CHAPTER 6: Extreme Introversion

***                                            

THEON

“Are you ready Sir Theon?” George asked.

It was Saturday morning, but not the usual day of my life because I was scheduled to go outside. Yes, you heard it right, there was a place I go through every now and then apart from my own safe heaven and that was library. There was a huge library in town which allowed all people and students to visit for recreation, study, education and even if you’re just looking for a place to sleep.

The library was four-storey building, and it was really enormous and filled with various books. Everytime I visit the library, it made me feel to connect, not with people but with the books. But actually, it helped me a lot to gain perspective from the books I read and from the opportunity to live outside.

It was my dad’s idea to visit that library, apart from the fact that there were less people, he would want me to master business and even to know more about myself and maybe even to be familiarized the world again.

At first, I was hesitant because of my experiences I had in the past but when I went there, like the comfort in my room, I felt safe, I felt relieved, I felt the world again. So, once in a week, I made sure to visit the library.

There were also books I need to return. Yes, the library was generous to let anyone lend books but the process was really long and strict though because there were cases that books never go back and borrowers tend to claim ownership illegally. Well, that was disheartening on the part of the library and book lover.

After taking a bath, I opened the closet to choose a wide range of just black shirts. Yeah, all my clothes were composed of black T-shirts, nothing more nothing less. Well, if you would ask me, that’s something that gave me so much comfort. Loner as they may describe, but who cares, I was not wearing to impress but I was wearing to be comfortable.

When I was done preparing, George knocked at my door and before he asked again if I was ready, I suddenly opened the door with my hoodie on. So, we went down together. Apart from being my servant, he was also my driver. So, we went straight to Almanac Library. Yes, that was the name of the library.

While paving our way to the library, I tried to look the surrounding - the beauty of the sky, the tall skyscrapers, the busy city with cars passing through and busy people. I was actually fine seeing things, but I just don’t want to mingle and found myself suffocating. Now, I just was thinking about my dad and how I tried to fix myself. I just didn’t know how to fix the problem because I believed I was okay and there was nothing to be fixed on. If I could just work on my safe haven, would that even possible?

“Is that possible?” I asked George.

“Sir Theon, what?”

He didn’t even know what I asked because I was actually talking to myself until I heard myself asking if that was possible. Since, I wanted to know what he was thinking; I tried to open that to him. I shared what’s on my mind. Then, he said that was not possible because the CEO he knew must someone to work in the office and to talk with his subordinates and to have conversation with the clients which apparently, need a social interaction. And of course, that was something I was avoiding to happen. So, technically, it was not possible to be a CEO working on my room. But of course, I was stubborn to think that there was a way – my way indeed.

“How about I hire someone to be an External CEO, and I would be the Internal CEO?” I asked.

George was bewildered to my question, even though he was wearing a sunglass inside of the car which I found super weird, I could sense his disapproval. I was waiting for him to answer until he said that it may be possible or not possible. Well, that was a huge help, really.

“Try to think of it, if they need a meeting or social interaction which needs a social boss, the External CEO will do his job.” I explained.

“So, what are you going to do then?........ Sir Theon?” He asked innocently.

“Ah, um checking papers, giving approvals and signature, yeah, for sure I need to sign something.”

Well, I was really trying my best to solve my present quandary but I knew that sooner, I would be able to think the best resolution. For sure, my father would love to hear my idea about the External CEO.

****

“Yes Sir Theon.” George said.

When we got there, he dropped me by. He mentioned that he would be waiting for me in the car but I said that it would not be necessary. I even persuaded him to go upstairs and read books with me but he said that he had a negative relationship with the library. So, instead of waiting in the car, I just asked him to buy me some books in the bookstore like what I instructed him to do. 

George left. I went inside and marched to my favourite section, business. Actually, I learned to enjoy business, marketing and management. I still didn’t know if that was something I embrace to do because my dad convinced me or it was something I really enjoyed doing, or maybe it runs in our blood, since dad was a successful CEO and entrepreneur. So, I started checking books about my project in school. I had to create my own little presentation about a product that would be beneficial for special group. I still had no idea in mind, but I guessed visiting the library would help me a lot.

While choosing the best books to help, there were more people than it was the last time I went there. I started to get paranoid because few girls started murmuring. I really had no clue if it was me whom they were talking to because of my weird personality or it was something or someone else. I grabbed some books and headed to the last table of that section.

I hurriedly walked as if someone was chasing after me. I began to breathe heavily which made me feel uncomfortable. I sat down, put the books on the table and I closed my eyes. I did the inhale-exhale exercise which was taught by the previous psychologist my dad hired to help me. Well, at some point it was so effective, I diverted my thoughts to my breathing. Then, afterwards, I was fine.

****

HANNAH

“Oh I am so sorry; I thought I was talking to my friends.” I apologized.

“It was fine. Actually, the book you are holding, I am also interested to buy it.” George said.

“Oh really, are you a psychology student or professor in practice of psychology?” Hannah asked.

“No, I just think that my boss needs it.”

“Oh, your boss.”

Luckily, there were still two books left on the shelf. So, I handed in the book to him and took the last one. When he left, I started to think if his boss was a student or a psychologist or maybe, the one who suffered from the extreme extroversion. While thinking about it, Roz and Lexy appeared, they mentioned that they heard me talking to someone, so they asked. When I showed them the man whom I talked to, they began to search about what we were talking about until I shared them the whole thing.

When I showed them the book, Roz believed that there was really extreme in terms of our personality and extreme extraversion was really possible. But she didn’t mention into what extent that condition was. Lexy said that he read an article about one of the psychology sites online, she shared that people who were suffered from this, were little in number and they were totally harmless. They had problems living with the society.

“So, how do they live then?”  I asked.

“Well, according to the article, they live under their own room, they had no social interaction and they even fear people, society and crowds.”

“So, how would they survive? We know how important it is to have social interactions; after all we are social beings.”

“Well, even though they fear people, they could still have families and friends. So, maybe they were having difficulty to form new relationship. So it means that their relationship is limited to their family.”

“Oh I see.”

“And that goes with the extreme Extroversion as well. They don’t want to be alone; they don’t appreciate “Me-time” and always craving for social relationship. The danger there was, they are forming relationship which was not real in order for them to survive the feeling of loneliness.” Lexy explained.