33. The Dead End

Ashley could immediately grasp the meaning of Josh's words just now.

"Why are you saying that? As if you care about my status? Even if I end up becoming a widow, that's my problem, not yours."

Although Ashley knew all of Josh's long words were not completely wrong, she felt that she couldn't admit it too quickly. Her ego was currently provoked too much to be assuaged in the blink of an eye.

It was true that when the idea of divorce came into her head, she was completely blinded by the anger and disappointment that attacked her in one day. It seemed natural that she would lose her mind at that time. Then when her mouth proposed an agreement, it was solely because her pride was being trampled on by Josh and his uncivilized girlfriend. So she instinctively searched for a solution to regain her strength and a way to keep her from getting even worse—and to benefit herself.

And somehow divorce was the only thing that came to mind. 

But this proved that Josh's words were not wrong. Ashley didn't think about it carefully. She didn't even have any consideration about the good, the bad, and what benefits she could get other than being free from this marriage.

Now, after Josh's revelation, Ashley came to a bit of a realization.

"If you become a widow, I will also become a widower. Our problems are the same. But maybe the burden will be different. You don't have to care first to have that logic. My older brother became a widower because his wife died. I can see the hardship he's been through."

Josh actually wanted to reveal how Jason failed to become a candidate to be matched with Ashley because his parents didn't want their family to be looked down upon by the Song family. But he swallowed back his words because he didn't want what his parents feared to happen. After all, there was no point in mentioning something that had little to do with the problems the two of them were currently facing.

"I don't even want to imagine that happening to myself. So please, try to think again calmly, with a cooler head, and really carefully. The divorce you want won't keep you out of trouble. On the contrary, it will get you into a lot of trouble."

Ashley's forehead wrinkled. She digested hard all of Josh's words which undeniably made sense.

If she managed to escape from this marriage, what would she get?

Freedom? Happiness? A sense of relief?

Or...

The destruction of his personal reputation?

Forced to leave Korea once again and return to a life of solitude?

Various severe punishments from his parents?

The cancellation of shares and falling into poverty?

She couldn't even imagine the last two points. Because only she knew exactly what horrible things her parents were capable of doing to her.

When they were arguing the day before yesterday, Josh himself had even mentioned the rumors that her relationship with her family was not so good.

What would really happen if Josh witnessed the rumors he had speculated about become an outright fact later on? Would he laugh it off? Or would he be grateful and cheer on her defeat for not listening to his suggestions?

Ashley thought even harder in the silence that engulfed them both. Her head was working furiously to find other benefits she could get from the deal.

But wherever and however far she thought, all she could find was a pitch-black dead end. Her mind could not be persuaded to break through the huge barrier. There was not a single way out that could lead her to a better solution or an alternative plan.

But maybe, there should have been. There must be a way out that could be beneficial to her.

She had already experienced many misfortunes in her lifetime.

So now, why was Josh adding to the scattering of boulders along her path?

Almost all the people she knew could only bring her more pain and suffering. As if it was the fruit of karma that she had to accept without being able to get a chance to refuse or even oppose.

Very funny. Ashley Song's life story.

"For now and beyond, I just want us to get back on good terms like before. That's all. I don't think it'll be a difficult thing, since we have to live together."

After hearing Josh's one request, Ashley looked away with a grunt.

"I will not divorce you. And even if you decide to file a lawsuit against me yourself—at all costs I'll make sure you can't do it."

Now, the man was making more and more requests of all kinds.

Frustrated with the deadlock in her head, and also unable to bear this endless chatter with Josh, Ashley picked up her half-full rice bowl and soup bowl. She stood up and walked towards the kitchen without saying a word.

She couldn't utter a single rebuttal, nor did she want to agree to Josh's words let alone comply with his requests. Because then she would immediately show that her position was very weak compared to the man.

“Ash,” Josh, who saw Ashley's behavior, immediately called out to her.

But the girl had already walked and arrived very quickly at the sink in the kitchen cabinet. Then in accordance with Aunt Gong's message, she just put down her tableware without cleaning it. 

To be honest, she currently didn't want to linger in the same area or in close proximity to that extremely annoying man either. If possible, she even wanted to leave her apartment so as not to run into Josh.

Bold of him assumed that Ashley could easily agree to make up and willingly stay together—as if nothing had happened, as if their relationship was fine.

After that, Ashley went straight to her room to get her purse and left. All that was going through her head at the moment was how to get as far away from Josh as possible. That's why she really needs to get out of that apartment for a while.

But go where? 

Anywhere. Anywhere she can have special time to be completely alone and as far away from Josh as possible.

Josh was still silent in his seat and watched Ashley who moved quickly from one area of the room to another until disappearing out towards the main door.

Josh let out a long sigh. It seems that it is indeed very difficult to be able to melt and get forgiveness from Ashley. He didn't expect that the girl's temperament was too harsh.

It's good that he can refrain from talking if other than Ashley, there are other people who now know he is still in contact with Sharon. If she finds out, that girl might make him even more determined to finalize the divorce.

It also seemed that he didn't need to tell Ashley about his mother's wish to plan their honeymoon trip. He could only hope that his mother was so busy that she forgot, so that his burden could be reduced by one.