn't a warning, Miss Vartivo."Pagtango na lang ang nagawa ko. I fold my lips to each other, making my emotions to subtle. I looked at Chie beside me. She just smile a bit and face again in front."Don't forget your permit. Goodbye, Masigpat." he fa
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Chapter 3

"1,2,3,4,5...bilisan n'yo!"I think I'm going to surrender. Kanina pa kami paulit-ulit. Simula kanina na verifying ako, hindi na siya matigil sa pagpapaulit ulit ng push ups at kung hindi naman madalas ay squat thrust.The heat doubled our pain. Madami kami at iyong dalawang babae na parte rin ng OJT ay kita ko ring napapagod na. Lukot na ang mga mukha nila at hindi na maipinta ang emosyon."Isa pa!" ma-awtoridad na sigaw nito.He's the troupe commander and his two subordinates were on the ground with us. He was attentive on my actions. Hinahanapan niya ako ng mali sa bawat tingin niyang iyon.I groaned. Tanginang 'yan.Hindi ko sinadyang tumingin sa kanila. I don't even know na naroon sila, e. Kung alam kong nandoon sila edi sana hindi na lang ako tumuloy sa ground. Tangina, kanina ko pa talaga iniisip 'to e. Parang impossible naman na papuntahin niya ako dito para sa ibang bagay. Pakiramdam ko sinasadya niya 'to para maging verifying ako.I was panting while holding my push up posit
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Chapter 4

TW: SuicideI ended up using the extra helmet. Hindi namin nahanap ang helmet ko. Madam saw me almost crying a river, but then it won't solved anything. Gabi na kaya hindi ko na rin muna inisip pang hanapin iyon. Kahit masama sa loob ko, I agreed to look for it the next day.The next day, I get ready for my exam. I didn't told mama about the helmet dahil alam kong papagalitan niya ako. Hindi niya rin naman nakita ang dala kong helmet at nirason ko na lang na may klase kami ng 6-7 kahit sa Thursday pa ang sched ko na 'yon.Hindi ko na muna inisip ang helmet dahil baka maapektuhan ang isasagot ko. Mahahanap ko iyon. Mamaya, hahanapin ko."Pre-finals niyo na, Masigpat. May mga natutunan naman ba?" bungad ni Ma'am Abby sa amin habang inaayos niya ang exam papers sa table niya.In the same spot, I wasn't paying much attention to everyone. Naroon lang ako sa seat ko, nakahalumbaba habang nakatitig sa bawat pagflip ni Ma'am Abby ng pahina ng test paper.Ilang beses rin akong nagbuntong hinin
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Chapter 5

Good thing our pre-final was done. It is necessary for me to go to the campus but I didn't. I was absent in Thursday-Saturday classes, and I stayed with mama for almost a week until she was released from the hospital.During those days, isinantabi ko ang pag-aaral ko para magfocus kay mama at sa kalagayan niya. She sometimes had a little tantrums, wanting to scratch her wounds at madalas panay ang kanta tsaka iiyak.Palagi siyang kumakanta pagkagising niya, minsan naman ay bago matulog. Hindi ko siya iniiwan, at kung may gagawin naman ako ay nagtatawag ako ng Nurse para tingnan siya saglit.Hindi siya pwedeng iwan dahil ginagawa niya ang mga bagay na gusto niya. Minsan pa nga ay naabutan kong nakikipag-away siya sa Nurse, binabato niya ng mga gamit na nasa table sa gilid ng kama. Ako naman, walang ibang magawa kung hindi ang umiyak....humikbi ng paulit-ulit. Sobrang sama ng loob ko. At natatakot ako para kay mama. Looking at her, bumabalik siya sa dati. Pinipilit niya pa rin na dapa
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Chapter 6

Para bang gusto kong maligo. Hindi maalis sa pakiramdam ko ang simpleng hagip na iyon. Parang sinasadya pero may parte sa akin na sinasabing hindi.Hindi ko na alam. Iniisip ko na lang ang pagkalma ko. Ayoko ng isipin pa ang nakaraan na iyon. Matagal na 'yon. Gusto ko na lang ibaon sa limot. I don't even want to remember it all!It wasn't the first time that I became vulnerable whenever I've felt the same feeling....it feels the same way. Ang hirap alisin sa isip ko. Ang hirap kalimutan. Those memories are horrifying, sending chills all over my body. On top of that, hindi ako makahinga.I've tried so hard erasing those in my minds. Their faces.... their laughters, and their cruel touches that left me traumatic. Hinding hindi ko makakalimutan ang mga mukhang iyon. Ang mga hawak na 'yon.At iyong katawan ko mismo ang nagsasabi that I've been layed with those dirty hands. They pasted it to me, giving me hard time every day."It is not allowed na magputol ka ng puno without permit, priva
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Chapter 7

Inagahan ko ang pagpasok ng campus ngayon kahit pa alas dyes pa ang klase namin. Naisip ko na rin kasi na magbayad na ng balance ko sa tuition para hindi na ako pumila sa Finals. It was too hot inside at sa liit ng campus mas dumagdag pa iyon sa init na nararamdaman namin.Inayos ko ang center stand ng motor at ipinatong ang helmet ko sa salamin. I noticed the Sniper beside where as usual inunahan na naman kung saan ako nagpapark. I wonder who owns it. Hindi ko man lang naabutan kung sino and it was the second time I saw it again here.Tinitigan ko ito. I remember before that I once liked the idea of having Sniper since it was cool and parang magaan lang dalhin. But in contrary, the most advantageous was Raider Fi talaga. Some reviews before I owned a Raider told na matipid ito sa gas and it was better used in gala and even byahe papuntang Manila. At isa pa, binili iyon ni mama sa akin. Hindi ko magagawang ipagpalit sa gusto kong motor.Pinasok ko sa bag ang permit na ibinigay ng acc
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Chapter 8

"Good morning, mama!" malawak ang mga ngiti ko noong pumasok ako sa kwarto ni mama.It was Monday morning at 4am. Maaga pa pero alam kong ganitong oras ay gising na siya dahil nakasanayan niya na pinagluluto niya ako ng breakfast bago ako pumasok. Sadly, she won't be cooking for me instead ako ang magluluto for her.Nakaupo siya sa gilid ng kama habang nakabalot pa rin ng kumot ang mga binti niya. She smiled at me at binati rin ako pabalik."Good morning maganda kong anak." aniya at sinalubong ako ng bukas palad para yakapin siya."Ako lang naman ang anak mo." I told her in our hugs.Her chest vibrates because of her laugh. Mas niyakap ko siya lalo at inamoy ang scent niya. It feels like home. Sobrang komportable at ang hirap bitawan."May pasok ka pa, Solemn." aniya noong hindi pa rin ako bumibitaw."Mama, absent na lang kaya ako? I want to take care of you.""Sabi mo sa akin may review kayo ngayon kase next week Finals niyo na. Kaya bakit ka aabsent? Baka bumagsak ka lang."Lumuwag
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Chapter 9

"Good morning."I almost shrieked because of the sudden voice who spoke.Nagulat ako sa bigla na lang may nagsalita sa gilid doon sa benches hindi kalayuan sa gate. Hindi ko man lang napansin na naroon pala siya. Nakalimutan ko rin siguro na nakita ko nga pala ang motor niya.I couldn't believe we had a good interaction last week. And we happen to be more interactive in social media. It was the first time I allow myself to be with someone I barely know at talagang si Ardent pa. Maybe because we both like motorcycle? Ardentius Requejo Salazar:Hi. Sorry, I hope you don't mind.Titig na titig ako sa phone ko. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. Hindi niya naman malalaman na na-seen ko na iyon dahil hindi ko pa naman inaaksep ang request niya. Should I accept it?It was not a bad idea. We had an ugly start. Hindi naman siguro masama na maging open ako sa pagkakaibigan sa kahit na sino. He was good, I could tell that. He's just strict, authorative, and vulgar. Normal na lang siguro iy
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Chapter 10

I felt so many things now. I feel like I've done so much wrong in my life. It feels like my head is just fooling me, making my anger grew... making me hate a person. I feel guilty.Yes, guilty. Guilty of so many things and to what I feel towards Madam G and also... him.Hindi man lang muna ako nagtanong. Hindi man lang muna ako nag-usisa, kumausap. I let my anger fill me. I let my hatred eat me.Tulog na si mama doon sa kama niya. Naroon din ako sa study table, nakasabunot sa buhok at hindi alam ang gagawin. Hindi ko magawang mag-aral na ganito ang nararamdaman ko.Why, Solemn?Why did you do that? Bakit hindi ka muna nagtanong!"Argh! Bullshit..." I hissed silently bago marahang tumayo doon at lumabas ng kwarto.Before I leave, hinalikan ko si mama sa noo at inayos ang kumot nya. I left in silence. Pumunta ako sa kwarto ko and immediately my eyes landed to my Evo helmet.No.... to his Evo helmet.And to that, I remember what happen that lunch when he told the whole class that he wa
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