Chapter 3

I woke to my own crying and saw my two brothers again. They were looking at me in such an intense way that I like it. They are lovely. When I saw my startled brother Durian, I saw in his eyes fondness and happiness. Even though he was in front of me, I was sad, remembering the dream that I had. I kept crying but showed my feelings with a smile. I didn’t want to make them worry about me. I’ll make sure to protect them this time. I’ll pray in their places to have a great future. My irreplaceable family members, I will do anything to prevent their death, and you, William, I’ll work on your downfall, I swear.

" Where am I? Here I am… ", said brother Damien hiding his face with his hands and showing it again.

This Damien, he will tire me from laughing. Does he think that he is hiding from me? I had to laugh because I must show that I am happy that he plays with me. Well! I find him cute and lovely. He brightens up every time that I laugh and laughs too. My jaws are tired.

" You see she smiled at me, " said Damien

Oh no! There they go again. Why are you quarrelling about everything? I’ll stop them. I’ll laugh at my brother Durian too.

" You are mistaken. She laughs all the time, " replied Durian.

He looks at me, and I smile. He shows a soft look. Oooh, it’s mealtime! My mother’s close maid came looking for me. We went all together to my mother, who was working on the manor’s accounts.

" Oh my! Bonine, come to mama, it’s mealtime. You came with your brothers, how lovely! "

She begins to feed me with her breast. My mother is amazing to handle my brothers. They are so… lively.

" I bet you are hungry. Sorry for making you wait. All full now it’s time to burp. "

I don’t want to. I don’t want to burp. It’s embarrassing!

" It always takes awhile madam! Maybe, it’s embarrassing for her ! "

You are right, aunt Riza! It’s embarrassing! How can a lady burp! I must act like a proper Lady, unlike my last life, I was too casual. I mustn’t embarrass my mother… I mustn’t… I burp.

" Bonine is amazing ! " beamed Damien.

" Do you love Bonine that much ? " asked my mother.

" I love Bonine more than the world. I love her to the moon. "

He draws the moon with his hand showing that he loves me too much. I also love him, my brother Damien. But he is showing too much childish behaviour, no wonder he is a big troublemaker in the future. I gotta work on it. I can’t leave him like that. We mustn’t give our enemies any means to plot against us.

«Mom, can I hold Bonine, just once. I promise I won’t drop her like my father. "

Ooooh, why did you make me remember that? Father wanted to heft me, but he dropped me. It hurt too much.

" No, you’ll injure her. But maybe if you learn your numbers, I’ll consider it. "

" Mom, I learned my numbers, even how to do the addition, subtraction, and multiplication. "

That’s my brother Durian! He is the best in learning! But my mother is the most amazing negotiator.

" Wanna hold Bonine. Be careful! There. "

" Why is he holding her? No, I want to hold her too. "

I see Damien glaring at Durian, angry. They are fighting over me again.

" If you want to hold Bonine too. Be a good student, and don’t slack around. "

" You’ll see. I’ll learn it. »

" My son, give me now my daughter Bonine. It’s enough! She is heavy for you. »

" She isn’t heavy at all ! " insisted Durian.

" Give me my daughter, you rascal ! " cursed mother putting both her hands on her hips.

" What is a rascal mom ? " asked Damien.

" Durian don’t learn everything that I say. Even if you’ll need it to curse someone, in the future. "

" I get it, mom! "

I got used to it.

 I see my father entering the chamber that we’re in. He is still as I remember him, showing a stern face. He asks us if we’re all here, turning his face towards me. He seems lonely. Father, Even as a child, I never remembered him holding me, but I am not the same. I’ll make him hold me. I move my hand, trying to reach him. My arms are too small. I need to grow up fast. I try to call him papa, but only weird sounds came out. I am embarrassed!

" It seems that Bonine wants to hold her dad. So lovely! Rayan, hold your daughter. "

" Come here, Bonine ! "he nods.

" You can’t hold her. I’ll hold her for you! Remember when you told us the body’s knight must be taken care of very well! You are tired. You need to rest, " said Durian.

" I am not tired. Give me Bonine, " commanded father.

My family loved me this much. My father was always stern because he didn’t know how to talk with me and my brother Durian was a shy person; he couldn’t form the words that he wanted to tell me. My mother is still the same. I am scared that these happy times will disappear and everyone will die early. I don’t want to see it again. So this time I will definitely protect them, protect everyone. I won’t allow those tragedies to happen again. I fell asleep again while thinking. I lost for a hundred times against sleep.

I must practice how to move. First, I need to flip. I must fight against gravity. I can’t back down now. It’s good that I am alone. A little more to the right. I did it. Awau!

I flipped successfully. I am so proud of myself.

" Oooh, my lady! It’s mealtime! "

Aunt Riza! I am embarrassed! My stomach showed that I am hungry by talking with a weird sound.

" You must be hungry from using all your strength while flipping. "

When did she see me? Now that I am 6 months old, I need to eat other things than drinking my mother’s milk. Aunt Riza feeds me with a spoon a potato soup. Saying nom nom nom. You know aunt, I have an adult mind. I’d like to eat quietly. Still, the attempt failed. I will think of how to protect my family in a quiet environment now in my bed.

" Is this your sister? She is adorable. She is very calm. I remember my sister was crying all the time. "

Black hair with red eyes. I know him. Brother Durian’s friend Gasus. Oooh my God! I am happy to see him. I like it very much. He is the only one who stood up with my brother to help me, and he used to play with me a lot. Tears run down my cheeks. I remember he died too for trying to find out about the murder. The news came that he found decisive proofs that’s why he died. He was the only one who tried to know about brother Durian’s death. I cry.

" Look you made her cry ! ", said my brother Durian.

" No, I didn’t. Bonine, grow up as an amazing and intelligent lady, unlike your brother, who is rude to me, " he complained. He is still funny like he used to. Oooh, I am in the past now.

Brother Gasus. Thank you really! This time I will also prevent your death. This time I will definitely protect you. You and Belladone, your sister who used to play with me. He is cheerful. I smile at him. He asks me whether I am really a baby. Oooh! I forgot. I am not supposed to understand him. He tries to touch me, but Durian prevented him from doing so.

" You are a rascal! You hit me for trying to touch your sister. "

He lifts me to his arms and pokes my cheeks. He hugs me tightly glaring at Gasus with a look that says that I am his sister, that I belong to him.

" I want to hold her too, Duriaaaaaaaaaan ! " said Damien.

" You haven’t mastered your mathematics ! "

" Wait and see! I will soon. "

Brother Durian…. Brother Damien…. Brother Gasus… They are still children, but I will look after them very well. I try to cheer brother Damien, and he looked proud. He kisses my cheek. I am still not used to skinship brother. I never remembered him even holding my hands. But we were good with each other.

" Bonine is so cute ! "

" What are you doing? Stop touching my sister casually. "

I spent the last months like that, in bed. I am now seven months. I’ve been practising my movement and talking. It was hard. I really didn’t know it before, but it’s hard to be a baby. No wonder, we forget everything when we grow up. It’s a hard experience.

" Bonine doesn’t cry that much. Have you noticed, Durian ? " inquired Gasus.

" Yeah, I have been worried. I heard mama and papa talking about it. But the doctor said that she is healthy and that we can’t diagnose a baby’s mind. "

" Well, I think that she is a reticent person. My sister was too loud, the complete opposite of Bonine that we were worried about too. But it was normal, and we got used to it eventually. I guess she’ll be wise when she grows up. "

" She doesn’t play with her toys too, and she doesn’t try to leave her crib. But when I hold a book like that, she’ll want it. Look ! " said Durian. I heard you, brother.

" Oooh! She’ll be a genius ! "

What are they talking about? Discussing things about me like that in my presence. I indeed like books, I can’t resist when I see one. No matter how many times I tried. And now he is shaking it again. It’s the theory of Glunden’s magic. My favourite book. That magician was ahead of his time; no one understood him. Even now, no one tried to understand his complexes.

" Right, Bonine is a genius. Look at her she’s too adorable, " said brother Damien.

" She is more than a genius, " replied Durian.

" Right, she is an angel, " said Damien.

" Cuter than an angel ! " replied Durian.

" Are you quarrelling about Bonine now? Such childish behaviour! " Scolded them Gasus, at least, someone is in his right mind in this room.

" Comparison impossible ! " added brother, Damien.

" Are you even listening to me? In my eyes, you are the problem, " commented Gasus.

No way! I’ve started sucking my fingers in front of my brothers. That’s embarrassing! Wait. It seems that my teeth are growing. Oooooh !! That hurts a bit. This is perhaps the reason why I started sucking them. It’s understandable !!