CHAPTER 9: Dilemma

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HANNAH

“Hello, Hannah? Are you drunk?” Jordan asked.

It was almost 12:00 o’clock; Roz and Lexy were already sleeping while I was still looking up above, just looking at the ceiling. Then, afterwards, I found myself taking my phone from my bag. I went to gallery and checked some photos we had together. I had more thousand photos stored on my phone, most of them was him and me. I browsed from the first photo and I remembered that day, it was the ice cream shop near the school and he was still courting me back then. I went to different photos and as I looked closely to them, they were like playing vividly inside of me, and then, I found myself crying. Even the wallpaper of my phone was his face when I tried to put lipstick on his face while we were playing back then. It was a silly photo, but he still looked good anyway.

I stood up, and went back to the comfort room to pee. Then, when I was sitting on a bowl, I reached him out. I just wanna hear his voice, just his voice. So, to submerge myself in the ocean of sadness and despair, I allowed myself to contact him. When he said hello, I prevented myself to cry out loud, I just didn’t want him to know that I was crying. But I could not. After a long pause, I began talking.

“Jordan, I miss you. I miss you much. I called because I just wanted to hear your voice. I just want to hear your voice, just your voice. I can’t live without you. I just can’t. Can you go back? Can we fix this? Please, I am begging you, please come back to me.”

When I just said those words, he asked me if I was drunk. I told him that I was not drunk, I was sober up. He began to worry, and asked me where I was. I mentioned that he had nothing to worry about because I was with my friends. I never wanted to talk about shallow things; I wanted to talk about him and me, being reconciled. But he was too selfish to give me an answer, he said that I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was talking about. He said goodbye, and I said please stay. But at the end, he left me hanging again.

My tears were like flood. I could no longer control them to stop. I was hurt. I was badly hurt. I didn’t know what to do and that was the moment I found myself sleeping in the comfort room. The next day, I woke up because of the noise from the door; my friends were shouting, knocking and even banging the door. My head was hurt, and it felt like there was a knife chopping my both hemispheres. I massaged my temple, and when I opened my eyes. I was also asking myself what I was doing in the comfort room.

So, I stood up even though I felt I was weak. Then, when I opened the door, Roz and Lexy hugged me with tears on their eyes. They were really worried about me and thinking that I had slayed or harmed myself. Upon asking the question, why I was there, I had no idea until I saw my phone, and when I turned it on, I found out that I called Jordan.

“What? Did I call Jordan?” I asked myself in surprise.

“Did you talk to him last night? “ Roz asked.

“I don’t know.” I replied bewilderedly.

While solving the mystery of what happened last night, a call from my Nanny occurred. And that was the next disaster I had to face. I told them about the sleep over but I promised to be there at 7:00 o’clock because we would go to church together. While checking the time, I was really doomed. I took my bag, hugged them both and left Lexy’ house.

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THEON

Amorphous shapes were spotted on my temple and even to my whole body when I managed to free myself from those people who tried to kill me. They were all girls, and I was so scared. So, I ran, ran and ran, praying that they could spare my life just once because I had to fulfil my parents’ dream and that was to produce a baby. When I stopped just take a moment to breathe, these group of girls, which looked like witches, chased after me again and I had to run for myself and the only thing that motivates me to live was the dream of my parents.

When I was looking back to check if they were still there, I found no one. But when I turned my gaze in front of me, a girl dressed like an angel but no wings appeared before me. She was shining like a sun and her beauty was totally magnificent. She asked me touch her but I said I can’t but when she said that I need to trust her, I tried my best to do it and I did. And I didn’t faint at all, but when the girl transformed into a witch, that’s where I fainted.

After a while, I woke up to one on my dreams – being chased again. Well, when I got up, I still felt exhausted and i just need water. Apparently, I asked George to bring me some and he did. When I opened the door, it was not George I saw, it was my father. I looked down, an indication that I was not yet ready neither to see him nor to talk to him. So, I helped him to carry the tray but he insisted. He put the tray on my table. He was quiet, so was I. So, after that, I asked him if he needs anything but I could sense that he wanted to talk about the whole conversation last night.

“About last night, just don’t mind us. We never wanted to put the pressure on your back. But, I’d make sure to find the best person to help you with your condition so that when you’re ready, you can take over my place.”

He didn’t wait for me to talk and he said, “Take your breakfast. I have to go.”

While seeing him leave, there was a sadness which clothed my entire being. They were so good parents, and even If I don’t ask for it, they gave it to me. So, I felt a bit guilty and was more eager to help myself to get better. But how? A question I always asked myself with.

How am I going to help myself?

Was there really somewhere out there who could help me with my condition? If there is really someone out there, who was able to help, I hope to meet that person, soon enough. 

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HANNAH

When I went back home, Nanny Rose and Lolo Claro were waiting for me in the living room, they looked upset and they could never get me away with this that time. They were staring at me as if they were lions ready to attack their prey. Upon arrival, they even smelled the reek of alcohol on my system which made them feel even fret. Nanny Rose was holding a stick while Lolo Claro was standing right beside Nanny with his arms crossed.

“Hear me out first, we can talk nicely, right?” I asked.

Nanny Rose hit the table with her stick as if she were a high priestess on witch movie, imposing punishment. I was walking nearly to them, but she warned me not to use my power unto them that time. Well, I was really decided, and no one could ever hinder me to do so. Then, she asked me to stop.

“You know that Sunday is for the Lord, and you didn’t manage to attend the service because of your tardiness and behaviour Hannah. This time, you have to get the punishment you deserve.” Nanny Rose explained.

“Yeah, that’s right!” Lolo Claro said.

So, after hearing that their explanation and I could not even wield my power, there was the only way to skip the punishment, so I ran to my room and locked the door immediately. They started knocking and shouting until no sound was spotted on the door. Then, when I opened it, I knew they were waiting for me to open it and when I did, they attacked me but before I was hit, I managed to hold their hands and everything was settled.

“Next time, just don’t forget your priorities okay.” Nanny Rose said in kindness.

After that, they walked away. I even apologize for using that power for my benefits. I also murmured a prayer just to say sorry to the Lord and I hope he could forgive me for what I did. Then, after that, just to eliminate the smell, I took a bath.