Chapter 1

I never thought that I would be one of the ones that suffered from betrayal. I never thought that fate would show me a side of the world that I didn’t want to know. A dark world where I couldn’t even know the meaning of faithfulness. The man that I love whispered his love to someone else. I wouldn't say I like the situation that I am in. I did everything that could be labelled as loyalty in the name of love for him. I helped him in situations where I sacrificed my future for him.

I just wanted to greet him and say that I love him once more like I am used to. I lived in his shadow for so long, and I kept telling myself that nothing can bring me happiness besides his smile and that he is satisfied with me. I went in. I am used to going to his chamber to greet him and love him. Yet, this time what I heard and saw was beyond my ability to accept it. I wasted six years of my life on him for nothing.

I hid in the closet because I wanted to surprise him. I wanted to say that I was pregnant and ask him when he was planning to marry me because he took a long time to decide. I knew that my family was ruined and I couldn’t begin a new life with him with my previous name. After all, we were hunted like animals, because we were labelled with the name criminal. He is a noble and a Duke overall. I accepted to stay in the shadows because he promised me that he would never leave me, no matter what happened.

Lies, lies, lies. He was using me for something, and I didn’t know. Liar. I was naive. If only I could change my fate, I would choose better choices and cherish the people that I loved. They were gone one after the other in the blink of an eye. We were a great family and very loyal to the king. Yet, I don’t know how it happened, but they died for a false accusation. I was still hiding in the closet when he got in. He wasn’t alone; he was with my best friend. A girl that I loved dearly because she was always there for me when I needed someone.

" You came to see me late today, do I mean nothing to you now, my love ?" he cooed.

" I am sorry, I wanted to come early, but I couldn’t shake off my supposed to be the best friend."

They didn’t greet each other because they didn’t have enough time. They just would be wasting their time if they did so. I saw everything from a hole in the lock. Their whispers, their touches, their behaviours, their smiles… The smile that he showed her was one that I wanted to see for a long time, I longed for it, yet I didn’t receive it. They hurried to kiss each other, and they didn’t stop holding their hands. I am stuck in here. I wish I could get out and scream in their faces but I couldn’t. I was shocked so much that I couldn’t move. The scenes that I saw in front of me made me freeze in my spot, unable to move away. I stayed there until they did all the things that I dreamed about it. Right !!! I was dreaming so much. I wonder when I will wake up.

The tears didn’t stop until they left the chamber. I was wary enough that I was a loser from the beginning, so I stayed still making no sound until they left. I was living in his house, in a small room that even the maids were having better than it. I get out of the closet and runs to my room. I needed to think rationally now. I used my heart too much, what can I do to fix this? I know I am at the bottom of society now, but I need to think of a solution. Ooooh, my child !!! I wish I didn’t become pregnant with you. I am not the desired person. I was blind; it’s my fault for not being able to see what he was.

Will he search for me now? I was supposed to return for a while and greet him. What will happen now? I have a strong desire to slap him and burn him alive. Yet, I can’t; my body refuses to do so. Oooh, Alma !! You don’t know how I despise you now… And you William, I hope that you’ll rot in hell. This drama went for so long, and my heart is completely shattered. I guess I don’t have one anymore. A maid came in without knocking like usual. Even these people mistreat me; she said that I should hurry to greet William because he wanted me in his chamber. Oooh !! What will I do?

" Did you call me, William ?"

"Oooh yes !! Follow me. I need to show you something important to me. I need you to do a critical job," he smirked, full of himself.

I am scared; a bad feeling submerged me.

"What kind of job ?" I quaked.

"You’ll know when you’ll get there, my dear !" he replied, fixing the collar on his shirt.

I am scared more now. My instinct tells me to run away, that something terrible will happen, something that I can’t handle.

Is this the garden? But why is he taking me there? I see several mages wearing black cape hood with the insignia of the black guild. But what are they doing here? For a forbidden guild to be here, what is happening? He told me to stand in the centre of a circle. It was a weird one.

Wait, what are they doing? The black men gathered around me, holding me from all inches that can be held. They threw me down, binding me with iron to the ground in a dog way.

"William! What is the meaning of this ?" I yelled.

Anger replaced my fear. I remembered what happened this morning. His betrayal was shocking that it made me think that everything is possible from him. He is ready to do everything to achieve his goal.

"This will be your last work for me. Have a good trip to the underworld !" he laughed.

What will he do to me? I can’t believe that I loved such kind of man. Where was my heart when I needed to love a better person? If only… Alma, what is she doing here? She didn’t go back. The realization made me soak in fear once more. She was with him from the beginning. She came and approached William holding him like before, just this time she was smiling at me with a malicious look. Why? What did I do wrong? Was I too stupid for them? Maybe I should’ve run away when I saw them.

I am petrified. I don’t want to die. I want to live for my child for my dear child. My eyes became dry from fear. I struggled but in vain.

" Don’t waste your time, and you are not getting out of this alive," Alma stated.

" What did I do to you, Alma? You are my best friend. I shared everything with you… All my secrets, even my deepest desire, " I bellowed.

" Mmmmm…. You see, things can’t work the way some people want. Today, you are sacrificing yourself for us to go higher, right, my love !"

"Absolutely! You were such a good lover Bonine, and it’s a shame that you died early. I hope that you’ll give me more in your next life."

He laughs, and I laugh too, not because of him but because of my idiocy. I am too pathetic that I want to bury myself faster. Perhaps, it’s better off dying. Wait, my child!

" Just give me some time to see my child born, I beg you."

I look up at him; I can’t face him well because of the restrain. The black men were chanting for a while now. I cry. The tears were flooding endlessly. I want to live. I don’t want to die. I never did the things that I desired and never said to the people that I loved that I love them. My family, my family, my family…. I remember every death, every last word. I was there every time someone died. I want to live, and they said that I must live that I must avenge them. I want to live.

"What are you barking about? A child, whose child it is? You were cheating on me, such an sl**. Too bad, you were so naive that you didn’t see that the one you loved caused the demise of your beloved ones."

What is this? The demise of my family. Was he the one who killed them? Why? I don’t want to know; it’s too hard to accept.

 "You should consider yourself lucky that you are born with a gift that benefits me. Now, your gift will be mine, and I’ll be the invincible one with my love, of course."

" What is the gift that I am born with it? My intelligence. Sorry but I wasn’t. Since you deceived me," I hissed.

"Your magic abilities."

"Aaaah! You thought that I was born with it. Naive. I learned them, one by one, and studied hard," I sneered.

"Really, it’s not like I’ll believe you," he approached me, I could see the joy in his eyes and something else, he enjoys seeing me like this, " Anyway, your father was a good man, when I killed him, he begged to spare you. I wanted to tell you this because it is amusing to see you like that. Furthermore, you didn’t know that I could hear everything that you could hear back then."

It was like you dropped a big amount of water on me. I couldn’t hear anything because everything became black.

 Bonine Rayginaz was a gifted young noble child. Although she was pretty, no one has looked her way because, in every celebration or gathering, she always wore plain clothes. But if there were things that stood out about her is the ability to have a great amount of mana. She was gifted in magic and had many abilities. What William didn’t understand is the fact that the abilities that she had were learned, not born with it. She was a prodigy in magic; she could understand complex things and had her own view on the matters. She hated the gatherings because she was only greeted for her figure. The men who greeted her never were ashamed and hesitated to take a glimpse or two at her entire body. She was disgusted. She met William at one of the royal gatherings. He showed an interest in her abilities; he thought back then that she was born with interesting powers ignoring the facts that she theorized every concept and learned it. She was pleased because he didn’t ask her about her body or took a stare at it. He kept talking to her about magic, general knowledge, and her thoughts about them. She thought that he saw her for who she was. He asked her many times to show her the extent of her abilities; every time he asked, she executed.

She had a lovely family. They cared a lot about her. Sometimes she was indeed annoyed by the excessive care, but she liked them a lot.

Seeing that the Duke was interested in her magic, she learned and studied more so that he’ll keep coming to see her and spend more time with her. Many times, her mother tried to dissuade her, but Bonine was stubborn. She liked spending time with him, and she was fond of it.

He cajoled her and showed signs of treasuring her. He smiled brightly for her, seducing her in every way possible. He was like the sun rising in the darkness with his blond hair and yellow eyes. He was never satisfied with her performances; he wanted her to develop her abilities more and more. She did her best because she loved him, dearly.

Little by little, things went for the worse; her family members were dying one by one. She was devastated by it, but William was here to help her get through it. She loved him more. One by one until she was the only one left from the Rayginaz family. Her money was all lost in the debts. The duke took her in but under one condition that she’ll help him in the upcoming war. She would lend him her powers that he can protect the country. She was amazed by his desire to save the innocents that she agreed. But little did she know, that he was using her. He got fame and popularity. She lived in his shadows, pleasing her with sweet words once in a while.

 This is what got me to this situation. I was naive. If only I listened to my mother. She felt it that I was helping him in his plan without knowing it. Aaah !! My young self, if only…. This is what I got from my love! My best friend having an affair with my ex-fiancé. I guess I helped them get closer to each other since I knew her the first. Why did I have to learn the truth when it is the end of my life? To him, I was just a tool. People say that affairs should never be forgiven. That, it doesn’t make sense how the feeling of love change; it’s just that in a relationship, people should be honest with each other. I’ve met a lot of people, but my love for you never changed, that’s what he used to say. Because it never existed in the first place. I died in vain, wasting my life for a jerk.

What’s happening…? It’s dark, but it’s warm. As if I am in a mother’s embrace. I will stay like this forever to run away from it all.

Wait, am I not dead? Why am I saying the world strangely, everything is so big. Did William stop the spell because he believed that I wasn’t born with those strong abilities? How much longer will you take advantage of me? I must leave faster. I try to move, but my body feels so small, I can’t move my body like I want to. What kind of spell is that? Make it stop !! I begin to cry.

 "There, there, I was only going to see your father and greet him. Don’t cry, my dear Bonine. There, there, I’ll kiss you."