27. Sleep in the Same Bed

There was no need to think too hard right now, because no matter how hard he tried, his thoughts kept spinning in the same endless vortex. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. Nor did there seem to be any easy way out. Everything was dark—as if he were trapped alone in a labyrinthine abyss, with no light, no clues, no hope of escape.

The more he sped up his running, the more he amplified his screams, or the more desperate he was to find the exit... all he found was the deeper he got lost.

Maybe he didn't need to solve everything right now. Maybe, tomorrow, he would find a miracle—something that he hadn't thought of yet.

Josh decided to clean himself up after sitting there for a while.

Still only half-aware of his actions, he wandered toward the master bedroom. It was pure instinct—a reflex from his body seeking the most natural place to rest. Even after Josh realized he was standing in front of the door, he didn't immediately turn around or back away. He didn’t panic. He just stood there, staring at the jet-black painted door with a storm of emotion building in his chest.

The memory of how rude he had treated Ashley last night, came back to the surface of his memory with disturbing clarity. As a matter of fact, he knew he wasn’t the type of man to disrespect women, not a man who could do anything to any woman. He had ethics and manners, principles and morals. In his dictionary, there was never any justification for demeaning another person, especially a woman. Regardless of his unfriendly demeanor, Josh was well aware that he was not a bad guy.

But yesterday, in the midst of his turmoil, he had lost control. Anger and fear had clouded his mind. He was only trying to regain power over the situation and make sure he had full power over Ashley who was threatening him at the moment.

But Josh already admitted that he was wrong. He regretted it. And even though he had apologized, he knew it might not be enough to fix the fragile bond he had with Ashley.

He still stood there, motionless, dumbfounded for a long moment.

Then when his hand finally moved to the doorknob, he expected to find the door locked, to confirm that Ashley might indeed be inside and asleep. After that he would just go to the guest room to rest his body and mind. That was the plan.

But who would have thought, the door creaked open with ease when Josh pushed it. Making him immediately speculate if Ashley was not in the apartment. If Ashley wasn’t here, this would definitely make things more difficult for him, because there would definitely be other new serious problems. Josh's worst nightmare at the moment would be if she went back to her parents' house—though that was highly unlikely.

Panic spiked in Josh’s chest. With his heart suddenly pumping fast, he almost jumped into the room to make sure.

Then, yet again, another surprise greeted him unexpectedly.

Inside the room, Josh saw Ashley sleeping.

After the sound of her hurried footsteps and the slight commotion she created, the girl showed no sign of waking up at all. Apparently, she was lost in a deep sleep.

Instantly, a long sigh escaped Josh's nose. He couldn't describe how relieved he was. At least, for tonight, he wouldn’t have to face another disaster in this very long day. 

For now, he could try to rest. He could let go of his mind for a while, and regain some of the sleep he had lost.

Josh didn't know why Ashley hadn’t locked the door after what had happened between the two of them. He wouldn't be surprised if the girl's defensiveness got hardened. Whether she intentionally left it unlocked, or forgot to leave it unlocked... in the bottom of his heart, Josh was quite grateful. Because then he could clearly confirm if the girl was staying in this place and not running away from him.

Josh then quietly walked over to one of the sections of the closet that contained his belongings. He grabbed his pajama, underwear, and towel. Then went into the bathroom and cleaned himself up.

Josh ended up soaking for far too long, even dozing off briefly without realizing it. When the cold finally seeped into his bones, he startled awake and rushed to finish.

The shiver still surrounded him and sent goosebumps all over his skin when he came out of the bathroom.

Intending to quickly normalize his body temperature, without thinking, he climbed into the other side of the bed next to Ashley and tucked himself under the blanket. He pulled it up to his neck. The warmth that trapped inside the blanket spread throughout his body. It raised his body temperature to normal, and gave a calming sensation that slowly pulled his consciousness to fade away and enter a peaceful dreamland.

Not long after that, Ashley was startled to find someone beside her.

At first, she was just repositioning herself in her sleep—in an unconscious state—but when her hand bumped into something unfamiliar, her senses kicked in. Her consciousness automatically pulled her awake. Just like that, she jolted awake and discovered the existence of Josh who was sleeping next to her.

A shocked gasp almost escaped her lips. Not understanding how that man could sleep in the same bed as her without her even noticing it.

Then with a sudden burst of emotion, Ashley's hand tried to push Josh's shoulder to keep him away.

"What are you doing here? Get out! Get out now!"

Josh groggily woke up when his body was almost at the edge of the bed. Just one push, perhaps, would have sent him tumbling successfully to the floor.

With his eyes reddened by a pile of sleepiness, fatigue hanging over his body, and shock all mixed together, Josh instinctively grabbed Ashley's wrist who didn't stop pushing him. From his blurry view in the dimly lit room, Josh could still catch the look of anger on Ashley's face.

But he really had no strength left to deal with the girl's emotional outburst. He just wanted to continue sleeping—that's all.

Josh fixed his sleeping position as before while pulling Ashley's hand. He laid his body facing the girl and closed his eyes.

In a low, raspy voice, he murmured, “I just want to make up with you.”

Ashley's hand being pulled like that, also automatically pulled her body. So, she quickly braced herself to keep as far away from Josh as possible. She also kept trying to free her hand from the man's grip, although it was impossible because his grip was too strong.

The harder Ashley tried to pull her hand away, Josh tightened his grip even more, "I'm tired of arguing with everyone. I just want everything to be okay,“ his voice was getting slurred, barely audible, ”Why is that so hard?"

Once again, Ashley still struggled, trying to jerk her hand away. But Josh still wouldn't let go of her grip.

"I'm tired. Can we just rest tonight? Hm?“

”Huh?" Ashley still insisted on trying to pull her hand free. “Let go of me, Josh. I swear I’ll scream if you don’t.”

But Josh no longer didn’t answer anything. His eyes remained closed, his breathing moved regularly, while his hand was still with the same firm hold that had no intention of letting go of Ashley.

Ashley, who was also exhausted, defeated by fatigue and confusion, could only stand still and wait.

Her mind raced.

She was busy thinking about how Josh could get into the room. She was sure she’d locked the door. Then her confidence slowly faded—she doubted herself whether she had locked the door or not. Because remembering her habits in Auckland, she rarely locked her room. Sometimes she didn’t even close it, since Auntie Noh took care of everything.

A few times later, she tried to retract her hand. Then waited again.

And after some time passed, when Ashley could feel Josh's hand grip loosened, she quickly pulled her hand free and rubbed it. Wincing at the dull ache in her wrist.

Annoyed, Ashley stared at the man now deeply asleep, then walked out of the room to the living room. 

She was still too furious with Josh—about everything. And there was no way she wanted to be in the same room with him. She would rather wake up with a stiff neck like this morning than share the same air with that man.