I really did go back in time where I was still a baby; I wonder how many months I have. Everything looks just the way it looked before when I was young. Let’s sort out the situation. I am still a baby, so I can’t do anything besides watching them move around me. Even if I returned to the past, that means the problems that will happen will still happen, except if I interfered maybe I could change our fate and protect my family. I can’t talk so I can’t say that I am happy to see them. I am glad. I’ll explode from joy. Since I know the future, I will try to change my destiny myself.
I don’t want to go through that again. First, I need to learn to move, walk and speak. I am still curious about how I managed to go back in time, was it because of the spell? Was it because the spell failed? I don’t know. I was given a new life from now on; it’s important to know how I will live it.
"Ooooh! Miss don’t cry too much unlike other babies, " said one of the maids. I think her name was Sasha.
"You are right, I remember Damien was a troublesome one, I still can’t get over it when he spilt all his milk on me," said another one.
"Miss is quiet as the young master Durian; I guess she will be like him."
"Maybe, she is sleepy or hungry, I don’t think that she’ll end up like him, Miss is so considerate, she smiles whenever she sees us, " replied another one.
Really, they can’t even give privacy to babies. I can’t even think properly. Anyway. I fell asleep while thinking after struggling against it for the tenth time. A baby’s body needs so much sleep to grow up healthier.
"It’s so small; her hands are too small; look at these, she can only hold one finger, " he said, putting his finger on my small right hand.
This was my brother Damien. He is older than me by 7 years. His hair is blond and has blue eyes. All of my family members have blue eyes. We are distinguished by it. Now that I see it with my own eyes, he was childish and spoiled. I kept hearing them over my head while sleeping. They disturbed my sleep.
"I can’t believe that there are nails on her fingers. I thought that babies are not born with it, that they grow it later, " he said, looking at me with astonished eyes. I never saw him looking at me like that. He always had a cold aura around him.
This was my oldest brother Durian. He has black hair like my mother. I want my mother. I am glad to see them all again. I am so moved by it that I open my eyes and begin to cry.
"Look, Durian, you woke up our little sister ! " scolded Damien.
"It’s not my fault! It’s you who said that Bonine looks like you while she has the same hair as me, " responded Durian.
"You are so childish! She doesn’t look like you; she is like mama. "
"And I have the same hair as mama, and now Bonine has the same hair as me. "
I am speechless. They argue about such a trivial matter. I was so speechless that I stopped crying. I see my brother Durian trying to touch my hand, but he felt awkward and backed off. Ohhh! I remember he was shy even when I was a grown-up. He couldn’t speak to girls normally. That’s why he always avoided them. Later, he fell in love with a commoner that was working for him as a knight. I saw her. She was beautiful. I guess I have so much work to do. When the time comes, I will educate him to talk to her normally. He always had trouble with girls for that.
" Brother, she fell asleep quickly. "
" She is a sleepyhead like me. You see Durian. "
Will they quarrel again? Yet, I am glad to see them like that; so lively. When I was a grown-up, my brother Durian used to keep a distance from me. I wondered why in my head for a long time, and I still don’t know. I was only closing my eyes to picture my two brothers as a grown-up. Geez! Why did they assume that I slept?
I caught them in surprise. They looked at me with mesmerizing eyes. I am happy to see you, my dear two brothers. I smile at them, making some baby sounds. Damien pats my head, making his mouth in a zero shape. There, there, I’ll smile for you too, Durian. He blushed to turn his head away.
" She is so cute, " said Durian.
" I agree, I need to kiss those cheeks; they are so adorable. "
I feel sleepy. I guess it’s time for me to return sleeping. As I fell asleep, I dream about my past. The day my father died. I was accused of planning to murder him for money. He was the first one to die. I still remember the speeches of that day clearly, because it was a shocking fact. We were sitting all together, William was there too. He tried, little by little, until he gained my parents' consent. That day, he was planning to discuss my engagement with him with my parents. I still remember that I felt uneasy. We received the news of his murder that same day. It was a shocking matter for all of us. My mother became unconscious; if it weren’t for my brother Damien, she would have fallen to the ground. My brother Durian was shocked as well, but he got himself altogether to fix things. A bullet in his head killed my father.
The investigation was ended with me being framed. Of course, I couldn’t accept it because I didn’t do it. The proof was a brooch that I lost months ago. A silver one that William gifted to me. They said that they found it in the murder scene, and there was nothing more than it. Why was it me? When I remember, I was a big fool. William used to come a lot, so he could’ve had sufficient time to plant his spies in our manor.
" The investigation is already over. If you keep pestering over a lie, the punishment will be heavier. "
" Bonine, my love, how can you do such thing ? " asked William showing a disgusted face.
" But I did nothing! I swear! I have done nothing. I am the same as you were shocked by the outcome. "
" That’s right! How could such a gentle person do such a thing, my love I believe you, I will conduct a proper investigation, and you’ll be freed. "
Because he said those words, I felt happy that he was with me, so I went with the security guard to the prison. I was a fool. I thought that he was smiling at me to reassure me, but it was more of a smirk than a smile, I couldn’t realize it until now. Until the second investigation is over, they said, I will stay there. I stayed in that dirty place, waiting and waiting for William to come and say those words. But he didn’t come. Instead, a messenger came and told me the dreadful news. I felt hopeless for the first time in my life when they wanted to switch the prison to the main one. One far away from the capital. I kept hearing people talking about me behind my back. They said that I was disgusting to plan all of it, that I was only showing a gentle face, but I crave more power, that I made a mistake and it was revealed by God, to show what kind of person I am. I tried explaining what happened again to the judges, my friends, and acquaintances, but it only made things worse. People hated me to the core; I was evil in their eyes. One day, after a whole week of being in the main prison, my brother came to me. He held me in his arms, and for the first time, I knew how he held me, dear, to his heart. I cried like I never cried in my life. His arms were so warm in the chill of this prison. I was beaten up and bullied here because I was a noble child. Most of the prisoners were commoners, and they hated the nobles a lot.
" I’ll find out the truth behind my father’s death and get you out of here because I don’t believe that you could kill the father. I can doubt everyone except my family. We can’t do this to each other, and there was no reason for you to do so. Try to sleep at ease. I’ll do whatever I can to support you. After all, you are my dear sister. "
For the first time in my life, I saw a soft look on my brother’s face. If only I knew back then, if only I used my brain a little, I had a brain only for decoration.
" Durian, I am sorry for mistreating you sometimes, " I said, feeling a feeling of remorse.
"Don’t worry! We are a family. "
Live your life; don’t die for something you didn’t do. Try to be yourself, change for the better not, the worse. That was my brother’s last word to me. He never came back, neither his corpse. I began to hate myself to the core. Everything was chaotic. I thought William believed them; what they said about me.
I was a fool, a complete idiot, my family suffered, and I was selfishly thinking about my love. My brother disappeared because of me. I stayed in prison for some days. Then, Damien came to see me. It was the first time since I came here.
" Bonine, I believe in you. Since Durian disappeared, it means that someone is trying to hide the truth. Now, think only about yourself. I’ll get you out of prison first to come home I found a way out. Don’t worry! You’ll get out tomorrow, " reassured Damien.
I returned home after becoming slim from the malnutrition. Seeing me like that, my mother fell into tears, she held me and cried in my shoulder. I couldn’t shake her. I was waiting for Damien, but he never came back. He left home and didn’t come back for a while. When he came back, he was a corpse.
"Damien, my baby, not you too. Why do you have to leave me? Bonine, Bonine, stay next to me, never go far. Please don’t leave me you too! Oooh, Damien! Ooooh, Durian! Ooooh, Rayan ! "
First, my father, second, my brother Durian and then it was my brother Damien. My mother couldn’t handle it. Her yelling indicated her breaking heart. What did my brother do to come back all black and with many cuts? His bones were twisted, and he was unrecognizable.
" Don’t look, Bonine! They did horrible things to my baby. But who is targeting us? "
Later on, my mother becomes sick for thinking too much about them. She committed suicide after a week after my brother Durian’s death. I was shocked. I was alone with no one to rely on. It was unbearable. All my family's assets were confiscated. I was alone with nothing. I used to rod on the street when I met William again. I knew magic, yet no one wanted to employ me. Yet, he offered to help me by working with him. It is just what would I do was odd. To be there in the upcoming war to lend him my power. He will use my powers for his benefit to appear as he did it himself. Like he protected the country himself. To take all my credit for it. I didn’t think about that a lot back then, since I thought that he was angry with me. I was happy that he found me and sheltered me. I was grateful that he took me in. So I did everything to make him happy.
I woke up crying.
" Bonine, my baby, you are awake, don’t cry! It was only a bad dream! "
Right mother! It was only a dream. A dream that I was going to change. A fate that I will avoid doing everything in my power.
But first, let’s learn how to move.
I woke to my own crying and saw my two brothers again. They were looking at me in such an intense way that I like it. They are lovely. When I saw my startled brother Durian, I saw in his eyes fondness and happiness. Even though he was in front of me, I was sad, remembering the dream that I had. I kept crying but showed my feelings with a smile. I didn’t want to make them worry about me. I’ll make sure to protect them this time. I’ll pray in their places to have a great future. My irreplaceable family members, I will do anything to prevent their death, and you, William, I’ll work on your downfall, I swear." Where am I? Here I am… ", said brother Damien hiding his face with his hands and showing it again.This Damien, he will tire me from laughing. Does he think that he is hiding from me? I had to laugh because I must show that I am happy that he plays with me. Well! I find him cute and lovely. He brightens up every time that I laugh and laughs too. My jaws are tired." You see she smil
Aunt Riza is one of the people that I should protect too. She was there for me when our house fell to ruin. She knew how I felt, so she tried her best to support me. I am too small. There is nothing I can do now with it. I’ve received another chance so I should use it well. I could start with the minor things—learning words. Since now, my teeth are growing. I will be able to speak a little. I try to say father and mother but instead came out weird sounds. Tears fill my eyes. It’s so hard; I can’t believe it. But it’s so hard. How did we manage to speak normally? Yeah! I remember that I read a book about habits. We have, in our brains, different places where we stock what we learn. Habits help the brain to memorize things faster; when you see a similar thing or situation, you act by the habits that we do not with our intelligence. For a knight, they can defend themselves well if they are trained to fight without relying only on their eyes. Habits make it easier in a lot of situations. S
A length of time has passed since my first tea party. It was enjoyable at last. I was able to arrange people in categories. The huge first pace that I did was befriending Madeleine Sarlintine. After meeting him, a lot of things in his life began to change. He became more aware of relationships and began to build more, but he would often visit me. He is gotten better in handling his ability and wasn’t called insane anymore. His mother became more gentle towards him. It’s been six years now since that time. I changed my ways of dealing with people and a lot of things in my life. I spend a lot of time with my family and go wherever my mom went to. I needed to know more about the flow of powers. To understand a lot of things that I didn’t care much about it in my last life." Good morning Lady Bonine! Oh, no ! Look at you. Your hair is all messy. You are already eleven now. Weren’t you able to sleep last night ? " said my personal maid. I am at an age where I have to own one." Good morni
I need to take the next step. I need the power to protect my family. That teacher that used to came has found his carrier destroyed because he slapped me. It was something that was bound to happen. I didn’t know how to behave before. Before, in my last life, I studied a lot to go to the academy but meeting William was a turn event. He insisted that going there was a waste of time. I still remember the load of books that I read. First, I need to go to the academy, but I think it’s not time yet. I’ll leave it for when I meet William.
" Do your best when you’re training, best friend. "That’s, and without a doubt, brother Gasus, shouting like that in the corridor, is he stupid? There is no manner at all in the way he speaks. Saying these kinds of words means that he is not here for my brother, then for whom? I don’t like thinking too much. I’ll enjoy my morning drinking tea and reading a book. I had too many thoughts in my head recently that I began to be absent-minded all the time. I raise my head from my book. He is coming this way with a little girl. I presume that she is his sister, but why did he bring her here? Does he think that I am a babysitter? What a stupid thought? Manners manners, let’s not jud
" Brother Gasus! I guess I’ll leave my family in your hands. "" Why? "" I want to go to the academy. I need to gain power using my own knowledge and talent. "" It’s a good idea, considering your abilities, you’ll do better in the academy than staying here. But I doubt that your brothers will let you off. "
Living that idiotic figure behind, we keep walking towards the place where we’ll have our tests. This place isn’t that amazing in my eyes. I remember that a massacre happened here because someone tried to plot against the prince of the Azura kingdom. I remember that he was a rude and cruel person. No one could tolerate him. He came here for a visit and ended up killing a lot of students. I’ll make sure to prepare for it. The exam will begin soon. We’ll have to hurry to the examination site.Everyone is chatting. Things are lively here. I keep standing in my place, thinking about the upcoming test. I wonder what it will be. Moving my head in all direct
I’ve never considered that I’ll meet Davina early.I guess I just made a mistake, the participant that I defeated will be listed as the 200 in the ranking, his fighting style was pretty good for a student. Either way, I have no choice but to beat all of them. Seeing how the rest are acting, they won’t accept to be in the first 30th. They are aiming for the first place. Let’s show them how we will deal with them!" For now, we must find the others. It must be a priority. "
« I am sorry father, but you should go somewhere else, » I whispered.«I won’t…»« You don’t have any choice. I am sending you. I’ll see you if I could. »I don’t know where I sent my father, but I made sure to fuel the spell enough for it. I know that this might be a mistake, but I wasn’t going to let my father hinder me. He exhausted all of his mana.« I will be your opponent, William, » I said, taking my sword out and pointing it towards him.« I don’t want to fight you, Lady Bonine. I know that you have exceptional skills, but you won’t be able to fight me. »« How would I know if I don’t try? »«Lady Bonine, I wa
I felt that something was going to happen. My mind was restless this whole afternoon. I changed my clothes in a simple dress. I can’t deny that I had a hard time calming Caroline, who was scared to get exposed. I am glad for one thing; I gave all my family jewels that have a special stone, as long as they are wearing it, I would sense that they are okay. Once the stone gets destroyed, I would feel it and rush to help them. As long as he has it, I won’t feel worried about anything.«My Lady, you won’t sleep. It’s already past 10,» said Caroline.I stared at her and asked if my father got back from the castle; she shook her head negatively. I requested her to make another teacup. I had already decided to stay awake until my father returned. I closed my eyes, resting my head against the sofa. The sleep submerged me, but I had to make sure that my father was alright. I was
«Caroline, I’ll be going out today. Just cover for me, I don’t know the others to know about this,» I said.«But my Lady, you are creating troubles for me. I won’t be able to get away if I am found out,» she replied.« Don’t worry; my father knows that I am such a troublesome child. »As I finished putting on my clothes, I jumped from the balcony, leaving Caroline dumb-founded. I heard that there is good competition at the GREAT WIZARD. It’s a place that I remember from my past life; I passed by it when I went strolling the capital with Edward. I still remember it; it was a raining day. I teleported myself to the capital. When you are sneaking away, you don’t need a carriage.I wandered through the street and came across the market. It was placed in a series of rooftops co
« Bonine. Lately, you have been absent-minded. What happened? Is it something that is bothering you? » Inquired Davina, worried.« It’s nothing. I’ve been having trouble sleeping. Lately, it must be because of it. Davina, do you respect Sir William Ramezinat ? »«Actually, I despise him.»« Why? »« I don’t know; I don’t like him. He gets on my nerves every time; he shows up. »He got on my nerves too. Since that day, he’s been visiting the Rayginaz state every two days. I don’t know how to get rid of him. After his third visit, he was casual to the maids; they admired his handsomeness. I need to be wary of the changes that occurred. If I were in his shoes, I would plant a spy on my father. Someone who could&
« You got used to it, pinning me down this way. Are you playing the tough guy, Edward? » I asked coming closer to his face, but it wasn't easy to maintain the position, so I let myself sink into the bed.I felt his breathing above my neck; it was tickling me. Ignoring my question, he went at it again. He made me want him and backed off. I felt his strong right hand over mine freeing the other one, and his other hand on my right hip. I moved my free hand to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt.«Don’t move. You won’t get away if you keep moving,» he whispered.« How did you get here? »I remembered that if my father saw him, things could get ugly. I don’t want him to go anywhere. He scrutinized my face as I felt his hand down my spine.&laqu
« I heard from your brother Durian that you beat your father. Impressive. What a pity! I wasn’t here. I had to run an errand downtown, » said Davina.« What a pity indeed! I didn’t beat him by the way. I thought that you are going to leave. Anyway, how come Durian told you about my duel with my brother? Strange indeed, is there some improvement? » I said, putting my fingers on my chin.« I told him that I want to exchange letters with him and he accepted it, » she replied, proud of herself.«I guess he is the type of person that waits for the girl to make a move.»Davina looked up, opening her mouth to talk but finished by keeping silence. I peeked at where she was staring at; Durian was standing in front of my father’s office reading documents; the door of the office was opened. I looked b
We returned the next day like scheduled. I was so curious about the Azur order that I went to see my father in his office immediately after changing my clothes. I wouldn’t say I like it when I don’t know anything important like this. Perhaps it’s the reason why my father was murdered in my last life. If I know what this is about, then I’ll know what William is aiming for or at least part of it.«I was waiting for you, Bonine. I know that your curiosity is bigger than you,» said my father.I smiled knowing that my father knows my character, I doubted him in my last life, he always had a stern face that I thought he didn’t care about us. Even when I used to ask for something, he answered me in a poker face; I had a hard time translating his emotions.« I came to know what I need to know and I’ll tell you what you need to know. I
«Hey Bonine, do you know what Edward’s servants say about him?» said Davina.After speaking to my father, I returned to my room. I wanted to think more about what he said to me. The Azur order really exists, but why is my father such an important thing from us? And why is it even secretive? The world is full of weird things. I was lying thinking when Davina came and lied down next to me. I can see that she didn’t sleep well too.« No, how they talk about him? » I asked.«I thought that you heard it. I am disappointed, you who is sensitive about everything that is said about him.»« I never cared about people’s talk; you know how women tend to change the reality of things. »« You’re right. I heard a maid saying that a beast tamer appear
«My Lady, help me. I can’t die, my family counts on me. I did everything following your orders. You can’t abandon me,» the lackey cried.Reina showed an annoyed face. I know this, she is probably thinking ‘is he serious? He was made to take the blame in the first place’. This show is entertaining, I wanted to investigate what happened today, but Edward beat me to it.« Who sent you? Speak, who sent you to frame me? You are ungrateful, my family had taken you under her wings to make your life better, but you harmed us. How can you be this bad? I can’t believe that there is someone who wants to harm us, » then she showed fake tears.I wonder what she thinks. She is probably wearing a necklace that makes her thoughts unreadable. I feel sleepy. Reina kneeled, holding her mouth crying. I must applaud her; she is too g