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I See You Pt. 1
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Kaugnay na kabanata
Three Little Birds I See You Pt. 2
I watched him take a deep drag off the marijuana and hold the hit, his eyes squinted against the smoke that rolled upward along his face. He exhaled and looked at me. He looked the slightest bit calmer. His eyes had dried, though the clouds were still present."I've been battling myself that this is a means to an end," he began hoarsely. "I mean I don't want it to be. I want to fight through this together like you said. Get through it together, like you said." He paused and flicked the ash into the ashtray between us. He rocked nervously; just slightly. He made a sound of frustration deep in his throat. "Hey," I set my hands along his things and he looked at me. "Easy. Take a breath. There's no rush here. Gather your thoughts and when you're ready speak." Halfthe blunt was gone before he started speaking. I left one of my hands against
Three Little Birds Weakness Pt. 1
The street was empty this early in the morning. At these just post-sunrise moments of the day where most are still sleeping, or still at their homes getting ready for the day's agenda to play out, I walked the sidewalk as the day got brighter.I kept my head firmly down, watching my feet slowly trespass the sidewalk that led me to my work.The air was cool, brisk with impending winter. The wind picked up and I saw the evidence of the chill displayed in gooseflesh up my arms.I didn't bother putting on a coat this morning. I wish I could feel the cold enough for it to make a difference. I sigh and shake off those thoughts as I walk into my workplace.The warm air hit me as I heard the chime over the door ding as I walked in.The chairs had already been set to the floor and I could smell the coffee brewing and the pastries baking."Mattie, did you walk here wit
Three Little Birds Weakness Pt. 2
Was it really seven o'clock? I asked her. She smiled sadly and nodded. I felt wretched. Three hours? It didn't feel like three hours.Liz noticed I'd stopped and was no longer following behind. She turned with a questioning look on her face. I had been in her office acting like a baby for three hours of my shift. I felt like I had robbed her somehow."You don't have to pay me for the last three hours. I-I don't deserve it." Even as I said it I started to panic. If I didn't get a full check, I would be short on rent this month. The alternative to making quick cash left a sour taste in my mouth. It was something I never wanted to go back to."Hey, don't worry about it. I'm not going to dock your pay. Come on, honey, let's go."I took a calming breath. "Where are we going?" I asked as she took my hand."My place. I don't think you should be alone tonight."I wan
Three Little Birds Weakness Pt. 3
"He's got the same look in his eyes as Kaiden did. That same...lost and terrified look. I know you've seen it, too. Regardless of whatever emotional involvement I allow myself to fall into, it is my burden to carry, but I'll be goddamned if I'm not going to try. And I know you see it."I know you care about him, too, or you wouldn't have brought him here. I've lived here for three months, Liz, and he's the first person you've ever brought here."There was silence for a moment before I saw Liz wipe at her eyes and pinch the bridge of her nose."Mykel, I love you. If you remember, too, I paid for his funeral. And if you remember, he was just as much a little brother to me as you are. And damn it, Mykee, I remember what his death did to you. I remember...and I know if you fall in love with him and he succumbs to the same end, if we can't reach him...you can't survive that again, can you? And goddamn it all, I don't want to
Three Little Birds Water Pt. 1
The last few days have been interesting, to say the least. After that first night of staying at Liz's, the bond between us had immeasurably fortified.After I had announced that small confession she pulled me into a tight hug, one that told me, as did the words following, that it would have been an honor to have a son such as me.I didn't know if I completely believed her, but my inner child wept at the admission."Mattie," she said to me as we sat on that same porch swing.I looked from the pond, my attention was drawn to her voice and away from the swimming turtle that had been journeying its way across the expanse of the water. The sun was fading and shadows were plenty, but it was not completely dark."W
Three Little Birds Water Pt. 2
When I woke I was being placed in the bed I had been tenanting the last few days. I tensed up in his arms, reaffirming my hold of him. He straightened and sat with me in his lap.He kissed the top of my head. "What is it, mon bonheur?"I smiled slightly. I didn't know what he'd said, but the way he said it...it...how do I articulate it properly...? It made me feel like I might matter. My heart fluttered as his lips contacted against my temple."Don't leave me. Please. Please, don't leave me." The desperation I felt at that moment transcended into my tone, and I felt it rolling off of me in waves. Mykel felt it, too."Come on, then. It's late." He patted my side where his hand rested and I crawled off of him onto the cold bed. I felt the loss of his heat instantly and I
Three Little Birds Water Pt. 3
He hadn't made a move toward the tub, his hand still trapped completely in mine. His touch gave me peace, a spark of hope among the chaos. For so many years I wondered why I had to suffer through it.It never occurred to me to try and kill myself. Not out of some religious sense, I was brought up as nothing. I had nothing. I was nothing. I always just assumed someone else would do it for me."Mykel," I heard myself say in a breathy pant."Trust me. I won't let anything happen. You're not restricted or restrained. I'm not forcing you. Any time you can walk away."In a way he was right. In a way he was wrong. I was rooted to the spot. My eyes were drawn to the tap and I couldn't breathe."Mattie," Mykel steppe
Three Little Birds Questions of Bond Pt. 1
It was early morning on a Saturday. Mykel had to leave proceeding breakfast that morning to go sign the papers in order to gain the space with which to open his new tattoo shop.Liz was up with the sun, already having a pot of coffee brewing when Mykel and I dragged our half-dead carcasses down the stairs.Liz is and always has been a regular early riser, much to the opposite effect of her younger, though much bigger brother.We enjoyed a jovial breakfast together that Liz had been preparing, being the early bird she is when we came downstairs that morning.Things had been...I'm not quite sure really...restive and the unquiet anxiety that was building between Mykel and me was becoming insurmountable. While he laughed during breakfast, I saw the small glances
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Three Little Birds I See You Pt. 2
I watched him take a deep drag off the marijuana and hold the hit, his eyes squinted against the smoke that rolled upward along his face. He exhaled and looked at me. He looked the slightest bit calmer. His eyes had dried, though the clouds were still present."I've been battling myself that this is a means to an end," he began hoarsely. "I mean I don't want it to be. I want to fight through this together like you said. Get through it together, like you said." He paused and flicked the ash into the ashtray between us. He rocked nervously; just slightly. He made a sound of frustration deep in his throat. "Hey," I set my hands along his things and he looked at me. "Easy. Take a breath. There's no rush here. Gather your thoughts and when you're ready speak." Halfthe blunt was gone before he started speaking. I left one of my hands against
Three Little Birds I See You Pt. 1
"Mykel." He turned back to her with a desperate look in his eyes. "Have you talked to him?"He shook his head. "I asked once if he was okay. He said he was. He wasn't flippant about it or anything...what if it's just in my head?""Hey, there you two are." Mattie's voice came from behind them. Mykel quickly schooled his features as Mattie came up behind them, his hand sliding up Mykel's shoulder. Mykel closed his eyes. "Everything alright?""When you asked that I knew you knew the answer. I could see it on your face," Rian told me. "So as someone who loves you both, this is my advice. I know you love him, Mattie. Let your guard down. Let him back in completely. He needs you as much as you need him and it's time to stop this." I took a shuddering breath but didn't interrupt her. Her tone was soft, caring, and full of worr
Three Little Birds Rian Pt. 2
I stood, set the baby in the playpen, and followed him onto the front porch, sitting with him on the steps leading to the house. "Please don't tell my mom this, okay? Can this stay between you and me?""You can tell me anything, Mattie. I want you to be able to trust me." He smiled faintly."I know where I come from. I know what was done to her, and how and why she got pregnant with me." He looked at me, his eyes older than they should have been. Wiser with second-hand knowledge. "I overheard her talking about it with Dad once. I had gone to the bathroom and heard them through the crack in the door."They always have the door cracked open. In case one of us needs them. Anyway, I guess she had a nightmare about it. I could hear her crying as she told him.""She doe
Three Little Birds Rian Pt. 1
Since going to Mattie's birthday a few months previous, my sister and I remained in almost daily contact. I couldn't be happier about the relationship she and I were building. I had confided in her about my fears after Mykel's...stunt...and many times did she pick me up and take me to her place to calm me down. We were as close as we could be at the moment, and I was surprised at the quick acceleration of our relationship. I was sitting on her couch holding Cory, who was chewing on the tiger's eye stone that was fastened to a leather string that hung around my neck. I smiled at her as her bright blue eyes met mine. She smiled around the necklace.Mattie andDaniel were upstairs playing video games. I smiled a bit more at the sounds of the children laughing. "So how are you and Mykel doing?" Rian asked me as she handed me a fresh glass of iced tea."Not quite as tense as we have b
Three Little Birds Whisper on a Scream Pt. 2
"I never stopped loving you, Mykel," I told him as my throat tightened."Then what? I mean..." He sighed, his eyes pleading with me. "It hurts, Mattie." I saw his eyes begin to shine and he turned and continued walking, his head down. "I'm not going to try to make excuses for myself. What I did was stupid and it hurt you. And Liz. I just...wish you understood." He looked at me, his eyes dry again with a dullness to them I had never before seen present there."I do to some extent. But you did it in front of me. You had enough force where you could have died and..." I stopped walking and pulled my hand free. I felt his reluctance to let go. He looked at me as if he thought I'd dematerialize right before his eyes. I crossed my arms over my chest, drawing myself in tighter. "I feel betrayed, Mykel. I feel like..." I stopped as my lungs constricted behind my rib cage and tri
Three Little Birds Whisper on a Scream Pt. 1
Slowly I lowered myself onto the bed, buried my face in his pillow, and, surrounded by his scent, screamed. I heard the sounds of footsteps on the stairs sometime later, but I knew they didn't belong to Mykel. They were too light. I felt Liz's hand on my shoulder and slide around my back as she sat next to me."Baby, why don't you just talk to him?" My cries came harder, my face still obfuscated by the pillow. Liz's fingers found their way into my hair. She said nothing more as she waited for me to calm down. "Mattie." Her voice was so soft as she spoke to me. So full of patience and worry it broke my heart further."I can't, Liz, I can't," I wailed, my words muffled. "I just can't.""Why not, my love?" I couldn't answer her as my cries increased and she pulled me into her. I latched my arms around her, holding on as I
Three Little Birds Admonish and Forgive Pt. 2
He shook his head slightly. "I tried talking to him about it...about how he feels...and he won't."Liz lit the forgotten blunt. "Of course he won't. Why would he right now? Beyond what he said as reasoning for not saying anything, he needs to process it all and come to terms with how he feels before he can talk to you about it." She paused. "You think he's the only one that's pissed off about this, Mykel? Cause, I gotta tell ya...I'm fucking livid. And I'm trying to be supportive of you and not make you feel worse about this whole shit hole of a situation, but...I don't even know anymore. I don't know what to think or what to say or how to say it. Or make things worse by saying anything. And I'm sure that's how he feels also. Mykel?""Yeah?""Don't you ever fucking do that again."
Three Little Birds Admonish and Forgive Pt. 1
I took a shuddering breath. "Is this really a conversation you want to get into right now, Mykel?"He looked at me. "If not now, when? This isn't a conversation that you'll willingly bring up later."I looked at him for a moment, my expression softening as I looked at him. "If I need to. But right now, emotions are high. Shit is still very raw...I would rather put it off until we've both had time to process so this doesn't turn into a fight. I don't want to fight with you. Do I want to talk about this? Yes. I do. Because it really fucking hurt. Do I want to fight and scream and argue? No, I'd rather not. So if not talking about it now and having to balls up to mention it later means that that won't happen tonight...that-that we won't fight because we're both very clearly upset...then, fine, I can do that."He scoffed at
Three Little Birds All Through the Night Pt. 3
She glanced up as Mykel took a seat next to her. She smiled sadly at him. I could see she was attempting to keep her composure. I knew the fear in her heart was one she hadn't quite experienced for her brother in several years. "Hey, Mykee." He smiled at her, but the smile was worn with an anxious pulling of his brows. "You want some coffee?" He nodded not speaking. I could see his throat bobbing as he swallowed impulsively, trying to keep himself from falling apart, by the look in her eyes. She set the mug down in front of him, wrapped her arms around his shoulders, setting her face in the crook of his neck. "I love you, Mykel. Don't you ever fucking do that to me again, or I'll kill you myself." He half-smiled and nodded in a barely perceptible way, his eyes slipping closed momentarily. She kissed his cheek before disengaging from his shoulders and taking her seat.To Mykel she said, "I won't be gone too long today. I
